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  #101  
Old 04-30-2013, 06:57 AM
MsWhatsit MsWhatsit is offline
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Originally Posted by Infovore View Post
Babies'll do that too, if they get hungry enough.
Well, they WOULD, if they had any teeth.
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  #102  
Old 04-30-2013, 07:14 AM
Patty O'Furniture Patty O'Furniture is offline
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How do you get that? My point was that people who pretend (and yes, it is pretending) that they're their pets' parents is something that is mildly offensive because it trivializes actual parenting.
This is the same stupid justification that opponents of gay marriage use. "You can't use my label on your thing because that will somehow make my thing less valuable/important/sanctimonious/whatever".
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  #103  
Old 04-30-2013, 10:13 AM
Infovore Infovore is offline
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Originally Posted by MsWhatsit View Post
Well, they WOULD, if they had any teeth.
Never underestimate the power of truly motivated gums.

Remember, all they have to do is get through that first layer of skin, and then there's all that soft stuff underneath.

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  #104  
Old 04-30-2013, 10:33 AM
chargerrich chargerrich is offline
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Why do we spend exorbitant amounts of money trying to save preemie babies, or babies born with severe handicaps? There are lots of babies and kids who are in the foster system just waiting for a family to love them. And, after all, it just takes a year to have another baby yourself, in most cases.
That anyone would even attempt to compare a dying dog to a premature baby is disturbing and speak volumes for the point made by the OP.
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  #105  
Old 04-30-2013, 10:40 AM
sparky! sparky! is offline
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That anyone would even attempt to compare a dying dog to a premature baby is disturbing and speak volumes for the point made by the OP.
+1
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  #106  
Old 04-30-2013, 11:17 AM
drewtwo99 drewtwo99 is offline
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This is the drowning panda vs drowning infant debate all over again, isn't it? Just with a different name?

Let's move this thread to the pit already and really get crackin'.
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  #107  
Old 04-30-2013, 11:26 AM
Shodan Shodan is offline
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Okay, I won't call my dog my baby anymore.

Can I still call him my widdle woochy-smoochy-poochy?

Regards,
Shodan
Purveyer of Treats, Walks, and Belly Scritchers since 2011
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  #108  
Old 04-30-2013, 12:52 PM
Vinyl Turnip Vinyl Turnip is offline
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Originally Posted by Lynn Bodoni View Post
Eh, one of my cats makes a vocalization that sounds just like Mama. Good enough? She's very smart, she said it accidentally, I made a big fuss about it, and now she says it when she wants attention. She hasn't managed to say Daddy yet.
Has your cat been around any Spanish-speakers or have you left the TV on Univision while she's in the room? She could be attempting to say (in rough translation, as befitting a cat's abilities) "suck on this!" Which, admittedly, is somewhat less endearing.
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  #109  
Old 04-30-2013, 01:04 PM
bump bump is offline
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Originally Posted by Patty O'Furniture View Post
This is the same stupid justification that opponents of gay marriage use. "You can't use my label on your thing because that will somehow make my thing less valuable/important/sanctimonious/whatever".
It's just as hard, if not harder to raise a child if you're gay, and just as easy to own a pet if you're gay as if you're straight.

My point was that being the parent of a child is exhausting, stressful, and intense in a way that having a dog or cat just isn't.

Saying you're the dog's parents is about as stupid and foolish as your boss at a civilian job calling themselves your "commanding officer", because being a commanding officer in the military often comes with life or death responsibilities that civilian managers rarely if ever have to deal with.

That's what I'm getting at- having a pet and calling yourself it's "parent" is much the same kind of thing- a cutesy, foolish and insulting thing to do to people who have children.
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  #110  
Old 04-30-2013, 01:08 PM
Tequila Party Tequila Party is offline
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Parenthood is SERIOUS BUSINESS! If not, you are doing it WRONG!

Last edited by Tequila Party; 04-30-2013 at 01:08 PM..
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  #111  
Old 04-30-2013, 02:00 PM
Skara_Brae Skara_Brae is offline
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Originally Posted by bump View Post
It's just as hard, if not harder to raise a child if you're gay, and just as easy to own a pet if you're gay as if you're straight.

My point was that being the parent of a child is exhausting, stressful, and intense in a way that having a dog or cat just isn't.

