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Old 02-06-2015, 06:25 PM
BrainGlutton BrainGlutton is offline
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"Little Red Riding Hood" nitpick

Wolf, you just caught a little girl alone in the forest. You want to eat her? Just eat her. What's the point of all this rigamarole about getting ahead of her and posing as Grandma?
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Old 02-06-2015, 06:33 PM
Tapioca Dextrin Tapioca Dextrin is offline
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James Bond "So Mr Badguy Evilton, now that you....."

BANG!

Badyguy Evilton "Stuff him in a landfill. Then we'll do what we do every night .... try and take over the world!"
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Old 02-06-2015, 06:36 PM
Lord Mondegreen Lord Mondegreen is offline
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In a story where there's a talking wolf, a girl who mistakes a talking wolf for her grandmother, and a wolf who "eats" people whole without apparently taking a bite (they are unharmed when cut out of his stomach), that's the nit that you pick?
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Old 02-06-2015, 06:52 PM
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Originally Posted by BrainGlutton View Post
Wolf, you just caught a little girl alone in the forest. You want to eat her? Just eat her. What's the point of all this rigamarole about getting ahead of her and posing as Grandma?
The wolf actually enjoyed cross-dressing as Octogenarians, but he couldn't dress as old ladies because it was frowned upon by the rest of the woodland creatues. But he thought if he could fool Red it would be justification of his desire but Red wasn't fooled. He ate her and Grandma out of frustration, he was a grief eater. If only he had been allowed to be himself. I blame society.
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Old 02-06-2015, 06:53 PM
Thudlow Boink Thudlow Boink is online now
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The wolf has to catch Red off guard, because she has a baseball bat.
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Old 02-06-2015, 06:56 PM
huitzilopochtli huitzilopochtli is offline
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I'm hesitant because I think I've been whooshed but I'm not sure. Meh, what the heck.
It's a metaphor for what happens to little girls when they go out alone at night. He's a wolf after all.
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Old 02-06-2015, 07:11 PM
GIGObuster GIGObuster is online now
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Originally Posted by BrainGlutton View Post
Wolf, you just caught a little girl alone in the forest. You want to eat her? Just eat her. What's the point of all this rigamarole about getting ahead of her and posing as Grandma?
Because, thanks to Red, now the Wolf knows that Grandma is weak (in the brother's Grim version she even tells the wolf that the wine she carries also is to help Grandma get better)

So now the Wolf knows that Grandma is easy prey, and now instead of one meal he will have two, plus the wolf can now eat her liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti...

The point of the tale was very similar to the one made later in WWII about loose lips.
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Old 02-06-2015, 07:18 PM
huitzilopochtli huitzilopochtli is offline
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I guess I only whooshed myself! Maybe I was a little quick to assume something like slut shaming. I don't think that usually includes "And you'll get your poor grandma killed too!"
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Old 02-06-2015, 07:21 PM
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He wanted her shirker carkeys and she had never been told that yonder nor sorghum stenches shut ladle gulls stopper torque wet strainers.

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Old 02-06-2015, 07:22 PM
Freudian Slit Freudian Slit is offline
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Originally Posted by GIGObuster View Post
Because, thanks to Red, now the Wolf knows that Grandma is weak (in the brother's Grim version she even tells the wolf that the wine she carries also is to help Grandma get better)
But why not just eat Little Red and then go off and eat grandma? Obviously there wouldn't be much of a story otherwise, but from the wolf's perspective it makes little sense.
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Old 02-06-2015, 07:29 PM
purplehearingaid purplehearingaid is offline
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I would like to take this further , why a story about a wolf eating people in the first?
Wolves have a natural fear of people and want nothing to do with them .
Little Red Riding Hood lied! To answer your question the story was written to instill the fear of wolves so people would hunt to death.
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Old 02-06-2015, 07:51 PM
GIGObuster GIGObuster is online now
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Originally Posted by Freudian Slit View Post
But why not just eat Little Red and then go off and eat grandma? Obviously there wouldn't be much of a story otherwise, but from the wolf's perspective it makes little sense.
In the tale of the Brother's Grim there is also an explanation, Red Riding hood had +100 in avoidance abilities, hard for the Wolf to catch Red. (In the tale Red was keeping her distance and it could be that she had ways to defend herself) so he hatched the plan to catch her later when her guard was down when approaching "Grandma"

http://www.speakaboos.com/full-text/...ed-riding-hood

Last edited by GIGObuster; 02-06-2015 at 07:52 PM.
  #13  
Old 02-06-2015, 08:21 PM
Aquadementia Aquadementia is offline
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It's called the art of seduction.

