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  #1  
Old 01-10-2013, 01:28 AM
momosa momosa is offline
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Should I buy a lion?

http://abcnews.go.com/news/t/blogEntry?id=18173366

Makes me want to buy one just to scare the shit out of my neighbors......should I ? I am a dog lover already , with two English Bulldogs.......they'd love to play with a lion.
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  #2  
Old 01-10-2013, 01:40 AM
Biotop Biotop is online now
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Get a bunch of lions. You'd be the pride of the neighborhood!
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  #3  
Old 01-10-2013, 01:40 AM
the_diego the_diego is offline
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I prefer a great dane with a head attachment making it look like it has three heads.
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  #4  
Old 01-10-2013, 01:40 AM
Blackberry Blackberry is offline
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When in doubt, always err on the side of buying a lion.
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  #5  
Old 01-10-2013, 01:44 AM
Biotop Biotop is online now
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Get a lion. You could have a simba-otic relationship with it.
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  #6  
Old 01-10-2013, 02:48 AM
Oakminster Oakminster is offline
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If you do, you shouldn't take it to the beach. That might be considered to be a lion in the sand.
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  #7  
Old 01-10-2013, 08:20 AM
Shakes Shakes is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by momosa View Post
http://abcnews.go.com/news/t/blogEntry?id=18173366

Makes me want to buy one just to scare the shit out of my neighbors......should I ? I am a dog lover already , with two English Bulldogs.......they'd love to play with a lion.
I don't believe any of this. I think you're lion.
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  #8  
Old 01-10-2013, 08:35 AM
BubbaDog BubbaDog is online now
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I have a Golden-Doodle which has the same basic muppet hair as a Labra-Doodle.

I may try to get the groomer to give the lion-do a shot next time she gets sheared.
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  #9  
Old 01-10-2013, 08:35 AM
DCnDC DCnDC is online now
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Paging My Lord...
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  #10  
Old 01-10-2013, 08:43 AM
Ellen Cherry Ellen Cherry is offline
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Personally, I think it would be a giant cat-astrophe.
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  #11  
Old 01-10-2013, 09:07 AM
Floater Floater is offline
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Originally Posted by BubbaDog View Post
I have a Golden-Doodle which has the same basic muppet hair as a Labra-Doodle.
I have to say that a mutt by any other name is still a mutt.
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  #12  
Old 01-10-2013, 09:13 AM
TriPolar TriPolar is offline
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I wish Blackjack had longer hair.
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  #13  
Old 01-10-2013, 10:02 AM
Amateur Barbarian Amateur Barbarian is online now
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My mother bought a lion once. It was a stuffed (as in plushy) mountain lion/female African lion (details were blurry) that was nearly life sized and had a very realistic face and sat upright.

I went to her house one morning to get something and was halfway through the dimly lit living room when my hindbrain suddenly informed me that THERE WAS AN EFFING LION WATCHING ME FROM THE CORNER OF THE ROOM. If I'd been any older than 25, I probably would have dropped dead of a heart attack. As it was, I had to sit, rubber-kneed, for about ten minutes before I could walk again. I never have figured out why it hit me so hard - I'd even seen the stuffie before, just not in that location.

OTOH, a number of years later I was in the zoo when a male lion decided he was unhappy about something, and roared several times. My wife and I still talk about how it made the hair on the back of our necks stand up. I think all humans Remember Africa...

Last edited by Amateur Barbarian; 01-10-2013 at 10:03 AM..
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  #14  
Old 01-10-2013, 10:05 AM
The Great Sun Jester The Great Sun Jester is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by biotop View Post
get a bunch of lions. You'd be the pride of the neighborhood!
First post FTW.

