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  #101  
Old 01-13-2017, 12:32 PM
cochrane cochrane is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sam Spayed PI View Post
In the good old days, it used to be quite common for people to steal car antennae (why, I can't tell you). Consequently, it was also quite common for people to replace their antennae with wire coat hangers (which work remarkably well, actually).

Since my dad parked our car on the street in New York City, it wasn't long before the antenna was snapped off, so he replaced it with a coat hanger.

Someone stole the coat hanger.
Most of the time people steal antennas just to be dicks. Like hitting mailboxes with a baseball bat. Sometimes they use them for weapons. You can do some damage hitting someone with an antenna. I understand they can also be used for crack pipes.
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  #102  
Old 01-13-2017, 01:04 PM
nearwildheaven nearwildheaven is online now
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Originally Posted by Mean Mr. Mustard View Post
I guess you could say he had issues.


mmm
(rimshot)

My ex-boyfriend's house was broken into. They knew it had to be someone they knew, because he and his roommate had two big dogs - and the only thing missing was his roommate's weed, which he stored in his tackle box.



No, they didn't call the police.
  #103  
Old 01-13-2017, 01:23 PM
eschereal eschereal is online now
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Originally Posted by Doctor Jackson View Post
But who among us has not taken a shower at some point? First stone and all...
I knew a guy who took a bath. Had something to do with a real estate deal.
  #104  
Old 01-13-2017, 01:59 PM
Just Asking Questions Just Asking Questions is offline
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I came back from a movie to find that someone had emptied their ashtray and dumped it into the bed of my pickup. I guess they'd taken the time to clean out their car, because there was some other stuff, including old bills. Which had their address.

So I boxed up the cig butts and paper and mailed it back, with a nasty note.

No way to know if they ever got it, but I hope so!

Another time my friend was moving from Phoenix to Flagstaff and his car broke down. Some nice kids gave him a ride to Flag, and then proceeded to go back and empty his car. And they would have gotten away with it, too, except they got a ticket in Flag, and the police very nicely provided my friend with their name and address. My friend got me and two of the largest guys he knew and we all paid them a visit. No violence went down-the implied threat was sufficient for them to return everything.
  #105  
Old 01-13-2017, 02:02 PM
Whiskey Dickens Whiskey Dickens is offline
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Originally Posted by Calatin View Post
It wasn't until months later that I learned that people hide drugs in pens, and they were looking to see if I had anything stashed away.
Sounds like someone got their detective's credentials by watching Columbo. Pens are no more likely of a hiding spot than anything else.
  #106  
Old 01-13-2017, 02:16 PM
Filbert Filbert is offline
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My next door neighbour when I was tiny used to deal in stolen bathrooms. True story. My Dad pretended he was caught with one under his coat, fake rolex style. Not so true story.

Weird or dumb ones I've known about, my parents gift shop was robbed once, they took:
the mars bars;
the 99p pewter figurines;
a few t-shirts with the centre logo on;
and all the non-alcoholic punch.

Another weird one that happened there was actually a centre volunteer; it was heavily suspected that she was helping herself from the till (nothing weird there exactly, sad, but not weird). My Mum's suspicions were further strengthened when a coat vanished from lost property that exactly matched the coat the volunteer was wearing when she left (expensive, bought the previous day, the owner phoned within hours and had arranged to come back in the morning to collect it, this wasn't "It's turned really cold, this coat's been here for ages, no-one wants it").

Then she stopped volunteering. Which saved drama, as nothing up 'til then had been exactly conclusive, and she really got on with some staff.

