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  #1  
Old 01-26-2013, 12:11 PM
skdo23 skdo23 is offline
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I pit bartenders who do not know how to properly pour a pint of Guinness.

Is it really that hard?
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  #2  
Old 01-26-2013, 12:18 PM
digs digs is offline
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Seems to be, for one of our Irish pubs. Same pub (same name, same owners, presumably same beer) a couple of blocks over does it perfectly... not sure what the issues are at "my" pub. It's the one I can walk to, so I'm not switching just for a good "pull" of Guiness.
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  #3  
Old 01-26-2013, 12:22 PM
Condescending Robot Condescending Robot is offline
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It's marketing nonsense, part of the usual mythologizing of alcohol to hide the fact that you're drinking to get drunk. Yeah, I'm sure the exact height of the glass and pouring in 119.53 seconds (never 199.02! you idiot!) is something that would totally affect the taste in a double-blind experiment

You want to get blitzed, fine, none of my business. But let's not pretend you're drinking a work of art here. It's fucking beer that you can buy at Wal-Mart. Get over it.
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  #4  
Old 01-26-2013, 12:26 PM
saje saje is offline
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Teetotaler, are you?

Yes, people drink just to get drunk. But some of us actually LIKE the taste of beer and wine, and drink it to enjoy it, one or two glasses at most.

Condescending Robot, you are well named.
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  #5  
Old 01-26-2013, 12:28 PM
DrFidelius DrFidelius is online now
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If the bartender makes a little shamrock in the head, you are allowed to stab him in the throat with a fork. In several counties in Ireland this is mandatory.
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  #6  
Old 01-26-2013, 12:37 PM
Peremensoe Peremensoe is offline
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Originally Posted by Condescending Robot View Post
It's marketing nonsense, part of the usual mythologizing of alcohol to hide the fact that you're drinking to get drunk. Yeah, I'm sure the exact height of the glass and pouring in 119.53 seconds (never 199.02! you idiot!) is something that would totally affect the taste in a double-blind experiment

You want to get blitzed, fine, none of my business. But let's not pretend you're drinking a work of art here. It's fucking beer that you can buy at Wal-Mart. Get over it.
Sure, just like cookery is marketing nonsense, part of the usual mythologizing of food to hide the fact that you're eating to get full. Let's not pretend you're eating a work of art here. It's fucking food that you can buy at Wal-Mart.
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  #7  
Old 01-26-2013, 01:16 PM
Robb Robb is offline
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Hand pulled?
You mean leg pulled.
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  #8  
Old 01-26-2013, 01:21 PM
kayaker kayaker is online now
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"Guinness is Good for You".
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  #9  
Old 01-26-2013, 01:42 PM
Cinnamon Imp Cinnamon Imp is offline
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Seconded. And I pit bars who don't take care of their pipes properly so you get a foul tasting pint of Guinness that's travelled through gods knows what festering in the taps
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  #10  
Old 01-26-2013, 02:39 PM
Rhythmdvl Rhythmdvl is offline
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I fucking hate it when I order a Sams and it comes in one of those froofy glasses. I see from the link that Condescending Robot wasn't being facetious--if it's accurate, they really do make their recommendation to the hundredths place. Plus, Guiness is redesigning their pint glasses? Fucking pretentious fucks.

I get the appreciation for Guiness as a beer and basic conventions. Good stuff. But pitting bartenders because they don't "klnow how to properly pour a pint" is hipster crap akin to overpriced speaker wire and a fetish for vinyl records.
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  #11  
Old 01-26-2013, 02:47 PM
kayaker kayaker is online now
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Mmmmm. . .Irish Car Bombs. People still drinking those? A shot, 50/50 Jameson's and Bailey's; dropped into Guinness and chugged. Mmmmmm.
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  #12  
Old 01-26-2013, 03:33 PM
skdo23 skdo23 is offline
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I fucking hate it when I order a Sams and it comes in one of those froofy glasses. I see from the link that Condescending Robot wasn't being facetious--if it's accurate, they really do make their recommendation to the hundredths place. Plus, Guiness is redesigning their pint glasses? Fucking pretentious fucks.

