It could be anything - sense of humor, intelligence, happy n smiling personality, confidence, money, helpful nature, humility, looks, body etc etc…
Please tell.
I’ll mention one that many people probably don’t think about - a pleasing voice and laugh.
I often hear women with teeth-grindingly unpleasant voices and horrible harpy guffaws or shrieky giggles. It’d take a lot of good qualities to overcome such handicaps and live with such a person every day.
Fortunately Mrs. J. scores extremely well on the pleasing voice and laugh scale.
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To genuinely put my happiness ahead of her own. Making me happy makes her happy. Since I feel the same way about her, we both enjoy making each other happy.
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The ability to work out problems without resorting to fighting and arguing.
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Great blow jobs.
Not necessarily in that order, eh? 
- Intelligent
- Young at heart
- Young around the ass area
Hmm.
1: They should share enough of my interests that we can do things together, discuss things of actual interest to both of us, and have interesting and engaging discussions and arguments about them. I wouldn’t want either of us to have to learn to like each others’ interests, since that often just doesn’t work out; I refuse to force myself to try to gain interest in things I don’t care about, and I wouldn’t want someone else to try to force themselves to for my sake.
2: The ability to both accept my honest opinions and criticisms without getting defensive or offended, and to make criticisms and give me honest opinions. I don’t want to have to tell them what they want to hear, and I don’t want them to tell me what I want to hear.
3: They need to be physically attractive. Not talking movie star/magazine attractive, and I know I’m not exactly a superstar myself, but looks do matter. Personality, intelligence, etc, is all important, but so is appearance. I need to actively like looking at them, listening to them, and so on.
Kindness
Intelligence
Passion (zest for life, intensity)
Similar values
Intelligence
Kindness
very nice. keep the replies coming .
For me, number 1 is kindness. someone who is always looking to help others and make others smile.
Number 2 would be similarity of interests.
It may sound odd, but number 3 is being spiritual. having a perspective that self-realization should be the ultimate aim of life. She shouldn’t seek pleasures only in worldly things and worldly possessions .
And if she is jovial, fun and carries a smile on the face, then that would be great. Otherwise, she will become like that with me.
I tend to focus less on physical features. Earlier it used to be different, my preferences have changed as I’ve grown older.
Pleasant to look at/talk to. Because I’ll be doing that for the rest of my life.
Respects me. That means that she is at least willing to consider that my opinion might be valid before assuming I am wrong or motivated by ill will. Saves a lot of fighting when we give each other the benefit of the doubt.
Laughs at my humor. Because life is one pratfall after another.
Found her and she knows how to cook and to work a washing machine for double bonus points. The search is long over.
For me, the number one most important thing is: Do I enjoy spending lots of time with them? In other words, are they my best friend. Sex, attraction, all that stuff comes and goes throughout a relationship (i.e., there are times it’s at the forefront, and times it takes a back seat), but if you cant’ stand being with someone for extended periods of time, the relationship is doomed to failure.
I’ve been extremely close friends with my wife for over 20 years, and we’ve been married close to 10 now. (We’d been friends for years and years before we dated). We love spending time together, and while we still have a good intimate relationship, it’s far less important than the fact that I still like hanging out with her.
Of course, the above incorporates kindness, sense of humor, common interests, etc, but it’s really necessary for those things to coalesce into a very solid friendship for them to work. If I love a woman’s sense of humor, but we don’t enjoy doing anything together, it’s not going to last long.
Second would be trust: can I go out with the guys or out of town on business for a week and have her not come back questioning me, or me having doubts about her. If I can’t trust her when we’re apart and she can’t trust me…again, it’s doomed. I could never deal with a jealous spouse/partner/girlfriend. Would drive me up a wall. If I’m committed to you, I’m committed…don’t worry about it. If that trust can’t be there, it’s not going to work. (and, this of course has to be backed up by behavior that allows both to trust).
Third would be attraction. It does matter, and the physical, intimate part of a relationship is important, though it’s not as important as the other two. Also, if point 1 is strong, I’m probably going to be attracted to you anyway, but there has to be some physical connection too.
I’ve been lucky enough to have had two women that met these in my life. My college girlfriend, who I was with for 5 years…we had a very solid relationship, but we wanted different things in life, and eventually, I saw that resentment for one of us having to give up those things would have eventually destroyed the relationship. And, of course, my wife, who makes me so glad that it didn’t work out with my college girlfriend because I get all of the above and didn’t have to compromise my ultimate goal (having kids…being a dad is the most important and best thing I’ve ever done with my life).
Smart, funny, attractive.
I’d assume loyalty as the paramount relationship criterion, since I see so many single, older people with emotionally-guarded looks on their faces, out walking their dogs.
Without reading the other comments:
- Sense of humor
- Intelligence is way less important than critical thinking
- Fiscally responsible
Looks and stuff are so unimportant. I mean, I don’t want a troglodyte, and my man is handsome enough, but as long as he looks decent, who cares? I intend to grow old with this man. We’re both going to get wrinkles and saggy butts together…but if we can still laugh when we’re 80 like we do now, then who cares about anything else?
- Honest/Trustworthy. I could not live with someone I couldn’t trust, spouse or otherwise.
- Compatible spiritual beliefs. Since beliefs set the tone for lifestyle, I don’t think I could live with someone who had a vastly different spiritual viewpoint.
- Generally positive outlook. I couldn’t abide an Eeyore or perennial victim. I believe that life is 10% circumstance and 90% your reaction to circumstance. Everyone has bad days, but generally my spouse should be (and is!) upbeat and happy in spite of what is going on around us.
Kindness and intelligence, foremost. The third item is negotiable.
This sort of describes my Labrador retriever.
She’s honest (no hidden agendas), has a wildly positive attitude and we both worship the dinner bowl, so our spiritual beliefs are compatible. And then there’s loyalty.
I just wish she’d bathe more often.
We have to be comfortable around each other.
We have to like spending time together.
We have to respect each other.
A big butt
A smile
Trustworthiness
Has job/can take care of themselves
Physical attractiveness
Sense of humor