Last edited by The Great Sun Jester; 01-10-2013 at 10:05 AM..
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  #15  
Old 01-10-2013, 03:04 PM
Biotop Biotop is online now
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I understand a lion can be a good investment. However you will want to make sure it has really nice lush fur. That's the mane thing.
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  #16  
Old 01-10-2013, 06:29 PM
the_diego the_diego is offline
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But wouldn't a lion in winter be bad? Animal rights!
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  #17  
Old 01-10-2013, 07:44 PM
njtt njtt is offline
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No. Get a gorilla. It is your right as an American.
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  #18  
Old 01-11-2013, 05:03 AM
Floater Floater is offline
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A found a film clip on a Swedish newspaper site: http://www.dn.se/nyheter/varlden/val...-skapade-panik
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  #19  
Old 01-11-2013, 05:45 AM
fisha fisha is online now
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When I was growing up, a classmate actually had a lion for a pet. It was old and feeble, chained out in the back yard. Still scared the piss out of me, first time I rounded the corner.
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  #20  
Old 01-11-2013, 05:49 AM
Skara_Brae Skara_Brae is offline
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From the article:
Quote:
Upon hearing of the lion sightings, the police actually called the Virginia Zoo, making sure the lions were all in place, which they were.
Is anyone else rather curious as to how this conversation went? I mean was it more "Zookeeper, I need a bed check on all your Felis leos ASAP!

Or "Hey, Phil, this is Officer Smith from the NPD...I, uh...I need you to count the lions for me again....Sure, I'll hold."
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  #21  
Old 01-11-2013, 07:26 AM
Sailboat Sailboat is offline
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The trick is to get a real lion and shave him down to look like a Labradoodle.

Get him certified as a service animal ("He eats door-to-door salesmen and religious proselytizers for me.")
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  #22  
Old 01-11-2013, 07:33 AM
Alka Seltzer Alka Seltzer is offline
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Yes, you should definitely get a lion. But don't make the mistake of keeping in a wardrobe with a witch, it leads to all kinds of friction.
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  #23  
Old 01-11-2013, 08:07 AM
Revtim Revtim is offline
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I recommend Stephen Lynch's latest album 'Lion'.
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  #24  
Old 01-11-2013, 08:49 AM
Acid Lamp Acid Lamp is offline
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CHow-Chow's make the best lions!
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  #25  
Old 01-11-2013, 09:45 AM
Cicero Cicero is offline
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I bless the lions down in Africa.
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  #26  
Old 01-11-2013, 09:49 AM
Biotop Biotop is online now
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My friend had one. Of course the neighbors all complained what with all the noise and antelope carcasses. So he tried to disguise the creature ...with a pair of sunglasses. Unfortunately, Animal Control came and took his big cat away anyway.

Sunglasses? Good grief. Didn't he know you can't hide your lion eyes.

Last edited by Biotop; 01-11-2013 at 09:49 AM..
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  #27  
Old 01-11-2013, 09:51 AM
Cicero Cicero is offline
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Eagles will always pick that. Take it easy.
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  #28  
Old 01-11-2013, 09:57 AM
Musicat Musicat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BubbaDog View Post
I have a Golden-Doodle which has the same basic muppet hair as a Labra-Doodle.

I may try to get the groomer to give the lion-do a shot next time she gets sheared.
Like this?
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  #29  
Old 01-11-2013, 10:55 AM
kayaker kayaker is online now
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Get two, they're small.
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  #30  
Old 01-11-2013, 11:06 AM
Telemark Telemark is online now
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Originally Posted by Musicat View Post
That looks surprisingly similar to the link in the OP.

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  #31  
Old 01-11-2013, 11:36 AM
Musicat Musicat is offline
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Originally Posted by Telemark View Post
That looks surprisingly similar to the link in the OP.

When you've seen one lion, you've seen 'em all. I ain't lion.
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  #32  
Old 01-12-2013, 04:05 PM
Gary T Gary T is offline
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Originally Posted by Alka Seltzer View Post
Yes, you should definitely get a lion. But don't make the mistake of keeping in a wardrobe with a witch, it leads to all kinds of friction.
Friction? I thought it was fiction!
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  #33  
Old 01-12-2013, 04:07 PM
Gary T Gary T is offline
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A man walks into a bar with a giraffe and they proceed to get blitzed. The giraffe drinks so much it passes out on the floor. The man gets up and heads for the door to leave when the bartender yells, "Hey! You can't leave that lyin' there!" The drunk replies...