I get the appreciation for Guiness as a beer and basic conventions. Good stuff. But pitting bartenders because they don't "klnow how to properly pour a pint" is hipster crap akin to overpriced speaker wire and a fetish for vinyl records.
To elaborate on my OP, I'm really only complaining about bartenders who are ignorant of the requisite two stage process required to properly pour a pint of Guinness and yes, this makes all the difference in the world.

As far as how long to wait between the two stages, I've never seen the bartender actually time the process. A quick glance to make sure the initial 3/4 pour has settled before topping it off is good enough for me.
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  #13  
Old 01-26-2013, 03:42 PM
Kizzume Kizzume is offline
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"Shaken, not stirred" is all that goes through my mind...
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  #14  
Old 01-26-2013, 03:45 PM
Czarcasm Czarcasm is online now
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Is Coors Light best served in a plastic glass or a paper cup?
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  #15  
Old 01-26-2013, 03:53 PM
Brewah Brewah is offline
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Coors is best served by pouring it down the drain.
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  #16  
Old 01-26-2013, 04:16 PM
black rabbit black rabbit is offline
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I like my Guinness best straight out of the can, from a paper bag, at a location where I'm not technically supposed to be drinking. YMMV.
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  #17  
Old 01-26-2013, 04:23 PM
zoid zoid is offline
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Originally Posted by Condescending Robot View Post
It's marketing nonsense, part of the usual mythologizing of alcohol to hide the fact that you're drinking to get drunk. Yeah, I'm sure the exact height of the glass and pouring in 119.53 seconds (never 199.02! you idiot!) is something that would totally affect the taste in a double-blind experiment

You want to get blitzed, fine, none of my business. But let's not pretend you're drinking a work of art here. It's fucking beer that you can buy at Wal-Mart. Get over it.
Dick.

Yes it does make a difference in taste and in getting the correct head which is a part of the edxperience.

Oh, and one last thing...

You're a dick.
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  #18  
Old 01-26-2013, 04:33 PM
friedo friedo is offline
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Guinness is a good beer but it's extremely overrated. There are a number of superior stouts of all kinds made right here in the USA. And they don't come with mandatory glass shapes or official pour-times with insignificant figures.
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  #19  
Old 01-26-2013, 04:34 PM
friedo friedo is offline
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Dick.

Yes it does make a difference in taste and in getting the correct head which is a part of the edxperience.

Oh, and one last thing...

You're a dick.
It is possible to achieve the correct amount of head without resorting to absurd rituals promulgated by the manufacturer.
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  #20  
Old 01-26-2013, 04:41 PM
zoid zoid is offline
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It is possible to achieve the correct amount of head without resorting to absurd rituals promulgated by the manufacturer.
I don't give a shit how they pour it as long as the end result is correct.
Wave a magic wand, say a prayer, cut the head off a chicken, what ever works.
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  #21  
Old 01-26-2013, 04:44 PM
Rhythmdvl Rhythmdvl is offline
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It is possible to achieve the correct amount of head without resorting to absurd rituals promulgated by the manufacturer.
Bringing your bartender flowers is a good start.


FTR, I probably have over a thousand dollars worth of Scotch on my bar right now. If you're here, I'll serve it in a rocks glass with a small flake of ice. If you want more (or none), so be it. So gripe about a bartender not ensuring a good head on your beer, flatness, or off tastes, that's one thing. Heck, I usually order Scotch chilled into a rocks glass so I don't have to worry about getting it in a strangely shaped glass, so if the special Guiness glass is part of your ritual, so be it.

Liking that is one thing. Bitching about bartenders that don't "know how to pour" and linking to a Wiki page that measures timing in hundredths of a second as if it's essential puts you into a different category.