Then 6 months later, she showed up at the neighbouring petrol station, filled up her car, and told the owner "Oh no! I'm so sorry, I've just realised I left my wallet at home! I work for [my parents], could I possibly come tomorrow to pay?" Then never showed up with the money. The petrol station is the centre's only real neighbour, and the owner has known my parents for over 20 years, and they obviously had her full name and address on file... Oh, and it's a bleedin' petrol station, with security cameras.
  #107  
Old 01-13-2017, 04:31 PM
eschereal eschereal is online now
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Originally Posted by Filbert View Post
My next door neighbour when I was tiny used to deal in stolen bathrooms.
For those of us who speak American, can you explain what this means?
  #108  
Old 01-14-2017, 04:49 AM
Filbert Filbert is offline
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Originally Posted by eschereal View Post
For those of us who speak American, can you explain what this means?
Pretty much exactly what it sounds like. He, and some mates, regularly stole bathroom fittings; baths, sinks, showers (from building sites or "fell off the back of the truck") and would try and sell them. Yes, that is as dumb an idea as it sounds. Yes, he did get caught.
  #109  
Old 01-14-2017, 08:10 AM
running coach running coach is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Filbert View Post
Pretty much exactly what it sounds like. He, and some mates, regularly stole bathroom fittings; baths, sinks, showers (from building sites or "fell off the back of the truck") and would try and sell them. Yes, that is as dumb an idea as it sounds. Yes, he did get caught.
That would explain why he was often flush with cash.

Maybe he should have tried money laundering instead.
  #110  
Old 01-14-2017, 08:50 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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A person stole our cement mixer. WHY?

I almost did not start this thread, but it turned into a good one!
  #111  
Old 01-14-2017, 09:39 AM
Yllaria Yllaria is offline
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Annie, that thread says that your cement mixer stealing trio were charged, but it doesn't say what happened to them. Did it go to trial?
  #112  
Old 01-14-2017, 09:42 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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We agreed to drop the charges once we got the cement mixer back, and a restraining order against them.
  #113  
Old 01-14-2017, 09:48 AM
kayT kayT is offline
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And did anyone ever find the cement mixer??
  #114  
Old 01-14-2017, 09:53 AM
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Years ago, before I had security, someone broke into my house, during the day, by breaking the lock. I presume they kicked it in.

This was back when VCR's were worth stealing, and that's all that went missing. The cop who took the report adivised me not to get another for a while, because sure enough, six days later, the same type of break in occured. This time the asshole didn't find anything he wanted, so he got in my fridge and cooked himself breakfast. Yes, my bacon and eggs were stolen! And he sat on the couch to eat. Grease was all over, quite the messy cook. And the jerk wasn't satisfired with eating off of my Corningware plates, he got in the back of my cabinet and ate off the one good china serving platter I owned.
  #115  
Old 01-14-2017, 10:00 AM
running coach running coach is online now
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Originally Posted by Annie-Xmas View Post
We agreed to drop the charges once we got the cement mixer back, and a restraining order against them.
Why? The police had concrete evidence.
The thieves should be doing hard time.
  #116  
Old 01-14-2017, 10:12 AM
Enola Gay Enola Gay is offline
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Back in the 80s, my dad found a dead cat under his car in the morning. It was right after Christmas & we had just gotten a new VCR, so he put the dead cat in the VCR box & taped the top so the kids wouldn't see it. He meant to put it in the trash can, but was in a rush and left the box on the porch. By the time he got home, someone had stolen it.
  #117  
Old 01-14-2017, 11:25 AM
Just Asking Questions Just Asking Questions is offline
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And did anyone ever find the cement mixer??
It was in Jimmy Hoffa's house.
  #118  
Old 01-14-2017, 11:38 AM
running coach running coach is online now
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It was in Jimmy Hoffa's house.
So is Jimmy Hoffa.
  #119  
Old 01-14-2017, 12:05 PM
Aspenglow Aspenglow is offline
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One evening a young family friend showed up on my doorstep. He looked like he'd been beaten by a professional -- and in fact, it turned out he had been.

This fellow had been out for a hard night of drinking the prior Friday night (this was Monday evening). He considered driving home, but then thought better of it due to his level of intoxication. He walked home instead.

Apparently his behavior on the walk was erratic. Just as he arrived at his driveway, a prowler car pulled up. The officers who had been observing him beckoned him over. The conversation turned sour rather quickly and the fellow verbally abused the officers. They charged him with public drunkenness right in his own driveway.

