Friday night is Lampoons, our med school’s annual evening of comedy about all things medical. As usual, my class is hard at work putting together a proper spectacle.
In one sketch, I am playing a pimp. For those who don’t know, the process of asking med students point blank questions on rounds is known as “pimping”, so we’re having fun with the double entendre as well as with the misogynistic nature of some of our superiors.
However, I’m having trouble coming up with proper pimp-style dialogue. My one good pimp line thus far comes when a medical student introduces herself as Emily, and I say, “I think we’ll call you Roxy, 'cause you’re so foxy.”
The gist of the skit–I come on in pimp/medical regalia (my costume is great) with my other “resident 'hos” (their costumes are even better–scrubs made slutty). I’m introduced to my team of four “mizz-edical stizz-udents”, two guys and two girls. I send the guys away to watch the fetal monitors, so it can be “just me and the ladies”. I then launch into a discussion of the pap smear that includes lots of “oh, baby” from me and “ooh, yeah, Dr. Pimp Daddy D” from the 'hos as the med students look on in horror.
What I need more than anything are some good throwaway pimp lines. Pimps up, 'hos down!
You may want to consider exactly how this is going to be funny. A Pimp/Ho routine could be extremely funny, or extremely racist/sexist and unfunny.
The fun might come from using the pimp slang to refer to the techniques that all med students would be familiar with. In other words, you’re pimping for the machines, not the nurses. If you’ve got a patient in bed, you might try to sell him on various horrific devices using the slang. (Unfortunately, I don’t know medical terminolgy nor pimp slang, so I can’t write an example. I am an editor, which is a profession which allows me to make uninformed suggestions.)
Fortunately, you and your audience are similar in temperment and knowledge, and they’re going to be in the mood to laugh. Just remember to keep it short and keep on talking. No dead air, and step in with the next line before the laughs die away completely.
Actually, I’m sewing a fake-fur lining onto a white lab coat. Lots of jewelry, yes, plus a wide-collared shirt and a purple velvet pimp hat with feather. With scrub pants, it’s the perfect pimp/doctor combo. I’m going out this afternoon to find platforms and a pimp stick.
Ours is extremely funny, on a lot of levels. First is the level on which pimps are just funny. Then there’s the double meaning of “pimp” among med students, and the fact that the particular resident we’re lampooning is known for pimping. He’s also known as something of a mysogynist (odd, as he’s an OB/GYN resident), and all of the OB/GYN residents are known for being disturbingly affectionate with one another. This one works from so many angles that two of us on the Lampoons crew came up with it independently.