Should I buy a lion?

[momosa]

http://abcnews.go.com/news/t/blogEntry?id=18173366

Makes me want to buy one just to scare the shit out of my neighbors......should I ? I am a dog lover already , with two English Bulldogs.......they'd love to play with a lion.

[Biotop]

Get a bunch of lions. You'd be the pride of the neighborhood!

[the_diego]

I prefer a great dane with a head attachment making it look like it has three heads.

[Blackberry]

When in doubt, always err on the side of buying a lion.

[Biotop]

Get a lion. You could have a simba-otic relationship with it.

[Oakminster]

If you do, you shouldn't take it to the beach. That might be considered to be a lion in the sand.

[Shakes]

Originally Posted by momosa

http://abcnews.go.com/news/t/blogEntry?id=18173366

Makes me want to buy one just to scare the shit out of my neighbors......should I ? I am a dog lover already , with two English Bulldogs.......they'd love to play with a lion.

I don't believe any of this. I think you're lion.

[BubbaDog]

I have a Golden-Doodle which has the same basic muppet hair as a Labra-Doodle.

I may try to get the groomer to give the lion-do a shot next time she gets sheared.

[DCnDC]

Paging My Lord...

[Ellen Cherry]

Personally, I think it would be a giant cat-astrophe.

[Floater]

Originally Posted by BubbaDog

I have a Golden-Doodle which has the same basic muppet hair as a Labra-Doodle.

I have to say that a mutt by any other name is still a mutt.

[TriPolar]

I wish Blackjack had longer hair.

[Amateur Barbarian]

My mother bought a lion once. It was a stuffed (as in plushy) mountain lion/female African lion (details were blurry) that was nearly life sized and had a very realistic face and sat upright.

I went to her house one morning to get something and was halfway through the dimly lit living room when my hindbrain suddenly informed me that THERE WAS AN EFFING LION WATCHING ME FROM THE CORNER OF THE ROOM. If I'd been any older than 25, I probably would have dropped dead of a heart attack. As it was, I had to sit, rubber-kneed, for about ten minutes before I could walk again. I never have figured out why it hit me so hard - I'd even seen the stuffie before, just not in that location.

OTOH, a number of years later I was in the zoo when a male lion decided he was unhappy about something, and roared several times. My wife and I still talk about how it made the hair on the back of our necks stand up. I think all humans Remember Africa...

[The Great Sun Jester]

Originally Posted by biotop

get a bunch of lions. You'd be the pride of the neighborhood!

First post FTW.

[Biotop]

I understand a lion can be a good investment. However you will want to make sure it has really nice lush fur. That's the mane thing.

[the_diego]

But wouldn't a lion in winter be bad? Animal rights!

[njtt]

No. Get a gorilla. It is your right as an American.

[Floater]

A found a film clip on a Swedish newspaper site: http://www.dn.se/nyheter/varlden/val...-skapade-panik

[fisha]

When I was growing up, a classmate actually had a lion for a pet. It was old and feeble, chained out in the back yard. Still scared the piss out of me, first time I rounded the corner.

[Skara_Brae]

From the article:

Upon hearing of the lion sightings, the police actually called the Virginia Zoo, making sure the lions were all in place, which they were.

Is anyone else rather curious as to how this conversation went? I mean was it more "Zookeeper, I need a bed check on all your Felis leos ASAP!

Or "Hey, Phil, this is Officer Smith from the NPD...I, uh...I need you to count the lions for me again....Sure, I'll hold."

[Sailboat]

The trick is to get a real lion and shave him down to look like a Labradoodle.

Get him certified as a service animal ("He eats door-to-door salesmen and religious proselytizers for me.")

[Alka Seltzer]

Yes, you should definitely get a lion. But don't make the mistake of keeping in a wardrobe with a witch, it leads to all kinds of friction.

[Revtim]

I recommend Stephen Lynch's latest album 'Lion'.

[Acid Lamp]

CHow-Chow's make the best lions!

[Cicero]

I bless the lions down in Africa.

[Biotop]

My friend had one. Of course the neighbors all complained what with all the noise and antelope carcasses. So he tried to disguise the creature ...with a pair of sunglasses. Unfortunately, Animal Control came and took his big cat away anyway.

