#1  
Old 08-10-2017, 08:24 PM
K364 K364 is offline
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Best foods for farting

Broccoli...

Volume: Excellent
Smell: Poor*

Poor means it doesn't stink much.
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  #2  
Old 08-10-2017, 08:37 PM
pulykamell pulykamell is online now
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White Castle
  #3  
Old 08-10-2017, 08:42 PM
PastTense PastTense is offline
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Beans, beans the musical fruit.
  #4  
Old 08-10-2017, 09:19 PM
cochrane cochrane is offline
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This thread wouldn't be complete without "Fart in an Elevator."
  #5  
Old 08-10-2017, 11:24 PM
Common Tater Common Tater is offline
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One early MRE entree (US Military food ration) in particular - Beans and Frankfurters. There were 12 different meals at first, and only that one had the outer package cryptic instruction printed on it:

"Not For Inflight/PreFlight Use"
  #6  
Old 08-10-2017, 11:27 PM
Happy Lendervedder Happy Lendervedder is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pulykamell View Post
White Castle
Thread win. Nothing else comes close to volume, frequency and smell of resultant flatulence. Actually, it smells pretty close to the same coming out as it did going in. Except worse.
  #7  
Old 08-10-2017, 11:37 PM
Common Tater Common Tater is offline
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Ha! You've obviously never eaten MREs.

Commercial freeze-dried food is no slouch in this regard, either.
  #8  
Old 08-11-2017, 12:37 AM
Clothahump Clothahump is offline
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Originally Posted by K364 View Post
Broccoli...

Volume: Excellent
Smell: Poor*

Poor means it doesn't stink much.
Maybe for you. I loves me fresh broccoli at the salad bar, but for a couple of hours afterward, I can clear a room. A large room.
  #9  
Old 08-11-2017, 07:05 AM
Machine Elf Machine Elf is online now
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French bread with swiss cheese, dried onions, and poppy seeds (and butter). I'm not sure which single ingredient is responsible for the results, or if it's some kind of orchestral synergy, but OMG, the results are terrifying to behold. When your own farts smell so bad that they make you laugh out loud, you know you've got something special.
  #10  
Old 08-11-2017, 09:04 AM
silenus silenus is offline
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Originally Posted by Common Tater View Post
Ha! You've obviously never eaten MREs.

Commercial freeze-dried food is no slouch in this regard, either.
They've never sampled home brew either. Home-brewed beer, with active yeast in it, will produce weapons-grade gas in weaponizable volumes in just about anybody.
  #11  
Old 08-11-2017, 09:11 AM
TheChileanBlob TheChileanBlob is offline
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Originally Posted by pulykamell View Post
White Castle
Yeah, Krystal too! What is it about tiny hamburgers?
  #12  
Old 08-11-2017, 09:46 AM
TRC4941 TRC4941 is offline
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A big Dairy Queen cone if you are lactose intolerant!!
  #13  
Old 08-11-2017, 09:51 AM
pulykamell pulykamell is online now
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Originally Posted by TheChileanBlob View Post
Yeah, Krystal too! What is it about tiny hamburgers?
For me, it's definitely the onions. I know White Castle, in particular, uses rehydrated dried onion pieces, and those seem to wreck my digestion even more than regular onions.
  #14  
Old 08-11-2017, 10:06 AM
jz78817 jz78817 is online now
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Originally Posted by pulykamell View Post
For me, it's definitely the onions. I know White Castle, in particular, uses rehydrated dried onion pieces, and those seem to wreck my digestion even more than regular onions.
yep, the onions, given that the odoriferous component of an air biscuit is hydrogen sulfide...
  #15  
Old 08-11-2017, 11:30 AM
Dr. Girlfriend Dr. Girlfriend is offline
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A big Dairy Queen cone if you are lactose intolerant!!
Yep... or in my case a couple bites of my Mom's hot fudge sundae the other day. I thought "Oh, a couple bites won't hurt." Well, it didn't hurt but I could peel paint off the walls.
  #16  
Old 08-11-2017, 11:44 AM
Mangetout Mangetout is offline
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50 eggs
  #17  
Old 08-11-2017, 12:51 PM
stillownedbysetters stillownedbysetters is offline
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For me, it's root beer, amped up threefold if I am eating peanuts while drinking the root beer.
  #18  
Old 08-11-2017, 01:53 PM
Slow Moving Vehicle Slow Moving Vehicle is offline
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Yeah, Krystal too! What is it about tiny hamburgers?
They're too small to poop?

Being a mouth breather helps, too. I'm firing off volleys from my tail cannon at least once an hour.
  #19  
Old 08-11-2017, 02:50 PM
Machine Elf Machine Elf is online now
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Originally Posted by pulykamell View Post
For me, it's definitely the onions. I know White Castle, in particular, uses rehydrated dried onion pieces, and those seem to wreck my digestion even more than regular onions.
That must be the magic ingredient in the adulterated bread I described upthread. So what the hell is it about dehydrated onions that makes them so much more devastating than fresh onions?