As they attempted to load him into the patrol car, he began to resist. This did not go well for him, either. His face somehow found the edge of the door in the effort.

Because it was a Friday night, he spent a long, uncomfortable weekend in the county jail before he could be arraigned on Monday morning. He was released on his own recognizance and had stopped by my house to see if I could give him some pointers on how to deal with the charges.

IANAL and would never offer him legal advice, but I worked for the court at the time. Next morning, I had a look at the police report. I frankly didn't recognize the perpetrator the police had arrested as my acquaintance. The words, "You'll be sorry! Judge Wapner is my uncle!" were repeatedly flung about. Allegedly.

I didn't really have any pointers for him except to share that I had respect for the public defender who was representing him and to tell him to be less confrontational for the adjudication of his charges than he had been with the officers who arrested him.

With even a modicum of tact, I expect he could have avoided the situation altogether. Maybe even have gotten an 'atta boy for choosing to walk instead of drive in his intoxicated state. Being an asshole to cops never works out well.
  #120  
Old 01-14-2017, 05:51 PM
Melbourne Melbourne is offline
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Originally Posted by Baker View Post
Years ago, before I had security, someone broke into my house, during the day [...] This was back when VCR's were worth stealing, and that's all that went missing.
And here's a tip from the same time frame: never hide the rent money under the VCR....
  #121  
Old 01-14-2017, 05:56 PM
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Originally Posted by John DiFool View Post
A would be car thief broke into my car one night c. 12 years ago.

My stereo had one of those removable/replaceable pop off front display face plate things.

He took that-and a stack of CD's in a CD case.

Maintenance at the apt. complex here found the face plate, and I was able to pop it right back in-worked just as well as it did before, overnight dew or not.

Never did find the CD's. Without the cases they originally came in they would be no good to a used CD store. Since some were rare and/or valued, I was more POed at their loss than I would have been getting a replacement front plate for the stereo.
Some bastard stole the CD's from my house (back when I lived in a high-crime area). Including the install disks from an enterprise edition of a software development environment. Worth ~$1000 to us, worth nothing to a used CD store.
  #122  
Old 01-14-2017, 07:11 PM
nearwildheaven nearwildheaven is online now
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Just remembered another one.

When I was in college, I knew a guy who was from a rather well-off family, and his home was broken into and one of two identical unlocked boxes in his mom's closet were stolen.

One box was full of loose change; the other one had a few tens of thousands of dollars worth of jewelry in it. Guess which one was stolen?

Yeah. The one with the change.

OTOH, it's also possible that the thief suspected that the jewelry might be fake, but knew the coins were real and worth at least face value.
  #123  
Old 01-14-2017, 07:17 PM
nearwildheaven nearwildheaven is online now
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And another one, from when I was in college the second time in the early 1990s.

At the time, kids wearing hood ornaments as necklaces was a big fad, and lots of kids obtained them legitimately by purchasing them from auto dealerships. However, stealing them was a big problem, and there was a mall in my town that reported a lot of stolen hood ornaments.

Authorities believed it was most likely being done by teenagers, until a mother who was hanging clothes up in her 10-year-old son's closet found a shoebox containing the wire cutters her husband couldn't find a few days earlier......and a couple dozen hood ornaments. She called her husband and the police, and they all showed up at the school and called the boy, who was an honor student who had never been in trouble, out of class and showed him the box. He said, "Oh, yeah, me and (he names his two best friends) have been collecting them."

The other boys confirmed this, and their parents were called too. One boy threw up in the school principal's trash can when he was told that those ornaments cost about $50 each; he had no idea.