Saying you're the dog's parents is about as stupid and foolish as your boss at a civilian job calling themselves your "commanding officer", because being a commanding officer in the military often comes with life or death responsibilities that civilian managers rarely if ever have to deal with.

That's what I'm getting at- having a pet and calling yourself it's "parent" is much the same kind of thing- a cutesy, foolish and insulting thing to do to people who have children.
Why are you so wrapped up in what people call their pets? Does it really take anything away from what you do as a parent? You know its not the same thing (and I am sure most pet owners know that too...) It really seems like you want to rub their faces in the fact that you are better than they are...

You remind me of this guy.
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  #112  
Old 04-30-2013, 02:03 PM
Guinastasia Guinastasia is online now
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My point was that being the parent of a child is exhausting, stressful, and intense in a way that having a dog or cat just isn't.
What do you want, a cookie?
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  #113  
Old 04-30-2013, 02:08 PM
Spice Weasel Spice Weasel is offline
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Saying you're the dog's parents is about as stupid and foolish as your boss at a civilian job calling themselves your "commanding officer", because being a commanding officer in the military often comes with life or death responsibilities that civilian managers rarely if ever have to deal with.
Really? I can't fathom anyone being offended by a boss calling himself a commanding officer. I mean, other than a person who takes themselves wayyyy too seriously.

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That's what I'm getting at- having a pet and calling yourself it's "parent" is much the same kind of thing- a cutesy, foolish and insulting thing to do to people who have children.
No, it isn't. It's only insulting to people who are insecure about how they are viewed as parents. It sounds like you are one such person, perhaps because you have invalidating friends. I'm sure your choice to become a parent has resulted in a lot of stress, but that has fuck-all to do with my choice of affectionate terminology for my cat. For one thing, not all babies and parents are human, you know. Does this offend you too?

Nobody is setting out to make any kind of specific statement about what your parenting experience is like, but you are bending over backward to decide what the pet ownership experience should be like. You came out swinging, essentially implying that people without children are a drain on society, and are surprised that you are getting push-back? Come on. Having a child is an inherently selfish decision. There's nothing wrong with that, but it's not like some higher calling - from a purely utilitarian perspective, it's an inefficient use of human resources. It's something you do because you want to do it, because you find meaning in it and your life is better for it. That's the only reason anybody ever does anything, and if they tell you otherwise, they are lying.
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  #114  
Old 04-30-2013, 02:15 PM
MsWhatsit MsWhatsit is offline
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Originally Posted by bump View Post

That's what I'm getting at- having a pet and calling yourself it's "parent" is much the same kind of thing- a cutesy, foolish and insulting thing to do to people who have children.
As a person who has children, I would like to just say that this does not insult me in the slightest. WTF do I care what someone calls their pet? (As long as they don't call it a "furkid" where I can hear them, because that just skeeves me out. But it's not insulting. Just skeevy.)
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  #115  
Old 04-30-2013, 02:33 PM
Long Time First Time Long Time First Time is offline
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Agree about the fur baby thing -it's creepy. Perhaps because it invites someone to extend the fur - to other human relationships. If I met someone who had a dog, and they introduced it to me as their Fur-Husband or Fur-Wife.... well, it would really creep me out.


I'm a large animal veterinarian, and it sort of creeps me out when horse owners kiss their horses while I'm examining them or working on them. I would never say anything, but it strikes me as pretty gross.
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  #116  
Old 04-30-2013, 02:43 PM
Infovore Infovore is offline
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Originally Posted by Long Time First Time View Post
I'm a large animal veterinarian, and it sort of creeps me out when horse owners kiss their horses while I'm examining them or working on them. I would never say anything, but it strikes me as pretty gross.
Eh, I don't see anything wrong with it, and I'm not even a horse person. Unless it's on the lips, of course. Then it's totally creepy.
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  #117  
Old 04-30-2013, 03:49 PM
lorene lorene is offline
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Originally Posted by monstro View Post
Think of it this way. Pets keep up childfree people happy and content enough so they'll cover for folks at work when there are schools emergencies, dance recitals, family trips to Disney world, or the ever popular maternity leave.
Because all people who have kids are slackers who'll use any old child-related excuse to skip out of work, and all pet owners are ever-ready and willing to jump in and shoulder all of the burden?
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  #118  
Old 04-30-2013, 04:13 PM
bump bump is offline
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Originally Posted by olivesmarch4th View Post
No, it isn't. It's only insulting to people who are insecure about how they are viewed as parents. It sounds like you are one such person, perhaps because you have invalidating friends. I'm sure your choice to become a parent has resulted in a lot of stress, but that has fuck-all to do with my choice of affectionate terminology for my cat. For one thing, not all babies and parents are human, you know. Does this offend you too?

