If you were arrested for a high-profile crime, what about you would the media have a field day with?

[kambuckta]

I sometimes kill chickens.

I'm a telemarketer.....who works from home....in a quiet rural town.....and nobody knows.

[Quartz]

I'm a 45 year-old virgin. I can see it now: "Sex starved killer..."

[santosvega]

A lifelong involvement in radical political movements. I was a young hothead and was involved in the Socialist Workers Party and also got involved with a Nigerian resistance movement that in hindsight was a bit sketchy. Currently seeking work with the State Department and I don't think these things will help.

[Count Blucher]

The whole "breaking a politicians nose" thing.
I think they'd play that up for weeks; one side for the "danger to America" and the other for jealousy comedy gold. Imagine Steven Colbert reporting in a catchers mask or Jon Stewart even trying to keep a straight face.... which are themselves intriguing visuals and totally beside the point.

Being banned for life from a golf resort. They didn't like the under age drinking. Or having condoms under age. Or disruption of a national organizations events in their main hall. Or the stapling of flyers to trees along golf links (unauthorized use of their copy machine was related).
Or firing Polish Cannon down their hotel halls at 2AM. Or playing bumper cars & "mow down the flag" with golf carts on the greens. Yes, it was a busy weekend, but to be fair the things you do before you're 18 shouldn't really count.
(They do sound good to "Heatwave" by Linda Rondstadt though...)

[Namkcalb]

Quiet
Mentally ill (depression)
Doesn't have a Facebook page.
Plays computer games

Oh... and I rung up a mental health crisis hotline when I was getting obsessed with blowing up my school (I had a reaaaaaaaaaaaallllly bad reaction to a new antidepressant).

[Guinastasia]

Originally Posted by Broomstick

So much to choose from:

5) Not on Facebook

This is a joke, right? (Around here you never know)

[Infovore]

Originally Posted by Guinastasia

This is a joke, right? (Around here you never know)

The Aurora shooter isn't on Facebook, and the media did make something of a deal about that.

[MeanOldLady]

They certainly didn't have a "field day" with it. They're having a field day with him being an apparently brilliant scientist, but no one gives a fuck about his facebook.

Some of this stuff here is pretty lame. Yes, I could see the media clowns throwing a circus over a mass killer having a history of mental health issues, or owning many guns, being a Sunday School teacher, or being a vet, but nobody gives two shits if you LARP or play video games.

[Hypno-Toad]

Originally Posted by Broomstick

So much to choose from:

1) Quiet, keeps to self
2) Pagan
3) Plays RPGs, MMORPGs, etc.
4) Unpopular/bullied in school as a child
5) Not on Facebook

Except for #2, this.

[Infovore]

Originally Posted by MeanOldLady

They certainly didn't have a "field day" with it. They're having a field day with him being an apparently brilliant scientist, but no one gives a fuck about his facebook.

Some of this stuff here is pretty lame. Yes, I could see the media clowns throwing a circus over a mass killer having a history of mental health issues, or owning many guns, being a Sunday School teacher, or being a vet, but nobody gives two shits if you LARP or play video games.

I'm not so sure that's true. Maybe for somebody like this guy who had a lot of other bigger things for the media to get their undies in a twist about, but for an average boring citizen who didn't have his background, I think they would probably latch onto things like excessive video game play (especially if the games were controversial) as interesting bits of data.

[LonesomePolecat]

Involvement in fringe politics both right wing and left wing. Involvement in Paganism and ceremonial magic. Fascination (almost obsession) with Lovecraft. Fascination (almost obsession) with the films of Sam Peckinpah. Fan of The Stand mini-series and novel. Suspect in a murder investigation years ago. History of ADHD and bouts of severe depression. History of alcohol abuse. Owns several hundred horror comics, mostly EC reprints. Published a pretty gory swords and sorcery novel and several horror stories on the net.

Damn, they could really have a field day with me.

[control-z]

That I own firearms and ammo. I can't stand how every time someone is busted the media has mention any firearms that were found in their home. How about waffles? What's the correlation between waffles and crime? What about salt and pepper shakers? One set per room should be plenty for anyone.

[Blackberry]

Originally Posted by control-z

That I own firearms and ammo. I can't stand how every time someone is busted the media has mention any firearms that were found in their home. How about waffles? What's the correlation between waffles and crime? What about salt and pepper shakers? One set per room should be plenty for anyone.

