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Old 10-19-2007, 05:45 AM
noblebaron noblebaron is offline
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Do Sex Therapists Have Sex With You?

Are there any sex therapists who actually engage in one-on-one private sex therapy with their clients?

I'm thinking of a professional setting where the therapist actually physically engages the client in a therapeutic setting.

On a side note, I'm looking for a preferably older, experienced woman to teach me all about tantric lovemaking. Does anyone do this professionally (NOT an escort!), or does one simply have to find a regular partner and get the books out, so to speak?

Just curious.

-NB
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  #2  
Old 10-19-2007, 06:00 AM
noblebaron noblebaron is offline
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Has anyone ever seen the movie Bliss?

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118742/

(this kind of therapist.)

Last edited by noblebaron; 10-19-2007 at 06:00 AM.
  #3  
Old 10-19-2007, 06:00 AM
Mangetout Mangetout is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by noblebaron
Are there any sex therapists who actually engage in one-on-one private sex therapy with their clients?

I'm thinking of a professional setting where the therapist actually physically engages the client in a therapeutic setting.
I'm struggling to imagine a context in which:
- Someone would require sex therapy
- Having sex with a stranger wouldn't aggravate that requirement further.
  #4  
Old 10-19-2007, 06:02 AM
noblebaron noblebaron is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mangetout
I'm struggling to imagine a context in which:
- Someone would require sex therapy
- Having sex with a stranger wouldn't aggravate that requirement further.
I wasn't actually thinking of the person who is seeking therapy being in a current relationship. Client is single.
  #5  
Old 10-19-2007, 06:08 AM
Mangetout Mangetout is offline
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Originally Posted by noblebaron
I wasn't actually thinking of the person who is seeking therapy being in a current relationship. Client is single.
Don't see how that makes a lot of difference. How is such an abnormal sexual relationship supposed to be therapeutic?
  #6  
Old 10-19-2007, 06:16 AM
noblebaron noblebaron is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mangetout
Don't see how that makes a lot of difference. How is such an abnormal sexual relationship supposed to be therapeutic?
Couldn't a tantric master assist the client with their sexual healing (undoing blocks) and thereby help the client become better at love making?
  #7  
Old 10-19-2007, 06:17 AM
Left Hand of Dorkness Left Hand of Dorkness is online now
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I read an article on Salon, I think, many years ago about exactly this kind of therapist. They mostly worked with men in their thirties who had never had sex due to terminal awkwardness around women and something approaching a phobia of sex (not exactly a phobia, given its ties to their desire to have sex). Not all the therapists went all the way with every client--it sounded as if it were a judgment call for each therapist how far to go--but the basic idea was that they would help the guys get over their terror of women and learn some basic courtship behaviors, up to and including how to behave once clothes started coming off.

Daniel
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Old 10-19-2007, 06:18 AM
Mangetout Mangetout is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by noblebaron
Couldn't a tantric master assist the client with their sexual healing (undoing blocks) and thereby help the client become better at love making?
You appear to know more about this than me, so I'll leave you to it. Good luck.
  #9  
Old 10-19-2007, 06:25 AM
Argent Towers Argent Towers is offline
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I think they have a word for this: prostitute!
  #10  
Old 10-19-2007, 06:35 AM
aruvqan aruvqan is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mangetout
Don't see how that makes a lot of difference. How is such an abnormal sexual relationship supposed to be therapeutic?
Well, I could see a guy with premature ejaculation working on techniques to not pop off so fast. I can see a woman who can not orgasm because of embarassment being able to work through it with a therapist rather than a lover. I could see someone who is curious about different techniques wanting to learn with a therapist who knows how to do something specific.
  #11  
Old 10-19-2007, 06:41 AM
noblebaron noblebaron is offline
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I found an interesting page that touches on the subject:

http://www.sacredsexuality.us/healing/index.html

As outlined in the above page, in certain settings there can be a sex therapist who works with the client in conjunction with a "sex surrogate"; presumably with whom the client practices techniques as directed by the therapist.
  #12  
Old 10-19-2007, 06:52 AM
Marienee Marienee is offline
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The technique of using a sex surrogate as part of sex therapy was popularized at least by Masters and Johnson in the 70s. How often it is still used I do not know.

