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  #1  
Old 05-01-2013, 01:17 PM
Really Not All That Bright Really Not All That Bright is offline
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Help! Recipe for a shitty cook required

For a shitty cook to prepare, that is. Not to make a shitty cook.

It's my anniversary and I'm going to make dinner for my wife, but I have virtually no culinary skills. In Home Economics I was able to follow directions and generally came up with what I was supposed to, but as far as natural ability to make edible things, no. My ability to prepare things without constantly referring to a recipe card is basically limited to eggs, bacon, and pizza (with premade crust).

Also, my wife is a pescatarian, and hence meat is out.

Anyway, if anyone knows a recipe that's really, really, really easy to make and doesn't involve meat, that would be great. I'm not really concerned about how much the ingredients cost or any of that stuff.
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  #2  
Old 05-01-2013, 01:30 PM
Inner Stickler Inner Stickler is offline
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2 salmon steaks
Asparagus
Chardonnay
Shallots
Half and Half
Flour
Dijon mustard

Steam asparagus

Pepper salmon (use white pepper if appearance is important). Fry in skillet on a medium heat until flaky.

Chop the shallot finely and mix with 1/3 cup chardonnay. Boil in sauce pan and then simmer til reduced by about 2 tablespoons. Blend a cup of half and half with a 1/4 cup flour and add to wine sauce. Heat to boiling and remove from heat, stirring constantly til thickened. Add a tablespoon dijon mustard.

Pour sauce over fish and a little bit on the asparagus for appearances. Sprinkle dill over fish. Serve.
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  #3  
Old 05-01-2013, 01:30 PM
Johnny Bravo Johnny Bravo is offline
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Zanzibar Fish Soup
serves 6-8
2 T peanut oil
2 celery stalks, sliced
2 leeks (white and pale green parts only), sliced
1 large white onion, diced
2 tsp curry powder
1 green chile, diced
3 cloves garlic diced
1 bunch fresh cilantro chopped (keep a little aside for garnish)
2 medium tomatoes, peeled and chopped
6 c. fish stock
1 13.5oz can coconut milk
1 lb 1" thick white fish fillets (cod haddock or sea bass) cut into 1/2" cubes
juice of 2 limes

Heat oil in a dutch oven or large pot over med high heat.
Add celery, leeks, and onion. Saute until tender (I saute til they brown a little for flavor).
Add curry powder chili, garlic, and cilantro and cook for one minute.
Add tomatoes and stock and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low, cover and simmer for 10 min.
Add coconut milk and fish. Simmer 10 more minutes.
Add lime juice.
Season with salt and pepper.
Garnish with sprigs of cilantro.


Serve with some crusty bread.
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  #4  
Old 05-01-2013, 01:33 PM
Lacunae Matata Lacunae Matata is offline
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How about something Italian? If you can follow directions, a veggie lasagne is pretty simple to make (seriously, if you use a favorite jarred sauce, it's basically assembling, versus cooking: example. Maybe an antipasto, minus the meat, maybe add some seafood (smaller quantities, obviously, but again - it's assembly, not cooking.) Buy some nice bread from the market. Zabaglione is actually a pretty simple dessert to make. Or just buy something.

Happy anniversary, and good luck!
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  #5  
Old 05-01-2013, 01:45 PM
Really Not All That Bright Really Not All That Bright is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Inner Stickler View Post
2 salmon steaks
Asparagus
Chardonnay
Shallots
Half and Half
Flour
Dijon mustard

Steam asparagus

Pepper salmon (use white pepper if appearance is important). Fry in skillet on a medium heat until flaky.

Chop the shallot finely and mix with 1/3 cup chardonnay. Boil in sauce pan and then simmer til reduced by about 2 tablespoons. Blend a cup of half and half with a 1/4 cup flour and add to wine sauce. Heat to boiling and remove from heat, stirring constantly til thickened. Add a tablespoon dijon mustard.

Pour sauce over fish and a little bit on the asparagus for appearances. Sprinkle dill over fish. Serve.
My wife actually made this on Friday, though with peas instead of asparagus. Otherwise I'd do that.