So STFU and let's meet at a pub.
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  #22  
Old 01-26-2013, 04:47 PM
Musicat Musicat is offline
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Never mind how you pour it, it's how you drink it that counts. One more beer!
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  #23  
Old 01-26-2013, 04:57 PM
An Gadaí An Gadaí is offline
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I've only ever seen the knife thingy done in America but apparently it used to be popular here. Guinness is awful muck and the way Diageo has hijacked Irish culture and history for its own ends sickens me. Fuck Guinness whatever way it's poured. Also it turns your shite black.
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  #24  
Old 01-26-2013, 05:26 PM
zoid zoid is offline
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I've only ever seen the knife thingy done in America but apparently it used to be popular here. Guinness is awful muck and the way Diageo has hijacked Irish culture and history for its own ends sickens me. Fuck Guinness whatever way it's poured. Also it turns your shite black.
How do you feel about Harp or Smithwick's?
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  #25  
Old 01-26-2013, 07:25 PM
An Gadaí An Gadaí is offline
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How do you feel about Harp or Smithwick's?
I'd drink Harp if there was nothing else going and I quite like Smithwick's. Beamish isn't bad either.
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  #26  
Old 01-26-2013, 08:28 PM
PlainJain PlainJain is offline
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Originally Posted by skdo23 View Post
To elaborate on my OP, I'm really only complaining about bartenders who are ignorant of the requisite two stage process required to properly pour a pint of Guinness and yes, this makes all the difference in the world.

As far as how long to wait between the two stages, I've never seen the bartender actually time the process. A quick glance to make sure the initial 3/4 pour has settled before topping it off is good enough for me.
Not a Guinness drinker but I too would be interested to see if that special pour would fly in a blind taste test. I gots to say, I'm skeptical.
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  #27  
Old 01-26-2013, 08:51 PM
Joey P Joey P is online now
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We don't have them in the US, but how would you feel about bartenders using a Surger?
That's using a can of Guinness with no nitrogen and sending ultrasonic waves through it to get the small bubbles.
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  #28  
Old 01-26-2013, 08:52 PM
Saintly Loser Saintly Loser is offline
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Originally Posted by skdo23 View Post
To elaborate on my OP, I'm really only complaining about bartenders who are ignorant of the requisite two stage process required to properly pour a pint of Guinness and yes, this makes all the difference in the world.

As far as how long to wait between the two stages, I've never seen the bartender actually time the process. A quick glance to make sure the initial 3/4 pour has settled before topping it off is good enough for me.
I'm with you. And I'll add that I can't stand bars that chill Guinness until it's too cold to drink.
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  #29  
Old 01-26-2013, 09:44 PM
dropzone dropzone is offline
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Yes it does make a difference in taste and in getting the correct head which is a part of the edxperience.
You found a decent Guinness in Chicago? Usually it's rancid or...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saintly Loser View Post
... I can't stand bars that chill Guinness until it's too cold to drink.
And that was at a ChiDope at a bar with pretentions to Irishness.
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  #30  
Old 01-26-2013, 10:01 PM
Shakes Shakes is offline
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I'm waiting for the bartenders to show up in this thread.

I'm sure they would love the fact that they are being told to spend two minutes pouring some special snowflake's beer.
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  #31  
Old 01-26-2013, 10:22 PM
YourAdHere YourAdHere is offline
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Ha, I'm a bartender and I came in to say exactly that. Do you know how much of a pain things like this are when 15 drunk people are angrily shouting special orders at you ?

You should probably tell the bartender how to do it right for you, especially if it's busy . Make sure not to tip either . Otherwise the bar atmosphere might get too relaxed if things aren't done properly.

Everyone acts like because they could make their special coffee or drink better at home they would naturally be better at working at a coffee shop or bar and making hundreds of different things an hour than the stupid proles who obviously could never sit there and fill out papers like they do.
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  #32  
Old 01-26-2013, 10:30 PM
YourAdHere YourAdHere is offline
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I pit bars that don' t use the proper nitrogen mixture with their guinness. Last time , the ratio was off by a few percentage points and I immediately vomited with rage!

