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#1
11-16-1999, 11:12 PM
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Here's a song I remember from my childhood. How do you remember it? Where did it come from?
Miss Suzy had a steamboat, The steamboat had a bell, When Suzy went to heaven, The steamboat went to - Hello operator, Please give me number 9, And if you disconnect me, I'll kick you in - Behind the yellow curtain There was a piece of glass, Miss Suzy sat upon it, And hurt her big fat - Ask me no more questions, I'll tell you no more lies, The boys are in the bathroom Doing up their - Flies are in the city, The bees are in the park, The boys and girls are having fun And necking in the dark-dark-dark! Alternate version (different tune): Three Irishmen, three Irishmen Were digging in a ditch One called the other A dirty son of a - Beehive corn syrup Five cents a glass If you don't like it Shove it up your - Ask me no questions I'll tell you no lies, If you get hit with a bucket of shit Be sure to close your eyes! 
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#2
11-16-1999, 11:24 PM
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Sounds like one of a dozen or so semi-vulgar tunes that we 5th & 6th grade boys would sing on the schoolbus back in the late 70's. Here's another classic:
"Got a skeeter on my peter, whack it off!" Lord only knows where these things get started.
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#3
11-16-1999, 11:26 PM
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Did you do a clapping game along with it? The version we used was similar to the first.
Lulu had a steamboat, Her steamboat had a bell, When Lulu went to Heaven, That steamboat went to... Hello operator, Please give me number nine, And if you disconnect me, I'll kick you right.... Behind the yellow curtain, There was a peice of Glass, When Lulu sat upon it, She drove it up her... Ask me no more questions, I'll tell you no more lies, And that's the end of Lulu, And Steamboat #9! ------------------ 'They couldn't hit an Elephant from this dist...!' Last words of General John Sedgwick
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#4
11-16-1999, 11:50 PM
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Very similar to the first one, I learned it as:
Miss Molly had a steamboat, The steamboat had a bell, When Molly went to heaven, The steamboat went to - Hello operator, Give me number 9, And if you disconnect me, I'll kick your big - Behind the old piano, There was a piece of glass, Miss Molly sat upon it, And hurt her little - Ask me no more questions, I'll tell you no more lies, The boys are in the bathroom Doing up their - Flies are in the city, The bees are in the park, Miss Molly and her boyfriend Are kissing in the d-a-r-k, d-a-r-k, Dark, dark, dark! I actually didn't hear that version until grade 8, when I met a girl who went to a different elementary school. The version from my elementary school ended with: Behind the old piano, [or sometimes 'iron curtain'] There was a piece of glass, Miss Molly sat upon it, And hurt her little - Ask me for a muffin, I'll give you some dry bread, And if you do not like it You can go and soak your head. No idea where it comes from, though.
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#5
11-17-1999, 12:06 AM
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Somebody did a PhD dissertation (of course) on these childhood rhyming things. I remember it much like Matt told it, but my seven year old daughter sings it (with the same clapping game) with a verse about plastic surgery I think. When she's up I'll get her version and post it here. Interestingly, in other English speaking countries you hear the same songs with slightly different versions too.
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#6
11-17-1999, 01:45 AM
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I heard this one this way:
Two Irishmen Two Irishmen Were digging in a ditch. One called the other one A dirty son of a.. Peter Murphy had a dog, A very fine dog was he. He gave it to a lady friend To keep her company. She taught it, she taught it, She taught it how to jump. It jumped right up her panty hose And bit her on the.. Country boy from Illinois Was sitting on a rock, Along came a bumblebee and Stung him on the.. Cocktails, gingerale, Five cents a glass. And if you don't believe me, Shove it up your.. Ask me no more questions, I'll tell you no more lies. And if you get hit with A bucket of shit, Be sure to close your eyes! ------------------ The déjà just keeps on vu-ing.
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#7
11-17-1999, 06:38 AM
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My version was about "Miss Lucy" and the glass was behind the refrigerator. Oh, and her "ask" was little, not big and fat.
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#8
11-17-1999, 07:14 AM
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Mine was the same as Lisa's, but in addition,
the boys are in the bathroom, making chocolate pies and lemonaaaaaaaade . . . And then there was bo bo skee watten tatten eh eh eh eh boom boom boom itty bitty watten tatten bo bo skee watten tatten bo bo skee watten tatten boom! And I remember something about a rhyme where Miss Suzy had a baby, put him in the tub, the baby drank the water and ate the bathtub, whereupon, Miss Suzy called the doctor. Anyone remember that? ------------------ Will work for sig line.