I don't think you quite understand how bad I am at this stuff, though. "Steam asparagus" might as well be a kind of nineteenth century locomotive for all I know.
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  #6  
Old 05-01-2013, 01:55 PM
Really Not All That Bright Really Not All That Bright is offline
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Is a saute pan the same thing as a frying pan?
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  #7  
Old 05-01-2013, 02:02 PM
Muffin Muffin is offline
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Buy something you wife would like from a restaurant that she has not yet tried. Take it home and transfer it onto you own bowls and plates, spill some of the drippings/crumbs etc. in the kitchen, and be sure to hide the containers it came in.
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  #8  
Old 05-01-2013, 02:07 PM
Muffin Muffin is offline
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Make some sushi -- that way you don't have to cook anything but rice, and a rice cooker can make that idiot proof.
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  #9  
Old 05-01-2013, 02:07 PM
Inner Stickler Inner Stickler is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Really Not All That Bright View Post
I don't think you quite understand how bad I am at this stuff, though. "Steam asparagus" might as well be a kind of nineteenth century locomotive for all I know.
My way: stand asparagus in pot with an inch of water. Boil with lid on until asparagus is delicious.

Slightly more work but makes people feel more comfortable way: Buy this and slice the asparagus into chunks that will fit. Place in pot with an inch of water on the bottom, cover and boil til delicious.
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  #10  
Old 05-01-2013, 02:11 PM
Inner Stickler Inner Stickler is offline
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Originally Posted by Really Not All That Bright View Post
Is a saute pan the same thing as a frying pan?
Basically. A saute pan has straight vertical sides while a frying pan is sloped. But for a home cook, whatever you're doing can probably be done equally well in either.
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  #11  
Old 05-01-2013, 02:13 PM
iiandyiiii iiandyiiii is online now
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Pasta with shrimp pesto:

1 lb shrimp- you can buy frozen shrimp pre-peeled, or easy peel, or buy fresh shrimp
1 lb pasta of your choice (spaghetti is fine)
1/2 a small jar of pre-cooked pesto sauce (available in the same aisle as pasta and spaghetti sauce)
Parmesan cheese to taste
salt and pepper to taste
2 tablespoons Italian seasoning blend
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 medium onion, chopped into small pieces
2 cloves (not heads!) of garlic, chopped into small pieces
(optional) 1/2 lb chopped mushrooms, green pepper, and any other veggies you like

For the sauce:

-put olive oil in a good-sized frying or saute pan, heat to med high, wait for pan to get hot (a few minutes)
-add onions and garlic (and other veggies, if applicable)
-stir frequently for about 10 minutes
-add peeled, defrosted shrimp, cook for 5 more minutes while stirring- shrimp should quickly turn pink
-add the pesto sauce (1/2 of the jar) and Italian seasoning blend
-lower heat to medium-low, stir occasionally, cook another 10 minutes or so

For the pasta:

-Fill a medium to large pot about 2/3rds full of water
-heat on "high"
-when water is boiling, add all the pasta
-stir occasionally, cook (on high) for the time on the box (probably about 7-10 minutes, depending on the type of pasta)
-drain pasta

If you start both at the same time, the pasta will probably be ready a few minutes before the sauce. Season the sauce with salt, pepper, and parmesean cheese to taste. Enjoy!

Last edited by iiandyiiii; 05-01-2013 at 02:15 PM..
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  #12  
Old 05-01-2013, 02:19 PM
Dewey Finn Dewey Finn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Inner Stickler View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Really Not All That Bright View Post
I don't think you quite understand how bad I am at this stuff, though. "Steam asparagus" might as well be a kind of nineteenth century locomotive for all I know.
My way: stand asparagus in pot with an inch of water. Boil with lid on until asparagus is delicious.

Slightly more work but makes people feel more comfortable way: Buy this and slice the asparagus into chunks that will fit. Place in pot with an inch of water on the bottom, cover and boil til delicious.
I hope you're kidding. "Until asparagus is delicious" is far too vague for the inexperienced, such as me and perhaps the OP. That's why I hate instructions like "season to taste."
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  #13  
Old 05-01-2013, 02:23 PM
Little Nemo Little Nemo is offline
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Originally Posted by Really Not All That Bright View Post
Is a saute pan the same thing as a frying pan?
When a cook says sauteing, they mean what most people would call frying. To a professional chef, real frying is when you immerse something in hot oil. Sauteing (or shallow frying) is when you cook something by putting it on a hot oily surface. So you fry french fries and you saute hamburgers.
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  #14  
Old 05-01-2013, 02:26 PM
Inner Stickler Inner Stickler is offline
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Steam asparagus for a couple minutes. Try a piece. Is it tasty? Yes? Stop steaming. No? Keep steaming. Repeat until tasty = true.

