DOPEFEST!!! Airman Doors Finally Earns his Title! And you can help...

[Lucretia]

Yes, our very own Airman Doors, is off to basic on the 22nd of August, and we, being his dear, dear friends, would be remiss if we did not do our best to render him comatose beforehand, thus enabling us to semi-permanently alter his appearance, making his first days in basic oh-so-much fun!

Failing that, we'll at least be having a heck of a sendoff party. It will be either the 18th or 19th of August. We are attmpting to come up with a suitable place (somewhere in MD, probably) but suggestions are appreciated.

So all of you MD/PA/DC/No.VA/anyone else who can make it Dopers, come on down (up?) and help initiate the soon-to-be newest member of our Air Force.

[Simetra]

Hey sweet! I'm too far away, but you have my best wishes AB Doors. Awww... someone's gonna be an Air Baby. Let's hear your reporting statement.

One final piece of advice... if you smoke, do not smoke a lot before you go figuring that you won't be smoking for a long time. <shudders as he remembers coughing up a black and bloody lung cookie while running the second day>

[Hamadryad]

I certainly won't be there. I found all of you slow and loathesome, and would not sully myself by associating further with any of you.

Oh no, wait...that was someone else.

Anyhow....about the smoking thing. They told my stepson (in the Army) that he was welcome to quit smoking, as long as he ran five extra miles every morning. He quit smoking.

And heck yeah, count me in if I can get there at all. I mean, Airman Doors is tolerable, I suppose.

[Hamadryad]

"If he wanted to KEEP smoking." Keep. As in continue.

And I say "I never preview" as if that were a GOOD thing...

And I sure hope anyone who met me understands my tone, and that I'm not actually dissing Airman Doors...

Fer cryin' out loud, why do I even get out of bed?

[Weirddave]

Sounds like fun. Dibs on shaving "I'm gay" into the back of his head.

[SkeptiJess]

Yeah, I think I can make this one... I think I'll go and root through my cosmetics stash in search of permanant toe-nail polish. In Air Force Pink, natch.

[Spritle]

originally sung by Arlo Guthrie
I had gotten good and drunk the night before so I looked and felt my best.

I'll check my calendar. I think the Spritle family gets back from vacation on the 18th so the 19th might be a possibility.

[Nocturne]

Like Simetra, I'm too far away, but make sure to pound him extra for me, okay?

You know I love you Dave!

[Simetra]

Jeez guys... "I am gay"? "Painted Toenails"? Why don't you just stick some soap in some socks and save him the trouble.

Just kidding AB Doors. The probably won't do that.*




_{*Not to scare or anything, but a group of guys in my flight did do that to one guy they thought was gay. They're intolerant morons tho', and I'm sure that one day, they'll get what they deserve.}

[Simetra]

Jeez guys... "I am gay"? "Painted Toenails"? Why don't you just stick some soap in some socks and save him the trouble.

Just kidding AB Doors. The probably won't do that.*




_{*Not to scare or anything, but a group of guys in my flight did do that to one guy they thought was gay. They're intolerant morons tho', and I'm sure that one day, they'll get what they deserve.}

[Vestal Blue]

Has anyone warned you about the square needle in the left nut yet? No? Beware!

And say hi to the Green Machine and confidence course for me. I was in the 3106th; a good squadron.

Best of luck to you, keed! I won't make the sendoff, but now I have the date, I'll raise a glass of 151 in your honour!

[RTFirefly]

I dibs tattooing little bunny rabbits on his back!

[andygirl]

If it's on the 19th, I'd be happy to attend.

[Airman Doors, USAF]

Oh, whatever you do, DON'T paint my toenails!

Seriously though, I am so looking forward to leaving. And this promises to be an amazing going away party, so I'm up for it. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone again, and meeting some of you that I've never met before.

Anyone for shots? Anyone?

If I'm gonna get drunk, I'm gonna do it right.

[iampunha]

I get dibs on his nose!

Yeah, I think I'll be there. And anyone who wants to bum a ride is welcome to do so (as soon as I secure a car for the occasion).

I know this is going to sound odd, but could we establish a general time soon, so I can hammer it into my head (literally), have people constantly remind me, and shave whatever time it is on my head?

Shots . . . sorry, Dave, but I don't drink. I'll chug root beer all night with you, though

[Pammipoo]

Maryland is a bit far away for me to make, but I'll be rooting for you babe. I'll be sure to send you something frilly and pink though, so you can remember me...hey, if I were to send you my watch, would you wear it? Now, if you guys wanna relocate to Massachusetts, then I might be able to make it....

