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  #1  
Old 05-23-2016, 05:38 PM
Emiliana Emiliana is offline
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Omnibus Trolls R Us Thread

For the Obvious Troll is Obvious award of the week, I'd like to nominate GlowingDarkness, in recognition of these fine efforts:

Do Nice Guys Ever Get the Sexy Time?

Why Do Drug Addicts Get All Addicted?

Christ Almighty, It was Only the One Rape!

Why Be People Sheeple?

I Met Her in a Club Down in Old Soho Where You Drink Champagne and It Tastes Just Like Cherry Cola

Okay, maybe they aren't all trolling threads. But overall it's an outstanding body of work. And these are only about half of the threads he's started recently.

(I realize that I may be the only person interested in an omnibus troll thread in the Pit. Hell, even I feel pretty half-hearted about the whole thing.)
  #2  
Old 05-23-2016, 06:13 PM
panache45 panache45 is offline
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And of course, this is definitely NOT a troll thread.
  #3  
Old 05-23-2016, 06:22 PM
Emiliana Emiliana is offline
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And of course, this is definitely NOT a troll thread.
You are correct. It is not a troll thread. It may be a stupid thread, of course.
  #4  
Old 05-23-2016, 09:27 PM
John Mace John Mace is offline
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For the Obvious Troll is Obvious award of the week, I'd like to nominate GlowingDarkness, in recognition of these fine efforts:
Total posts = 56
Threads started = 42

I think that says it all.

What do you guys think?
  #5  
Old 05-23-2016, 09:29 PM
running coach running coach is online now
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Total posts = 56
Threads started = 42

I think that says it all.

What do you guys think?
He's challenging boffking.
  #6  
Old 05-23-2016, 09:32 PM
John Mace John Mace is offline
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He's challenging boffking.
You read my mind!
  #7  
Old 05-23-2016, 10:28 PM
Richard Parker Richard Parker is offline
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There's a certain kind of trolling that is indistinguishable from mental illness. And I don't mean just that you cannot tell intent from the posts. I mean that if you actually got an honest interview with the poster, even if they subjectively thought they were a mentally balanced person trolling as a lark, in actuality they would have some kind of diagnosable mental illness.

I'm much less troubled by "trolls" who are obvious. It's the trolls who make an effort to hide below the radar and just selectively stir shit up or profess some insincere bullshit for fun that I think are annoying, since part of the value of the board is interacting with posters' actual beliefs.
  #8  
Old 05-24-2016, 04:11 PM
Morgenstern Morgenstern is online now
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Here's another one pinging my trolldar.

New member. May 2016
Typical trollish "personal dilema" thread as their first post.
Passive aggressive response style.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=793737

Last edited by Morgenstern; 05-24-2016 at 04:12 PM.
  #9  
Old 05-24-2016, 06:07 PM
Emiliana Emiliana is offline
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Originally Posted by Morgenstern View Post
Here's another one pinging my trolldar.

New member. May 2016
Typical trollish "personal dilema" thread as their first post.
Passive aggressive response style.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=793737
A definitive ping. Hmmm, how can I say something asinine about the military and Christianity at the same time? Eureka!
  #10  
Old 05-24-2016, 06:42 PM
guizot guizot is offline
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Originally Posted by John Mace View Post
Total posts = 56
Threads started = 42

I think that says it all.

What do you guys think?
(= .75) I think that's an excellent metric in general. It should appear next to one's post count. (And why not--they should call it the John Mace quotient, because you're the first to apply it, at least IME.)
  #11  
Old 05-24-2016, 06:59 PM
Ambivalid Ambivalid is offline
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Someone should pit spamforbrains. I don't believe any poster has ever been more consistently wrong than her. Bonus points for smugness too.
  #12  
Old 05-24-2016, 10:42 PM
Emiliana Emiliana is offline
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An addition to the collection:

Why don't people like pedophiles and wife beaters?
  #13  
Old 05-24-2016, 11:40 PM
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Someone should pit spamforbrains. I don't believe any poster has ever been more consistently wrong than her. Bonus points for smugness too.
But points for an accurate user name!
  #14  
Old 05-25-2016, 12:23 AM
Colibri Colibri is online now
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Someone should pit spamforbrains. I don't believe any poster has ever been more consistently wrong than her. Bonus points for smugness too.
I was amazed when she claimed to have a Ph.D., too.