And I might have an extensive collection of crack pipes for their artistic value, but if I get arrested for using crack then I still would expect people to take note of that.

[Broomstick]

Originally Posted by Broomstick

So much to choose from:

5) Not on Facebook

Originally Posted by Guinastasia

This is a joke, right? (Around here you never know)

Originally Posted by Infovore

The Aurora shooter isn't on Facebook, and the media did make something of a deal about that.

Yes, the talking heads noted how strange it was that someone of his generation wasn't on facebook. I guess being weird is a risk factor.

It's also a little like that phrase invariably seen after small airplane crashes: “No flight plan was filed”. The media like to make it sound ominous even in the many situations where no flight plan is required.

Oh, and I forget to mention, I'm also a pilot – I'm sure the media would spin that into something suspicious in this post-9/11 world.

[Taomist]

Every last person they interviewed about me would, unanimously and to a person, just say "She was always weird". But not a one of them could state exactly HOW or WHY.

Actually, the fact that I've never had a manicure would probably be the most interesting thing in the article.

[MeanOldLady]

Originally Posted by Infovore

I'm not so sure that's true. Maybe for somebody like this guy who had a lot of other bigger things for the media to get their undies in a twist about, but for an average boring citizen who didn't have his background, I think they would probably latch onto things like excessive video game play (especially if the games were controversial) as interesting bits of data.

I agree that the media will, if nothing interesting comes up, cling onto whatever they can find out of need to create a compelling narrative, but video game playing isn't a compelling narrative. The killer's gaming would have to be so excessive that it consumes the him, elsewise he's just every other guy on the planet.

[control-z]

Originally Posted by Blackberry

And I might have an extensive collection of crack pipes for their artistic value, but if I get arrested for using crack then I still would expect people to take note of that.

Not a good analogy. Crack pipes correspond to crack, but firearms don't correspond to crimes that don't involve firearms.

[Blackberry]

Originally Posted by control-z

Not a good analogy. Crack pipes correspond to crack, but firearms don't correspond to crimes that don't involve firearms.

Okay, then I have a large collection of crack pipes but I get arrested for using heroin.

But I didn't know we were talking specifically about crimes not involving firearms.

[DWMarch]

Where do I begin?

First and foremost, I belong to a gang. Or at least according to the FBI I do. I'm a Juggalo you see. Probably the only Juggalo you're ever going to see in dress pants, a polo shirt and glasses but I'm fully down with the clown. It occurs to me that I could actually get hassled at the border over this and that's without committing any crimes at all!

I got busted for shoplifting as a kid. They said the record goes away after X years but does it? Does it really? (Also, was busted for shoplifting Star Trek novels- now if that isn't a fucked up kid!)

My writing, which features a lot of unimaginative sex. Okay it's kind of weird that every female character is wearing a little black leather skirt but it's much more weird that it's the same story with every... single... one. This dude is obsessed!

Some of the Youtube videos I've linked to on Facebook. EpicLloyd's Dis Rap's For Hire features him sometimes kicking a baby or a puppy or something similar. It is all in comedic fun of course but could easily be read as violence fuel.

I have a fascination with the Israeli military and special forces. I figure if you know what Sayaret Matkal, Krav Maga and Namers are you've got to be in someone's database as a potential troublemaker. I also posted an OP here about the Secret Service (hey guys!) and I'm fascinated with the security apparatuses around world leaders. A day or two after I posted that Assad was in the most danger from his own bodyguards, a bodyguard blew up four of his ministers.

I had an Anarchist's Cookbook back in the day. Even then I was paranoid that it was compromised, which is to say that the government got their hands on it and changed all the recipes to the "blow your naughty fingers off" variety.

I have much porn. Some of it is categorized and organized in what is obviously serial killer fashion.

I have some violent video games.

I like some violent shows and movies. Alien Vs. Predator? Sick muthafucka! The Boondock Saints? The Matrix?

I have every one of Tom Clancy's books and I've read them all many times.

I was unpopular in high school and sometimes bullied. I also had depression and my parents split up when I was young. I took prozac and a few others I can't remember. I also wrote a lot of things that probably would get me arrested today.

I was fired from my last job. That's always a good homicidal rage inducer.

I was a Mormon a long time ago. I mostly joined the church to meet girls, dated a couple, didn't like where it was going, left so I could masturbate and drink coffee in peace.

I don't think I'll ever run for office. But I might, just to see if they find any of this stuff.

