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Old 09-22-2017, 07:21 PM
DSeid DSeid is offline
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What do you want as your epitaph?

This came up in two ways over the past several weeks.

The first was not directly as in the title but relatedly - my 40th High School Reunion that I went to with arm twisted by a childhood good friend and its "Memory Book" in which alumni were to answer questions that included things like "What have you been up to?" and "Have you ever been honored for anything?" Most answered with descriptions of their career accomplishments and honors and my childhood buddy was a bit perplexed that I did not mention my career at all (wrote more of enjoying NuWho, Steven Universe, and the adaptation of American Gods, and of how High School was an awkward and clueless time for me but as my wife and children will witness those features have never completely gone away).

The second and more proximate came up as a the theme of a sermon at the Rosh HaShana service I attended - that we live writing our epitaphs, and discussing if we live an end in mind. How do you hope to be eulogized?

So what do want your epitaphs to be?

I've settled on the following for myself:

"A curious person who mostly reached his potential."

I like the different ways it can be interpreted depending on what people thought of me.

What do hope yours will be?
  #2  
Old 09-22-2017, 07:32 PM
jz78817 jz78817 is offline
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"He existed."
  #3  
Old 09-22-2017, 07:39 PM
begbert2 begbert2 is offline
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Honestly? I don't want an epitaph, or even a grave. I want to be forgotten.

But if I *must* have a memorial, I'd want it left blank.
  #4  
Old 09-22-2017, 07:43 PM
Patx2 Patx2 is offline
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I think I'd go with Dr. Suess, "Don't cry because it's over, laugh because it happened." Or something to that effect.
  #5  
Old 09-22-2017, 07:58 PM
TokyoBayer TokyoBayer is offline
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"This page left intentionally blank."
  #6  
Old 09-22-2017, 08:26 PM
Trinopus Trinopus is offline
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When my mother killed herself, I borrowed an epitaph from Cordwainer Smith:

"Out in the garden of death our young
have tasted the valiant taste of fear.
With muscular heart and reckless tongue,
they have won, and lost, and escaped us here."

For my father, I quoted Shakespeare:

"Fear no more the heat o’ the sun,
Nor the furious winter’s rages;
Thou thy worldly task hast done,
Home art gone, and ta’en thy wages:
Golden lads and girls all must,
As chimney-sweepers, come to dust. "

For myself?

"A tu dejeuner, Jaco?"
  #7  
Old 09-22-2017, 08:34 PM
Yllaria Yllaria is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TokyoBayer View Post
"This page left intentionally blank."
Nice.

I once saw a very lifelike ceramic statue of a dropped soft serve ice cream cone, about two feet long. I've always thought it would make a great marker. It would be a wordless epitaph.

Last edited by Yllaria; 09-22-2017 at 08:35 PM.
  #8  
Old 09-22-2017, 08:40 PM
Pippers Pippers is offline
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"Where am I now?"
  #9  
Old 09-22-2017, 08:47 PM
RivkahChaya RivkahChaya is offline
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Dancing welcome, and in fact, encouraged;
but no spitting, please.
  #10  
Old 09-22-2017, 08:59 PM
kunilou kunilou is offline
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"Crap! That was supposed to work."
  #11  
Old 09-22-2017, 09:30 PM
Trinopus Trinopus is offline
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There is a memorial bench on one of the trails of the San Diego Zoo Safari Park that reads, "But I Feel Fine!"
  #12  
Old 09-22-2017, 09:35 PM
Dr. Strangelove Dr. Strangelove is online now
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"Please dump my carcass in the nutrient reclaimer."
  #13  
Old 09-22-2017, 09:43 PM
Gatopescado Gatopescado is offline
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Probably the same as my last words, "Watch this! Hold my Beer".
  #14  
Old 09-22-2017, 09:53 PM
blondebear blondebear is offline
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Confusion
  #15  
Old 09-22-2017, 09:54 PM
Qadgop the Mercotan Qadgop the Mercotan is offline
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Being known as the Mercotan is quite epithet enough for me, thanks.

Oh, epitaph! Let me work on that a bit . . .

Utúlie'n aurë! Auta i lómë!

