There are always a couple of threads around about companies changing job offers after acceptance, but how many people have done the reverse?
One time during a long period of unemployment, I got an phone interview with an out of state company. First interview went well. the second phone interview went even better, even though I started to get a weird vibe, they were really pushing the “we are like a family here” really hard and kind of creepyish. After that interview they said they would talk it over, and let me know the next Monday. In the meantime I had an interview for a job that I didn’t really feel that good about, but I was pretty relaxed and it went very well. Then I got an interview set up on Tuesday for another job I didn’t think was quite right.
Well on Monday the out of state job offered, and I accepted. they started making the moving me across country plans. Then on tuesday job number two gave me an offer as I was driving to job 3. When I went into job 3 interview I was in a great mood and it turned out that job was perfect for me. And it was probably the best interview I ever had.
So I started to have major buyers remorse about accepting the out of state job. the pain of moving(to a city that didn’t sound like my style either) and the creepy vibe really started to eat at me. I hadn’t given an answer on job 2, but I played coy until hearing from job 3. If it came down to 1 or 2 it may have gone either way, but when job3 gave me an offer at higher pay and benefits for a job it was a no brainer.
But damn, did job 1 give me a guilt trip. “But it was all set, we had everything in place for you to come here with us” Like a bad breakup with a girlfriend. Intellectually I know it was the right decision. Any other decision would have been stupid. And I know from long experience that a job is a relationship of convenience, they will drop you if you don’t fit in their plans, to give more than that to them is absurd.
But still, to this day I do feel shitty about it in my heart. It is the only time in my life I have “Given my word” on a deal and backed out with no cause on their part. I just found someone better. But I do feel like I stained my honor permanently though.
Anybody else feel dirty like that too, or can you just turn off the guilt, “Nothing personal, just business”?
In professional (e.g. white collar corporate or academic) jobs, you don’t ‘accept’ the job until an offer letter detailing salary and compensation, terms of employment, et cetera, is provided and signed. A verbal offer or acceptance means exactly jack shit and can be rescinded at any time. From a practical standpoint, if you were to accept Job #1 only to find out that your reservations were justified, you’d soon be looking for another position, which would have put the company out both your moving costs and the investment of training and mentoring. While a candidate search is not cheap (typically $5k to $10k for a well-qualified junior candidate, more for a senior level person with specific skills) it is far less than the cost, effort, and frustration to bring in someone and bring them up to speed only to have them leave a year later. By passing on the uncertain job to take a position that you were well suited for (and that was apparently local) you served the interests of everyone involved even if they didn’t appreciate it at the time. And I say this as a former hiring manager who has both had candidates back out after indicating significant interest despite meeting their salary and benefit demands, and have had to reject well-qualified candidates because I knew they would not be satisfied in the role or opportunities for advancement, or that I could not offer their salary demand without throwing the salary structure for the rest of the department out of whack.
And be very, very wary of employers who use the “we’re family, why won’t you do ____ for me?” as an excuse for demanding extra effort, time, or responsibilities from you without commiserate compensation. When I was a manager, I was parentially protective and encouraging of my employees because it made them work together better and share their ideas and concerns more, but that didn’t mean that I expected them to stay in their positions forever or work above and beyond for zero compensation. When someone took another job to go elsewhere with better opportunities or a higher salary than I could get for them, I wished them well and offered a recommendation in line with the quality of work they performed.
I’ve done it twice. Most recently, it was while I was unemployed. I accepted an OK offer, but then I got a much better offer from a much better employer for a much better job (great place to work, I’d been trying to get hired there for many years, had lots of interviews, but hadn’t had any offers before this one). I felt bad for the recruiter if been working with, but there was simply no question about which job was the better fit for me.
The other time, I was working, but I was looking for a better job than the one I currently has. I’d been ambivalent about accepting the offer, and after I verbally accepted, I realized I’d made a mistake. The nature of the prospective employer was such that the duties of the new job simply COULDN’T differ significantly from the work I was doing. Further, the employer was a religiously-affiliated organization, and I felt that it was unlikely that I - being gay and not a follower of the most observant flavor of the target population - would every really be comfortable. Again, I am confident that I did the right thing. I just wish I hadn’t been so desperate to get out of my current job, because I would have made that decision much more quickly.