In the end, because it couldn't be proven who stole which hood ornaments and the kids were so young, the punishment consisted of the boys writing letters of apology to all the people who had reported their hood ornaments stolen at that location. Several people who'd had their cars vandalized said on the record that they felt this was an appropriate and fair punishment, and that it sounded like some kids who didn't know any better and hopefully learned their lessons.
  #124  
Old 01-14-2017, 07:46 PM
eschereal eschereal is online now
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I am told that when I was about 4, a neighbor kid and I found a paint can and a brush or brushes in another neighbor's driveway, so we went to town on his garage door. The police arrived at the door and presented to my mother the piece of damning evidence: my brother's cowboy hat, which I guess I must have been wearing. The frame up failed, though, because my brother was in school.
  #125  
Old 01-14-2017, 09:02 PM
TokyoBayer TokyoBayer is offline
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Why? The police had concrete evidence.
The thieves should be doing hard time.
I donno. Maybe they were framed? Could the case have been cracked?
  #126  
Old 01-14-2017, 09:18 PM
running coach running coach is online now
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I donno. Maybe they were framed? Could the case have been cracked?
So you think there's a chance they were set up?
  #127  
Old 01-14-2017, 09:54 PM
Angel of the Lord Angel of the Lord is offline
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Someone broke into my car to steal my change. They didn't take the quarters. They didn't take the nickels. They only took the dimes. For $.40, they caused $400 in damage to my door, as they completely busted the lock. Also, they got caught later that night, so they didn't even get to pick up that pack of gum they were obviously trying to finance.
  #128  
Old 01-14-2017, 10:01 PM
TokyoBayer TokyoBayer is offline
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So you think there's a chance they were set up?
It was just getting harder and harder.
  #129  
Old 01-14-2017, 10:09 PM
TokyoBayer TokyoBayer is offline
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It was just getting harder and harder.
Besides, you can't look at only what is stolen when there is a crime.

The aggregate must be considered.
  #130  
Old 01-14-2017, 10:28 PM
Ulfreida Ulfreida is offline
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In the 1970's when I was living on a farm in eastern Canada, some kids broke into a neighboring farmhouse at night. In order to keep the sleeping inhabitants from possibly waking up and calling the police, they cleverly cut the phone line first. Except it turned out to be the clothesline.
  #131  
Old 01-15-2017, 02:16 PM
MacCat MacCat is offline
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After work about twenty years ago, I met my wife and young son at her mothers house. Driving home, son with me, wife following behind, right lane, doing the speed limit, maybe 5 mph over, kid cuts between us and begins extreme tailgating. Wife pulls out next to him, enraged. As I make a right into our neighborhood, he takes off with her chasing him.

Three blocks up, he turns left into the precinct house, runs inside and tells the desk sergeant there's a crazy woman chasing him. She gives the officer her version, and he asks the kid if he was tailgating. Kid says he wasn't, he was at least two feet behind me.

"Have you been drinking?" "Maybe two or three beers." "Okay, come in the back." "Thank you Ma'am, we'll take it from here."
  #132  
Old 01-15-2017, 02:44 PM
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Someone stole the windshield wiper blades off of a friend's car while it was parked in NYC. They cost less than $5 and don't seem to have a lot of resale value. We were just baffled by it, and joked about him fencing them a guy with a heavy jacket that opens to reveal a bunch of bootleg windshield wipers.
  #133  
Old 01-15-2017, 05:24 PM
roxie monoxide roxie monoxide is offline
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A friend came home one evening to find their house broken into. The house was quite small, so they entered through the back door, through the tiny kitchen, the living room and into the bedroom where they grabbed a bunch of stuff from her jewellery box. The stupid part? This woman always wore four or five gold necklaces and at least two rings on each finger. When she got home from work, she would take them all off before starting dinner and place them in a crystal ashtray that sat on her kitchen table. The muddy footprints left behind showed that the thieves had passed that table with all her gold jewellery twice, leaving with a bunch of costume jewellery worth nothing.
  #134  
Old 01-15-2017, 06:38 PM
eschereal eschereal is online now
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Originally Posted by Pantastic View Post
Someone stole the windshield wiper blades off of a friend's car while it was parked in NYC. They cost less than $5 and don't seem to have a lot of resale value. We were just baffled by it, and joked about him fencing them a guy with a heavy jacket that opens to reveal a bunch of bootleg windshield wipers.
Was it in a neighborhood where a lot of Russians lived?
  #135  
Old 01-16-2017, 09:06 AM
BigT BigT is offline
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Someone stole the twenty dollar bill I left on the shelf of a shop in Silver Dollar City. I call it a stupid crime because I was dumb enough to leave it there in the first place. It was a magic shop, and as I pulled out the bill for a trick, I realized how it was done and that it wasn't worth it. And I just absentmindedly put it down, not realizing it until I counted my money again later.