I bet you eat your mac and cheese out of the pot.
Which would be sensible except for the portion size.
  #14  
Old 02-06-2015, 08:30 PM
Johnny L.A. Johnny L.A. is online now
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'Little Red Riding Hood, I am going to eat you!'
'Golly, don't people screw anymore?'

'Little Red Riding Hood, I am going to rape you!'
'Not gonna happen, Big Boy. You're going to stick to the script and eat me!'
  #15  
Old 02-06-2015, 09:53 PM
BrainGlutton BrainGlutton is offline
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Originally Posted by GIGObuster View Post
The point of the tale was very similar to the one made later in WWII about loose lips.
Ah, yes! Private SNAFU!
  #16  
Old 02-06-2015, 09:59 PM
BrainGlutton BrainGlutton is offline
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Originally Posted by Lord Mondegreen View Post
In a story where there's a talking wolf, a girl who mistakes a talking wolf for her grandmother, and a wolf who "eats" people whole without apparently taking a bite (they are unharmed when cut out of his stomach), that's the nit that you pick?
I recall an old Peanuts strip. Lucy is reading "Goldilocks and the Three Bears" to Linus.

LINUS: Excuse me, I have a question. It's in regard to cooling. It seems to me that if the middle bowl were "too cold," then the little bowl would have been "too cold" too, instead of "just right," and . . .

LUCY: *WHAP* YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY!
  #17  
Old 02-06-2015, 10:10 PM
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You think that's crazy? Let me tell you about diminutive, skittish Ms. Muffet, who had arachnophobia...
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Old 02-06-2015, 10:13 PM
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Perhaps the path is reasonably well-trafficked, and the wolf needs to get Red behind closed doors to enjoy his repast.
  #19  
Old 02-07-2015, 01:39 AM
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Originally Posted by RealityChuck View Post
He wanted her shirker carkeys and she had never been told that yonder nor sorghum stenches shut ladle gulls stopper torque wet strainers.

Source
Hokey smokies, that takes me back! I remember that from when samizdat of this sort was Xeroxed and re-Xeroxed. I still have it on paper, and you can tell it's something like a tenth generation copy!
  #20  
Old 02-07-2015, 02:41 AM
Johnny Q Johnny Q is offline
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I've always preferred the James Thurber version
SPOILER:
The girl took out an automatic and shot him.
MORAL: It's not so easy to fool little girls these days.
  #21  
Old 02-07-2015, 04:03 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny Q View Post
I've always preferred the James Thurber version
SPOILER:
The girl took out an automatic and shot him.
MORAL: It's not so easy to fool little girls these days.
When you have to shoot ... shoot!
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  #22  
Old 02-08-2015, 03:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny Q View Post
I've always preferred the James Thurber version
SPOILER:
The girl took out an automatic and shot him.
MORAL: It's not so easy to fool little girls these days.
This is what I came into this thread to post!
  #23  
Old 02-08-2015, 04:02 PM
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The wolf felt the need to take "stalking his prey" to a whole new level, after the Little Pig incident.
  #24  
Old 02-08-2015, 05:00 PM
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Originally Posted by Ethilrist View Post
The wolf felt the need to take "stalking his prey" to a whole new level, after the Little Pig incident.
Well, the big bad wolf, well, he huffed and he puffed
All that he could
And lo and behold
The little piggy's house stood
It's made out of concrete the little piggy shouted
The wolf just frowned as he pouted
So they called 911 like any piggy would
They sent out Rambo just as fast as they could

Yo wolf face
I'm your worst nightmare
Your ass is mine

"Three Little Pigs" - Green Jelly

Last edited by cochrane; 02-08-2015 at 05:01 PM.
  #25  
Old 02-08-2015, 06:13 PM
Bill Door Bill Door is offline
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Originally Posted by BrainGlutton View Post
I recall an old Peanuts strip. Lucy is reading "Goldilocks and the Three Bears" to Linus.

LINUS: Excuse me, I have a question. It's in regard to cooling. It seems to me that if the middle bowl were "too cold," then the little bowl would have been "too cold" too, instead of "just right," and . . .