Last edited by Colibri; 05-25-2016 at 12:23 AM.
  #15  
Old 05-25-2016, 12:35 AM
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If you click on the Nice Guys thread, you get a twofer. GlowingD's cluelessness and CCitizen, who (despite being repeatedly told it's bullshit) keeps stating variations of:
Quote:
Originally Posted by CCitizen View Post
Most men who have money can find a woman. Even most antifeminist men who have money will find a woman. PUAs are generally antifeminist and yet they find many women.

I am not looking for female friends until I will have a salary like $50K/year -- which I will never have.
  #16  
Old 05-25-2016, 03:58 AM
BigT BigT is online now
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I'm much less troubled by "trolls" who are obvious. It's the trolls who make an effort to hide below the radar and just selectively stir shit up or profess some insincere bullshit for fun that I think are annoying, since part of the value of the board is interacting with posters' actual beliefs.
Which is exactly why I like the idea of an omnibus thread for the obvious ones. You get a little mad, but not mad enough for a full pit thread.
  #17  
Old 05-25-2016, 04:10 AM
Grrr! Grrr! is offline
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Someone should pit spamforbrains. I don't believe any poster has ever been more consistently wrong than her. Bonus points for smugness too.

I believe adaher and spamforrains may be soul mates.
  #18  
Old 05-25-2016, 07:34 AM
Emiliana Emiliana is offline
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Originally Posted by digs View Post
If you click on the Nice Guys thread, you get a twofer. GlowingD's cluelessness and CCitizen, who (despite being repeatedly told it's bullshit) keeps stating variations of:
CCitizen is either a troll with a long game or a record on auto-replay. Hard to tell. Update music reference as appropriate.

Spamforbrains doesn't set off my troll-dar. Rings my WTF-dar all the time though.
  #19  
Old 05-25-2016, 08:14 AM
Telemark Telemark is online now
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And yet another entry Are blacks really screwing up Africa?
  #20  
Old 05-25-2016, 08:15 AM
kayaker kayaker is offline
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That was the one that did it for me.

Last edited by kayaker; 05-25-2016 at 08:15 AM.
  #21  
Old 05-25-2016, 08:21 AM
BubbaDog BubbaDog is offline
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So you're sure that it's not just that these people are idiots.

I must be charitable. I think idiots first, trolls second.
  #22  
Old 05-25-2016, 08:47 AM
kayaker kayaker is offline
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I must be charitable. I think idiots first, trolls second.
Where do you put artificial intelligence chat bots in your hierarchy?
  #23  
Old 05-25-2016, 09:04 AM
Morgenstern Morgenstern is online now
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Socks sake, cover your ankles.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...84&postcount=3
  #24  
Old 05-25-2016, 09:19 AM
digs digs is offline
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Where do you put artificial intelligence chat bots in your hierarchy?
I seem to be a magnet for students 'on the spectrum', and some of them have so little 'verbal socialization*' that they'd be indistinct from chatbots. In fact, looking through CCitizen's posts, he does ask a question relating to how an autistic person communicates.


*"Okay, I've compiled a list of all the ways that chimeras are superior to gryphons and don't even get me started on hippogriffs no this is a whole new list because it's on graph paper this time and I know you told me not to interrupt class to share these with everyone but look at the graph paper so this would require a different ruling from the bench and I KNOW this is the middle of class oh you're at the board in the middle of diagramming something but number 17 is flight because I should tell everyone in the school this one because a gryphon can fly techhhhnically but the wingspan would need to be immense because of the heavy muscular torso okay I'll sit down but I'll try to pass this list to all the popular kids and I'll have to get up to give it to Jessie Jablonski who always sits over by the windows WOO HOO graph paper rules! In your face, three hole punched college ruled!"
  #25  
Old 05-25-2016, 09:25 AM
Morgenstern Morgenstern is online now
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So you're sure that it's not just that these people are idiots.

I must be charitable. I think idiots first, trolls second.
Actually, there's a third class too. Those whose posts contain more Broomfiction than fact. They aren't trolling as much as using their Broomagination to create Broomtales. Of course, I'd never mention who that poster was. The point is, this trolling isn't offensive or obnoxious so we sort of give them a pass on it.