  #20  
Old 08-11-2017, 03:11 PM
EmilyG EmilyG is offline
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I mixed alcohol and an energy drink at a party one night. Worst flatulence I ever had!

Or, if we go by the OP K364's rating system... best flatulence ever.

Last edited by EmilyG; 08-11-2017 at 03:12 PM.
  #21  
Old 08-11-2017, 03:24 PM
bobot bobot is offline
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Fiber One bars. In a sad, sad class of their own. Not even White Castle can challenge them.
https://www.fiberone.com/our-foods/?...craveable-bars
  #22  
Old 08-11-2017, 04:02 PM
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Yeah, those were mentioned in a Weight Watchers meeting with the caveat, "well, they do make you..." and everyone in the room nodded; the speaker didn't even need to finish the sentence.

I am still at work, fighting to hold back the results of pork and beans and hot dogs from lunch.

And for me, Burger King onion rings top the list.
  #23  
Old 08-11-2017, 04:10 PM
RivkahChaya RivkahChaya is offline
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....need answer fast?
  #24  
Old 08-11-2017, 04:52 PM
K364 K364 is offline
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50 eggs
Good user name/post combo
  #25  
Old 08-14-2017, 12:02 AM
X. L. Lent X. L. Lent is offline
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The navy bean soup from Spire's restaurant can produce enough
gas to allow one to execute a perfect triple flutter blast and a
couple of freeps.
  #26  
Old 08-14-2017, 07:58 AM
Gatopescado Gatopescado is offline
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Originally Posted by silenus View Post
They've never sampled home brew either. Home-brewed beer, with active yeast in it, will produce weapons-grade gas in weaponizable volumes in just about anybody.
QFT! I don't care what ya'll say, but if you don't drink homebrew, you just really don't understand.

Toss in some sunflower seeds, maybe a hard-boiled egg, some Brussel sprouts and you become a serious threat to infants and the elderly and other at-risk groups.
  #27  
Old 08-14-2017, 10:16 AM
BwanaBob BwanaBob is offline
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Raw cabbage
Raw rutabaga
Pearl onions
That is all.
  #28  
Old 08-14-2017, 10:34 AM
gigi gigi is offline
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Good user name/post combo
Mangethentoot
  #29  
Old 08-14-2017, 10:55 AM
Filbert Filbert is offline
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No love for Jerusalem Artichokes/Sunchokes?

One could power the house from their effects, with a suitable turbine.
  #30  
Old 08-14-2017, 11:42 AM
jz78817 jz78817 is online now
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Originally Posted by Filbert View Post
No love for Jerusalem Artichokes/Sunchokes?

One could power the house from their effects, with a suitable turbine.
"which way soever they be dressed and eaten, they stir and cause a filthy loathsome stinking wind within the body, thereby causing the belly to be pained and tormented, and are a meat more fit for swine than men."

- John Goodyer
  #31  
Old 08-14-2017, 12:42 PM
Cardigan Cardigan is online now
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I'm thinking sauerkraut w/ onions washed down with copious quantities of home brewed beer. Followed shortly thereafter by a brief but vigorous period of exercise.
  #32  
Old 08-14-2017, 02:33 PM
Rushgeekgirl Rushgeekgirl is offline
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Atkins meal replacement bars. While they may not be as strong in scent they are definitely high on the juiciness scale.
  #33  
Old 08-14-2017, 04:39 PM
pulykamell pulykamell is online now
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Never had the issue with fiber bars and flatulence, but, yes to homebrew! I'll amend my answer to White Castle + homebrew.
  #34  
Old 08-14-2017, 04:51 PM
bobot bobot is offline
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It's specific to Fiber One bars. Try one, I dare you.
  #35  
Old 08-14-2017, 05:03 PM
pulykamell pulykamell is online now
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It's specific to Fiber One bars. Try one, I dare you.
Those are, indeed, the ones I eat.
  #36  
Old 08-14-2017, 05:16 PM
Trancephalic Trancephalic is offline
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Eating raw potatoes had given me the worst gas in my life.
  #37  
Old 09-06-2017, 10:21 AM
Srsly Dad Srsly Dad is offline
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Sugar free mints or candies sweetened with Xylitol.

My Dad is diabetic so Mom bought some small round hard candies with Xylitol. Had some when I was there. Three small candies (about the size of a dime) yielded an incredible volume of very noxious gas for about 20 minutes.
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  #38  
Old 09-06-2017, 11:17 AM
Intergalactic Gladiator Intergalactic Gladiator is online now
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According to my wife, just about anything I have other than water.
  #39  
Old 09-06-2017, 05:29 PM
MacLir MacLir is offline
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Originally Posted by silenus View Post
They've never sampled home brew either. Home-brewed beer, with active yeast in it, will produce weapons-grade gas in weaponizable volumes in just about anybody.
Amen. Especially with a roasted garlic appetizer.

