I am mildly surprised at the findings, since theoretically an extensive screening process like the ones used at eHarmony and PlentyOfFish would lead you to interact with compatible singles of the opposite sex. Theoretically.
Thoughts?
(fyi, full report is here if you’re bored.. it’s long)
I haven’t read the report but if they’re doing a random sampling of the entire spectrum of human personalities, I think the research is flawed.
I imagine that if you are an outgoing, tactile sort of person, online dating would not be for you. People like this need to be in close proximity of their perspective mates as they need to be able to feed off their cues.
On the other hand, if you’re a shy shut in, I can’t see how online dating wouldn’t better your odds by leaps and bounds. (For obvious reasons.)
I dont watch TV as I consider it propaganda but I watch life and here is my 2 cents:
key word is relationship and we have different expectations changing all the time.
I only recognize connections between males and females as valid and starting point in any connection is pre-agreement on what both sides expect.
For example, most relationships rotate around sex and money and this should be
discussed in advance.
I would say the odds are about even between online and real life. I’ve gone on dates with people with whom I’ve had lots in common, but it hasn’t stopped them from being nutters. The machines can’t catch all parts of your character and things like “not be a nutter” have some importance too.
What I do think is that it can be a good way to find someone and it will become more and more normal. At least where I live we still don’t openly say “I met him/her on a dating site”, but I think in a few years’ time that won’t be a problem.
This isn’t surprising at all (and I say this as someone in a marriage facilitated by OKCupid).
Online dating is an efficient tool for meeting potential dating partners. Nothing more, nothing less. It doesn’t actually change anything about dating or relationships. Once you’ve made that first date, it’s job is done, so why would there be a difference?
Agreed. Online dating does, however, increase the chances of relationships starting at all, particularly for people in remote locations or without much access to other ways of meeting partners, like gay people who aren’t into the scene, ie me.
It’s like saying that Amazon has failed to make us more literate.
Amazon makes it easier for us to buy books, but if you like trashy detective novels, all it’s going to do is make it easier to buy trashy detective novels. If you are dyslexic, it’s not going to suddenly turn you into a star reader. If you are too busy to read, it’s not going to make it any easier to find time to tackle the books you buy. And if you already are a dedicated reader, it’s probably not going to revolutionize your habits, it’s just going to make it easier than trying to find time to go to the bookstore.
Online dating is awesome for setting up first dates with relatively random people that have been screened for the first set of “obvious dealbreakers.” It’s probably the best method out there for doing so. It’s useless at making you more attractive, or making others more attractive, or finding compatibility, or navigating relationship pitfalls, or creating commitment.
It’s worth noting that some of these facts are even less surprising given that a not-insignificant portion of online daters are explicitly not looking for marriage or other commitments. We get married late, and online dating skews young.
Online dating is just a way of having access to a larger pool of dating prospects than is possible IRL. No more, no less. Any claim to more than that is baseless.
and it’s supposed to be a country song, of course!
Which brings me to another question about dating sites: Is there any correlation between peoples’ preference for music genres and the success of their date?
It sorta seems like people who prefer “achy-breaky heart” music might have a different dating style than ,say, goths.
I think (and there’s probably no way to study this, but anyway) that online dating makes relationships possible for a large subset of people who wouldn’t otherwise be able to find a partner. People who are too lazy, dislike the bar/club scene, have crippling shyness, or are *really *picky can ALL find suitable partners now. Whereas before online dating existed, they were limited to local personals ads, friends-of-a-friend, blind dates, that kind of thing.
Online dating also makes long-distance relationships a lot easier to find AND maintain… that’s how I met my boyfriend. Now we’re living together and *blissfully *happy. /rubsitin
Yeah, and just people who wouldn’t meet in the wild. The guy I dated from eHarmony was into things like the symphony which is not my scene. I usually met men at grimy clubs where he would never go. Personality-wise we were compatible though and he was fine with my lack of sophistication, I just got scared off. Otherwise it could have worked.