I do know that sex surrogates are sometimes called in for situations where a person becomes disabled, for exmple.
  #13  
Old 10-19-2007, 07:02 AM
shijinn shijinn is offline
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i need sexual heeeealing!
  #14  
Old 10-19-2007, 07:08 AM
don't ask don't ask is online now
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It used to be, if not common, at least not shock-horror unbelievable in the 70s and 80s. As usual wikipedia has just enough information.
  #15  
Old 10-19-2007, 07:33 AM
plnnr plnnr is offline
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The type of relationship you're envisioning would run counter to the code of professional ethics that any licensed therapist is sworn to uphold. Additionally, it wouldn't be therapeutic to have a sexual relationship with your therapist - you're just trading one set of problems for another.

All of this according to my wife, who is a licensed professional psychotherapist.
  #16  
Old 10-19-2007, 08:08 AM
Chez Guevara Chez Guevara is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marienee
The technique of using a sex surrogate as part of sex therapy was popularized at least by Masters and Johnson in the 70s.
Are you sure it wasn't Bush and Johnson?
  #17  
Old 10-19-2007, 08:13 AM
vetbridge vetbridge is offline
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Would it be covered by most medical insurance plans? Would it be tax deductible?
  #18  
Old 10-19-2007, 12:33 PM
outlierrn outlierrn is online now
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submitted without comment

http://www.surrogatetherapy.org/
  #19  
Old 10-19-2007, 12:39 PM
Freudian Slit Freudian Slit is offline
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submitted without comment

http://www.surrogatetherapy.org/
I learned about this in a psychology of sex class, but we were taught it was used in the context of people who were disabled. That is, they could "hire" someone to have sex with them, explore their sexuality, for a few sessions. It seems a bit oogy, but apparently is on the level.
  #20  
Old 10-19-2007, 12:54 PM
hajario hajario is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Left Hand of Dorkness
I read an article on Salon, I think, many years ago about exactly this kind of therapist. They mostly worked with men in their thirties who had never had sex due to terminal awkwardness around women and something approaching a phobia of sex (not exactly a phobia, given its ties to their desire to have sex). Not all the therapists went all the way with every client--it sounded as if it were a judgment call for each therapist how far to go--but the basic idea was that they would help the guys get over their terror of women and learn some basic courtship behaviors, up to and including how to behave once clothes started coming off.
Years ago my Mom had a friend who was a "sexual surrogate." As I was told, it went exactly as LHoD described above.
  #21  
Old 10-19-2007, 12:54 PM
Diogenes the Cynic Diogenes the Cynic is offline
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Even if a full contact surrogate could be found (which I think is doubtful), I doubt that tantric sex lessons would count as any kind of legitimate clinical "therapy."
  #22  
Old 10-19-2007, 01:15 PM
Antinor01 Antinor01 is offline
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I read through parts of that and didn't see this, but how exactly is this not prostitution?
  #23  
Old 10-19-2007, 03:04 PM
chaoticbear chaoticbear is offline
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I know someone back home who does this. He cuts hair as a real business, and offers tantric therapy as a side business. It's not prostitution for him, because he doesn't charge a fee. You just pay him what you feel that the session was worth. However, this might have been a ruse to get the young handsome guy in bed. FWIW, I saw him advertise a couple of times in some local gay messageboards/Yahoo groups.
  #24  
Old 10-19-2007, 06:29 PM
fluffyemu fluffyemu is offline
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Do most "sex therapists" have sex with their clients? No. Most self-declared "sex therapists" try to approach sexual problems and stumbling blocks from a psychological perspective. Most of them deal with couples and offer suggestions, compromises, etc. So when you hear the term "sex therapist," it usually isn't any more exciting than sitting in a room with a psychologist and talking about sexual problems - maybe with some sort of sex products to take home and try.