Last edited by Qadgop the Mercotan; 09-22-2017 at 09:59 PM.
  #16  
Old 09-22-2017, 10:00 PM
Qadgop the Mercotan Qadgop the Mercotan is offline
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Which means: The day has come! Night is passing!
  #17  
Old 09-22-2017, 10:20 PM
Trinopus Trinopus is offline
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The morning comes and also the night.
  #18  
Old 09-22-2017, 10:21 PM
Leaffan Leaffan is online now
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"HTTP 404 Error"


Actually, I just want to be cremated and my ashes spread on a golf course.
  #19  
Old 09-22-2017, 10:27 PM
jaycat jaycat is offline
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"The thin, light and portable tablet from Google. Moby Dick. Nexus 7. Buy now."

Last edited by jaycat; 09-22-2017 at 10:27 PM.
  #20  
Old 09-22-2017, 10:36 PM
dolphinboy dolphinboy is offline
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Either, "Hey guys, watch this..." or "I told them I was sick".
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  #21  
Old 09-22-2017, 11:03 PM
G0sp3l G0sp3l is offline
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"Gone! Gone! The form of man. Rise, the Demon Etrigan!"

"That is not dead which can eternal lie."

"valar morghulis"
  #22  
Old 09-22-2017, 11:15 PM
don't ask don't ask is offline
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Fuck off!
  #23  
Old 09-22-2017, 11:22 PM
TreacherousCretin TreacherousCretin is offline
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"I've had worse."
  #24  
Old 09-22-2017, 11:28 PM
Czarcasm Czarcasm is online now
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"Missing-Presumed Dead"
  #25  
Old 09-22-2017, 11:38 PM
Duckster Duckster is online now
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"Cite?"





Since I plan to be cremated, my epitaph carved in wood, will go up in flames as well. Or maybe someone with write it on a piece of paper, fold the paper into an airplane and fly it into the flames.
  #26  
Old 09-23-2017, 03:12 AM
Nava Nava is offline
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Family's mausoleum doesn't get epitaphs, just names, and I hope my eulogy is just the day's regular sermon. Either that or a priest who knows me well enough to pepper the day's sermon with references to Princess Bride, Star Wars, LotR, Alatriste, the X-Men... while not actually coming out and saying anything directly about me. None of that soapy "beloved daughter", "wonderful aunt", etc. which basically reads like they've taken your resume and dunked it into spun sugar.
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Last edited by Nava; 09-23-2017 at 03:12 AM.
  #27  
Old 09-23-2017, 04:14 AM
guestchaz guestchaz is offline
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Lots of potential for humorous replies here (seen a few already). In fact, I was tempted to go with one myself and post one that is complementary to jaycat's response
"Free Private Sessions In Your Pocket"
More seriously I just want it to be "Dad"

Or I guess "how the hell could you not know that"
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Last edited by guestchaz; 09-23-2017 at 04:17 AM.
  #28  
Old 09-23-2017, 05:58 AM
Quartz Quartz is offline
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"Mourn not my death; enjoy your life."
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  #29  
Old 09-23-2017, 06:37 AM
GuanoLad GuanoLad is offline
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"He was a useless waste of space and we're glad to be rid of the miserable bastard."

Oh wait, maybe that should be saved for my idiot housemate.

Maybe something like "Unpublished."
  #30  
Old 09-23-2017, 09:29 AM
aruvqan aruvqan is offline
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Hm, for my brother I used a line from a Warren Zevon song - "Keep me in your heart for a while"
My Mom and Dad got a line from Rumi - "Love is from the infinite and will remain until eternity"

I didn't want any of the standard Christian quotes that are seriously overused. Ugh. My parents weren't cookie cutter anything.

I will have a small memorial stone at the family plot, not sure what I want as an epitaph yet, but my cremains along with mrAru's are going into a TDU can and being dropped into an abyssal.
  #31  
Old 09-23-2017, 10:07 AM
Covfefe Covfefe is offline
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"No longer a fictional composition"
  #32  
Old 09-23-2017, 10:21 AM
The Other Waldo Pepper The Other Waldo Pepper is online now
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"Something wry and warm and clever and philosophical."
  #33  
Old 09-23-2017, 10:29 AM
RivkahChaya RivkahChaya is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by guestchaz View Post
Lots of potential for humorous replies here (seen a few already). In fact, I was tempted to go with one myself and post one that is complementary to jaycat's response
"Free Private Sessions In Your Pocket"
More seriously I just want it to be "Dad"

Or I guess "how the hell could you not know that"
Mine may have been humorous, but it's also totally serious. It's in my will.
  #34  
Old 09-23-2017, 10:32 AM
Lucas Jackson Lucas Jackson is offline
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Goodby all my friends

Please disregard

Last edited by Lucas Jackson; 09-23-2017 at 10:35 AM.
  #35  
Old 09-23-2017, 04:33 PM
gigi gigi is offline
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Mine's already decided, since it's a group headstone. My mom is there so far.

