Old 04-06-2013, 12:13 AM
Derleth is online now
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Missoula, Montana, USA
Posts: 21,038

Apollo 10: "Here's another goddam turd"

Or, A Crappy Day On The Apollo 10 Mission

So here's something nobody tells you about the brave Apollo 10 astronauts: They apparently spent some time chasing loose shit around their space craft. This PDF of the radio transcript is apparently unedited; it is 506 pages long and has to be one of the few official products of NASA to contain the exact string "goddam turd":
Originally Posted by page 366
05 05 23 52 CDR [STAFFORD] (Laughter) Have you got the turd?
05 05 23 53 CMP [YOUNG] - - ... the stuff. You got a big mess. People are mad at you.
05 05 23 58 CDR (Laughter)
05 05 24 03 CMP And I don't blame them.
05 05 24 14 CDR (Laughter) Dadgum, I still think it's funny, putting that load in ... Hey, Joe. You ought to get a little award from the ... for that one.
05 05 24 25 LMP [CERNAN] Yes.
05 05 24 27 CDR (Laughter)
05 05 24 31 LMP By God, the ... would be the first time - the first free crap in space.
Originally Posted by page 421
05 13 38 29 LMP They said on 135. They told us that - Here's another goddam turd. What's the matter with you guys? Here, give me a -
05 13 38 37 CDR/CMP (Laughter)
05 13 38 39 LMP Well, babe, if it was me, I sure would know I was shitting on the floor.
05 13 38 43 CDR It was just floating around?
05 13 38 45 LMP Yes.
05 13 38 47 CDR (Laughter) Mine was sticker than that.
05 13 38 52 CMP Mine was too. It hit that bag --
05 13 38 53 LMP When I stuck my finger in mine - mine was too soft. God dang.
05 13 39 01 CDR (Laughter)
05 13 39 03 LMP (Laughter) I don't know whose that is. I can neither claim it nor disclaim it (laughter).
05 13 39 09 CMP What the hell is going on in here?
05 13 39 10 LMP I don't know. I - that's what I was up against when - (laughter) - After Tom stuck his in there, I figured, Jesus, how-
05 13 39 22 CMP Something wrong there. We're going to have to get all that crap out. It's supposed to go clean back over that ... there.
The Distractions In Space Tumblr has more somewhat similar to this. Some of it doesn't involve free-floating feces! (Imagine that!)
"Ridicule is the only weapon that can be used against unintelligible propositions. Ideas must be distinct before reason can act upon them."
If you don't stop to analyze the snot spray, you are missing that which is best in life. - Miller
I'm not sure why this is, but I actually find this idea grosser than cannibalism. - Excalibre, after reading one of my surefire million-seller business plans.
Old 04-06-2013, 12:48 AM
iftheresaway is offline
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 900
This is what I learned from Mary Roach's Packing for Mars - How much of space exploration s about poop containment. An amazing book, by the way.
Old 04-06-2013, 11:33 AM
Zebra is offline
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: LIC
Posts: 20,679
Ron Howard's next film?
Old 04-06-2013, 11:34 AM
EmilyG's Avatar
EmilyG is offline
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Montreal
Posts: 8,622
I'd like to know how exactly the turds, shall we say, got loose.
Old 04-06-2013, 11:42 AM
davidm's Avatar
davidm is offline
Charter Member
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Near Philadelphia PA, USA
Posts: 12,313
If you think about it, this kind of problem was probably inevitable in zero g with no toilet. You try to hit the bag but it seems like there are bound to be mishaps.

I think the ISS has one or more toilets that use a vacuum to prevent this kind of thing but putting such a thing in an Apollo command module or a LEM would probably be out of the question.
Old 04-06-2013, 12:11 PM
standingwave is offline
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,084
Oh gravity (or lack thereof), thou art a heartless bitch.

Last edited by standingwave; 04-06-2013 at 12:12 PM.
Old 04-08-2013, 10:11 AM
mlees is offline
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: San Diego
Posts: 7,528
One little push for man, one giant turd for mankind.
Old 04-08-2013, 03:33 PM
Voyager's Avatar
Voyager is offline
Charter Member
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Deep Space
Posts: 45,303
When I was in college I visited NASA with a guy who was on a lot of the recovery teams for Mercury and Gemini. He said that when they opened up the hatch of one of the long term Gemini missions it smelled like, well like shit. Really, really intense shit.

BTW, when I visited the bathroom of the visitors area of the Huntsville, AL NASA facility had an exhibit about the waste system of spacesuits. The world's most interesting bathroom, with the possible exception of the one at the Madonna Inn.
Old 04-08-2013, 03:39 PM
tdn is offline
Join Date: Feb 2000
Posts: 35,871
Wow. We can put a man on the Moon, but we can't contain a gravity-defying turd.

That should be NASA's new motto.
Old 04-08-2013, 04:08 PM
mlees is offline
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: San Diego
Posts: 7,528
I was curious as to when zip-loc type bags were developed. Mid 50's, I think.
Old 04-08-2013, 04:38 PM
Yllaria is offline
Charter Member
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Stockton
Posts: 10,674
Originally Posted by iftheresaway View Post
This is what I learned from Mary Roach's Packing for Mars - How much of space exploration s about poop containment. An amazing book, by the way.
I agree. I'm remembering a description of a toilet that used air currents to help the excreta head down a tube to a holding tank. Unfortunately, the air made a vortex in the tank. Some to most of what was excreted would eventually touch the sides of the tank and freeze in place. Anything that kept riding the vortex had the possibility of coming back up the tube when it was opened, in the manner of a ping pong ball in a lottery machine. So a past success could turn into a failure later.

And don't ask about the dreaded 'decapitation'.
Old 04-08-2013, 04:46 PM
CapnPitt is offline
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: NW PA
Posts: 1,755
That's just awesome!
Old 04-08-2013, 08:40 PM
Cartooniverse is offline
Charter Member
Join Date: Oct 1999
Location: Betwixt My Ears
Posts: 12,475
' Houston, we have a movement '


Why can't men read instructions??
Old 04-09-2013, 09:29 AM
Cinnamon Imp is offline
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Strathclyde, UK
Posts: 2,497
That's what happens when they let Wolowitz design the toilets.
Old 04-09-2013, 09:52 AM
Colophon is offline
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Hampshire, England
Posts: 13,544
Apparently they didn't think much of the moon maps they were supplied with, either!

05 00 01 51 CMP Boy, this is sure a crummy map.

5 O0 14 32 LMP This is the worst map I ever saw in my life.

05 14 13 12 CMP Shit, this freaking map is worthless!

05 l4 17 1 CMP This map is sh - crappy!



Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:07 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@straightdope.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Copyright 2018 STM Reader, LLC.

Copyright © 2017