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  #1  
Old 09-14-2012, 06:52 PM
Win Place Show Win Place Show is offline
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any good way to say goodbye to someone you hate, when they're leaving a job?

I have a situation where we have an employee resigning at the end of this week. Moving on, better job, better pay, gave full notice, helped train their replacement during the "notice period", etc. Pretty much everything you'd ask in a departing employee.

Only problem is that this person and I absolutely can not stand each other. Simple personality conflict that manifested itself over time into full-blown professional conflict. Neither one of us report to the other one, so that's not part of the equation.

Is there any good way to say "goodbye" to this person, without coming across as too phony (i.e. "I really enjoyed working with you, and I hope your new job fulfills all your wishes and desires"), or too douchey (i.e. on their last day, blatantly ignoring the fact that their leaving, while they're walking around saying their goodbyes to everyone else in the department)?

My first thought was "look, you and I obviously don't have a whole lot to say to each other, but take care of yourself". Period, end of story, and walk away. That's probably not the ideal choice of words, so any suggestions would be helpful. Thanks for any input.
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  #2  
Old 09-14-2012, 07:02 PM
StGermain StGermain is online now
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"Good luck. I hope you enjoy your new job." What more do you have to say? Calling them out on your antipathy serves no purpose.

StG
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  #3  
Old 09-14-2012, 07:05 PM
Yorikke Yorikke is offline
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Just ignore her. Or him. Well done disguising your genders. Seriously, unless you'd normally interact with her, don't.
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  #4  
Old 09-14-2012, 07:05 PM
Asimovian Asimovian is offline
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I'd probably avoid saying anything about how you feel about them or their future, since you'll both know it's a lie. "Good luck; take care" is probably as far as you need to go.
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  #5  
Old 09-14-2012, 07:08 PM
DataX DataX is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StGermain View Post
"Good luck. I hope you enjoy your new job." What more do you have to say? Calling them out on your antipathy serves no purpose.

StG
Agree - or if "I hope you enjoy" is more than you can muster - "Good luck with your new job".
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  #6  
Old 09-14-2012, 07:10 PM
Rhiannon8404 Rhiannon8404 is offline
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Yeah, it's best to just say something like "Best of luck to you" and leave it like that.

Though possible the person won't come by your desk to say goodbye. When I was leaving my job, there were a couple of people whose desks I didn't stop by.
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  #7  
Old 09-14-2012, 07:17 PM
Rachellelogram Rachellelogram is online now
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Yeah, I'm not sure why she'd come up to you at all. If you happen to see her that day, brusquely say, "Good luck," and keep walking.
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  #8  
Old 09-14-2012, 07:21 PM
Mean Mr. Mustard Mean Mr. Mustard is offline
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(assuming it's a guy)

"Good day. I said, good day, sir!"


mmm
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  #9  
Old 09-14-2012, 07:32 PM
billfish678 billfish678 is offline
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I think part of the issue here is whether the person leaving just happens to be an okay human you just happen to hate for odd reasons or a person you honestly think is a worthless sack of shit.

If it is the former, an honest "I know we didn't get along...but I think you are a good person and I honestly hope things at the new place work out for you.." or something along those lines is the way to go.

Actual bitch from hell? Practice your five fingered taint punch of death (I am sure youtube has some instructional videos that will help).
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  #10  
Old 09-14-2012, 07:33 PM
Jonathan Chance Jonathan Chance is online now
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To hell with all the reasonable responses.

Paul Sanchez The Hate Song
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  #11  
Old 09-14-2012, 07:35 PM
SeaDragonTattoo SeaDragonTattoo is online now
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Yeah, the "we don't have a lot to say to each other..." is kinda douchey. I simply don't go out of my way to say goodbye to people I don't like. If they happen by my desk, or we end up in a common area and it comes up, a simple "good luck with the new job" is all that's needed. It's not insincere - I really do want the new job to go well for them because if it doesn't, they might come back! If it doesn't come up, they'll simply be gone and your next work day will be absent one source of stress.