I guess there's also the guy who tried to steal my Game Boy at school. The school has an on duty cop, and you can't leave the school to hide it somewhere. Of course you're gonna get caught.

Then again, they did still get away with my game, replacing it with a different one. But I allowed it as I was tired of that game I had, and knew I liked the one they replaced it with. Either that, or he stole more than one Game Boy and game and I got the wrong one back.

Last edited by BigT; 01-16-2017 at 09:07 AM.
  #136  
Old 01-16-2017, 09:21 AM
Max Torque Max Torque is offline
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My truck was broken into once. They didn't take the $350 radar detector, nor the $500 Kenwood radio. The only thing they took was: two rolls of quarters, worth $20, from my center console, which I'd gotten from the bank that day in order to do laundry.

What I found funniest was, they opened my center console and clearly saw the CDs in there, but they must've decided I didn't have any they wanted to steal after seeing Andrea Bocelli's Romanza on the top. There were plenty of other genres under it, though.
  #137  
Old 01-16-2017, 11:24 PM
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So, Annie, there's still an unanswered question from your cement mixer story:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Annie-Xmas View Post
"Bear" and "Mole" are variations of their street names. I made up "Crane." Yeah, everybody knows everybody by their street names.

The cement mixer has not been found. Bear is saying he had permission to take it, Mole is still screaming about us "siccing the police on me" and Crane is whining about how much trouble she is in. We have filed charges, so it is going to be very interesting...
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Originally Posted by Really Not All That Bright View Post
I don't understand. If Bear "had permission to take it", why doesn't he know where he put it?
  #138  
Old 01-17-2017, 12:02 AM
Yllaria Yllaria is offline
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Originally Posted by Annie-Xmas View Post
We agreed to drop the charges once we got the cement mixer back, and a restraining order against them.
Thanks for the update.

And I guess there's just no curing the punsters on this board. Whatever floats your boats.
  #139  
Old 01-17-2017, 06:59 AM
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In 2014 I was leaving the Orange Line terminal at Midway Airport when I noticed some drunk pissing on a wall outside the trains with cops in front of the guy. Pick anywhere you want to piss, but don't piss near cops.
  #140  
Old 01-17-2017, 08:54 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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So, Annie, there's still an unanswered question from your cement mixer story:
He was just so pissed that he didn't get the job, and he was furious that we'd called the cops on him over a "harmless prank." It was only after the cops threatened him and his cronies with some serious hard time that he returned it. In one piece.
  #141  
Old 01-17-2017, 02:58 PM
Boyo Jim Boyo Jim is offline
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I know a murderer-for-hire who managed to leave one of his credit card receipts at the murder scene. Not so much the dumbest crime, but in the running for the dumbest criminal.
  #142  
Old 01-17-2017, 04:41 PM
74westy 74westy is offline
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I know a murderer-for-hire who managed to leave one of his credit card receipts at the murder scene. Not so much the dumbest crime, but in the running for the dumbest criminal.
Saskatchewan cabinet minister Colin Thatcher left a credit card receipt behind when he murdered his ex-wife.
  #143  
Old 01-17-2017, 07:11 PM
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I had someone break into my car and stole a pair of shoes, the spare change, the tape hanging out of the deck, and a box full of worthless Magic cards used to play an obscure variant that just used random cards regardless of what they were. They left unopened Magic booster boxes and another box that contained far more valuable cards. It probably cost me more to get the window replaced than the value of the items stolen, while the items not stolen from the car were probably worth more than the car.
  #144  
Old 01-17-2017, 07:13 PM
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Someone entered my front yard and cut off the first 6 inches of my garden hose. No good unless you have a coupler to attach to a garden hose, and if you need to buy one of them why not just buy the replacement end?
  #145  
Old 01-17-2017, 07:25 PM
Hopeful Crow Hopeful Crow is offline
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I was recently on a jury where two men and a woman broke into a house and stole a whole bunch of stuff, including some jewelry and clothing. Later that day, the cops caught up with them. Two of the people were wearing said jewelry and clothing. The third had most of the other stolen items in his house and car.
  #146  
Old 01-17-2017, 07:42 PM
Urbanredneck Urbanredneck is offline
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Back when I was a teenager a young man I knew was talked into doing an armed robbery of a video store. All he did was pull his tshirst over his head. He had been in earlier and the clerk of course recognized him. He thought it would be looked at as a big joke but he got serious time for armed robbery.