Sunglasses? Good grief. Didn't he know you can't hide your lion eyes.

[Cicero]

Eagles will always pick that. Take it easy.

[Musicat]

Originally Posted by BubbaDog

I have a Golden-Doodle which has the same basic muppet hair as a Labra-Doodle.

I may try to get the groomer to give the lion-do a shot next time she gets sheared.

Like this?

[kayaker]

Get two, they're small.

[Telemark]

Originally Posted by Musicat

Like this?

That looks surprisingly similar to the link in the OP.

[Musicat]

Originally Posted by Telemark

That looks surprisingly similar to the link in the OP.

When you've seen one lion, you've seen 'em all. I ain't lion.

[Gary T]

Originally Posted by Alka Seltzer

Yes, you should definitely get a lion. But don't make the mistake of keeping in a wardrobe with a witch, it leads to all kinds of friction.

Friction? I thought it was fiction!

[Gary T]

A man walks into a bar with a giraffe and they proceed to get blitzed. The giraffe drinks so much it passes out on the floor. The man gets up and heads for the door to leave when the bartender yells, "Hey! You can't leave that lyin' there!" The drunk replies...

SPOILER:

"That's not a lion! It's a giraffe."

[Fiendish Astronaut]

Buy a Bengal Tiger and call it Lollipop.

[EmilyG]

These puns make me roar with laughter!

[Biotop]

Originally Posted by Musicat

When you've seen one lion, you've seen 'em all. I ain't lion.

Wow. The lynx some people will go to to make a bad pun!

[TokyoBayer]

Sometimes you wish they would paws and think before they write.

[Biotop]

People who make bad puns about big cats should be required to pay pumative damages.

[EmilyG]

Originally Posted by Biotop

People who make bad puns about big cats should be required to pay pumative damages.

And if they do it serval times, they'll be in an oce-lot of trouble.

[Musicat]

The puns are getting weaker. This thread is becoming a cat-astrophe.

[EmilyG]

Originally Posted by Musicat

The puns are getting weaker. This thread is becoming a cat-astrophe.

Oh, don't have kittens about it.

[Precambrianmollusc]

Originally Posted by EmilyG

Oh, don't have kittens about it.

That was paw

[Oakminster]

Originally Posted by Musicat

The puns are getting weaker. This thread is becoming a cat-astrophe.

But they remain protected speech under the Constitution. Haven't you read the Dew Process Claws?

[Floater]

Originally Posted by Musicat

The puns are getting weaker. This thread is becoming a cat-astrophe.

I don't care. I'm just reading between the lions anyway.

[Biotop]

Originally Posted by Oakminster

But they remain protected speech under the Constitution. Haven't you read the Dew Process Claws?

Ugh. Just dreadful.

Most members of the SDMB can be severe critics, so even long time dopers should not be surprised when we pan-ther awful cat puns.

[EmilyG]

Hey, I think these puns are purrfect. They're the cat's pajamas.

[gytalf2000]

Originally Posted by njtt

No. Get a gorilla. It is your right as an American.

Hilarious! Gotta love the Onion.

[alindallas]

The lion's share of these jokes are quite funny, although a few are real dogs.

[DesertDog]

Originally Posted by njtt

No. Get a gorilla. It is your right as an American.

You're confused, njtt, you have a right to bear arms, not gorillas. It's not clear whether they have to be transplanted* or you can just have a box of bear arms lying around. Or what you do with the rest of the bear.

*Think how cool that would be! You'd never need a can opener again.

[MacLir]

Originally Posted by Skara_Brae

From the article:


Is anyone else rather curious as to how this conversation went? I mean was it more "Zookeeper, I need a bed check on all your Felis leos ASAP!

Or "Hey, Phil, this is Officer Smith from the NPD...I, uh...I need you to count the lions for me again....Sure, I'll hold."

If the keeper is quick, he could respond "All the Felis leo specimens are gone! There's not one in the cages!"


Felis leo has been a disused binomial for over fifty years. Generally speaking, big cats that roar and have round pupils are genus Panthera. Felis cats are smaller, have slit pupils and a complete hyoid bone which will not allow them to roar.
This is why your back fence doesn't sound like the Serengeti.