I could give a time limit but that would only put you in the neighborhood of how I like my asparagus. Perhaps RNATB or you would like it less or more tender. You're not going to cook it into a mush or burn it or anything and undercooking it won't make you sick so there's absolutely no risk to trial and error here.
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  #15  
Old 05-01-2013, 02:30 PM
DCnDC DCnDC is online now
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Lasagna. It's incredibly easy.

Use the best jarred sauce you can find. You can use vegetarian sausage, or slices of eggplant, or just cheese, sauce, and noodles is perfectly fine.
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  #16  
Old 05-01-2013, 02:32 PM
fifty-six fifty-six is offline
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Pasta is really easy for almost anyone to pull off and the measurements need not be exact. And you can make it fancy just by the ingredients you purchase.

I you have a nice gourmet grocery store get some cool looking pasta. Any shape or color or length you like.

Some good bread.

Buy some fresh basil, a jar of chopped garlic, some nice olive oil, a tomato, some fort of nice green vegetable(asparags, snap peas, spinach.)

Find some nice looking shrimp or some sort of good looking seafood that you feel you can handle. shrimp is easiest though because the color change basically tells you when it is done.

I will make it super easy for you.

Shopping list
Pasta (maybe some basil linguine)
Olive oil
Shrimp (large ones look cool and seem fancy and look like you know what you are doing)
Jar of chopped or crushed garlic
Peas of any kind, spinach, or Asparagus.
a tomato
A loaf of nice bread
A bottle of nice wine
A glass bottle of nice water.
flowers
Buy a cool looking dessert. preferably one you will not have to cut.(Chocolate covered strawberries, individual sliced cake or cheese cake)Maybe a bakeryor gormet store will help you


Set the table
With glasses for water and wine or whatever beverage.
bottle opener.
Put the wine and bottle of water on the table as well
Silverware and napkin
Bread in a basket or cutting board
and the flowers
Put the desserts on a plate and put back in the fridge for easy access when the time arises.
Put on the music.



Cook the pasta.
Drain
Add a tiny bit of oil to prevent sticking.
Set aside.

Chop up your veggies and basil in any fashion. Remove or discard anything that does not look delicious.
Take the shrimp out of the bag. Remove shells if present.
Set aside

Put a large skillet/pan on med heat
put in some olive oil, just to lightly coat the pan. You can add more or some butter later if you feel it needs it.
add a spoon of garlic.Cook till you can smell it.
Throw everything else in.
plus a bit of salt and pepper. dont over do the salt, pepper have more leeway.
Cook till the shrimp changes color
Add pasta.
Stir around
Turn off heat.
Serve.

Give yourself two hours.
30 min to set the table nice.
30 min or so to get your kitchen in order and prepare the ingredients
30 min to cook
30 min extra if a problem arises.


It may take less time that is Okay. the pasta will be fine. You can turn the heat back on to warm it up some if need be.
Move slowly and methodically don't allow for any distractions.

I am sure someone will chime in on ways to improve this dish but it is easy and will be great and anyone of nearly any skill level can impress with it. You are not ready for improvements.

The atmosphere you create with the table setting and smooth cool demeanor will take you farther than your cooking ability. What ever food you decide on do please remember this.

Oh and never stop cleaning. Try your best to toss everything in the dishwasher as you go.
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  #17  
Old 05-01-2013, 02:58 PM
Really Not All That Bright Really Not All That Bright is offline
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Thanks for all the advice so far. Right now I am leaning towards andy or fifty-six's pasta/shrimp deals.
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  #18  
Old 05-01-2013, 03:23 PM
Lukeinva Lukeinva is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Really Not All That Bright View Post
Is a saute pan the same thing as a frying pan?
Saute is a technique, and literally means "jump." When you see a chef tossing the ingredients of a pan to make them flip backwards that is sauteing.