Been there. Done that. Without a nearby dog to blame it on.
  #40  
Old 09-06-2017, 05:37 PM
MacLir MacLir is offline
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General rule:

Complex carbs (Milk, beans, beer, etc.) give magazine capacity.
Sulfur containing foods (Cabbage, broccoli, onions, garlic) give range and striking power.

Last edited by MacLir; 09-06-2017 at 05:37 PM.
  #41  
Old 09-06-2017, 06:57 PM
FoieGrasIsEvil FoieGrasIsEvil is offline
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This is what I came to mention. Seriously, Sunchokes are the most flatulence producing food ever.

There's oodles of search results from google on the topic. Take a look!

https://www.google.com/search?q=jeru...hrome&ie=UTF-8
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  #42  
Old 09-06-2017, 07:07 PM
GaryM GaryM is offline
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Originally Posted by FoieGrasIsEvil View Post
This is what I came to mention. Seriously, Sunchokes are the most flatulence producing food ever.

There's oodles of search results from google on the topic. Take a look!

https://www.google.com/search?q=jeru...hrome&ie=UTF-8
I grew them for a year or two. Excellent sliced raw or cooked like potatoes. My friend thought it might be a good idea to run them through his juicer and drink the results. Bad idea, he and his wife had to evacuate the home for a while and sit outside.
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  #43  
Old 09-06-2017, 08:59 PM
stillownedbysetters stillownedbysetters is offline
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Amen. Especially with a roasted garlic appetizer.

Been there. Done that. Without a nearby dog to blame it on.
Excellent point. ALWAYS strategically place oneself near the dog for blame purposes.
  #44  
Old 09-06-2017, 09:41 PM
China Guy China Guy is offline
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Another to chime in on Onion Rings. Especially the ones that are mashed/reformed onion rings (ie, not really made from individual rings of an onion).
  #45  
Old 09-07-2017, 08:59 AM
Mama Zappa Mama Zappa is offline
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Yep... or in my case a couple bites of my Mom's hot fudge sundae the other day. I thought "Oh, a couple bites won't hurt." Well, it didn't hurt but I could peel paint off the walls.
Maybe it didn't hurt YOU but it sure hurt everyone downwind of you

For me, French onion soup can be lethal to bystanders. But not always, which is a puzzlement. Soluble-fiber gummies, if I take extra (if, er, needed) can make me unfit for company as well.

But the most memorable was 30 years ago. We'd eaten at a place with a soup and salad bar, and they had this yummy minestrone-like soup, and I partook. It was definitely the "gift" that kept on giving . My poor husband !

Quote:
Originally Posted by MacLir
...
Been there. Done that. Without a nearby dog to blame it on.
A friend's dog has been known to produce room-clearing, window-fogging (dangerous, when that happens in the car!) farts. They were visiting, the dog was holding me down, and he let out a truly shameless fart that pretty much had the paint peeling from the walls. He didn't move a muscle - there was just this sudden STENCH.

A bit later, I let one rip myself.

The dog got up and left. "Yeah, pooch, you can dish it out but you can't take it!". Wimp!

I admit, I once blamed the baby when I let one out (no dog handy).

Last edited by Mama Zappa; 09-07-2017 at 09:03 AM.
  #46  
Old 09-07-2017, 10:05 AM
Just Asking Questions Just Asking Questions is offline
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When I was in grade school, decades ago, one kid had this comedy record about a farting contest, and all I can remember was that one of the contestants come from overseas on a cabbage ship.

What was that record?
  #47  
Old 09-07-2017, 12:53 PM
Zeldar Zeldar is offline
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http://randsesotericotr.podbean.com/...ntest-of-1946/
  #48  
Old 09-07-2017, 02:02 PM
cochrane cochrane is offline
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Excellent point. ALWAYS strategically place oneself near the dog for blame purposes.
This reminds me of a joke I heard.

A young man visits his girlfriend's parents for the first time...

He and his girlfriend's father are sitting in the living room while the girls make dinner. At the foot of the boyfriend's chair lies the family dog, Rover. After a few minutes, the young man feels the uge to fart. Unable to hold it in, he attempts to let it out silently, but it comes out audible.

"Rover!" Yells the father.

Feeling relieved the dog was blamed, the young man lets another rip, this time a bit louder.

"ROVER!" Yells the father again.

Feeling one last wave of gas, the boyfriend lets out a nasty, wet, stinker.

"ROVER, GET OUTTA THERE BEFORE HE SHITS ALL OVER YOU! "

Last edited by cochrane; 09-07-2017 at 02:03 PM.
  #49  
Old 09-07-2017, 02:06 PM
Just Asking Questions Just Asking Questions is offline
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