Another time I heard of someone who went into a grocery store, robbed it, went out to his car but his car wouldnt start. He then went back into the store and asked the manager help in starting his car. They were there when police arrived.
  #147  
Old 01-17-2017, 08:24 PM
Hopeful Crow Hopeful Crow is offline
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My sister used to drive a pick-up truck. She had bought a bag of fertilizer, put it in the bed and never got around to taking it out. An apple seed sprouted in the fertilizer and poked its way out of the bag. She drove around for several years with a scrawny apple tree hanging on for dear life in back. Then. one morning she went out to her truck to find the tree, complete with the bag of fertilizer gone. Nothing else was taken. I like to think that someone took pity on it and decided to give it a better home.

Last edited by Hopeful Crow; 01-17-2017 at 08:26 PM.
  #148  
Old 01-18-2017, 07:17 PM
aurora maire aurora maire is offline
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Originally Posted by Hilarity N. Suze View Post
Someone smashed my car window in order to steal my stereo.

Only, my car was unlocked. They could have just opened the door. They didn't even try it, or maybe they just wanted to smash something. (Have had days like that myself.)
The same thing happened to me. You really would think they would at least try to open the door first. The only things in the car were in the glove box - the owner's manual and a pack of tissues. Apparently they were pissed about that and tore the tissues into little pieces and threw them around the interior. Didn't even try for the stereo, which didn't work anyway.
  #149  
Old 01-18-2017, 10:43 PM
Fuji Fuji is offline
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Got three, though I'm not sure if an actual crime was committed in the first one.

First one, 17 years or so ago, Nashua, NH. I was delivering pies for Domino's at the time. Arrived home after work one Saturday night, and was enjoying SNL on the tube when I hear the sound of smashing glass immediately outside my back door, which opened onto a balcony/porch shared between my apartment and the one next door. I was a bit freaked out at first, then after a suitable pause, went cautiously out back to see what was going on.

What I saw was my neighbor's back door swinging open, with a smashed glass panel. Their apartment was dark, but I heard some muffled voices, so I went quickly back inside and called the cops. Mind you, this is a neighbor with whom I had minimal interaction other than the occasional "Hi" in the common stairway. Didn't know her name, didn't want to.

So the cops come out and take their statements and all that. Meanwhile, I'm back relaxing in my own apartment when, a few minutes after the cops leave, I hear a knock at the door. Peering through the eyehole, I see the angry, semi-familiar face of my neighbor's boyfriend, who I'd seen previously several times.

"Hey Tom, what's up?" His mustachioed reply (paraphrasing) - "Hey man! I heard you called the cops on me!" I say something to the effect of, "Huh?". He replies, "That was me! I didn't have my keys, so I busted the window. Why'd you do that?" He was pissed off and drunk.

I say something to the effect of, "I didn't know it was you. I just heard the glass breaking and thought [my neighbor's] place was being broken into. Wouldn't you want someone to check on that?" After a brief awkward silence, his anger vanishes and he says something like, "Huh. I didn't think of that. Thanks man!" and turns and returns next door. We got on just fine for the next 5 years or so I lived there.

Apparently, it hadn't occurred to him that someone might actually alert the authorities for non-rat reasons...
  #150  
Old 01-18-2017, 11:29 PM
Mighty_Girl Mighty_Girl is offline
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Somebody stole a floor mop from my backyard. A frigging mop.
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