I noticed a trend among many of my older co workers- many of them have filipina girlfriends/wives. The guys tend to be in their forties/fifties, white, previously married. I dont know of any of these couples that have kids together. Many of these guys move to the Phillipines when they retire.
The reason it makes me curious is because its so specifically women from the Phillipines, is there something cultural that is appealing to these guys? I know asian women are kind of fetishized in our culturr, but still I kind of wonder why its not, say, Chinese women, or vietnamese, etc.
There used to be a large military presence in the Phillipines. It wouldn’t surprise me if these guys are former Marines or Sailors who met their wives while they were stationed there.
Oh darn…just re-read your post and saw they they are previously married. n/m my theory.
Well, English is one of the 2 official languages of the Philippines (the other is Tagalog). So, that probably helps. As far as I know, there is no other Asian nation where English is an official language. So, there’s a pretty good chance that a Filipina mail-order bride will speak and understand English.
The deal with Filipina women might just be that they want to leave.
I saw a lot of asian wives on military bases, and a good proportion were from the Phillipines. Almost all of them were married to older service members. I saw very, very few younger guys married to asian women.
Of course that doesn’t prove anything. It’s also a fact that most of the ‘hostesses’ in the bars off-base in Okinawa were Filipino. Don’t know what that means, either.
I would say see this parallell thread. Understandably American women by and large aren’t putting up with being basically a cooking, fucking, listening doll who doesn’t talk too much to her husband about emotions and feelings and other drivel, except when the husband wants to talk drivel in which case said doll will listen soothe and advise with infinite patience.
Equally understandably of course, a lot of men especially of the older generation want such a doll and can find one in a Phillipino woman. So it works out for both parties.
Can generally cook very well, and many Filipino dishes are quite tasty to Americans.
Are usually Catholic.
Come from a very poor country, and are generally very happy and grateful to come to the US, so are less likely to ask a man for more than he is willing to provide.
Come from a society with stricter gender roles than the US, so have been trained to act more “feminine” than most American women - deferring to the man, making him feel important, etc - and that can make a man, especially an older man, feel more masculine in return. (She may be looking for a more “masculine” man, too)
Immigration is fairly easy between the US and the Philippines, so it isn’t as hard to get a Filipina over here legally as it is, say, a Mexican woman.
Are different enough to be “exotic”, but are still quite familiar with American customs, etc.
That’s just some of the things I can think of off the top of my head. They don’t apply to all Filipinas, of course, but as a broad brushstroke I don’t think it’s inaccurate.
Perhaps this is true for some. For most, I think they simply view American-born women as spoiled, self-centered, and high-maintenance, and are looking for someone whom they believe does not possess these traits by virtue of the culture they were raised in. And to be completely honest, I think they have a point.
I used to work with a guy about 10 years ago. He was mid-late 40s, ugly as a troll. He had a very pretty Filipina wife. He didn’t talk about her much, but he mentioned early on that he “got her from the Phillipines”. At some point she got a job and I guess their marriage went down hill, as one day he announced that his upcoming vacation was to the Phillipines to check out his new wife. One of the other guys was like, “Don’t you have a wife?” He explained that they divorced and he should never had let her get that job because she thinks she’s too good for him now. I’m thinking she was always too good for him. Also, she didn’t get pregnant. The second one got pregnant right away and he didn’t even go be with her when she was in labor. He was like, “I told them to call me when the kid was born.”
He was a seriously unpleasant person to work with, so I cannot imagine how awful he would have been to live with. Eventually, he got fired for looking at porn on the company computers. After he left, he did something so a bunch of us were getting a lot of porn and weird emails to our work email addresses. I hope his second wife got out.
I agree with all that from a UK POV. My Dad’s fourth wife is a Phillipino mail-order bride.
Basically, if a man wants a younger mail-order bride from some exotic country where the women seem to be into old-fashioned gender roles, and will be grateful for him providing a roof over their heads, then the Phillipines is a much safer bet than most other Asian countries, for all the reasons you give.
Language and religion especially - it’s fairly obvious that it’d be easier to marry someone who speaks the same language as you (even if not as perfectly as you - enabling you to feel superior) and doesn’t want to go to the mosque or whatever.
FWIW, my Dad and his wife are very happy - she’s basically transformed him (she’s not as subservient as she seems). She has a lot of friends who are the same type of bride and, although you can’t judge a whole marriage from just meeting someone at a birthday party or whatever, they seem at least as happy as the average UK-UK marriage.