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#9
11-17-1999, 07:37 AM
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My version was similar to Lisa's but it was still Miss Susie. And the last verse went as follows:
The cows are in the meadows Eating chocolate pies. There is a new flavor Cherry coconut And if you do not like it I'll shove it up your... Butt. MOM! I am not sure of the question here, but it has many earlier variations like many folk songs. The really strange thing about children's dirty folk songs, is that children keep it alive passing it down to eachother rather than being taught to them by their parents or music teachers. I remember the Bo bo skee watten totten (sp?). There were many others. Tracing the history of folk songs is oftentimes interesting. I play a lot of folk songs (around 200) and as you go around, the words and melodies aren't always exactly the same, nor are the chords. They are all recognizable as the same song though. I could talk about this all day, but I would rather address Matt's specific question, if he has one. HUGS! Sqrl ------------------ Gasoline: As an accompaniement to cereal it made a refreshing change. Glen Baxter
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#10
11-17-1999, 08:16 AM
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I Never heard this til my husband mentioned it,and then they did it on Rosanne(at the end credits)
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#11
11-17-1999, 10:32 AM
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The version I learned was basically the same as Matt's, but it had two more verses:
... Dark is like a movie, A movie's like a show, A show is like a program, And this is what I know, I know my mother I know, I know my pa, I know, I know my sister With the eight-DD bra. Oh, the memories...
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#12
11-18-1999, 12:13 AM
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Quote:
She named him Tiny Tim. She put him in the bathtub To see if he could swim. He drank up all the water. He ate up all the soap. He tried to eat the bathtub, But it wouldn't go down his throat. Miss Suzy called the doctor. The doctor called the nurse. The nurse called the lady With the alligator purse. "Mumps," said the doctor. "Measles," said the nurse. "Nothing," said the lady With the alligator purse.
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#13
11-18-1999, 12:17 AM
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Oops. Remembered one more verse. I'm not sure I'm remembering the exact money amounts. Does anybody know if there was some actual treatment between the previous verse I gave and this one?
A dollar for the doctor. A nickel for the nurse. Nothing for the lady With the alligator purse.
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#15
10-19-2001, 10:08 PM
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From South Park:
Mrs. Landers was a health nut She cooked food in a wok Mr. Harris was her boyfriend He had a great big Cock a doodle doodle The rooster just won't sit And I don't want my breakfast Because it tastes like Shi-tzus make good housepets They're cuddily and sweet Monkeys aren't good to have cause they like to beat They're meeting in the office A meeting in the hall The boss, he wants to see you So you can suck his Balzac was a writer He lived with Alan Funt Mrs. Roberts didn't like him but that's cause she's a contaminated water can really make you sick your bladder gets infected and blood comes out your dictate what I'm saying Cause it will bring you luck And if you all don't like it I don't give a flying f-ck
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#16
10-19-2001, 11:08 PM
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Miss Susie had a steamboat
The steamboat had a bell Miss Susie went to heaven and The steamboat went to Hello, Operator Please give me #9 And if you disconnect me I will chop of your Behind the 'frigerator There stood a piece of glass Miss Susie sat upon it And it went right up her Ask me no more questions I'll tell you no more lies The boys are in the girls room Pulling down their Flies are in the city The bees are in the park The boys and girls are kissing in the D-A-R-K, dark The dark is like a movie A movie's like a show A show is like a TVset With underwear below. It was a clapping game, learned from other girls. The baby who ate the soap & water was Mama's baby (not Miss Suzy's) and that was a jump roping thing, the doctor, nurse, and little old lady went in and then they came back out.
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#17
10-19-2001, 11:33 PM
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I woke up in my bedroom
I looked upon the wall The beatles and the bed bugs were playing a game of ball The score was six to nothing the beatles were ahead the bedbugs hit a home run and it knocked me out of bed ask me no more questions I'll tell you no more lies if you get hit with a bucket of shit be sure to close you eyes ---------- there was way more, my little sister used to sing this Haj
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#18
10-19-2001, 11:35 PM
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Doctoral dissertation AND a book...
Josepha Sherman, who is perhaps better known as a fantasy writer, actually wrote a book called "Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts" cataloguing the "subversive folklore of childhood." Several versions of "Miss Suzy had a Steamboat" are located within it, as well.