Last edited by SeaDragonTattoo; 09-14-2012 at 07:36 PM..
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  #12  
Old 09-14-2012, 07:41 PM
even sven even sven is offline
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"The office won't be the same without you"?

Seriously, just say "Hey dude, best of luck out there."
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  #13  
Old 09-14-2012, 08:07 PM
Enginerd Enginerd is offline
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With a giant shit-eating grin on your face, because you never have to see this person again.
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  #14  
Old 09-14-2012, 08:10 PM
Ravenman Ravenman is online now
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"Good luck in the new job. I've heard good things about Papa Johns (or the real name of the new employer."

Seriously, just wish him good luck.
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  #15  
Old 09-14-2012, 09:37 PM
msmith537 msmith537 is offline
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Job...done.
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  #16  
Old 09-14-2012, 10:15 PM
emeraldia emeraldia is offline
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1. "Oh, look, the little baby's taking their toys and leaving!"

2. "No notice? Way to just abandon us. I don't know how we're going to find a replacement, much less have them trained. Thanks for leaving us all in the lurch. Hope you're happy."

3. "Yeah, you better leave the company, bitch! You were scared... I win! You lose!"

4. "Well, well, well.. what have we here? It's Mr./Ms. "I'm too cool to work here anymore. You can go straight to hell."


I'd try one or more of those.

Last edited by emeraldia; 09-14-2012 at 10:19 PM..
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  #17  
Old 09-14-2012, 10:15 PM
Kolga Kolga is offline
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<Tombstone> Well...Bye. </Tombstone>
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  #18  
Old 09-14-2012, 10:31 PM
Roderick Femm Roderick Femm is offline
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I was in this situation not too long ago, and really, it didn't come up. She knew she was unpopular within our small work group, so although she said lots of good-byes in other parts of the office, when it came time to leave on the last day she kind of just wandered out and didn't say anything to us.

If she had, I would have nodded and said "Good luck." In fact she was emotionally disturbed rather than evil, so although I was glad she was leaving I didn't hold too much of a grudge or anything.


Roddy
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  #19  
Old 09-14-2012, 11:23 PM
BDBoop BDBoop is offline
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If you happen to catch that person's eye, just nod at them. Other than that, I find speech to be heavily over-rated.
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  #20  
Old 09-14-2012, 11:29 PM
Shawn K Shawn K is offline
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Well if you want to leave no doubt how you feel you can always go: FOKY

or just: Good luck at the new job, or ignore.
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  #21  
Old 09-14-2012, 11:33 PM
UncleRojelio UncleRojelio is online now
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Don't let the the door hit ya on the way out.
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  #22  
Old 09-14-2012, 11:33 PM
Emtar KronJonDerSohn Emtar KronJonDerSohn is offline
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I left a job some years ago where I was on great terms with everyone except one guy. 3 o'clock rolled around and it was time to go and I said goodbye to everyone, got some hugs, exchanged info, and this guy was just kid of milling around at the end of the line looking smug and trying not to make eye contact. When I was done with everyone else I walked up to him, shook his hand firmly and put my other hand on his shoulder, looked him right in the eye, and said (with a warm smile in a cordial tone) "I never liked you." He was so stunned he didn't say a word, everyone else laughed, and I left on a really high note. It was great. Don't like him (or her) do that to you!
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  #23  
Old 09-15-2012, 12:47 AM
panache45 panache45 is offline
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"Thank God, I thought you'd never leave."
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  #24  
Old 09-15-2012, 12:56 AM
Jake Jones Jake Jones is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Emtar KronJonDerSohn View Post
I left a job some years ago where I was on great terms with everyone except one guy. 3 o'clock rolled around and it was time to go and I said goodbye to everyone, got some hugs, exchanged info, and this guy was just kid of milling around at the end of the line looking smug and trying not to make eye contact. When I was done with everyone else I walked up to him, shook his hand firmly and put my other hand on his shoulder, looked him right in the eye, and said (with a warm smile in a cordial tone) "I never liked you." He was so stunned he didn't say a word, everyone else laughed, and I left on a really high note. It was great. Don't like him (or her) do that to you!
Here's a tip for you. Next time, before you present yourself as a douchebag because you behaved inappropriately in a professional environment, you should first present evidence that the other guy was a bigger douchebag than you.