For that salmon and asparagus recipe above... you can cook everything in the same pan and simply finish with butter, lemon juice and a teaspoon of capers. Serve with rice. Rice is easy: 1 cup water 1/2 half cup rice, simmer on low for 20 mins.
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  #19  
Old 05-01-2013, 03:29 PM
fifty-six fifty-six is offline
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I am sorry iiandyiiii I did not read through the thread properly. That is a great one. Both of ours are very similar. I was not trying to trump your good suggestion.
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  #20  
Old 05-01-2013, 03:41 PM
pulykamell pulykamell is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Little Nemo View Post
When a cook says sauteing, they mean what most people would call frying. To a professional chef, real frying is when you immerse something in hot oil.
I'm not so sure about that distinction. The latter I've aways heard chefs refer to as "deep frying," not just frying. As mentioned above sauteeing involves moving the food around, and it also generally involves small, cut-up ingredients rather than larger ones like pan frying does.

For example, you might fry up some pork chops or hamburgers or eggs. You sautee chopped onions and vegetables. You might shallow fry (where the meat is partially submerged in oil and then flipped) Southern-style fried chicken or your might deep fry fried chicken (when you dump the entire piece under oil.) I've personally never heard frying on its own to specifically mean "deep frying," by anything other than context.

Last edited by pulykamell; 05-01-2013 at 03:43 PM..
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  #21  
Old 05-01-2013, 03:47 PM
Cheesesteak Cheesesteak is online now
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You can also go the no-cook route, prepare a platter with a variety of cheeses, olives, grapes, maybe a sliced pear, add a loaf of artisan french bread, and a bottle of red wine.

This meal is special because of the time you spent picking out the ingredients and presenting it nicely, rather than the time you spent over the stove. And there's almost no chance of ruining it.
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  #22  
Old 05-01-2013, 03:53 PM
Really Not All That Bright Really Not All That Bright is offline
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That's the thing. I have made cold-stuff meals before. I make mean grilled sandwiches and I usually prepare a fruit/cheese platter to go with them. I just want to cook something because it's supposed to be special and I never do that (not dinner, at any rate).
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  #23  
Old 05-01-2013, 03:59 PM
Chefguy Chefguy is offline
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Cheese fondue. Seriously: I know it's a kind of 60s thing, but it's romantic and it's easy. First, go buy yourself an electric fondue pot and some fondue forks. They're not all that hard to find.

12 ounces Swiss or Emmenthaler cheese, grated
6-8 ounces Gruyere cheese, grated
1-2 TBSP flour
1 clove garlic
1-1/2 cups dry white wine
1 TBSP lemon juice
1/4 cup brandy
Ground nutmeg
Ground pepper
1 loaf French bread, cut into 1" cubes
Chunks of apple (optional)
poppy seeds or sesame seeds (optional)

Put the cheeses in a plastic bag and toss with the flour. Rub the inside of the pot with a split garlic clove. Pour in the wine. Heat the wine just until bubbles start to form on the bottom of the pot. Add the lemon juice. Start adding cheese by the handful, stirring each handful until it's fairly well melted. Continue doing this until all the cheese has been added. When the cheese is completely melted, add the brandy, nutmeg and pepper (not a lot).

Impale bread pieces (or other dippers) on a fork, swirl in the cheese, dip in seeds (if desired), and eat. Drink more of the white wine as you go.

Lava lamp optional.
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  #24  
Old 05-01-2013, 04:05 PM
fifty-six fifty-six is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chefguy View Post
Cheese fondue. Seriously: I know it's a kind of 60s thing, but it's romantic and it's easy.

[clipped]

Lava lamp optional.
I love this idea I am just not so sure if the lava lamp is optional. I have never made it that way. I suppose it might work.

Last edited by fifty-six; 05-01-2013 at 04:06 PM..
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  #25  
Old 05-01-2013, 04:15 PM
Slow Moving Vehicle Slow Moving Vehicle is online now
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Simple. Just don't wear a condom when you're doing ana - oh, wait; you wanted a recipe for a shitty cook. Sorry, can't help you there.
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  #26  
Old 05-01-2013, 04:17 PM
pulykamell pulykamell is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Really Not All That Bright View Post
That's the thing. I have made cold-stuff meals before. I make mean grilled sandwiches and I usually prepare a fruit/cheese platter to go with them. I just want to cook something because it's supposed to be special and I never do that (not dinner, at any rate).
If you can get away with it, I would definitely recommend doing a trial run for yourself. I could see where it might not be practical given the situation, but if you're not used to cooking, when you step outside your comfort zone it helps to have yourself as the only "victim." That said, it's the thought that counts, and any loving spouse would appreciate the effort even if it doesn't turn out quite right.

