I love Snider’s jalapeno flavored potato chips.
Yesterday, I ummm… ate a whole bag.
Had stomach rumblings on the way to work.
Got there, hit the men’s room, and started to do my business.
HHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWLLLLL!
Holy spicy crap it hurt!
I guess it’s the combination of grease and heat.
Worst part was had to go a couple of more times as well.
And they have that sandpaper toilet paper at work, too.
Er, is there a rant here? 
I’m angry about the above scenario (I had thought that was obvious.)
It’s a vague and nonspecific anger, but it’s there nonetheless.
If I asked you to chew on a tube of Preparation H, and then orally apply it to my fiery orifice would that qualify as pit-worthy to you?
Yes!! Much better!! Although the judges unfortunately can’t give you any extra points for the OP, ‘cause you had to add clarification in an additional post. So I’m gonna have to go with a basic 6.0. But we’re still waiting to hear from the other judges, you know, so sit tight.
[sub]you sounded like maybe you were actually kinda enjoyin’ the experience, ya know? Ambivalent, like. So I wasn’t sure. Some people do, you know. All together now–EEEWWWWWWW…[/sub]
::mutter mutter::
Allright Duck, you’re on the list. 
[Jerry McGuire Mode]
You had me at “I have Serious Wolf-ass.”
[/Jerry McGuire Mode]
Honestly, with the subject line like that, who cares what the rest of the rant is like?
Ahem, is this supposed to be some sort of avant garde rant!?
Scylla, that is god’s way of anally raping you.
Consider yourself, if not just your ass, to be damned.
mutter, snarl, complain
Why the hell does it have to be “wolf”-ass? Why couldn’t it have been jackal-ass, or dog-ass? Or even Scylla-ass? Why the hell involve the wolves?
damn toilet humour …
Here’s my regular Thursday night lineup:
Lots of beer.
Lots of Buffalo wings, as hot as they come.
Lots of Jalapeno poppers.
Lots of beer.
Do you have any idea what my Friday mornings are like? Wolf-ass is just the beginning…
frobozz, I hope you’re not a bottom . . .
I saw the best scyllas of my generation destroyed by peppers, starving hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the bathroom stalls at dawn looking for a roll of charmin
And it’s beat, dammit! Don’t tread on my literary genres.
snap snap snap snap snap …groovy man… snap snap snap
So does this beret make me a chick magnet?
I thought this was gonna be about “Come Together II: Remix v1.4”
Here come ol’ Wolf-ass he got jalapeno
He one howlin’ bunghole He say ‘Ay caramba’
Drops his pants down below his knees
He stay doubled over til he do what he please
[sub]All rights reserved, of course.[/sub]
You realize, of course, that your colon probably hates you.
I agree. Obviously Scylla’s jealous of our manly, wolf-like good looks, and our lupine posting nature. I’m torn that a poster I so admire could be so terribly, terribly hate-filled.
I weep.
Fenris
Apparently I’ve offended all the lupine-enabled posters on this board with my term “wolf-ass.”
For the record, I think there is nothing wrong with being wolf-like, nor am I insinuating anything unsavory about wolves’ anuses.
Wolf-ass simply means that it hurts so bad, you howl.
Some of my best friends are lupine.
Cookass!
<Disco Stu voice>
No waaaay, pal: it hurts so good
<Disco Stu voice>
Great. Now I’ve just grossed myself out.
Fenris
Wolf-ass? What a letdown! I thought he meant that his ass grew fur during a full moon!