“After 30, the people who are single are divorcees or people who are not married for a reason, so most of the time you will be picking from the reject bin.”
— Advice from an anonymous Slashdot poster, rated highly as “Insightful.”
Agree/disagree?
According to the Duck Dynasty dude, 20 is too late even. By then he says they’re all just gold diggers.
“They got to where they’re getting hard to find, mainly because these boys are waiting ‘til they get to be about 20 years old before they marry 'em,” Robertson said. “Look, you wait ‘til they get to be 20 years old the only picking that’s going to take place is your pocket. You got to marry these girls when they are about 15 or 16. They’ll pick your ducks."
My experience with the divorced man I married is that he came into it wiser than men who hadn’t been married, and housebroken to boot (well, mostly. He stole the afghan off my side of the bed this evening. I smacked him with a rolled-up newspaper.)
So I’m not sure what is inherently wrong with divorced people. If you’re lucky, they’ve learned something from the experience.
And may I point out that according to this article’s internal logic, if you haven’t married by 30, you’re in the reject bin. No need to get snotty about the company.
In a way its right. Most of the college educated men with a good job are married by age 30.
While I got married young, at almost 24, most of my friends got married - or the equivalent - in their early to mid-30s. I think that’s the trend these days, at least with educated professionals.
I think most people see that around age 30, its time to start thinking about getting married and starting a family. By 30 you should be done with school, got alot of your youthful craziness out of your system, moved out of your parents basement, and started into a career.
Besides your parents are likely closing in on 60 and asking for grandkids.
… if they are divorced by 30, wouldn’t they need to have been married in their 20s?
When I lived down south, I was the weirdo for not being married and/or not having kids by age 30!
Where I live now, there are a lot of unmarried people in my age group (mid 40s), no problem.
You have obviously have never had a daughter… if your premise is giving advice and expecting it to be followed!
Someone is math impaired. I’ve heard this “logic” all of my life and it’s never impressed me.
Most married couples are around the same age.
There are about equal numbers of men and women in the population.
Bigamy is not allowed, at least not in the United States.
Telling a woman to get married in her 20’s because “oh noes, men in their 30’s are all snatched up!” presumes that these men are getting hitched to…whom? Space aliens? For every woman that is single in her 30s, there is a man that is single too. Yes, the numbers of available men has grown smaller, but so has the competition pool.
And I also have to laugh at the divorce thing. These 30-something divorcees didn’t spring fully formed from Zeus’ head. They were born from 20-something marriages. In what world does it make sense to create more of these “damaged goods” by encouraging young marriage?
The advice to marry young (which is always dispensed to women) keeps young, pretty thangs anxious about waiting, so they will be more likely to glom on to a man and pop out babies rather than play the field, develop themselves, and refine their preferences in a mate.
…,
Classic bullshit. This line of thought is usually perpetuated by older married women who feel uncomfortable at young unattached women running around, undateable men hoping fear and desperation will drive some booty their way, and insecure housewives trying to convince themselves they made the right choice.
Late marriage is associated with lifelong increased earning power. Maybe one day things will change, men will pick up more of the housework, and it will make sense to get married earlier again. But right now marriage for women is often like picking up an unpaid second job.
Disagree. The reason for not marrying can be perfectly good, like if the people who they meet before that are like those who wrote that statement.
A friend of mine who married in her mid 20s, had three kids (now all grown) is still married to her husband. She’s always advocated early marriages because, from her viewpoint, the couple has a longer shot of developing together as a cohesive team – older couples, to her, don’t have that because they’re already developed their senses of self separately so when they come together, there isn’t cohesion as much as two separate individuals sharing living space and each other’s bodies.
I get what she’s saying but OTOH I’m not totally convinced. It’s an interesting theory, though.
My daughter was married at 22, and divorced 2 years later. I advised her to wait, but she knew better, didn’t she…
only go to slashdot and reddit if you’re seeking relationship advice from incels and gamergate trolls.
In another thread once upon a time, we discussed that single men in their 30’s & early 40’s were looking to date the women in their 20’s and early 30’s who, in turn, were interested because the guys were established and moved out of their mom’s basement. This in turn left the women in their 30’s and 40’s out in the cold, so to speak, since their “equal age” male pool was dating younger.
I’ve no idea what the real life dating situation looks like since I’m married and have been for years but it sounds as though you could make any argument you wanted and have some tenuous strand of ‘truth’ to it.
One person’s reject is another’s soul mate. Get married whenever the hell you feel like it.
I would like to think that as people get older, they mature, hopefully becoming wiser and more considerate, learning how to better get along with the people in their life. I got married at 35 (wife was 33 at the time); we will soon celebrate our tenth anniversary. As I compare how I relate to her and how I related to my girlfriends many years ago, I think I’m better than I used to be: more accomodating, more considerate. When I was in my 20s I didn’t want to get married, and I think that if I had to for any reason, it would not have been a happy/stable/enduring marriage. Not wanting to get married may have been a consequence of my being less accomodating/considerate than I am these days, which resulted in excessive conflict. With that kind of thing going on, who would want to get married???
Some people are ready for marriage in their 20s, but I don’t necessarily think that advising everyone to marry in their 20s is good advice.
Advise your daughter to "get married in [her] 20s."
I’d advise her to check her oil and be sure the spare isn’t flat. When she starts her family is not my business