And I like the shrimp recipes recommended. In case it's not clear, you want to buy raw, uncooked shrimp. If it's pink, that's not what you want. Also, shrimp will cook very quickly, probably quicker than you think. About 3-4 minutes, usually, so pay attention to when they start changing color and tightening up into a "J" shape. And there's nothing wrong with going to the frozen section for these. Unless you live somewhere with a shrimping industry, the shrimp you see in the "fresh fish" section of supermarkets is most likely defrosted frozen shrimp on ice, anyway. I only buy "fresh" shrimp if I don't feel like defrosting or if they have something in the case that's not available frozen. (And even defrosting does not take that long--maybe an hour or so if you dump them into a pot of room temperature water.)
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  #27  
Old 05-01-2013, 04:33 PM
Really Not All That Bright Really Not All That Bright is offline
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Originally Posted by Chefguy View Post
Cheese fondue. Seriously: I know it's a kind of 60s thing, but it's romantic and it's easy. First, go buy yourself an electric fondue pot and some fondue forks. They're not all that hard to find.
Oh sweet Jesus. We have a fondue pot. Why didn't I think of this?

WINNER!
Quote:
Originally Posted by pulykamell
If you can get away with it, I would definitely recommend doing a trial run for yourself. I could see where it might not be practical given the situation, but if you're not used to cooking, when you step outside your comfort zone it helps to have yourself as the only "victim." That said, it's the thought that counts, and any loving spouse would appreciate the effort even if it doesn't turn out quite right.
I thought I had specified in the OP, but it was a bit unclear - the anniversary (and hence dinner) is today. Too late for a trial run.
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  #28  
Old 05-01-2013, 04:42 PM
Really Not All That Bright Really Not All That Bright is offline
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How long can I leave an electric fondue pot simmering in case she doesn't come home from her meeting on time?
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  #29  
Old 05-01-2013, 04:50 PM
Muffin Muffin is offline
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Why not turn it on when she arrives, and have drinks while it warms up?
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  #30  
Old 05-01-2013, 04:56 PM
Really Not All That Bright Really Not All That Bright is offline
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I was kind of hoping to have it ready when she arrived so I could present her the first chunk of dipped bread with a flourish... but wine is good too.
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  #31  
Old 05-01-2013, 05:08 PM
pulykamell pulykamell is online now
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Originally Posted by Really Not All That Bright View Post
I thought I had specified in the OP, but it was a bit unclear - the anniversary (and hence dinner) is today. Too late for a trial run.
Oh, wow. Way to prepare! I'm sure everything will go well. Congrats and good luck!
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  #32  
Old 05-01-2013, 05:26 PM
Chefguy Chefguy is offline
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Making the fondue in front of her will make her swoon. Once you start adding the cheese, it's only about a 5-10 minute process. Don't let the wine boil and keep the heat on low. Keep stirring, my friend.

Last edited by Chefguy; 05-01-2013 at 05:27 PM..
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  #33  
Old 05-01-2013, 05:45 PM
arseNal arseNal is online now
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Originally Posted by Inner Stickler View Post
Steam asparagus for a couple minutes. Try a piece. Is it tasty? Yes? Stop steaming. No? Keep steaming. Repeat until tasty = true.
Need to file a bug report: if the asparagus never becomes tasty or if the testing interval is too great such that the window of tastiness is missed, you burn your house down!
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  #34  
Old 05-01-2013, 05:54 PM
Inner Stickler Inner Stickler is offline
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Well, if your few minutes is equal to an hour or something, we got bigger issues than being a bad cook.

Last edited by Inner Stickler; 05-01-2013 at 05:54 PM..
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  #35  
Old 05-01-2013, 06:22 PM
fifty-six fifty-six is offline
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Do you have time to install the shag carpet and warm up the lava lamp?
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  #36  
Old 05-01-2013, 06:39 PM
backsidejohnny backsidejohnny is offline
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The words shitty and cook should not go together.