Also, I bet all of your ex-coworkers tell the tale, to this day, about your awesomeness, because of your last day, and how awesome you were when you behaved like a dick. It was cool, because they all laughed. Because you're awesome.

Others have answered the OP correctly. It can be either avoiding the confrontation or wishing good luck as a perfunctory duty. Don't be a douchebag, even if you think it might get laughs. Especially if you think it might get laughs.
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  #25  
Old 09-15-2012, 01:30 AM
Asimovian Asimovian is offline
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Originally Posted by Kolga View Post
<Tombstone> Well...Bye. </Tombstone>
Beautiful.
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  #26  
Old 09-15-2012, 09:44 AM
Shoeless Shoeless is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by even sven View Post
"The office won't be the same without you"?

Seriously, just say "Hey dude, best of luck out there."
Yeah, I was thinking something like "Things will be different around here without you." Which may be true but not in the way it would normally be taken.

Last edited by Shoeless; 09-15-2012 at 09:44 AM..
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  #27  
Old 09-15-2012, 09:54 AM
Johnny L.A. Johnny L.A. is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kolga View Post
<Tombstone> Well...Bye. </Tombstone>
That's the exact quote I was going to post! Only I was wondering how to type the accent.

(I love that delivery.)
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  #28  
Old 09-15-2012, 10:14 AM
blondebear blondebear is online now
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I agree that a perfunctory farewell with no frills is the way to go. I am in a similar situation, and if my coworker ever leaves, I will say my goodbye in as few words as possible. And then, at the end of the day when I walk out the door,I will do a happy dance all the way to my car.
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  #29  
Old 09-15-2012, 10:15 AM
elbows elbows is offline
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Now is no time to reference or acknowledge the difficulties between you, leave that aside.

'Just want you to know, we really appreciate the full notice and great job you did with training X. I sincerely wish you nothing but good fortune in future!'

Shake their hand and walk away. You'll feel awesome for taking the high road and resolving a difficult relationship. They will feel great because you've acknowledge something that reflects their professionalism, and because you've helped to resolve a difficult relationship before the opportunity, to do so, is gone forever.

Win Win!
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  #30  
Old 09-15-2012, 10:19 AM
HoneyBadgerDC HoneyBadgerDC is online now
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I would try and find somthing positive about the work relationship you had if possible and make a brief comment on that. If their was nothing positive a simple good luck and handshake. I recently retired and wanted to tell a bunch of them to go get fucked but I gave a brief and vague speech and walked away. Kicking my heels as I approached my car.
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  #31  
Old 09-15-2012, 10:29 AM
Johnny L.A. Johnny L.A. is offline
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Originally Posted by badger5149 View Post
I would try and find somthing positive about the work relationship you had if possible and make a brief comment on that.
'You did a good job not strangling any kittens in the office. We all appreciate your efforts.'
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  #32  
Old 09-15-2012, 10:48 AM
Icarus Icarus is online now
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Just remember, it's a small world. You may end up working together again in the future. You may get a job where they are going at some point. People have very long memories. So, no need to leave a trail of douche-piss.

Keep it on the up-and-up.
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  #33  
Old 09-15-2012, 10:55 AM
Dendarii Dame Dendarii Dame is offline
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Originally Posted by Icarus View Post
Just remember, it's a small world. You may end up working together again in the future. You may get a job where they are going at some point. People have very long memories. So, no need to leave a trail of douche-piss.

