I don’t want anything fancy, just a reading glass lens in a frame (preferably cheap enough so I can jam it in my pocket and replace when it gets scratched up). All I can find are fake/costume monocles with flat or no lenses. Surely someone still makes monocles, right?
Warber Parky has monocles (of course it has).
Or Warby Parker, even.
You’ll have to give up eating soup. You never know when someone will say something startling.
I’ll give up soup if I can still hang around large-chested women with low-cut tops.
Actually, menus are a prime driver of this. I started needing reading glasses about a year or so ago. It’s not so bad that I’m incapable of functioning without them, so I rarely have them on me outside the house (in the house I have between fifteen and twenty pairs squirrelled away for easy access). But there’s the occasional menu or label that I want to read, and don’t want to carry glasses with me everywhere.
This doesn’t answer your question directly, but for menus and labels and such my husband for many years carried a magnifier the same size and shape as a credit card in his wallet.
Not the same one for all those years. I’d put a new one in his Christmas stocking most years. They show up near cash registers this time of year.
You know, you’re in a prime time to buy a monocle. Not just because of the internet, but in decades past but after they were first used it was hard. Now steampunk hipsters have created a demand for monocles and top hats
Well, that’ll just look silly attached to a gold chain and crammed into his eye.
That’s an odd typo on my part, is that a spoonerism?
To the OP, you’ll have to learn how to say “Hogannnnn!” like Col. Klink.
If you find someplace that makes them, be careful not to fall into the machinery. You’ll just make a spectacle of yourself.
This actually just came up a few days ago, starting in post 102 of this thread.
In case you need any more leads. 
Yeah, sure. I’ll just check with the boys down at the optical lab. They got four more technicians working on the lens. They got us working in shifts!
I’ve always wondered, do you develope a callous where the frame meets your orbit? I would think some salve or neosporin would come with a functional monocle.
It’s been a while since the last time I bought a monocle, but my answer is simply: Go to an optician. It’s their business idea to sell such stuff.
Actually, I’d like a reading glass monocle. I usually wear contacts-- at -5.50 each eye-- so a reading monocle might come in handy for reading small print and looking pompous. 
Amazon delivereth.
http://www.amazon.com/Classic-Monocle-Diameter-Diopter-Nearsights-com/dp/B00FM5HIUI
For those who wear (or want to wear) a monocle: How do you actually read with this thing? Do you close the non-monocled eye when reading? I’ve gone a couple hours with only one contact in, and when only one eye is corrected, it makes it very difficult to focus, especially on things close-up.
Hi everyone,
That’s my monocle that @bump linked to on Amazon. I have a much larger selection at www.nearsights.com - please check them out! All of our monocles come with standard reading lenses, but we also offer prescription lenses if needed.
@Happy_Lendervedder, a monocle is actually very easy to wear and comfortable. The galleries on the back of the monocle make it simple to hold in your eye. I’ve talked to customers who wear their monocles for extended periods when reading without an issue. But most people use their monocle for occasional reading - menus, phones, grocery store labels - things like that.
I’m happy to answer other questions - thanks!
If I should ever win > $100 million after taxes in a lottery, I will promptly buy a tuxedo with tails, a tophat, and a monocle.
Then show up at friend’s events, speak in a phony upper class accent and call them all peasants and riff-raff.