What the hell is your thing/obsession about making her dinner?

Take her out to a nice restaurant!
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  #37  
Old 05-01-2013, 07:14 PM
Alice The Goon Alice The Goon is offline
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Originally Posted by backsidejohnny View Post
The words shitty and cook should not go together.

What the hell is your thing/obsession about making her dinner?

Take her out to a nice restaurant!

Seriously. Probably too late now, but for next time and for the rest of you shitty cooks out there- for a special occasion like an anniversary, I'd much rather be taken out than made dinner by someone that can't cook. I'm likely not the only one that feels this way.
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  #38  
Old 05-01-2013, 07:20 PM
medstar medstar is online now
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Couldn't you just make love to your wife and promise to do it right by taking your socks off before jumping on her?



Oh yeah, just take her out to dinner at a nice restaurant she hasn't been to, then make love to her and take your socks off. When you get home, that is.


::d&r::
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  #39  
Old 05-01-2013, 08:04 PM
ThelmaLou ThelmaLou is offline
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Go to Costco.
Buy their premade Cesar salad.
Buy their premade shrimp salad.
Dump the shrimp salad on top of the Cesar salad and mix together.
That's all.
Fantastic.
I made this for six people for dinner and they loved it. One of the guys now serves it all the time.
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  #40  
Old 05-01-2013, 09:57 PM
Really Not All That Bright Really Not All That Bright is offline
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Originally Posted by Chefguy View Post
Making the fondue in front of her will make her swoon. Once you start adding the cheese, it's only about a 5-10 minute process. Don't let the wine boil and keep the heat on low. Keep stirring, my friend.
Swooning accomplished. I owe you and everyone else in the thread many, many beers.
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Originally Posted by pulykamell View Post
Oh, wow. Way to prepare! I'm sure everything will go well. Congrats and good luck!
Quote:
Originally Posted by backsidejohnny View Post
The words shitty and cook should not go together.

What the hell is your thing/obsession about making her dinner?

Take her out to a nice restaurant!
I was taking her to a nice restaurant, and then last night she found out she had a project meeting at work for a West Coast client - meaning not home until 8ish at best. As it turned out, she was home by 7.
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Originally Posted by medstar View Post
Couldn't you just make love to your wife and promise to do it right by taking your socks off before jumping on her?
Socks? I live in Florida. Socks are for Eskimos. As it happened, she jumped on me.
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  #41  
Old 05-01-2013, 11:01 PM
Left Hand of Dorkness Left Hand of Dorkness is offline
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Originally Posted by fifty-six View Post
Pasta is really easy for almost anyone to pull off and the measurements need not be exact. And you can make it fancy just by the ingredients you purchase.

I you have a nice gourmet grocery store get some cool looking pasta. Any shape or color or length you like.

Some good bread.

Buy some fresh basil, a jar of chopped garlic, some nice olive oil, a tomato, some fort of nice green vegetable(asparags, snap peas, spinach.)
First, I'm glad your recipe worked--cheese fondue sounds perfect!

Second, I wanna share my riff on this recipe. Years ago we were at the beach and had a bunch of fresh seafood plus some other ingredients and put this together:

1) Boil some linguine according to the directions on the package.
2) Grate some peel off of a lemon (gently, so you don't get the pith). You can also cut it off in strips as long as the first knuckle of your pinky; just don't get the nouns in that sentence mixed up.
3) Melt some butter in a pan.
4) Add the lemon peel and stir it around so it gets fragrant, maybe 30 seconds or so.
5) Add some asparagus, maybe a half-pound, that you've cut into 3-inch or so pieces. Stir around for maybe 4-5 minutes.
6) Add 2 or so cloves crushed garlic and stir around for another minute or so.
7) Add about 1/4 pound small scallops (I sometimes can only find jumbo scallops, so I'll cry at the waste as I cut them into little pieces) and stir around for another minute or so.
7) Add 1/2 pound shrimp (and here the quality of the shrimp really matters: if you can find wild-caught, do it!) and stir around for 3-4 minutes.
8) If you want, you can add about 1/2 cup shredded parmesan, 1/2 cup chopped parsley, and/or 1/2 cup white wine. I recommend all of them.
9) Add some salt, maybe 1/2 teaspoon, and taste; add more if you need it. Also add pepper.
10) Throw the cooked linguine in with the lemon garlic seafood.