Keep it on the up-and-up.
I know someone who didn't follow this advice when he left one job, and shortly afterwards wound up working again, at a different job, with the same people he'd been rude to.
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  #34  
Old 09-15-2012, 11:00 AM
Emtar KronJonDerSohn Emtar KronJonDerSohn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake Jones View Post
Here's a tip for you. Next time, before you present yourself as a douchebag because you behaved inappropriately in a professional environment, you should first present evidence that the other guy was a bigger douchebag than you.

Also, I bet all of your ex-coworkers tell the tale, to this day, about your awesomeness, because of your last day, and how awesome you were when you behaved like a dick. It was cool, because they all laughed. Because you're awesome.

Others have answered the OP correctly. It can be either avoiding the confrontation or wishing good luck as a perfunctory duty. Don't be a douchebag, even if you think it might get laughs. Especially if you think it might get laughs.

Thanks for the tip!

In the future I'll have to remember to post cites for my own anecdotes (in IMHO even) and either hide from people I don't like or be disingenuous with them. Clearly I have burned my bridges WRT ever working in retail again. You have truly saved me from myself.
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  #35  
Old 09-15-2012, 09:35 PM
Eureka Eureka is online now
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The evil, nasty, snarky part of me (I think it's my left elbow) suggests that you say some sort of variant on the classic blessing for the Czar from Fiddle on the Roof (May God Bless and Keep the Czar . . . far, far away from here.)

The pragmatic part recommends saying either nothing (if you can avoid the departing person without making it obvious), saying polite nothings (Best wishes to you and your new company) or polite somethings (Thank you for making this transition as smooth as possible).

After all, it's a small world, and sometimes people we thought we left behind forever turn up again--too often in positions of power.

And if your co-workers haven't realized you hate this person, this is not the time to tell them.
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  #36  
Old 09-16-2012, 09:08 PM
Fair Rarity Fair Rarity is offline
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There was one person I hated at work that everyone else got along with. Ignoring the stuff would have made me look bad, even though she was the awful person.

So I took a personal day or called out sick, something to that effect. Didn't have to pretend to be nice when I wasn't there.

I knew I couldn't spend the whole day keeping my mouth shut or eyes from rolling.
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  #37  
Old 09-17-2012, 01:42 AM
YogSosoth YogSosoth is online now
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Why pretend to be nice? "Nice of you to finally fuck off" is something I long to say to some people at work
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  #38  
Old 09-17-2012, 01:47 AM
HazelNutCoffee HazelNutCoffee is offline
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"Propser and be hanged to ye."
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  #39  
Old 09-17-2012, 02:37 AM
cmyk cmyk is offline
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Whatever this person's name is, get it slightly wrong.

Like, if it's Darren, look him nonchalantly in the eye, very limply shaking his hand and say, "good luck to you, Darryl." Then walk over to the coffee pot with out looking back.
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  #40  
Old 09-17-2012, 03:33 AM
Mona Lisa Simpson Mona Lisa Simpson is offline
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I had a boss who I originally got along with, then things went rather bad. I walked out of her office rather than start to cry. She ran down the hallway screaming at me, hauled me into HR She got an 18 month flag put on my personel file. I am neither insubordinate nor rude, but as a nurse I didn't want to do a procedure that was not authorized yet in-facility, despite her verbal that it was ok.

I was off work on compensation for a fractured wrist when she was fired. A co worker phoned me gleefully with the news. It was just before Christmas and this boss of mine was a single parent with four children under the age of 12. I phoned my boss, left a message that I was sorry to hear about her circumstances and I wished her the best of luck and a Merry Christmas. I never heard from her again.

Two years later we were in orientation together for another job. She remembered my phone call, thanked me for it, apologized for never responding, and seemed kindly enough. However, I think I was completely torpedoed in that job, most likely by her. People I know who still worked at that facility said she was a walking disaster area. It didn't matter, that was a casual "extra money" job, but two months later I got a management position and didn't have to deal with boss lady ever again. (Especially now since I moved out of province)
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  #41  
Old 09-17-2012, 04:16 AM
Mijin Mijin is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jonathan Chance View Post
To hell with all the reasonable responses.