Last edited by Morgenstern; 05-25-2016 at 09:28 AM.
  #26  
Old 05-25-2016, 10:16 AM
Azeotrope Azeotrope is offline
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Where do you put artificial intelligence chat bots in your hierarchy?
Slightly above 133+speakers but just below there's this girl who goes to my church and every time I go to talk to her she avoids me, and when I tried to ask her why on Facebook she blocked me. I'm the only one she does this to, because there's a whole group of girls from my church who get together after church every week for sushi and she invited all of them to her wedding in the park except me, and when I tried to ask her why on Facebook she blocked me after posting a nasty message about how I lied about liking sushi. Why would I lie about liking sushi? Also the barrista at Starbucks wouldn't give me a refund on my venti soy chestnut latte because all the sprinkles sank to the bottom so I thought I didn't get any after I asked for them special.
  #27  
Old 05-25-2016, 10:21 AM
running coach running coach is online now
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Actually, there's a third class too. Those whose posts contain more Broomfiction than fact. They aren't trolling as much as using their Broomagination to create Broomtales. Of course, I'd never mention who that poster was. The point is, this trolling isn't offensive or obnoxious so we sort of give them a pass on it.
You're done.
  #28  
Old 05-25-2016, 10:24 AM
John Mace John Mace is offline
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But points for an accurate user name!
Oh, how tempting to post that in one of the other forums. So tempting!!

Our troll in the OP has now hit the jackpot with this:

If Europeans had settled in Africa, would they have done a better job than current Africans?

Just asking questions!!
  #29  
Old 05-25-2016, 10:24 AM
wolfpup wolfpup is offline
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He's challenging boffking.
Does he ever return to his own threads?

Not being a fan of the GlowingDarkness oeuvre, I can't say, but surely with such an awesome thread-to-post ratio -- noted above as being 0.75 (sometimes known as the John Mace Quotient in honor of its inventor) -- our luminescent friend apparently wastes little time posting either in his own threads or anyone else's, and merely busies himself starting threads, somewhat like a write-only trollbot. To add to the magnificent collection already cited, the latest write-only achievement in philosophical rumination is "why is pain painful?" an inquiry that I can only imagine was inspired by how we all feel when reading his magnificently abundant threads.

But no, he's not challenging boffking, he is head and shoulders above boffking, who with 451 threads and 1252 posts has a relatively lowly JMQ of just 0.36. But to give boffking credit, most of those posts are in other people's threads. Like the inimitable GlowingDarkness, he has very little interest in his own work. Perhaps it's a form of artistic modesty.
  #30  
Old 05-25-2016, 10:29 AM
running coach running coach is online now
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Does he ever return to his own threads?
A few weeks ago, I looked at his last 100 threads he started.

100 threads
24 he returned to for a total of 37 extra posts. (beyond the OP)

His best was 5 extra posts in one thread but he also had a thread he never returned to that had 420 replies.
  #31  
Old 05-25-2016, 11:51 AM
John Mace John Mace is offline
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Does he ever return to his own threads?

Not being a fan of the GlowingDarkness oeuvre, I can't say, but surely with such an awesome thread-to-post ratio -- noted above as being 0.75 (sometimes known as the John Mace Quotient in honor of its inventor) -- our luminescent friend apparently wastes little time posting either in his own threads or anyone else's, and merely busies himself starting threads, somewhat like a write-only trollbot. To add to the magnificent collection already cited, the latest write-only achievement in philosophical rumination is "why is pain painful?" an inquiry that I can only imagine was inspired by how we all feel when reading his magnificently abundant threads.

But no, he's not challenging boffking, he is head and shoulders above boffking, who with 451 threads and 1252 posts has a relatively lowly JMQ of just 0.36. But to give boffking credit, most of those posts are in other people's threads. Like the inimitable GlowingDarkness, he has very little interest in his own work. Perhaps it's a form of artistic modesty.
I think boffking had quite a few posts years ago then a blank period. And then returned recently in his latest incarnation. So a more accurate look at the latter might produce a different mathematical result.

Posting from my phone right now so I'm not really in a position to check that.
  #32  
Old 05-25-2016, 01:01 PM
Telemark Telemark is online now
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I think boffking had quite a few posts years ago then a blank period. And then returned recently in his latest incarnation. So a more accurate look at the latter might produce a different mathematical result.
Perhaps a new metric is needed: # threads never returned to (TNRT) over total threads started (TTS).

Boffking returned to a few threads that apparently he was very passionate about (ignoring any questions or corrections to his scattered OPs) while leaving orphan the majority of his JAQ threads.
  #33  
Old 05-25-2016, 01:14 PM
John Mace John Mace is offline
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Perhaps a new metric is needed: # threads never returned to (TNRT) over total threads started (TTS).

Boffking returned to a few threads that apparently he was very passionate about (ignoring any questions or corrections to his scattered OPs) while leaving orphan the majority of his JAQ threads.
A worthy refinement!
  #34  
Old 05-25-2016, 01:42 PM
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A few weeks ago, I looked at his last 100 threads he started.