That said, sexual surrogates DO exist, but they're not what you're most likely referring to when you use the word "sex therapist." The legitimate ones - as opposed to glorified escorts - are utilized for extreme cases. There was a recurring character on Boston Legal who was a sexual surrogate and took a very serious approach to helping a somewhat mentally disturbed man whose closest companion was a life-sized doll. It isn't unlike phobia therapy; slowly exposing your patient to the circumstances that create anxiety. Little known fact; your body starts losing its ability to remain anxious in most situations within 20 minutes, which is why a lot of psychologists make you look at a picture of a spider until your body gives up freaking out over it.

In short, legitimate sexual surrogates do exist, but they're rare and a legal gray area. If you're deathly afraid of women or have a psychological block against sex that greatly impairs your sex life, it might be beneficial to see one. If you have issues with premature ejaculation, a sex therapist can give you exercises to help you with control. If you want to learn the Kama Sutra, however, you'd be better off going to the Bunny Ranch.
  #25  
Old 10-19-2007, 06:39 PM
vetbridge vetbridge is offline
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Sorry, but if your "session" has a "happy ending" then I have a hard time viewing the "provider" of service as a "therapist".
  #26  
Old 10-20-2007, 12:21 AM
Vinyl Turnip Vinyl Turnip is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chaoticbear
I know someone back home who does this. He cuts hair as a real business, and offers tantric therapy as a side business. It's not prostitution for him, because he doesn't charge a fee. You just pay him what you feel that the session was worth.
I recall an episode of COPS where an undercover officer picked up a young freelance therapist on the roadside and gave her a ride. She quickly offered to have sex with the officer gratis because she could instantly feel a connection, and simply requested he loan her some money, completely unrelated to the sex act, to cover some unspecified necessities of hers.

She was arrested along with the other hookers.
  #27  
Old 06-25-2016, 11:22 AM
DrRon DrRon is offline
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Response...do sex therapists have sex with you

Hi Noblebaron.

This is a response to your question: do sex therapists have sex with you.
Legitimate sex therapists are licensed mental health professionals who are certified by
a national organization such as AASECT. I am a Sex Therapy Diplomate(AASECT), a licensed psychologist and am forbidden by law and ethics to engage in sexual contact with my patients. I would very promptly lose my license and certification and, in some states, might land in jail.
There are non legitimate "Sex Therapists" in some areas not regulated who may or may not engage with you sexually. There are allied professions: Sexual Surrogates, and Sexological
Body workers who are trained and certified and who may touch you in sexual ways, although their legality is questionable in some states. There are also teachers of Tantra
some of whom are certified professionals and some who my operate without benefit
of license or legitimate certification. You can do web searches for certifying organizations.
If your "sex therapist" is not licensed or certified by a legitimate national organization, then practice due diligence and caution.
Ron Feintech, PhD
Sex Therapy Diplomate, AASECT
  #28  
Old 06-25-2016, 01:25 PM
Exapno Mapcase Exapno Mapcase is offline
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DrRon, anybody with good information is welcome on the Dope. Thanks for a knowledgeable response.

But noblebaron started this thread in 2007 and hasn't posted here since 2008. That's the problem with so-called zombie threads. The information isn't likely to get to the person who requested it.
  #29  
Old 06-25-2016, 03:21 PM
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Yeah, sex between a client and a "legitimate sex therapists [that] are licensed mental health professionals" can be viewed by the courts as "non-consensual" ... thus subject to first-degree rape charges. So that would be one hell of a lot of time in jail.
  #30  
Old 06-25-2016, 06:43 PM
Mister Rik Mister Rik is offline
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Cracked did an article on this last month:

http://www.cracked.com/personal-expe...surrogacy.html
  #31  
Old 06-25-2016, 07:39 PM
Exapno Mapcase Exapno Mapcase is offline
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Originally Posted by watchwolf49 View Post
Yeah, sex between a client and a "legitimate sex therapists [that] are licensed mental health professionals" can be viewed by the courts as "non-consensual" ... thus subject to first-degree rape charges. So that would be one hell of a lot of time in jail.
How about a cite for that?
  #32  
Old 06-25-2016, 07:45 PM
syncrolecyne syncrolecyne is offline
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Isn't the Helen Hunt film "The Sessions" based on a true incidence of this?
  #33  
Old 06-25-2016, 07:54 PM
dropzone dropzone is online now
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Originally Posted by noblebaron View Post
Do Sex Therapists Have Sex With You?
With you? Not in 2007 and not now. I suggest you expand your requirements for a girlfriend and become less of a guy without a girlfriend. Fake it 'til you make it.
  #34  
Old 06-25-2016, 08:22 PM
nearwildheaven nearwildheaven is offline
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Originally Posted by syncrolecyne View Post
Isn't the Helen Hunt film "The Sessions" based on a true incidence of this?
Yes, it is. No zombies were used in the film's production, either.
  #35  
Old 06-25-2016, 08:38 PM
Loach Loach is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by watchwolf49 View Post
Yeah, sex between a client and a "legitimate sex therapists [that] are licensed mental health professionals" can be viewed by the courts as "non-consensual" ... thus subject to first-degree rape charges. So that would be one hell of a lot of time in jail.
Yeah I would like to see a cite too. I know in my state the victim would have to have a mental defect which would keep them from understanding the nature of the act. Just going to a therapist does not come remotely close to that

Last edited by Loach; 06-25-2016 at 08:38 PM.
  #36  
Old 06-26-2016, 07:29 PM
bobkitty bobkitty is online now
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Yeah I would like to see a cite too. I know in my state the victim would have to have a mental defect which would keep them from understanding the nature of the act. Just going to a therapist does not come remotely close to that
It's not rape, but it is illegal. Here's a CA cite: http://www.dca.ca.gov/publications/p...shtml#criminal

Quote:
The law makes it a crime for a therapist to have sexual contact with a patient. For a first offense with only one victim, an offender would probably be charged with a misdemeanor. For this charge, the penalty may be a sentence of up to one year in county jail, or up to $1,000 in fines, or both. Second and following offenses, or offenses with more than one victim, may be misdemeanors or felonies. The penalty in such felony cases can be up to three years in prison, or up to $10,000 in fines, or both.

This law applies to two situations:

The therapist has sexual contact with a patient during therapy, or
The therapist ends therapy primarily to start having sexual contact with the patient (unless the therapist has referred the patient to an independent and objective therapist who has been recommended by a third-party therapist).
It's a crime in GA as well; over the years I had three coworkers who were charged with having sex with their patients. IIRC it fell under sexual exploitation.
  #37  
Old 06-26-2016, 07:34 PM
HeXen HeXen is offline
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So you basically need a professional hooker right? Or a kinky g/f?
  #38  
Old 06-26-2016, 07:54 PM
Exapno Mapcase Exapno Mapcase is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bobkitty View Post
It's not rape, but it is illegal. Here's a CA cite: http://www.dca.ca.gov/publications/p...shtml#criminal
That Cracked article cited by Mister Rik said:
Quote:
But since 2003, sexual surrogacy has been essentially legal, though very much unregulated (the practice, of course, existed long before then). California's state attorney general summed the rules up as, "If it's between consensual adults and referred by licensed therapists and doesn't involve minors, then it's not illegal."
The quote is from a guy who wrote a book on the subject, which may be worthwhile. OTOH, the guy is a Cracked editor...
  #39  
Old 06-27-2016, 07:01 AM
bardos bardos is offline
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I am not exactly sure about what you (OP) are looking for. You are speaking about two opposite poles in your original message. Tantric Sex is a whole nother animal, light years removed from sex therapy.

At first, it is best studied in books, not just chatted about with folks who have zero knowledge but like the terminology because the word "sex" is used. The first thing might be to acquire a right understanding of what it is and what it requires, its history, what its goals, aims and purposes might be. As far as my knowledge goes, this is in no way a "profession", but a means to an end. One's tantra partner should be chosen very carefully. Not in the Yellow Pages.