[Beastly Rotter]

Originally Posted by Broomstick

Oh, and I forget to mention, I'm also a pilot – I'm sure the media would spin that into something suspicious in this post-9/11 world.

You never forget to mention you're a pilot.

[Broomstick]

True, but this time I held off until my second post in this thread. For a pilot that's modest.

[Nava]

Originally Posted by MeanOldLady

Some of this stuff here is pretty lame. Yes, I could see the media clowns throwing a circus over a mass killer having a history of mental health issues, or owning many guns, being a Sunday School teacher, or being a vet, but nobody gives two shits if you LARP or play video games.

Like hell they don't. Most of the information on "the katana murderer", who killed his little sister and their parents in 2000, still says it was "in imitation of Final Fantasy". Dude has been diagnosed with paranoid schizofrenia combined with depression (poor kid didn't get hit by more mental illnesses cos he didn't have room for them), but if you read the information that's floating around, it was all FF's fault.

Yes, he liked FF VIII. No, it wasn't FF's fault!


As for "like every other guy in the planet". I've met a couple of hundreds of people who thought they did not play videogames under the following premise:

videogames are played by freaks
I am not a freak
therefore, what I play on my cellphone, FB, etc. are not videogames

That includes several reporters.

[Namkcalb]

Originally Posted by DWMarch

I have much porn. Some of it is categorized and organized in what is obviously serial killer fashion.

Let me guess, you have two folders.

• Little black leather skirt.
• Other

[DWMarch]

Originally Posted by Namkcalb

Let me guess, you have two folders.

• Little black leather skirt.
• Other

No, I said serial killer style!

Leather
Type: file folder
Location: D:\
Size 302 GB
Contains: 132,010 files, 2,102 folders

I'd list them all but...

(Edit: when I say serial killer style don't take it too literally. The safest any woman can possibly be in my presence is if she's got such a skirt on!)

[Cicero]

Probably that I grow big juicy *mushrooms* if you know what I mean....

[belladonna]

Originally Posted by Justin_Bailey

The ALA is very serious about privacy. You don't have a library book history, no one does.

I don't doubt you about ALA policy, but I know I can look at my lending history going back at least a couple of years if I access my library account online. So there is some history recorded; whether or not it could be seized by government officials is something I know nothing about.


As for me, they wouldn't need to dredge up anything nebulous. Those aren't skeletons in my closet, they're still-warm carcasses.

[akira5822]

Goverment employee

[Boyo Jim]

Originally Posted by akira5822

Goverment employee

I can tell from the minimal information in your post that you are a secretive government employee.

[smithsb]

Thirty-two years working with ammunition and explosives yet I own no guns, ammunition, or explosives

All my blood relatives are dead. After the last passed, I sold my bulldozer.

Middle name is "Wayne".

Am on a Walmart security tape wearing a pajama top over paisley shorts with mismatched flip-flops.

[campp]

"He took lots and lots of pictures... Of Things. Rusty things, old things, weird things, amazing things. Why did he do that?"

[Chronos]

For me, it'd probably be the fact that I own neither a car nor a television. Which either means that I'm an out-of-touch Luddite, or that I just find biking convenient and waste enough time already on my computer.

Though they might also mention my swords (actually, only one sword, plus three nonfunctional sword-shaped-objects, but d'you really expect the media to get that right?). But I think that that's probably more common than the lack of car and TV.

[Broomstick]

Do you think they'd find my crossbow suspicious?

[coffeecat]

I'm too embarrassed to say.

[furryman]

I'm a "furry", man.

[DennisMM]

Government employee who went on disability at one point
Long history of mental illness, specifically mood disorders
Prone to outbursts (before proper medication)
Sketchy employment history before joining the gov't
Reads comic books, often violence-filled comic books, at 50
Owns a TV and pays for cable, but doesn't watch it (extra weird)
Sexually and romantically compulsive behavior.
House looks like a landfill

[Siam Sam]

Sort of similar: How would you like to be remembered like this lady who just died: Woman who smuggled monkey in 2007 dies after rollover? Having tried to smuggle a small monkey into the US from Thailand five years ago by hiding it under your blouse and pretending to be pregnant.

[Taomist]

Originally Posted by MeanOldLady

I agree that the media will, if nothing interesting comes up, cling onto whatever they can find out of need to create a compelling narrative, but video game playing isn't a compelling narrative. The killer's gaming would have to be so excessive that it consumes the him, elsewise he's just every other guy on the planet.

well, I'm a GIRL playing on the interwebs; that's unusual right? AND...omg, AAAAND, she plays STAR WARS!! AAAAAAAAAND she plays EMPIRE! And OMG half her toons are male. Clearly she has issues. Plus, she plays LIGHTSIDE SITH. Clearly a problem with authority.