I’ve had it happen multiple times as an employer. Shit happens - it’s not personal. I’d rather find out earlier than after they’ve come on board. It does suck because you have to go through a certain amount of effort preparing for them. I don’t even ask HR to draft the offer letter until I get the verbal on the terms. HR needs to know what to put on the letter, and I’m sure as shit not going through the work again if they want to haggle. If they verbally agree to something, then I draft the letter, then something changes, they are dead to me.
No matter how much I like the candidate, once they decline - I tend to forget their names within a couple days.
I did once awhile ago. I was waiting for a offer from another company to come in so to stall for time, I asked them to send me their offer package. They said they wouldn’t send me a formal offer until I verbally accepted. I told them that I thought that was weird because how could I accept until I saw their entire offer?
Anyhow, I verbally accepted their offer then rescinded once the other offer came through. A couple months later, the company was acquired and the guy I interviewed with quit.
I wouldn’t feel bad. Any company would fire you in a heartbeat if their bottom line was threatened. You are YOUR own company. You have to look out for yourself.
From a company perspective, I never understood why anyone get’s upset when someone quits soon after starting. My viewpoint is, sure it’s tough you have to train someone again, but the bottom line is you never want anyone working for you, who doesn’t want to be there.
And if people are quitting your company right after starting, it serves as a great starting point for that company to reevaluate their company.
Bolding mine. My current employer operated the same way. So I told them I’d verbally accept their offer pending review of the written offer. This followed pretty heavy negotiations. It all checked out, but I also thought it was a little strange at the time. I assume they just don’t want to draft up a bunch of new letters as negotiations go on.
The closest thing for me was considering taking a position managing a tax office. We’d been talking about it for about three months, and I finally said “I’m going to need something in writing so I know exactly what I’m agreeing to.” It was not a surprise to me that the hourly base was less generous than promised, and the bulk of the bonus was entirely up to the owner’s discretion. When I said that wasn’t what we’d talked about and that I couldn’t accept it, I offered my two weeks resignation and she fired me on the spot… then spent the next two weeks calling me every day about stuff she didn’t know how to do. Dodged a bullet there!
I backed out of a job after two days work. I had just moved to the UK, and had a few interviews on the go. I rejected one job, took the second, with a company that did Internet marketing, and still had an interview with a third (a major IT services provider). So I worked my first day, and I was shown round the site. In the server room was a stack of laptops, 20 high. Red lights started flashing in my head.
Next day was my interview for the big IT company - I had explained that I needed the day off with the job. At the end of the day I had the recruitment agency tell me I should get an offer the next day in the morning. I also got a call from another recruiter, the one I had already turned down. He told me that his colleagues had all the laid off sales people (remember the laptops) on his books.
So I got the new offer on the Friday, accepted the new offer, signed it, and faxed it in. Walked in on Monday, and told my boss of 2 days I wasn’t prepared for the level of risk the company was running and I wasn’t a good fit. We shook hands and I walked out.
Then spent several weeks sitting at home sweating while my manager at the IT firm got me a site role. I was being paid, though. So that was pretty good.
The first job I got when I moved from Toronto to Montreal was for a local architect. Within the first two days not only did I discover that I was being paid less than my predecessor, the company was unable to cover the payroll that week and I was meant to start running around collecting accounts receivable to cover it having no clue who any of the clients were etc. Having already lived through a bankruptcy at my last job in Toronto I decided life was too short not to get paid on a regular basis and left at lunch on the second day. I’m sure they covered the payroll eventually and life went on but I wasn’t dealing with that kind of stress ever again!
After being contacted by a headhunter and having several phone conversations, I met with the director and ironed out the details. Everything seemed perfect. Then, about an hour after beginning my first day of employment, a woman approached me about scheduling a urine drug screen. I got my stuff together and went home.
It had never come up in our preemployment conversations that due a local government contract I would be subject to random drug screens. When I eventually answered my constantly ringing phone, I explained to the director that I wouldn’t have wasted their time had I known about the piss tests.
He told me he’d “take care of it”. Turns out “random” can be worked around. So, I accepted an offer, backed out, and reaccepted all in a three day period.
I never have, but as a hirer, I’ve had it done to me many, many times. The scenario is that I interview a candidate, offer him or her a position, and we agree on a start date that allows them to give two weeks’ notice at their present job. Then, at some point during those two weeks, I get a call or email saying they won’t be working for me after all, or less commonly, they simply never show up.
I think it’s usually down to one of two scenarios: either the person was applying and interviewing at multiple places and got a better offer than mine, which is totally understandable; or the person simply used my job offer to jack their present employer up for a raise, which is understandable as well but somehow far more irritating to me.