Nobody is setting out to make any kind of specific statement about what your parenting experience is like, but you are bending over backward to decide what the pet ownership experience should be like. You came out swinging, essentially implying that people without children are a drain on society, and are surprised that you are getting push-back? Come on. Having a child is an inherently selfish decision. There's nothing wrong with that, but it's not like some higher calling - from a purely utilitarian perspective, it's an inefficient use of human resources. It's something you do because you want to do it, because you find meaning in it and your life is better for it. That's the only reason anybody ever does anything, and if they tell you otherwise, they are lying.
I'm probably overreacting, but it's just one of those things that irks the shit out of me when I'm out with people and someone leaves early or doesn't show because of "their babies", when they're really referring to their dogs. They're not babies, and they're not even really comparable. It's the language that gets me, not the fact that they love their pets. Had they said their dogs' names or "the dogs" then it wouldn't have bothered me in the least, but calling them "the kids" or "our babies" just irks me and strikes me as more than a little pathetic, like they're playing make-believe parents with a dog or something. If they did the same thing with a doll, we'd think they were insane, but substitute a dog, and it's all ok and normal, right?
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  #119  
Old 04-30-2013, 04:25 PM
Skara_Brae Skara_Brae is offline
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If they're so pathetic, shouldn't they have your pity, rather than your scorn?
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  #120  
Old 04-30-2013, 04:30 PM
Spice Weasel Spice Weasel is offline
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Originally Posted by bump View Post
Had they said their dogs' names or "the dogs" then it wouldn't have bothered me in the least, but calling them "the kids" or "our babies" just irks me and strikes me as more than a little pathetic, like they're playing make-believe parents with a dog or something. If they did the same thing with a doll, we'd think they were insane, but substitute a dog, and it's all ok and normal, right?
Well, I dunno about that. It seems to me there is a qualitative difference between a non-sentient toy and a living, breathing thing that has some semblance of a personality and an emotional life. (I really have no idea how my cat perceives me. I could be his sun and moon or I could be warm furniture. The truth is most likely somewhere in between. That mystery is part of the joy of pet ownership.)

Like I said, I know there are people who really think their pets are kids, and I don't get it. But I don't think it's fair to assume that every person who uses this kind of language is crazy like that.
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  #121  
Old 04-30-2013, 04:36 PM
Skara_Brae Skara_Brae is offline
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Originally Posted by bump View Post
I'm probably overreacting, but it's just one of those things that irks the shit out of me when I'm out with people and someone leaves early or doesn't show because of "their babies", when they're really referring to their dogs. They're not babies, and they're not even really comparable. It's the language that gets me, not the fact that they love their pets. Had they said their dogs' names or "the dogs" then it wouldn't have bothered me in the least, but calling them "the kids" or "our babies" just irks me and strikes me as more than a little pathetic, like they're playing make-believe parents with a dog or something. If they did the same thing with a doll, we'd think they were insane, but substitute a dog, and it's all ok and normal, right?
My parents, who raised two actual (and now grown) children, still call their dogs their babies. In fact, I get updates on my "little brother," aka the puppy, all the time.

They love their dogs. They, of course, love my (human) sister and myself more, but why shouldn't they be able to call their dogs whatever they want? Because some parents dissaprove?
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  #122  
Old 04-30-2013, 05:44 PM
bump bump is offline
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Originally Posted by Skara_Brae View Post
If they're so pathetic, shouldn't they have your pity, rather than your scorn?
It was a tossup whether to use the term "pathetic" or "pitiful", actually.
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  #123  
Old 04-30-2013, 06:05 PM
Helena330 Helena330 is offline
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Originally Posted by bump View Post
It's just as hard, if not harder to raise a child if you're gay, and just as easy to own a pet if you're gay as if you're straight.