I am all at once what Christ is, since he was what I am...
Immortal diamond.


And the bonus is the saying on the memorial cards. Mom's was the expanded section of the above

In a flash, at a trumpet crash,
I am all at once what Christ is, since he was what I am, and
This Jack, joke, poor potsherd,
patch, matchwood, immortal diamond,
Is immortal diamond.

I am debating between

Made like Him
Like Him we rise
Ours the cross, the grave, the skies

and Leonard Cohen

I'll stand before the Lord of song
With nothing on my tongue but alleluia
  #36  
Old 09-23-2017, 06:39 PM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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"I told you I wasn't a hypochondriac".*

*credit: James Herold, author of "The Happy Hypochondriac" (1962).

Last edited by Jackmannii; 09-23-2017 at 06:40 PM.
  #37  
Old 09-23-2017, 06:49 PM
billfish678 billfish678 is offline
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Gold buried here

(I'd still like to get out now and then)
  #38  
Old 09-23-2017, 07:21 PM
GaryM GaryM is offline
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"Why am I in this hand basket?"

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  #39  
Old 09-23-2017, 07:51 PM
Chefguy Chefguy is offline
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"Well, this sucks."
  #40  
Old 09-23-2017, 07:52 PM
guestchaz guestchaz is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RivkahChaya View Post
Mine may have been humorous, but it's also totally serious. It's in my will.
Actually, I rather like your choice for an epitaph.
It feels, mmm, suitablely smartassed, something I might have picked for myself, tempted to steal it.
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Last edited by guestchaz; 09-23-2017 at 07:53 PM.
  #41  
Old 09-23-2017, 10:26 PM
DrForrester DrForrester is offline
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George Carlin talked about how cold hearted it was to pull someone out of your address book as soon as he dropped dead. But, eventually, well, facts are facts.... So, George would give them 6 weeks.

Seems about right to me. If there's anyone around who is remotely sad at my passing, you can have 6 weeks. Then, hey, facts are facts. Time to haul my corpse out to the trash & get on with life.
  #42  
Old 09-24-2017, 01:15 AM
jtur88 jtur88 is offline
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"Died without regrets. You can, too"
  #43  
Old 09-24-2017, 03:41 AM
GaryM GaryM is offline
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Decided to change mine to "But wait, there's more..."

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  #44  
Old 09-24-2017, 06:06 AM
RTFirefly RTFirefly is offline
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A gathering of angels
appeared above my head


The weird thing is, I'm not even that much of a Styx fan. But I've been pretty much settled on this line for a couple of decades now.

There's a great line in Florence + the Machine's "Ship to Wreck" that someone needs to use for an epitaph, but someone else, since I've already got mine:

I can't help but pull the earth around me
to make my bed
  #45  
Old 09-24-2017, 06:50 AM
WordMan WordMan is online now
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He found himself trying.


(I won't have a marker, but when my loved ones spread my ashes, I suspect they will share stories that will attest to that assertion. Hopefully on all the levels it might be read.)
  #46  
Old 09-24-2017, 06:59 AM
pullin pullin is offline
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I want the stone to say:

"pullin"

"<date> -- <later date>"

Below that: "He made the most of the dash." with an arrow pointing up to it.

Last edited by pullin; 09-24-2017 at 07:00 AM. Reason: punctuation
  #47  
Old 09-24-2017, 07:15 AM
The Stainless Steel Rat The Stainless Steel Rat is offline
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I plan to be cremated and has my ashes scattered at my parent's grave, but if I had to have one, I think I'd chose "He did What He Could"
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  #48  
Old 09-24-2017, 09:09 AM
LegendHasit LegendHasit is offline
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404 Not Found
  #49  
Old 09-24-2017, 08:12 PM
naita naita is offline
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Wasn't planning on having one, but in the spirit of things: Ede, bibe, lude.
  #50  
Old 09-24-2017, 08:26 PM
kopek kopek is offline
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Smile

(I just am not into any sadness that can be refused or avoided)
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