LUCY: *WHAP* YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY!
I know, right? It's a question of thermal mass. That always drove me crazy too.
  #26  
Old 02-08-2015, 06:49 PM
Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor is offline
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Werewolf?
There! Wolf.
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  #27  
Old 02-08-2015, 07:35 PM
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What, you guys never play with your food?
  #28  
Old 02-08-2015, 08:54 PM
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In a story where there's a talking wolf, a girl who mistakes a talking wolf for her grandmother, and a wolf who "eats" people whole without apparently taking a bite (they are unharmed when cut out of his stomach), that's the nit that you pick?
I noticed all those points when I first heard or read the story (I don't remember which its was), but caught on that some times you just have to accept the reality of the story; I suspect that is a very important developmental milestone, now that I think of it.

But I'm kind of embarrassed that Brainglutton's objection never occurred to me.

(I did wonder if perhaps LRRH wouldn't have to worry about the Woodman next.)
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Old 02-09-2015, 01:41 AM
edwardcoast edwardcoast is offline
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Originally Posted by BrainGlutton View Post
Wolf, you just caught a little girl alone in the forest. You want to eat her? Just eat her. What's the point of all this rigamarole about getting ahead of her and posing as Grandma?
The wolf had a fetish. He always wanted to be in drag as a Grandma and now this was his chance.
  #30  
Old 02-09-2015, 10:13 AM
BrainGlutton BrainGlutton is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny L.A. View Post
'Little Red Riding Hood, I am going to eat you!'
'Golly, don't people screw anymore?'

'Little Red Riding Hood, I am going to rape you!'
'Not gonna happen, Big Boy. You're going to stick to the script and eat me!'
TVTropes:

Quote:
Depending on the version, the girl and her grandmother may be rescued by a passing huntsman or other benefactor, whereupon they may take revenge upon the wolf (in "Rotkäppchen", they fill the wolf's belly with stones); this may be the influence of The Wolf and the Seven Young Kids or similar tales. In Perrault's version, however, the story ends with the girl's death, followed by a moral warning young ladies to beware of "wolves", especially those who are "charming, quiet, unassuming, complacent, and sweet". French folk versions (such as this one), which do not feature the red hat, have the heroine deduce the problem before the wolf eats her, and escape by saying she needs to visit the bathroom; folklorists believe this is the older version. note This is usually the conclusion to an alternative story where the Wolf asks Little Red to throw her clothes into the fire and get into Grandma's bed with him, suggesting he has something in mind other than eating her.

A Homage to this story appears in the song "Hey Little Red Riding Hood" which makes the wolf out as a would-be suitor rather than a vicious animal wanting to consume her for food. This may be closer to the original version of the story, which some scholars believe to be a tale of seduction, with the red cape symbolizing menstruation, and therefore fertility. This hits the slight problem that Perrault introduced the red cape. In the original folktales, no mention was made of any particular article of clothing, let alone its color.
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Old 02-09-2015, 04:21 PM
Cartoonacy Cartoonacy is offline
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Anyone else remember Stan Freberg's Little Blue Riding Hood?
  #32  
Old 02-09-2015, 08:54 PM
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I think the real story is Little Red Riding Hood engaged in some kinky role playing with the wolf, but then things got out of hand, and she ended up falsely accusing the wolf of bad doin's upon being discovered.
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Old 02-09-2015, 09:53 PM
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You see the Wolf as the victim in Little Red Riding Hood?

Well, at least you're not claiming it was Grandmother's fault for friend-zoning him.
  #34  
Old 02-09-2015, 11:12 PM
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Aha! An early Furry porn fic!
  #35  
Old 02-09-2015, 11:42 PM
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Anyone else remember Stan Freberg's Little Blue Riding Hood?
"But Grandma! What a big subpoena you have in your pocket!"
  #36  
Old 02-10-2015, 12:42 AM
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This is my favourite version of Little Red Riding Hood.

Hilariously bizarre and starring Christina Ricci.

It's based on a pre-Grimm version of the story.
  #37  
Old 02-10-2015, 09:30 AM
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Several posters have gotten near the truth.

It is a moral tale about young girls talking to strangers.

The "wolf" was not Canis lupus but H. sapiens. Yes, the idiom is that old.