100 threads
24 he returned to for a total of 37 extra posts. (beyond the OP)

His best was 5 extra posts in one thread but he also had a thread he never returned to that had 420 replies.
Time to get a hobby or maybe a pet.
  #35  
Old 05-25-2016, 02:12 PM
running coach running coach is online now
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Time to get a hobby or maybe a pet.
We have pets.
This is a hobby.
  #36  
Old 05-25-2016, 02:29 PM
EinsteinsHund EinsteinsHund is offline
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Time to get a hobby or maybe a pet.
Ah, come on, amusing oneself with self-made petty statistics has always been a regular pastime for at least 63 percent of dopers.
  #37  
Old 05-25-2016, 02:41 PM
running coach running coach is online now
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Ah, come on, amusing oneself with self-made petty statistics has always been a regular pastime for at least 63 percent of dopers.
Actually, there was a thread where several were complaining about his lack of participation and in a fit of idle curiosity, I took a look to see if it was a valid complaint.
  #38  
Old 05-25-2016, 03:23 PM
Morgenstern Morgenstern is online now
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Ah, come on, amusing oneself with self-made petty statistics has always been a regular pastime for at least 63 percent of dopers.
63.4875% actually.
  #39  
Old 05-25-2016, 03:28 PM
EinsteinsHund EinsteinsHund is offline
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Actually, there was a thread where several were complaining about his lack of participation and in a fit of idle curiosity, I took a look to see if it was a valid complaint.
Sorry, it wasn't meant as a shot at you, just a general quip .
  #40  
Old 05-25-2016, 03:30 PM
kayaker kayaker is offline
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Actually, there was a thread where several were complaining about his lack of participation and in a fit of idle curiosity, I took a look to see if it was a valid complaint.
The statistics were interesting, thanks!
  #41  
Old 05-25-2016, 04:59 PM
Emiliana Emiliana is offline
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Oh dear God.

Anyone want to bet on what's next? Circumcision? Declawing your cats? Another troll did that recently. Do Spoilers Really Ruin Game of Thrones?
  #42  
Old 05-25-2016, 05:29 PM
Sunny Daze Sunny Daze is online now
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Oh, how tempting to post that in one of the other forums. So tempting!!

Our troll in the OP has now hit the jackpot with this:

If Europeans had settled in Africa, would they have done a better job than current Africans?

Just asking questions!!
This is the one that caught my eye. At what point do we (meaning the PTB) pull the plug?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Emiliana View Post
Oh dear God.

Anyone want to bet on what's next? Circumcision? Declawing your cats? Another troll did that recently. Do Spoilers Really Ruin Game of Thrones?
bolding mine

Now look what you've done. Heads are spinning like tops.

Last edited by Sunny Daze; 05-25-2016 at 05:30 PM.
  #43  
Old 05-25-2016, 05:34 PM
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Yep, one mention of spoilers and then it's Katie hold the door.
  #44  
Old 05-25-2016, 05:59 PM
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It's "Katie bar the door". Which is to say, I see what you did there. And so did Baby Jesus. If I get to Hell first, I'll save you a spot.

Last edited by elucidator; 05-25-2016 at 06:00 PM.
  #45  
Old 05-25-2016, 06:31 PM
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So you're sure that it's not just that these people are idiots.

I must be charitable. I think idiots first, trolls second.
Hanson's razor - "Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity."
  #46  
Old 05-25-2016, 06:47 PM
John Mace John Mace is offline
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Hanson's razor - "Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity."
Yeah, there are trolls that purposely try and tweak people, and then there are the idiots who find a button and see that pushing the button makes the puppets dance. Then they try another button and see that the puppets dance again. And then on to the next button...
  #47  
Old 05-25-2016, 07:42 PM
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Hanson's razor - "Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity."
Trolling is one example where that doesn't really work--since the trolls have every reason to try and hide that way.

Hell, that's the entire modus operandi of a rather famous professional troll that I saw featured not long ago.
  #48  
Old 05-25-2016, 08:25 PM
madsircool madsircool is offline
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We need more trolls like him.
  #49  
Old 05-25-2016, 09:14 PM
Morgenstern Morgenstern is online now
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He's back.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=794036

12 beers and 7 hot dogs later, he waddles over to his computer and found the bookmark for the SDMB.
  #50  
Old 05-25-2016, 10:27 PM
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...
featured
...
That is some pretty damn funny shit right there! SDMB could use some trolls like that.
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