With a salad and a glass of white wine, this is our romantic vacation dinner. All amounts are approximations; really it's just throwing stuff in.
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  #42  
Old 05-02-2013, 12:29 AM
dnooman dnooman is offline
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 4,750
I'm gonna be laughed out of here for this suggestion, but what the hell.

Easy as hell Shrimp Scampi:

Buy 3 things:

Pasta (linguine, thin spaghetti or angel hair, your choice)

Decent Parmesan: Parmesan/Romano mix, real cheese, not the white powder you get in a Kraft green shaker. I get the $4 stuff in a jar and it suffices.

Frozen Shrimp Scampi: I get the Sea Pak kind because it's what's available, it's often under $5 for a two person serving.

I like to start both the pasta and the Scampi at the same time, keeping the shrimp warm until the pasta is done or vice versa if the pasta is done first. It depends on the pasta type used. Linguine and angel hair cook differently.

The caveman instructions would be "Cook pasta and Scampi to box directions, don't let anything get cold, add a bit of cooking liquid from Scampi to pasta and toss. Add all the shrimp, and as much liquid as you see fit. Sprinkle with Parmesan/Romano/Mix whatever.
When I say liquid here, it's pretty much oil, but it isn't oil added to the cooking process.

Serve with garlic bread if you're a garlic fan like I am, or maybe something contrasting like prosciutto with melon.
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  #43  
Old 05-02-2013, 11:02 AM
Chefguy Chefguy is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Portlandia
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Really Not All That Bright View Post
Swooning accomplished. I owe you and everyone else in the thread many, many beers.

Happy I could get you laid.
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  #44  
Old 05-02-2013, 11:31 AM
TriPolar TriPolar is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pulykamell View Post
I'm not so sure about that distinction. The latter I've aways heard chefs refer to as "deep frying," not just frying. As mentioned above sauteeing involves moving the food around, and it also generally involves small, cut-up ingredients rather than larger ones like pan frying does.

For example, you might fry up some pork chops or hamburgers or eggs. You sautee chopped onions and vegetables. You might shallow fry (where the meat is partially submerged in oil and then flipped) Southern-style fried chicken or your might deep fry fried chicken (when you dump the entire piece under oil.) I've personally never heard frying on its own to specifically mean "deep frying," by anything other than context.
I think of pan-frying as being just a bit different than sauteing. In saute you are going to be moving the food around a lot, and it's often smaller pieces, and there may be additional cooking steps involved such as flaming or reducing a sauce. Pan-frying often is just letting a piece of meat sear and form a crust, then flipping to the other side. But the distinction is minor, and really unimportant since it won't lead to confusion.

A better distinction might be made between a frying pan, usually with straight slight slanted sides, and a saute pan where the sides should curve up, making it easier to toss food as it cooks. Still either one will do most of the time.

I don't know of any cooks who would not specify deep frying or make in obvious in context to distinquish from pan-frying or sauteing.
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  #45  
Old 05-02-2013, 12:12 PM
stoplight stoplight is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Me thinks simple is best for somebody not so bright..hehehehe
Seared Ahi
get yerself some yellowfin or bluefin loins..not steaks, loins.
coat the bottom of a skillet with olive oil and put the heat on medium high
on the loins put Kosher salt, that will add a nice crust and any other season you think might be good, fish seasoning always works well.
Oil is hot, put the loins in for 30-45 seconds per side, idea is to sear each side but not cook all the way through. Once each side is done, put on a plate, cover with clear wrap and refrigerate immediately and for at least an hour.
Slice and serve with wasabi and soy sauce mixed together. OH MY..
side dish
a green salad
and oven roasted asparagus.
on a cookie shoot layout your asparagus, sprinkle with some olive oil, salt, pepper and parmasan cheese. in the oven for about 12 min. at 400
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  #46  
Old 05-02-2013, 12:19 PM
Really Not All That Bright Really Not All That Bright is offline
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Do fish have loins?
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  #47  
Old 05-02-2013, 02:03 PM
stoplight stoplight is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2011
yes sir, steak are cut from the loin, its a three sided slab,

http://www.asia.ru/images/target/img...8/11542808.jpg
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