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  #201  
Old 05-13-2017, 09:47 AM
Channing Idaho Banks Channing Idaho Banks is offline
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If you are waiting at a green light to turn left, the odds that the driver behind you will honk his horn to hurry you up is directly proportional to the number and speed of the pedestrians you are waiting for to cross the intersection.
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  #202  
Old 05-13-2017, 12:12 PM
LSLGuy LSLGuy is offline
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If you are first in line at a left turn pocket with a permissive green light, the size of the empty gap in opposing traffic coming your way is proportional to the size of the jacked-up pickup truck in the opposing turn pocket that prevents you seeing that wonderful empty gap.

The pickup truck will turn left and clear your view just as the empty gap becomes too small for you to use. Thereby forcing you to wait another light cycle. By which time another jacked-up pickup truck will have arrived.

Last edited by LSLGuy; 05-13-2017 at 12:13 PM.
  #203  
Old 05-13-2017, 02:36 PM
Lumpy Lumpy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CelticKnot View Post
To sum up: The greater the number of managers in an organization, the greater the amount of crap falling on employees.
This is known as the Multi-Story Outhouse rule.
  #204  
Old 05-14-2017, 09:07 PM
anomalous1 anomalous1 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grrr! View Post
Grr's law of receiving texts while driving: If you receive a text while driving, every stoplight you pass will be green. And conversely, if you receive NO texts while driving, every stoplight you come upon will be red.
THIS!

Oh and my own law

If you have a Wife/Girlfriend/Partner, if you like, they will hate it. Never fails.
  #205  
Old 05-15-2017, 11:07 AM
Rocky from Plano Rocky from Plano is offline
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Rocky's 2nd Rule of Computer Gaming: When you are playing a game requiring undivided concentration, your spouse will interrupt at the most crucial point in the game, normally resulting your character's death.
  #206  
Old 05-15-2017, 10:56 PM
Enola Straight Enola Straight is offline
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Enola's Premium Refueling Law-if your car's engine has 11/1 compression ratio or has intercooled turbos...thus requiring at least 93 octane...whoever has the pump before you gassed up with cheap 87.

The guy before you put 5 bucks in his Honda Civic, now you are shelling out $40 and
(tracing the route of fuel flow from underground tank, the pump, the hose, and nozzle)
the first gallon you paid $4.29 (and 9/10ths) is SHIT GAS!
  #207  
Old 05-15-2017, 11:39 PM
thelurkinghorror thelurkinghorror is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Enola Straight View Post
Enola's Premium Refueling Law-if your car's engine has 11/1 compression ratio or has intercooled turbos...thus requiring at least 93 octane...whoever has the pump before you gassed up with cheap 87.

The guy before you put 5 bucks in his Honda Civic, now you are shelling out $40 and
(tracing the route of fuel flow from underground tank, the pump, the hose, and nozzle)
the first gallon you paid $4.29 (and 9/10ths) is SHIT GAS!
Since the majority of cars use 87, it's less a law than a certainty, no?

Also $4.29!? Are you a time traveller? If your location is still accurate, you should be paying $2.75 minimum, and you don't even have to get out of the car there!
  #208  
Old 05-15-2017, 11:55 PM
drewder drewder is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thelurkinghorror View Post
Since the majority of cars use 87, it's less a law than a certainty, no?
I donno, here where I live most have a separate nozzle for each type of gas.
  #209  
Old 05-16-2017, 08:33 AM
ioioio ioioio is offline
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ioioio's Rule of Romance Reality

If all your friends tell you that your new love interest is a jerk, s/he is a jerk.
  #210  
Old 05-16-2017, 10:04 AM
LSLGuy LSLGuy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Enola Straight View Post
Enola's Premium Refueling Law-if your car's engine has 11/1 compression ratio or has intercooled turbos...thus requiring at least 93 octane...whoever has the pump before you gassed up with cheap 87.

The guy before you put 5 bucks in his Honda Civic, now you are shelling out $40 and
(tracing the route of fuel flow from underground tank, the pump, the hose, and nozzle)
the first gallon you paid $4.29 (and 9/10ths) is SHIT GAS!
Even if there's only one nozzle, the connection where the three two grades (low, high, or both mixed 50/50) join it is pretty close to where the hose leaves the dispenser. So you're probably buying at most a quart of whatever the previous person bought. If he/she bought mid-grade, you're buying at most a pint of the low grade and a pint of the good stuff.

IOW, relax.

Or buy your gas at a place where most of the cars are fancier. When 8 of 10 cars are the "right" kind you're buying only a teaspoon of the cheap stuff per month on average.

Last edited by LSLGuy; 05-16-2017 at 10:05 AM.
  #211  
Old 05-16-2017, 03:44 PM
AskNott AskNott is offline
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If you're gonna kibitz, you gotta help.
  #212  
Old 05-16-2017, 07:08 PM
Martian Bigfoot Martian Bigfoot is offline
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The law of spectacle-emollient entanglement: If there is an open container of moisturizer or lotion anywhere in the room, some of the content will, somehow, end up on my glasses.
  #213  
Old 05-16-2017, 07:20 PM
jsgoddess jsgoddess is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Martian Bigfoot View Post
The law of spectacle-emollient entanglement: If there is an open container of moisturizer or lotion anywhere in the room, some of the content will, somehow, end up on my glasses.
The corollary of fingers: No matter how clean my glasses were five minutes ago, there is a big fingerprint on them now.
  #214  
Old 05-21-2017, 10:30 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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Back in my summer-camp-staff days, I came up with:

Any important piece of equipment will, by next summer, be just neglected enough not to work, but not so bad as to be thrown out and replaced.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Colibri View Post
Colibri's First Law of Travel:
Never pass up a chance to piss. If you do, you will regret it.
King George V supposedly once said you should never pass up an opportunity to use the bathroom, have a drink, or sit down.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cher3 View Post
You will generally be required to stop at most traffic lights on your route. The exception is if you need time to open a water bottle or take a quick peek at a text. Then all lights will be green.
Preach it!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shoeless View Post
I have a similar one: the number of red lights you hit is inversely proportional to how much of a hurry you are in.

(If I'm running late, it seems I hit every red light. When I give myself plenty of time, then all the lights are green and I get there 15 minutes early.)
Also true.
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