Naturally, I left no tip. That guy's kids dont deserve heat and his seed should be wiped from the earth.

I may not be the customer they want, but I'm the one they NEED. The manager even assured me so when I complained to him again.
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  #33  
Old 01-26-2013, 10:31 PM
SCAdian SCAdian is online now
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I would say that the proper way to pour Guinness is into the toilet.

The same with any other beer.
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  #34  
Old 01-26-2013, 10:32 PM
Saintly Loser Saintly Loser is offline
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Originally Posted by Shakes View Post
I'm waiting for the bartenders to show up in this thread.

I'm sure they would love the fact that they are being told to spend two minutes pouring some special snowflake's beer.
I've been a bartender. It's been a while, but still, I've done it.

It's not that big a deal. You pour the Guinness down the side of the glass until the glass is about 3/4 full. You then walk away and do something else. Serve someone else, if the bar is busy, or clean something. You then come back and top it off. That's all.

The rest of it is all in how the stuff is stored. It really shouldn't be served all that cold. There's some kind of aerator or something in the tap, which makes the beer come out properly fizzy (or actually not-fizzy, for Guinness).

Not a big thing at all. Not just for "special snowflakes."
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  #35  
Old 01-26-2013, 10:34 PM
dogbutler dogbutler is offline
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I'd drink Harp if there was nothing else going and I quite like Smithwick's. Beamish isn't bad either.
I like Beamish, it's just hard to find these days.
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  #36  
Old 01-26-2013, 10:59 PM
waterj2 waterj2 is offline
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I would say that the proper way to pour Guinness is into the toilet.

The same with any other beer.
Shit, it's a good thing you decided to post in this thread. Here I was, liking beer until you set me straight. It's a good thing you didn't skip this just because it concerns something you have no interest in. I would have kept enjoying beer, oblivious to the fact that you hate it, for who knows how long. That could've gotten embarrassing. Thanks.
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  #37  
Old 01-26-2013, 11:04 PM
bump bump is online now
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I've had more than my fair share of Guinness, both regular (US, UK, Italy) and "extra cold" (in the UK), and honestly, I'd rather them not dick around with producing too much head, on the theory that the head takes up space in the glass that could better be used for liquid beer.

It just doesn't make much of a difference really... having had many a pint done right, and many a pint without much head.
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  #38  
Old 01-26-2013, 11:31 PM
waterj2 waterj2 is offline
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I've had more than my fair share of Guinness, both regular (US, UK, Italy) and "extra cold" (in the UK), and honestly, I'd rather them not dick around with producing too much head, on the theory that the head takes up space in the glass that could better be used for liquid beer.

It just doesn't make much of a difference really... having had many a pint done right, and many a pint without much head.
I think the whole thing with the two-step pour is to let the head settle, so that you have room to add more beer. The other option to get to the same level of liquid beer and head in the glass would be to keep pouring beer in as the head overflows. If there's not much head, I'm thinking it's less carbonated (err, nitrogenated?) or a bunch of head was spilled out, not that it was poured sloppily. That would probably result in more head. I think.
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  #39  
Old 01-26-2013, 11:38 PM
Inner Stickler Inner Stickler is online now
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Originally Posted by skdo23 View Post
Don't be obnoxious.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Peremensoe View Post
Sure, just like cookery is marketing nonsense, part of the usual mythologizing of food to hide the fact that you're eating to get full. Let's not pretend you're eating a work of art here. It's fucking food that you can buy at Wal-Mart.
Don't be thick.


Edit: And a special link just for SCAdian.

Last edited by Inner Stickler; 01-26-2013 at 11:41 PM..
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  #40  
Old 01-26-2013, 11:41 PM
SCAdian SCAdian is online now
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I would say that the proper way to pour Guinness is into the toilet.

