Police probing Quebec maple syrup heist worth up to $30-million

matt_mcl · #1 08-30-2012, 10:54 PM

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/...rticle4510740/

Quote:

Quebec police are on the hunt for a sticky-fingered thief after millions of dollars of maple syrup vanished from a Quebec warehouse.

The theft was discovered during a routine inventory check last week at the St-Louis-de-Blandford warehouse, where the syrup is being held temporarily. The Federation of Quebec Maple Syrup Producers, which is responsible for the global strategic maple syrup reserve, initially kept the news quiet, hoping it would help police solve the crime quickly.

About 10 million pounds of syrup was stored at the site, at a value of more than $30-million.

I am gonna just leave this one right here, except to say that I had no idea that we had a "global strategic maple syrup reserve," but now that I do I can safely say it makes perfect sense and I'm glad we have one.

RickJay · #2 08-30-2012, 11:07 PM

Pretty sticky situation.

Sunspace · #3 08-30-2012, 11:12 PM

Well, if we told people about the Global Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve, we wouldn't be able to influence global maple-syrup prices, would we? And decreased maple-syrup prices increase demand for maple syrup, which decreases demand for corn syrup, it's prime competitor.

It's all wheels within wheels. But what do you expect from the country that puts the maple leaf on its flag?

Spoons · #4 08-31-2012, 01:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sunspace

Well, if we told people about the Global Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve, we wouldn't be able to influence global maple-syrup prices, would we?

Why am I remembering Dan Aykroyd and Eddie Murphy in Trading Places, and frozen concentrated orange juice as a commodity?

Of course, we all know that the best maple syrup comes from Ontario. (Says the guy who used to work in an Ontario sugarbush.)

I'll duck and run now....

Sage Rat · #5 08-31-2012, 01:47 AM

I bet Putin's having a nice stack of pancakes right about now.

t-bonham@scc.net · #6 08-31-2012, 01:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sage Rat

I bet Putin's having a nice stack of pancakes right about now.

No, it sounds like an inside job:
- this was not the normal, known storage place but a temporary one.
- it's difficult to track & trace sales, because all these Federated ... Producers are constantly buying & selling in the marketplace.
- they will suffer no monetary loss, since it was all insured.

bouv · #7 08-31-2012, 07:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spoons

Of course, we all know that the best maple syrup comes from Ontario. (Says the guy who used to work in an Ontario sugarbush.)

Pfft, you're both wrong. Everyone knows the best maple syrup comes from Vermont.

Quality over quantity and all that.

Jackmannii · #8 08-31-2012, 07:15 AM

Quote:

the global strategic maple syrup reserve

This is hilarious. If supplies get tight, does the parliament convene an emergency session to discuss releasing X gallons from the strategic reserve?

But I am worried about having all that maple syrup concentrated in one place. There could be a repetition of the Great Boston Molasses Flood, turning much of Quebec into a sticky mess.

Leaffan · #9 08-31-2012, 07:20 AM

I'm picturing a couple of hosers like Bob and Doug McKenzie behind this.

DCnDC · #10 08-31-2012, 07:28 AM

I'm picturing some kind of bizarre black market, with dudes in dark glasses and trenchcoats selling baggies of maple syrup on street corners.

Pssst hey! Hey you. You wanna buy some maple syrup? It's premium, top-grade shit. Give you a good price. Just talk to my man right over there, he'll hook you up.

cmkeller · #11 08-31-2012, 07:29 AM

Curse you, RickJay.

Dewey Finn · #12 08-31-2012, 07:42 AM

Wait, there's a "global strategic maple syrup reserve?" Seriously?

Sailboat · #13 08-31-2012, 07:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dewey Finn

Wait, there's a "global strategic maple syrup reserve?" Seriously?

Yeah, they keep it in case the supply pancakes.

FoieGrasIsEvil · #14 08-31-2012, 07:55 AM

How in the world does someone go about stealing "10 million pounds" of anything?

Sailboat · #15 08-31-2012, 07:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jackmannii

This is hilarious. If supplies get tight, does the parliament convene an emergency session to discuss releasing X gallons from the strategic reserve?