If you read some of the old versions, it is more obvious (and a bit kinky in places )
  #38  
Old 02-10-2015, 09:43 AM
MacLir MacLir is offline
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Several of the old fairy tales have messages that are lost to the modern reader.

The obvious message of "The Three Little Pigs" is being industrious, but there is a subtext. This is a northern European story, where wild pigs of the Laurasian strain were in the forests. Think: wild boar. (Domestic pigs descend from an Oriental lineage.)

One pig runs away. Two pigs resist momentarily, then run. Three pigs kill the wolf and eat him. Get the message?
  #39  
Old 02-10-2015, 09:50 AM
Ethilrist Ethilrist is offline
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Several of the old fairy tales have messages that are lost to the modern reader.

The obvious message of "The Three Little Pigs" is being industrious, but there is a subtext. This is a northern European story, where wild pigs of the Laurasian strain were in the forests. Think: wild boar. (Domestic pigs descend from an Oriental lineage.)

One pig runs away. Two pigs resist momentarily, then run. Three pigs kill the wolf and eat him. Get the message?
Kill them while their backs are turned, or they'll come back and gang up on you?
  #40  
Old 02-10-2015, 10:09 AM
MacLir MacLir is offline
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Kill them while their backs are turned, or they'll come back and gang up on you?
Close enough.

Could have been worse - look up the entelodonts. They were the Big Bad Pig.
  #41  
Old 02-10-2015, 01:40 PM
Wile E Wile E is offline
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The wolf had a fetish. He always wanted to be in drag as a Grandma and now this was his chance.
Again? Second thread today. Was I too wordy? Was it because I said Octogenarian? Or I'm just invisible. I must be on everyone's ignore list.
  #42  
Old 02-10-2015, 02:19 PM
watchwolf49 watchwolf49 is offline
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How trite ...
... nevermind Red bore the Woodcutter's son but six months later
... nevermind all the condos built on Grandma's property
... nevermind Red's villa overlooking Monaco

Blame the wolf ...
  #43  
Old 02-11-2015, 06:34 PM
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It's the big BAD wolf. There's nothing bad about a wolf eating a girl in the woods, that's just a wolf (well, if wolves actually ate people, but that's another discussion). But getting ahead of her, eating grandma, and then putting on her close, the better to utterly destroy Red? Now that is one Bad Wolf. The kind WHO's legend will span all of time and space. And he would have gotten away with it, if not for that meddling woodsman.
  #44  
Old 02-11-2015, 06:57 PM
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It's not about calories or nutrition. It's about sex. It's an allegory about how young women should be skeptical of young men (or men in general) because men want sexy sexy time.
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Old 02-11-2015, 07:10 PM
Wile E Wile E is offline
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It's not about calories or nutrition. It's about sex. It's an allegory about how young women should be skeptical of young men (or men in general) because men want sexy sexy time.
And they want to do it with Grandmas, too?
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Old 02-11-2015, 09:39 PM
The Second Stone The Second Stone is offline
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Yessiree.
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Old 02-11-2015, 11:29 PM
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Several posters have gotten near the truth.

It is a moral tale about young girls talking to strangers.

The "wolf" was not Canis lupus but H. sapiens. Yes, the idiom is that old.

If you read some of the old versions, it is more obvious (and a bit kinky in places )
I wish I could remember where but I read one analysis of the early versions of Red Riding Hood where the moral was religious with the Wolf being a thinly-disguised version of Satan.
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Old 02-11-2015, 11:57 PM
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I think I get it now. They made up the story of a wolf who eats grandma and wears her clothes because you want your daughter not to talk to men because they are homicidal cross-dressers and they're only interested in you because they want to kill your grandmother and wear her clothes. That makes perfect sense.
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Old 02-12-2015, 08:23 AM
Ethilrist Ethilrist is offline
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I think I get it now. They made up the story of a wolf who eats grandma and wears her clothes because you want your daughter not to talk to men because they are homicidal cross-dressers and they're only interested in you because they want to kill your grandmother and wear her clothes. That makes perfect sense.
That explains Silence of the Lambs...
  #50  
Old 02-12-2015, 10:23 AM
BrainGlutton BrainGlutton is offline
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Several of the old fairy tales have messages that are lost to the modern reader.
Indeed.

Last edited by BrainGlutton; 02-12-2015 at 10:24 AM.
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