Dave, I'm gonna miss you. And if you even get married while you're gone, just save me the heartbreak, and don't tell me

[Tranquilis]

If y'all can handle a stuffy old grump, I'd like to make an appearance. Gotta tell Airman about the Dental
Floss Spider and the other dangers of bootcamp.
_{Can't have him leaving in a comfortable frame of mind... Wouldn't be traditional...}

[Zappo]

Please, keep me posted as to when and where this will happen. I will be in and out of Castell Zappo throughout August but if I'm here when AD's sendoff happens, I'll be there!

I don't think the blanket party's a good idea, but wrapping his drunken bee-hind in a nice little number from Graves Registration and leaving him on a bus bench somewhere might be fun.

Yer pal,

Zappo

[Lucretia]

Okay, I think Sat, the 18th, would be best for this sort of get together, to allow Sunday for everyone to recuperate from whatever deviltry we come up with.

I'm thinking something along the lines of a pub crawl earlier on, then back to our starting location for further debauchery.

Weirddave has generously offered the use of his apartment, and so far that's the leading candidate for location, (at least starting and ending), unless someone else has any other suggestions.

So far, we have Hamadryad
Weirddave
Jess
Spritle(maybe)
RTFirefly
can you come on the 18th, andygirl?
of course, the guest of honor
iampunha
Tranquilis
Zappo
myself, and Bluesman


Anyone else? The more the merrier.

[Airman Doors, USAF]

Bump.

Doesn't anyone else want to meet the great Airman? Now's your chance.

And I'll be seeing the rest of you there. Is it gonna be on the 18th? Just let me know and I'm there.

[Rossarian]

Well I'll probably be occupied with the introduction of some new cadets into AFROTC here in NC, but I'll be sure to tip one back for our newest slick-sleeve. My advice: Don't do or wear anything that will for any reason bring any attention to you on the first day. People showing up in fancy clothes or weird haircuts soon become good friends with many cheerful people wearing Smokey the Bear hats.

[andygirl]

I can't make the 18th.

[purrplebear]

Howdy, AirmanDoors, from hot, sunny San Antonio. Yep, that's right. I live within spitting distance of Lackland AFB. <Not that I would ever do such a crass thing, mind you.> So, I can't make the party, but I'd be most happy to show you around our town whenever they let you out for a while. Or, you can come get a homecooked meal, complete with begging dog and cats and other assorted critters. Email me, and I'll be happy to send you our phone number to use any time you have some free time. Not that that will be anytime soon after you get here, of course.

The best advice I can give you is to treat all T.I.'s like God, for they think they are in your soon-to-be little world.<They're the ones with mirrors for shoes and belt buckles, and wearing those Smokey hats.> Drink copious amounts of water, all the time. August is the hottest month here, and believe me, when I say hot I mean 100+ temps are the norm. <In the shade, of course! >

{{{{{{Airman Doors}}}}}}

[Ice Wolf]

Can't be there in person, of course, but I can certainly wish you all the very best from afar, Airman. Make sure you keep us posted.

[iampunha]

The 18th is really not a good day for me (mom's company's annual picnic). But if it comes to it, I'm there.

[Lucretia]

Well, as truly unfortunate as it is that andygirl will not be able to attend, I really think that a Saturday is a better choice for a party of this nature than a Sunday.

Being as this is your party Airman, does a pub crawl through Fells point and then back to Dave's sound good to you? If it does, then I think that's what we will do.

So, whoever wants to join us for revelry and random cruelty, chime in!

[iampunha]

Okay. When will this thing be getting started?

I wonder how many weird looks I'll get for not drinking alcohol . . .

[Airman Doors, USAF]

A pub crawl through Fell's Point sounds great to me!

Dave, may I recommend a judicious purchase of trash bags so that when I drink you under the table you'll have something to puke in?

This is definitely shaping up to be a good time. I can't wait.

PS Punha, don't people look at you weird anyway?

[Weirddave]

Dave, may I recommend a judicious purchase of trash bags so that when I drink you under the table you'll have something to puke in?

In your dreams, kiddo. I've picked bigger men that you outta my stool. Were I still immature enough to engage in drinking games, you would be a week late for Basic.

[iampunha]

Originally posted by Weirddave
Were I still immature enough . . .

Read: Were I still young enough . . .

Airman, my friend . . . people may look at me weird, but at least they don't cross the street to get out of the way when they see me coming

[Tranquilis]

So, whoever wants to join us for revelry and random cruelty, chime in! [/b]

Ah, an old-fashioned pub-crawl! This should be Great!

[Lucretia]

Just a bump for those who may not have seen this, or who were waiting for final plans.