The same with any other beer.
Quote:
Originally Posted by waterj2 View Post
Shit, it's a good thing you decided to post in this thread. Here I was, liking beer until you set me straight. It's a good thing you didn't skip this just because it concerns something you have no interest in. I would have kept enjoying beer, oblivious to the fact that you hate it, for who knows how long. That could've gotten embarrassing. Thanks.
Happy to be of service.

Besides, it was easier than opening a whole new thread to pit that disgusting, foul, unfit-for-human-consumption swill known as beer (the potable equivalent of Brussels sprouts).
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  #41  
Old 01-26-2013, 11:49 PM
Guinastasia Guinastasia is offline
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I would say that the proper way to pour Guinness is into the toilet.

The same with any other beer.
It'll get there eventually -- what's your hurry?
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  #42  
Old 01-27-2013, 01:12 AM
Blank Slate Blank Slate is online now
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I worked as a bartender in an English pub for a few months when I was 18. I was just thrown back there and expected to deal with whatever. Mostly, it was simple: rum and coke, gin and tonic, pint of lager, half of bitter, measure of scotch, easy stuff. Nobody ever asked for sex on the beach or a harvey wallbanger.

But the Guinness pour was nerve-wracking. Those fuckers would just stare and stare, waiting for me to fuck it up somehow. But I learned, and it does make a difference. Should be a basic for any competent bartender, if they're selling the stuff.
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  #43  
Old 01-27-2013, 05:28 AM
Monty Monty is offline
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It'll get there eventually -- what's your hurry?
Well, if it's Coors or Budweiser, it's already there, just canned.
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  #44  
Old 01-27-2013, 06:11 AM
Malacandra Malacandra is online now
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It is possible to achieve the correct amount of head without resorting to absurd rituals promulgated by the manufacturer.
That's what I keep telling her, but nooo......
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  #45  
Old 01-27-2013, 08:08 AM
kayaker kayaker is online now
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Originally Posted by Condescending Robot View Post
It's marketing nonsense, part of the usual mythologizing of alcohol to hide the fact that you're drinking to get drunk. Yeah, I'm sure the exact height of the glass and pouring in 119.53 seconds (never 199.02! you idiot!) is something that would totally affect the taste in a double-blind experiment

You want to get blitzed, fine, none of my business. But let's not pretend you're drinking a work of art here. It's fucking beer that you can buy at Wal-Mart. Get over it.
It takes a big man to threadshit in a beer thread. Just sayin.
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  #46  
Old 01-27-2013, 08:38 AM
Shoujin Shoujin is offline
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Just pour me this and I'll be ok
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  #47  
Old 01-27-2013, 10:58 AM
silenus silenus is offline
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It takes a big man to threadshit in a beer thread. Just sayin.
Big asshole, you mean. I've never seen CR post anything worthwhile yet, and I doubt I ever will. In the words of Gunny Hartman, the best part of him ran down his mama's leg.
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  #48  
Old 01-27-2013, 11:27 AM
FoieGrasIsEvil FoieGrasIsEvil is offline
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Originally Posted by Peremensoe View Post
Sure, just like cookery is marketing nonsense, part of the usual mythologizing of food to hide the fact that you're eating to get full. Let's not pretend you're eating a work of art here. It's fucking food that you can buy at Wal-Mart.
Guinness is food.

Last edited by FoieGrasIsEvil; 01-27-2013 at 11:27 AM..
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  #49  
Old 01-27-2013, 01:07 PM
Guinastasia Guinastasia is offline
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Well, if it's Coors or Budweiser, it's already there, just canned.
Hmmm, true.

My dad has a recipe for bread that's just beer and flower. Damn, it's good.

Last edited by Guinastasia; 01-27-2013 at 01:08 PM..
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  #50  
Old 01-27-2013, 01:20 PM
Cinnamon Imp Cinnamon Imp is offline
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the head takes up space in the glass that could better be used for liquid beer.
Hell yeah. Now I'm thirsty
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