[Taomist]

Originally Posted by Siam Sam

Sort of similar: How would you like to be remembered like this lady who just died: Woman who smuggled monkey in 2007 dies after rollover? Having tried to smuggle a small monkey into the US from Thailand five years ago by hiding it under your blouse and pretending to be pregnant.

My guess is that if she hadn't smuggled monkeys, nobody on the net would care that she died at all. (Does anyone, anyway? How slow WAS that news day that this was news? )

[GuanoLad]

That I worked in porn. Yeah, that'd be enough to doom me in the Public's eyes, even if all I was accused of was parking infringements.

[Diceman]

I've seen a psychiatrist for anxiety and depression. I have a couple of books that could make me look like an anarchist/militia-type (specifically, How to Start Your Own Country and Uninhabited Ocean Islands. I'm also a fairly introverted person.

So basically, the media would make me look like a right-wing extremist, and would probably assume (without any justification whatsoever) that I was a racist redneck.

[Gedd]

They would probably point out that I was seeing a counselor, had a mental condition, and was taking medication for a bi-polar disorder.

They wouldn’t say that my wife and I saw a marriage counselor several years ago, I have epilepsy, and one of the anti-seizure medications I’m on can also be used to treat BD.

It's all in how you word it.

[MsJinx]

I collect mannequin hands (the old compo type), and some people have thought that was extremely weird and creepy. I don't do anything bad with them - I had a lady hand wearing a lace glove and holding an atomizer on my vanity. At Halloween I may have them out, but that seems apropros.

[MsJinx]

Oh, and I am quiet and a loner and have lights on into the wee hours even though I leave for work pretty early. And my ex-husband would be the first in line with his diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, which he has tried for years, unsuccessfully, to have some professional agreement on, but insists I am so good at it that I have everyone fooled - except him.

[a35362]

Another quiet loner, unmarried and living alone; I own all the Harry Potter books and movies and other fantasy/science fiction genre books and movies; also a few violent movies like Gladiator and Casino Royale, so obviously I live in a violent fantasy world. My 50+ autographed copies of George Stephanopoulos' book. Um, what else? I saw a therapist for a brief while about 25 years ago. Oh, and I work in the registrar's office at a state university and I have access to students' records (although I don't have access to everything and we are not allowed to even look at student records unless we have to to do our jobs). And I'm kind of untidy (hey, I live alone!).

No drugs, guns or cats, though.

[Boyo Jim]

Originally Posted by a35362

Another quiet loner, unmarried and living alone; I own all the Harry Potter books and movies and other fantasy/science fiction genre books and movies; also a few violent movies like Gladiator and Casino Royale, so obviously I live in a violent fantasy world. My 50+ autographed copies of George Stephanopoulos' book. Um, what else? I saw a therapist for a brief while about 25 years ago. Oh, and I work in the registrar's office at a state university and I have access to students' records (although I don't have access to everything and we are not allowed to even look at student records unless we have to to do our jobs). And I'm kind of untidy (hey, I live alone!).

No drugs, guns or cats, though.

It would be really helpful to the media if you do your killing spree on campus.

Thanks in advance!

[a35362]

Er, well, we already had one.

[Boyo Jim]

Originally Posted by a35362

Er, well, we already had one.

That'll make it an even bigger story!

I can see the headlines now. "2ND Killing Spree at NIU!" "Killer Campus" "What Makes NIU a Birthing Center for Terrorists?"

I had a niece going to school there at the time.

[a35362]

You're absolutely right. Ouch!

[LotusPotus]

They'd make a big deal of my long term (since age 15, 35 now) depression and anxiety, 2 failed overdoses.

Born to a mother and father who were 16 when they had me...alcoholic dad and now recovering alcoholic myself. Dad stabbed outside pub and killed when he was 36. In and out of women's refuges whilst growing up, saw and experienced much abuse and violence. Did lots of drugs from about age 13 and once got arrested for stealing...it wouldn't be a pretty picture of me I'm guessing, say if I did flip out and go on a murder spree...especially if The Daily Mail got hold of my past

[listedmia]

I used to be a hobo.
I was in a mental ward for a week when I was 13.

Among many, many other things.