Rude awakening or a Wedding Story

[Zap_Rowsdower]

Well, my oldest and best friend got married and it has made me sit back and think, which is something I usually try to avoid, but nevertheless...

I am 34 and currently unattatched and there are no prospects around that I can see. I have always considered myself happy with the single life, however, I really want someone I can share my life with. I am tired of not having a relationship last more than six months or going out on dull dates. I do not think there is anything wrong with me...I am honest, caring and have the anoying habit of surprising women with flowers, chocolate etc. for no good reason, but the only thing this gets me is a woman who steals my computer, lies about being divorced while still married, and dropping me for someone else.

I definitly do not want to be someone who gets married just to be married. I want a soul mate, someone I can dedicate my life to making her happy, but I cannot find anyone like that. I wonder if I am the only one who feels this way. I know married life or a long term relationship is not all holding hands, laughing and intense sex, but I want it anyway. Maybe know that I finished my last beer, I will get off of the pity kick, but until then all I have to say is BAHHHHH!!!

Oh well...only one thing to do, curse my friend for getting married and making me feel this way.

[DRY]

Chimaera, I'm right with you on this one. Except I'm a year older and have never been particularly happy being single.

As for cursing your friend for getting married, I've been in two weddings in the last five years: once as the best man, once as an usher. I've told my friends that I might go to a wedding, but the next one I'm in will be mine (which means I won't be in any anymore). I've done my share of 'em. Bah.

[DMC]

Chimaera,

If it's any consolation, I have dated women who were almost exactly what I want in a wife. I didn't marry any of them (there were three), in hopes that I would one day meet the one that was perfect for me. I was determined to die single, before marrying the wrong person.

I finally met her at the ripe old age of 40, and plan on enjoying the rest of my life, secure in the knowledge that I made the right decisions all those years ago.

[Bumbazine]

Chimaera, I married the wrong woman at 36. Walked away from that one at 39 with little more than the clothes on my back.

Swore I'd never get married again.

Married a good woman at 41, and I'm still married 13 years later.

I don't know how any of that helps you, except to say "hang in there and wait for a good one."
I feel your pain. (That was a much better phrase before Clinton got ahold of it.)

[Cyn]

No prospects in sight doesn't mean you won't find your wife-to-be soon. Seven months ago I answered an online ad Drachillix posted on Yahoo Personals. I was wanting it all, holding hands, candy, flowers, laughing and intense sex.
I got it.
From that day to this we have been building a relationship. It happened suddenly, unexpectedly, and we both grabbed it and ran with it because we both wanted it. I hear a lot of men complain of the things you mentioned, and I wonder how they allowed these women access to their houses, wallets and cars, how they overlooked something as large as a husband, that their red lights didn't start to flash "Danger" when they heard vauge or evasive answers? I am very willing to be scrutinized by Drachillix and he by me. If there is anything too distasteful, it's better to know, so we can each decide what we can and can't accept, and if things can be re-arranged somehow. I hated going on all those first dates, some second dates and rare third dates. But your future wife could show up any minute now. Be ready to welcome her to you world!

[Zap_Rowsdower]

Many thanks all, I appreciate what you all said. I was just in a wierd mood when I posted this. I will just relax and let whatever happen happen.

Thanks again

[Dragwyr]

Originally posted by Chimaera
Many thanks all, I appreciate what you all said. I was just in a wierd mood when I posted this. I will just relax and let whatever happen happen.

That's about all you can really do. I know from personal experience that if you look too hard, you won't find the right one.

[Tygr]

Originally posted by Chimaera
I know married life or a long term relationship is not all holding hands, laughing and intense sex...

It isn't?!? God, you mean we've been doing it WRONG for the past six years?



I wish I could avoid the same old "Don't worry - it'll happen when the time is right" cliche, because that pissed me off so bad when I was single, but I really can't offer anything more concrete. Especially because that's exactly how it worked for both my wife and me. We'd both just given up on the idea of finding the right person. Then each of us responded to the same temp agency ad...

I'd wager that's how it'll start - some completely mundane crossing of paths.