They mean to, but usually succumb to the tendency to waffle.

silenus · #16 08-31-2012, 09:01 AM

Somebody has been reading John Ringo and taking him way too seriously!

Dewey Finn · #17 08-31-2012, 09:10 AM

The Consumerist website also picked up on this story. One of the commentators there pointed out that maple syrup is harvested only during part of the year, so it would make sense that it's warehoused for bottling and sale during the rest of the year. Much less crazy-sounding than a "global strategic reserve."

matt_mcl · #18 08-31-2012, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FoieGrasIsEvil

How in the world does someone go about stealing "10 million pounds" of anything?

As I read it, there were 10 million pounds of maple syrup stored at the site. The theft is less than that, but still valued in the millions of dollars.

rjk · #19 08-31-2012, 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by matt_mcl

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/...rticle4510740/

I am gonna just leave this one right here, except to say that I had no idea that we had a "global strategic maple syrup reserve," but now that I do I can safely say it makes perfect sense and I'm glad we have one.

First you got de Beers, and then you got de Syrup. Canada is just as good as South Africa!

detop · #20 08-31-2012, 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FoieGrasIsEvil

How in the world does someone go about stealing "10 million pounds" of anything?

Like anything else, one pound at a time.

Gagundathar · #21 08-31-2012, 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rjk

First you got de Beers, and then you got de Syrup. Canada is just as good as South Africa!

Hold on.
Are you saying that the maple syrup I just purchased might be 'Blood Syrup'?

Malthus · #22 08-31-2012, 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FoieGrasIsEvil

How in the world does someone go about stealing "10 million pounds" of anything?

The *real* trick was training the 1 million pounds of ants.

drastic_quench · #23 08-31-2012, 12:15 PM

"Jesse, we need to cook... Walt Jr. breakfast."

lieu · #24 08-31-2012, 12:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rjk

First you got de Beers, and then you got de Syrup. Canada is just as good as South Africa!

Oooh... de taunt.

FoieGrasIsEvil · #25 08-31-2012, 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drastic_quench

"Jesse, we need to cook... Walt Jr. breakfast."

Ha. I thought that when I saw the picture in the linked article with all those steel 55 gallon drums. I thought "Hey, that's not syrup, that's methylamine!"

Malthus · #26 08-31-2012, 12:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FoieGrasIsEvil

Ha. I thought that when I saw the picture in the linked article with all those steel 55 gallon drums. I thought "Hey, that's not syrup, that's methylamine!"

And so yet another idea for a bad Breaking Bad twist ending is inspired ...

Dendarii Dame · #27 08-31-2012, 12:40 PM

Forget it, Jake, it's St-Louis-de-Blandford.

YogSosoth · #28 08-31-2012, 01:25 PM

All they have to do is keep watch over the local supermarkets for bulk buyers of pancake batter and they'll have their thieves

Gorsnak · #29 08-31-2012, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gagundathar

Hold on.
Are you saying that the maple syrup I just purchased might be 'Blood Syrup'?

It's worse than that. Much, much worse. Syrup is blood, the blood of the sugar maple. If trees could speak, the sugar maples would all be screaming in agony.

johnpost · #30 08-31-2012, 05:19 PM

they need to deputize a whole bunch of ants. they will find it.

Sunspace · #31 08-31-2012, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gorsnak

It's worse than that. Much, much worse. Syrup is blood, the blood of the sugar maple. If trees could speak, the sugar maples would all be screaming in agony.

Crap. No-one was supposed to tell. Now the Global Condiment Monitoring Agency will be on our asses.

levdrakon · #32 08-31-2012, 05:34 PM

How does one fence $30 million in syrup without anyone noticing? It'll be hilarious if it shows up on Craigslist.

FoieGrasIsEvil · #33 08-31-2012, 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by levdrakon

How does one fence $30 million in syrup without anyone noticing? It'll be hilarious if it shows up on Craigslist.

How much maple syrup makes up 30 freaking MILLION dollars worth? It has to be an ocean of the stuff. How does our intrepid thief unload such a score? We have to be talking HUGE quantities here.

Nava · #34 08-31-2012, 06:24 PM

What I want to know is, is there a global strategic reserve of pancakes? Waffles? Pancake mix?

johnpost · #35 08-31-2012, 06:30 PM

word has it that IHOP, Butterworth and Jemima were behind it.

