Necessary background: between the ages of about 6 through 17 (when I left for college) I was involved on the periphery of a movement now known as ‘quiverful.’
I am not now christian at all, let alone fundamentalist.
If you have questions about quiverful lifestyle, philosophy, or justifications (either to fellow quiverefullers, fellow believers, or outsiders) I’ll do my best to answer. As part of my ‘conversion’ process, I did a decent amount of study on the movement, so anything I did not experience personally is as factual as I was able to research.
I was just reading the Free Jinger site today. It’s dedicated to snarking on the Duggars, perhaps the most well known example of the quiverful movement.
My question is did you see many people that were involved turn away from and publicly denounce it? Because with the Duggars, not only does it seem like everyone in their massively immediate extended family totally mainline the Kool-Aid for all eternity, but so do those on the periphery of their lives. That’s a lot of folks who never express doubts, concerns or even raise the most timid of questions.
Which is what provably makes them appear so creepy, among other things.
How often (or did you) babysit siblings, small children? Were you taught about childcare from day one? Did you ask about being anything other than mother/doula?
Oh no, for two reasons. First, very cultlike in that regard. If you’re not all-in, you’re out. You learn real quick as a woman or child not to ask questions, because ‘doubts’ are a sign of Satan having a foothold in your mind. Curiosity is strongly discouraged, especially questioning church doctrine, church leaders, or really anyone with a penis.
Secondly, our family was late in joining the group compared to most members, and mom and I were especially suspect since my dad obviously didn’t give a rats ass about this ‘headship’ nonsense. So even if there were any internal ripples of discontent, we’d never hear or see a thing because the rest of the church wanted to be good examples to us of living in faith.
I remember one or two smallish families that came in around the same time we did just leaving, but that was actually creepier - they just vanished and no one talked about them any more, and it isn’t like we socialized with the outside world, so they really were just gone one day and that was it.
I watched my younger siblings pretty much constantly, as well as other church children/infants, but biology conspired against my mom, so there were only three of us. (Adoption is frowned upon because (and I’m giving their opinion here) you don’t know the quality of the seed, and you don’t want to sow tares with your wheat.) Yes, I was a major caregiver for them, as well as other young children in the group, but it wasn’t treated like or called babysitting or childcare, it was just the general occupation of young girls. If you didn’t have a baby or young child attached to you, a mother would walk by and drop one on you and you were expected to be thrilled to have it and expected to know what to do with it. You were really only meant to bring it back to nurse.
I was old enough and smart enough to not ask questions that would get me into trouble, so no I never asked about other occupations. Our group wasn’t QUITE as strict as some, and there were several mothers/older sisters who worked as assistants or secretaries in their husbands’ / parents’ / church family offices (or more often in home offices) so as an active, bright, verbal girl, that is what I expected I would be doing. I always hoped I wouldn’t have lots of kids, and then felt guilty about having sinful thoughts.
I left the movement because my father died of cancer and the church decided that my mother, brothers, and I were obviously sinful (because he wasn’t healed) and were contaminating their fellowship and they excommunicated us.
Strangely enough, I didn’t feel powerless. I felt like I had a very clear expectation of me and of my position in the church. I felt like that position sucked ass, but it was infinitely better than being a martyr, so there was no point complaining, right?
Hard to say, really, because most of the kids born into the movement are roughly my age range, and haven’t had a lifetime yet to re-evaluate. I will say that, being all culty, it is really hard to get out, because EVERYTHING you know has to change 180. In addition, the philosophy pretty much defines poor boundaries and learned helplessness, so the critical thinking and self-preservation instincts really aren’t there. Finally, if a girl doesn’t get out while she’s unmarried, she’s either pregnant or has kids to deal with, and ZERO marketable skills or any inclination of how to use them, or any ability to trust secular society.
So, while I bet there’s a significant number of people unhappy with the system, a lot fewer of them are going to have the ability to pack it in and say fuckit. I was very lucky that way in that our family wasn’t desirable enough to want to hold on to, so they pushed us away.
I presume that you were homeschooled? Did the movement have standards, policies, or assessments for homeschooling or did parents pretty much have free rein over what to teach and when?
Are children (either girls or boys) encouraged to obtain any outside education or certification like a GED or a career certificate or is that too worldly and/or unnecessary?
Looks like you’re saying that your parents explicitly joined the group as opposed to growing up in it. Was the group big on recruiting or did they primarily focus on growing internally and converts were a minor bonus? If they did go out and recruit/proselytize, what was their strategy? Did they target college students? Young professionals? People in rehab programs looking for a quick fix to their life?
Was the group more or less coextensive with a church congregation or conference of congregations or was it was more like a para-church fellowship like Focus on the Family or Vision Forum that was composed of people who attended local churches that had some people who weren’t part of the movement?
Quiverfull is an ultraconservative movement of fundamentalist Christians in the US and possibly other countries. There isn’t a single overarching quiverful organization in a formal sense but they are a pretty coherent social movement.
In essence, the fundamental idea of quiverful is related to a metaphor of children being similar to arrows in the quiver of an archer. Having more of them is a Good Thing ™.
Typical beliefs:
Not using any birth control, ever.
Early marriage. Children are strongly encouraged to marry shortly after finishing their basic education, which is around age 18.
Homeschooling. This is part of being separate from the supposedly corrupt secular world that doesn’t follow God anymore and also about insulating the children from that worldly influence.
Strong emphasis on distinguishing spheres of men and women. They emphasize the concept of “headship” which is easy enough to look up for yourself but it pretty much means that men are in charge, all the time. Women have to shut up (metaphorically and sometimes also physically).
In some groups, women wear a physical head-covering as a sign of submission to men.
Women cannot wear trousers, because that is cross-dressing.
Characteristic attire, especially for women and girls. The “denim jumper” is perhaps the most stereotypical of quiverful outfits, but many prefer “Little House on the Prairie” type dresses with frilly aprons for both girls and women. Regardless, dress for women must be clearly feminine and obviously modest, showing a little bit of bare ankle is about as far as one can push it without being counseled.
A desire to live in rural areas. Many (but certainly not all) quiverful families are farmers or at least have close relationships with farmers.
Did I mention that using birth control is right out? Celebrate love, be open to children, throw those condoms away now, sinner!