My point was that being the parent of a child is exhausting, stressful, and intense in a way that having a dog or cat just isn't.

Saying you're the dog's parents is about as stupid and foolish as your boss at a civilian job calling themselves your "commanding officer", because being a commanding officer in the military often comes with life or death responsibilities that civilian managers rarely if ever have to deal with.

That's what I'm getting at- having a pet and calling yourself it's "parent" is much the same kind of thing- a cutesy, foolish and insulting thing to do to people who have children.
I'm guessing most people can distinguish the difference.

A lot of people have very close bonds with their animals. No one else has a right to judge that. It's not hurting anyone in this thread if they call themselves their pets' parents.

Really, I can't believe this is even an issue. People will take offense at anything.
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  #124  
Old 04-30-2013, 06:26 PM
DiosaBellissima DiosaBellissima is offline
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Originally Posted by Skara_Brae View Post
They, of course, love my (human) sister and myself more
You sure about that? I mean, have you checked the will lately?
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  #125  
Old 04-30-2013, 07:23 PM
Lynn Bodoni Lynn Bodoni is offline
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Originally Posted by chargerrich View Post
That anyone would even attempt to compare a dying dog to a premature baby is disturbing and speak volumes for the point made by the OP.
Whoosh!

My point was that neither babies nor pets are interchangeable. There are plenty of available replacements, but none will truly take another's place. I've only had one child. If she had died in infancy or childhood, I very much doubt that my husband and I would have been able to instantly take in another child and be consoled. We would mourn our daughter forever, whether we ever had another child. I've had quite a few pets over the years. When they die, yes, I usually get another pet of the same species in a few months...but not as a replacement. It's not right to put a pet down just because it's a nuisance. It's quite another thing to put down a pet that's suffering and that really won't get better.

When one of my sisters died (of leukemia when she was a year old), many people tried to console my parents by telling them that they could always have another baby. Needless to say, my parents didn't find this very comforting. They did eventually go on to have two more children, but neither of those kids was a replacement for my dead sister. My brother was born 3 months premature, when it was almost unheard of for preemies that small to survive. My parents ran up a huge bill, but Johnny pulled through. My parents thought that heroic measures were called for, because there was a chance that he could pull through and live a full life. However, when my parents went into a nursing home, my father gave instructions that they didn't want any heroic measures taken, as they were in their 70s and not in good health. Mama has Alzheimer's, so couldn't give such instructions herself. My father was of the opinion that heroic measures were likely to be ineffective and just prolong the suffering.

Yes, humans and non-humans are different, and we have different standards for their care...but it's still possible to be extremely attached to one particular individual, and to say "Just get another one and get over the first one" is pretty callous, in my opinion.
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  #126  
Old 04-30-2013, 08:30 PM
ZipperJJ ZipperJJ is online now
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Originally Posted by bump View Post
I'm probably overreacting, but it's just one of those things that irks the shit out of me when I'm out with people and someone leaves early or doesn't show because of "their babies", when they're really referring to their dogs. They're not babies, and they're not even really comparable. It's the language that gets me, not the fact that they love their pets. Had they said their dogs' names or "the dogs" then it wouldn't have bothered me in the least, but calling them "the kids" or "our babies" just irks me and strikes me as more than a little pathetic, like they're playing make-believe parents with a dog or something. If they did the same thing with a doll, we'd think they were insane, but substitute a dog, and it's all ok and normal, right?
You do realize they are legitimately leaving to go take actual care of their animals - most likely to keep them from peeing on the floor - and not just making up an excuse to leave that just SOUNDS important right? If thy happen to describe it as taking care of their babies and that makes you mad that doesn't negate the fact that they actually have sentient beings at home that actually need their attention.
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  #127  
Old 05-02-2013, 02:18 AM
Guinastasia Guinastasia is online now
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It also doesn't mean that ALL childless pet owners are like that. Confirmation bias and all that.
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  #128  
Old 05-02-2013, 11:41 AM
Scubaqueen Scubaqueen is offline
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Originally Posted by StJoan View Post
Of course I am not my cats' parent -- I am their maid, cook, cleaner and full time, all purpose slave.That takes me way, way beyond being just a parent.
This - times three. If you've never had a cat in residence you have no idea how much of an indentured servant you become!
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