As far as assistance in learning about tantra, what you should be looking for is what is called in the trade "a school" where tantric sex may be an option to be studied, learnt about and perhaps practised if you find an adequate partner, someone equally dedicated.

If you PM me, I might be able to recommend a book which I myself consider the definitive work on this subject. Others' mileage may vary. Saludos
  #40  
Old 06-27-2016, 07:15 AM
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Do zombies have sex with you?
  #41  
Old 06-27-2016, 10:29 AM
Crazyhorse Crazyhorse is offline
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Originally Posted by Siam Sam View Post
Do zombies have sex with you?
Bravo! Hilarious.

Did you come up with this all by yourself or hire a professional comedy writer?
  #42  
Old 06-27-2016, 10:32 AM
Siam Sam Siam Sam is offline
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Just be sure to tip your waiter or waitress.
  #43  
Old 06-27-2016, 11:14 AM
bobkitty bobkitty is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Exapno Mapcase View Post
That Cracked article cited by Mister Rik said:

The quote is from a guy who wrote a book on the subject, which may be worthwhile. OTOH, the guy is a Cracked editor...
I missed the part in the original quote by watchwolf that included "sex therapist"- I was going by the next line regarding "licensed mental health professionals." Completely different animal- LMHPs should not be having sex with their clients. Licensed sex therapists are good to go based on their state law.
  #44  
Old 06-29-2016, 06:54 AM
Isilder Isilder is offline
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Originally Posted by don't ask View Post
It used to be, if not common, at least not shock-horror unbelievable in the 70s and 80s. As usual wikipedia has just enough information.

Well, the answer that is missing there is, "How does a sex surrogate differ from a prostitute ?", well that question AND its ANSWER is missing...
  #45  
Old 06-29-2016, 09:01 AM
BubbaDog BubbaDog is offline
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Bravo! Hilarious.

Did you come up with this all by yourself or hire a professional comedy writer?
Considering the fact that the post above Siam Sam's suggested that the OP who hasn't posted in 8 years PM them it was comedy gold.
  #46  
Old 06-29-2016, 09:50 AM
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I have heard about such therapists when working with the disabled.

Consider a young couple, both with issues like down syndrome or maybe another disability, who have gotten "married" but have no experience with sex. Well they hire a therapist (not sure if its a sex therapist or a physical therapist - keep with me here) who will go into the bedroom and teach them how to touch and pleasure their new partner. Without such a person the couple never has a satisfactory sexual experience which could lead to anger and frustration and breaking up the relationship. Think about how if say a a young man would stick his finger is his wifes vagina when she is not ready would be very painful for her.

So in some ways with certain populations its not different than any other form of training or physical therapy than say learning to brush your teeth correctly.
  #47  
Old 06-29-2016, 10:13 AM
duncs duncs is offline
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Bravo! Hilarious.

Did you come up with this all by yourself or hire a professional comedy writer?
do professional comedy writers have sex with you?
  #48  
Old 06-29-2016, 10:20 AM
Exapno Mapcase Exapno Mapcase is offline
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Well, the answer that is missing there is, "How does a sex surrogate differ from a prostitute ?", well that question AND its ANSWER is missing...
Yes, that's a bad page. The answer is that if the state licenses a sexual surrogate, the state will not turn around and arrest the surrogate for doing an officially sanctioned act.
  #49  
Old 06-29-2016, 07:02 PM
Siam Sam Siam Sam is offline
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Wasn't there a recently acclaimed film centering on a sex therapist and a handicapped man? I mean in the past few years. Maybe even garnered an acting nomination?
  #50  
Old 06-29-2016, 09:07 PM
Exapno Mapcase Exapno Mapcase is offline
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Wasn't there a recently acclaimed film centering on a sex therapist and a handicapped man? I mean in the past few years. Maybe even garnered an acting nomination?
Perhaps this one?
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