[Geobabe]

Chances are I won't be able to make it. I'm gonna have to work that night, and the show probably won't let out until late. So, barring an unforeseen miracle, I'm going to have to wish Airman Dave a happy sendoff remotely.

[Zappo]

Damn! I just got a memo from my boss informing me that my presence will be expected in Pittsburgh from August 15-21. I guess I'm out. Sorry.

In case I don't get to say so before you head off, take care Airman Doors. I'll be sure to face Fell's Point and raise a glass to you on the 18th.

Yer pal,

Zappo

[dcnewsman]

The 18th sounds good...pencil me in. And AD, make sure you get your car a tune-up first. Wouldn't want you to be late because you were sitting alone side of a road somewhere in Maryland.

[Airman Doors, USAF]

Originally posted by dcnewsman
The 18th sounds good...pencil me in. And AD, make sure you get your car a tune-up first. Wouldn't want you to be late because you were sitting alone side of a road somewhere in Maryland.

After spending yet another $500 on my car this week, I think it's safe to say that I'll make it.

I'm sorry you guys can't make it, Geo and Zappo. You'll be missed.

In the meantime, I'm rip roarin' ready to get piss ass drunk. I'm ALWAYS ready for that.

[dropzone]

Can't make it, but I'd like to congratulate the Bluebird. Remember--stars are UP, dirt is DOWN, and your instruments are more trustworthy than your senses.

[pldennison]

After conferring with Leigh-Anne, I'm in for this get-together, but she's gonna skip it. (Bars and Leigh-Anne do not get along at all.)

Airman, I'll bring along my best tequila and we'll set up and take down shots until you're crosseyed.

[JRDelirious]

Though due to distance I cannot possibly attend Airman Doors' send-off, as a one-time Baltimoron I heartily endorse the Fells Point Crawl, hon . And as former San Antonio-based military (Fort Sam) I wish him the best -- listen to purplebear, man, it's hellacious in South Texas in August, even though when it comes to the town it's next to, Lackland may be the 5 services' best-placed Basic, IMO.

Much success!

[Airman Doors, USAF]

And a bump on the final weekend so we can finalize plans.

Lucretia, when and where are we gonna meet? Just checking.

[Weirddave]

My take is to meet here, that way carpooling can abound, and more people will not have to watch their consumption later in the evening. All are welcome to crash here, too.

[Hamadryad]

Great....now I can't make it. My husband is driving my stepson back to his mother's house the 18th...and it's three hours there, three hours back. Even if I could hitch a lift with someone, I've got no one to watch my kids.

Damn and blast. Have a good one, Doors, and I'm really racked off that I have to miss this.

[Lucretia]

What Weirddave said. Say, around 7 pm? Dave, can you send directions to all those who have indicated interest?

[iampunha]

Okay. As anyone who has been reading this thread knows, I won't be drinking.

I figure most of y'all will.

I don't know right now how many seats I'll have available in my vehicle (I don't know if I'll have the SUV or the suburban yet). It'll be between three and five, and people are welcome to, like, lay back in the trunk or something (it's more of a seat area without seats, and I can bring pillows and such).

Nobody will be puking in whatever vehicle I bring. Nobody.

And just in case someone DOES . . . Dave, mind if I borrow a trash bag or two just in case? One of these vehicles will be used on the 22nd or so to take my sister to Notre Dame, and I don't think my parents want to smell doperpuke for the entire there and back ride . . .

[Lucretia]

A bump as we count down to the big day.

[Airman Doors, USAF]

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...threadid=82062

I need say no more. But I'm still looking forward to seeing everyone Saturday, even if it's not gonna turn out the way you had expected.

-Dave

[ExTank]

Count me in as a non-drinking transportation provider. Just remove any and all sharp, pointy things from the back pockets, please.

As well, my hotel room is 5 minutes from Dave's house, and I have a hide-a-way bed in the sofa in case anyone needs a crashzone for the night.

What time does the tort-, er, "festivities" begin?

[Lucretia]

Well, poop! What's the point in nairing off your eyebrows now?

Seriously, Bluesman and I are terribly sorry to hear that personell has decided to screw you over before you are even in. We are just going to have to get you nice and toasty in consolation on Saturday!

[gobear]

I turn 40 on the 18th and so will be busy mourning my imminent decrepitude, but my thoughts will be with y'all.

[iampunha]

I have the suburban, as you'll see when you read Dave's thread.

Seven dopers other than me can fit in that. Six other than Dave himself, who got shotgun by virtue of IMing me (SN's in my profile if you still wanna try and get me).