Paul Sanchez The Hate Song
Or Graham Coxon's Song for the Sick

Quote:
Originally Posted by Excerpt from Song for the Sick
Did you ever think
You'd get away with it
Your attitude just stinks
You cowardly little shit
Consider this a spell
And watch where you tread
And I'll see you in hell
I'll be laughing cause you're dead

Last edited by Mijin; 09-17-2012 at 04:16 AM..
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  #42  
Old 09-17-2012, 05:08 AM
RTFirefly RTFirefly is offline
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Originally Posted by Rhiannon8404 View Post
Yeah, it's best to just say something like "Best of luck to you" and leave it like that.
This. You may be thinking, "Don't let the door hit you on the way out," but no need to put it, or any related sentiment, into spoken words.

He's leaving; any negative statements you add won't gain you a thing. So leave well enough alone.
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  #43  
Old 09-17-2012, 09:17 AM
lost4life lost4life is online now
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I guess, as mentioned, it depends on why you hate the person. If it's just office stuff, remember that they will be out of your life and there's no reason to hate them anymore. I would be an adult and just say "Hey, good luck on the new gig. I mean that." The hard part is to actually mean it. Don't forget that being nice can also be a pretty cool weapon.

Now, if the person is a truly disgusting human being who beats his wife, kicks puppies, or puts ketchup on hot dogs, then I would do nothing. Why go there?
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  #44  
Old 09-17-2012, 10:58 AM
BobLibDem BobLibDem is offline
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When people I despise leave the job, I just ignore them. If they insist on saying goodbye, I shake their hand and say goodbye. If they don't come around to me, I don't make an effort to come to them. There's no need to be rude and you must at all times be civil.
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  #45  
Old 09-17-2012, 11:27 AM
Helena330 Helena330 is offline
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It would be unprofessional to make more of it than good bye or good luck. As people have said you could end up working for/with this person again, plus your co-workers and bosses will be watching and noting. You're better off saying nothing if you think you won't be able to refrain from making a snarky comment.
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  #46  
Old 09-17-2012, 11:59 AM
kayaker kayaker is online now
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"Remember that lunch you packed that tasted somehow off? Heheheh"
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  #47  
Old 09-17-2012, 12:56 PM
John Mace John Mace is online now
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Originally Posted by elbows View Post
Now is no time to reference or acknowledge the difficulties between you, leave that aside.

'Just want you to know, we really appreciate the full notice and great job you did with training X. I sincerely wish you nothing but good fortune in future!'

Shake their hand and walk away. You'll feel awesome for taking the high road and resolving a difficult relationship. They will feel great because you've acknowledge something that reflects their professionalism, and because you've helped to resolve a difficult relationship before the opportunity, to do so, is gone forever.

Win Win!
I think this is the best advice. I like the part about acknowledging what a good job they did with the transition. You don't need to like someone to say they did a good job when they did a good job.

Or, you can try: "Hope you've got the whole 'would you like fries with that' routine down, because you're gonna need it"!

Last edited by John Mace; 09-17-2012 at 12:56 PM..
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  #48  
Old 09-17-2012, 02:50 PM
Barrett Bonden Barrett Bonden is offline
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I do not recommend the linked approach, but when I saw it, I thought of this thread.

Office Farewell Email
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  #49  
Old 09-17-2012, 03:15 PM
Freddy the Pig Freddy the Pig is online now
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You could always organize the going-away party, and be waaaaay too enthusiastic about it.

I like the part about hiring a band.
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  #50  
Old 09-18-2012, 06:04 AM
kayaker kayaker is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Barrett Bonden View Post
I do not recommend the linked approach, but when I saw it, I thought of this thread.

Office Farewell Email
Fantastic. I can just see each person trying to decide who was who on the list.
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