If anyone else just can't get enough of this silly stuff, they might want to find a copy at their local library. Besides, it makes good first-date conversation.  Corr
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#19
10-19-2001, 11:43 PM
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Miss Suzy had a steamboat,
The steamboat had a bell Miss Suzy went to Heaven, The steamboat went to - Hello Operator, Please give me number 9 And if you disconnect me, I'll kick you from - Behind the 'frigerator, There was a piece of glass Miss Suzy sat upon it And cut her little Ask me no more questions I'll tell you no more lies The cows are in the meadow Making chocolate pies and lemonade!
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#21
10-20-2001, 01:42 AM
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I remember this from the 60s. I was 5 or 6. We thought we were so naughty. Then when I went away to college, frat boys had a song (I wasn't in a frat, being the Groucho Marx type) and I'll give you the opening lines, see if you can finish it:
Sheila! Sheila? She loves a ...
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#22
10-20-2001, 11:30 AM
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Quote:
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#23
10-20-2001, 04:52 PM
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We always did it slightly different...
Miss Suzy had a steamboat The steamboat had a bell Miss Suzy went to heaven The steam boat went to -- Hello Operator Please give me number 9 And if you disconnect me I'll kick you from -- Behind the 'frigerator There was a piece of glass Miss Suzy sat upon it And broke her little -- Ask me no more questions I'll tell you know more lies The boy are in the bathroom Zipping up their -- Flies are in the park Miss Suzy and her boyfriend Are kissing in the D a r k D a r k D a r k Dark, dark, dark. There's a clapping game that goes with it. I also remember one that starts off... (something) Betty Crocker, sitting in her rocker But I can't remember the rest of it for my life.
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#24
10-20-2001, 05:42 PM
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Off to Cafe Society.
__________________
"We hope that next time the rockets will be more accurate and effective in getting rid of this virus." Walid Jumblatt on Paul Wolfowitz, October 2003 "This process of change has started because of the American invasion of Iraq... The Syrian people, the Egyptian people, all say that something is changing." Walid Jumblatt, February 2005
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#25
10-20-2001, 05:43 PM
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Here goes:
Miss Susie had a steamboat The steamboat had a bell Miss Susie went to heaven The steamboat went to Hello operator Please give me #9 And if you disconnect me I'll kick you right behind The frigerator There was a piece of glass Miss Susie sat upon it It went right up her Ask me no more questions Tell me no more lies The boys are in the girls room Pulling down their flies Are in the meadow The bees are in their hives Miss Susie and her boyfriend Are kissing in the D A R K D A R K Dark dark dark. dont' remember the rest..... has anyone heard this one(involves clapping): Oh jolly playmate Come out and play with me And bring your dolly three Climb up my apple tree Slide down my rainbow Into my cellar door And we'll be jolly friends Forever more more more more more Oh jolly enemy Come out and fight with me And bring your soldier three Climb up my pricker tree Slide down my razor blade Into my dungeon door And we'll be jolly enemies Forever more more more more more
__________________
One day the Balloon Man will meet the Pin Lady.
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#26
10-20-2001, 06:46 PM
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Who is this Miss Suzy upstart and how did she get possession of Mary's steamboat?
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#28
10-20-2001, 08:50 PM
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Hmm...I never heard it that way Chronos....but by the Suzy/Susie thread proves that the song seems different depending on where you grew up......thank you for letting me know that I didn't make up the Jolly Friend/Enemy though...I've asked so many people and no one seemed to know.
__________________
One day the Balloon Man will meet the Pin Lady.
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#29
10-21-2001, 01:17 PM
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Quote:
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#30
10-21-2001, 03:27 PM
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I've been thinking and thinking and thinking and I can't remember the last verse of how I learned that song. What I do remember:
Miss Suzie had a steamboat The steamboat had a bell The steamboat went to heaven Miss Suzie went to Hello operator Give me number nine And if you disconnect me I'll kick in your Behind the 'frigerator There was a piece of glass Miss Suzie sat upon it And broke her little Ask me no more questions I'll tell you no more lies The girls are in the boys' room Zipping up their Flies are in the meadow The bees are in the park Miss Suzie and her boyfriend Are kissing in the d-a-r-k, d-a-r-k, d-a-r-k Darker than [I forget] Darker than [I forget] Darker than the underwear My mama puts on me
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