SPOILER:
"That's not a lion! It's a giraffe."
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  #34  
Old 01-12-2013, 06:48 PM
Fiendish Astronaut Fiendish Astronaut is offline
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Buy a Bengal Tiger and call it Lollipop.
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  #35  
Old 01-12-2013, 08:21 PM
EmilyG EmilyG is offline
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These puns make me roar with laughter!
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  #36  
Old 01-12-2013, 11:35 PM
Biotop Biotop is online now
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Originally Posted by Musicat View Post
When you've seen one lion, you've seen 'em all. I ain't lion.
Wow. The lynx some people will go to to make a bad pun!
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  #37  
Old 01-13-2013, 07:04 AM
TokyoBayer TokyoBayer is offline
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Sometimes you wish they would paws and think before they write.
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  #38  
Old 01-13-2013, 12:05 PM
Biotop Biotop is online now
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People who make bad puns about big cats should be required to pay pumative damages.
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  #39  
Old 01-13-2013, 02:39 PM
EmilyG EmilyG is offline
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Originally Posted by Biotop View Post
People who make bad puns about big cats should be required to pay pumative damages.
And if they do it serval times, they'll be in an oce-lot of trouble.

Last edited by EmilyG; 01-13-2013 at 02:39 PM..
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  #40  
Old 01-13-2013, 02:55 PM
Musicat Musicat is offline
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The puns are getting weaker. This thread is becoming a cat-astrophe.
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  #41  
Old 01-13-2013, 03:46 PM
EmilyG EmilyG is offline
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Originally Posted by Musicat View Post
The puns are getting weaker. This thread is becoming a cat-astrophe.
Oh, don't have kittens about it.
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  #42  
Old 01-14-2013, 12:12 AM
Precambrianmollusc Precambrianmollusc is online now
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Oh, don't have kittens about it.
That was paw
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  #43  
Old 01-14-2013, 12:28 AM
Oakminster Oakminster is offline
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Originally Posted by Musicat View Post
The puns are getting weaker. This thread is becoming a cat-astrophe.
But they remain protected speech under the Constitution. Haven't you read the Dew Process Claws?
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  #44  
Old 01-14-2013, 04:45 AM
Floater Floater is offline
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Originally Posted by Musicat View Post
The puns are getting weaker. This thread is becoming a cat-astrophe.
I don't care. I'm just reading between the lions anyway.
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  #45  
Old 01-14-2013, 08:48 AM
Biotop Biotop is online now
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But they remain protected speech under the Constitution. Haven't you read the Dew Process Claws?
Ugh. Just dreadful.

Most members of the SDMB can be severe critics, so even long time dopers should not be surprised when we pan-ther awful cat puns.
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  #46  
Old 01-14-2013, 10:37 AM
EmilyG EmilyG is offline
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Hey, I think these puns are purrfect. They're the cat's pajamas.
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  #47  
Old 01-14-2013, 12:03 PM
gytalf2000 gytalf2000 is online now
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No. Get a gorilla. It is your right as an American.


Hilarious! Gotta love the Onion.
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  #48  
Old 01-16-2013, 05:45 PM
alindallas alindallas is offline
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The lion's share of these jokes are quite funny, although a few are real dogs.
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  #49  
Old 01-17-2013, 06:49 AM
DesertDog DesertDog is offline
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Originally Posted by njtt View Post
No. Get a gorilla. It is your right as an American.
You're confused, njtt, you have a right to bear arms, not gorillas. It's not clear whether they have to be transplanted* or you can just have a box of bear arms lying around. Or what you do with the rest of the bear.

*Think how cool that would be! You'd never need a can opener again.
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  #50  
Old 01-17-2013, 10:09 AM
MacLir MacLir is offline
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Originally Posted by Skara_Brae View Post
From the article:


Is anyone else rather curious as to how this conversation went? I mean was it more "Zookeeper, I need a bed check on all your Felis leos ASAP!

Or "Hey, Phil, this is Officer Smith from the NPD...I, uh...I need you to count the lions for me again....Sure, I'll hold."
If the keeper is quick, he could respond "All the Felis leo specimens are gone! There's not one in the cages!"


Felis leo has been a disused binomial for over fifty years. Generally speaking, big cats that roar and have round pupils are genus Panthera. Felis cats are smaller, have slit pupils and a complete hyoid bone which will not allow them to roar.
This is why your back fence doesn't sound like the Serengeti.
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