Muffin · #36 08-31-2012, 06:39 PM

Meanwhile, there has been a recent influx of bears into the next province over. Coincidence? I think not. The bears did it, and have fled across the border.

Hari Seldon · #37 08-31-2012, 06:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FoieGrasIsEvil

How in the world does someone go about stealing "10 million pounds" of anything?

Back around Nov. 22, 1963, a storage tank in NY (or maybe NJ) that was supposed to be full of salad oil was found to be empty. It would have been a major story and perhaps even caused economic upheaval, but there were other happenings on Nov. 23 that drove it out of people's consciousness and also closed the stock markets so they managed to paper over it. But how do you empty a storage tank surreptitiously? Maybe, like the oil, the syrup never actually got to the warehouse.

Leaffan · #38 08-31-2012, 07:03 PM

I think Pauline Marois should be very afraid then.

LavenderBlue · #39 08-31-2012, 07:50 PM

Canadians are now reporting copycats have also stolen massive quantities of poutine.

levdrakon · #40 08-31-2012, 07:53 PM

When Canadians horde maple syrup and poutine, does that mean we're going to have a severe winter?

Sunspace · #41 08-31-2012, 07:55 PM

I was listening today to a CBC Radio One interview with the director of the Global Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve, who said that that was not the only warehouse, and that it held a total of $30 million of syrup, and that not all of it was taken. My impression is that the stockkeepers were caught with their pants down by this.

Little Nemo · #42 08-31-2012, 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hari Seldon

Back around Nov. 22, 1963, a storage tank in NY (or maybe NJ) that was supposed to be full of salad oil was found to be empty. It would have been a major story and perhaps even caused economic upheaval, but there were other happenings on Nov. 23 that drove it out of people's consciousness and also closed the stock markets so they managed to paper over it. But how do you empty a storage tank surreptitiously? Maybe, like the oil, the syrup never actually got to the warehouse.

If this was a serious question, the owner - Anthony DeAngelis, aka The Salad-Oil King - had a series of underground pipes that would pump oil from one tank to another. It was, of course, a scam. Actually, several scams.

For You · #43 08-31-2012, 09:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Muffin

Meanwhile, there has been a recent influx of bears into the next province over. Coincidence? I think not. The bears did it, and have fled across the border.

Damn, those bears are good swimmers

bouv · #44 08-31-2012, 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gorsnak

It's worse than that. Much, much worse. Syrup is blood, the blood of the sugar maple. If trees could speak, the sugar maples would all be screaming in agony.

"If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down?

We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason."

~Jack Handy

Chanteuse · #45 09-01-2012, 03:44 AM

The guy sounds like a real sap.

Robot Arm · #46 09-01-2012, 04:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sunspace

I was listening today to a CBC Radio One interview with the director of the Global Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve, who said that that was not the only warehouse, and that it held a total of $30 million of syrup, and that not all of it was taken.

Thirty million dollars in maple syrup weighs 10,500 tons. Sixty men would take twelve days to load it onto 200 trucks. Now, at the most, they're going to have two hours before the Mounties move in and make them put it back.

Really, if they had any brains, they'd break into the warehouse and detonate a nuclear weapon. The entire maple syrup supply of Canada would be radioactive for fifty-seven years. There would be economic chaos, and dry pancakes, in the West, and the value of their syrup increases many times.

Suburban Plankton · #47 09-01-2012, 04:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Robot Arm

Thirty million dollars in maple syrup weighs 10,500 tons.

Are you sure about that? 10,500 tons is 21 million pounds. That works out to $1.43/pound, which is a bit low for maple syrup, unless we're really getting shafted here in California...

Gorsnak · #48 09-01-2012, 09:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Suburban Plankton

Are you sure about that? 10,500 tons is 21 million pounds. That works out to $1.43/pound, which is a bit low for maple syrup, unless we're really getting shafted here in California...

I think you're losing the plot here. Man has climbed Mount Everest, gone to the bottom of the ocean. He's fired rockets at the Moon, split the atom, achieved miracles in every field of human endeavor... except crime!