Commercials you ABSOLUTELY HATE

[gorewonfla]

-The Wrangler jeans commercial with "Fortunate Son" playing in the back, carefully edited to make it a patriotic instead of protest song. I really hope John Fogerty either files suit or got a LOT of money for them to do that.

-Mazda commercials. That "zoom zoom" kid is really annoying. And I don't know anybody who really cares what driving a car feels like anymore. Most people want a car that won't break down in rush hour traffic.

-A Hilfiger? commercial with all these anorexic models talking about how looks don't matter, it's personality. I didn't see a single normal-looking person in the bunch.

-Collect calling commercials. Now that Eva Savelot is gone, they all suck. Especially that annoying jerk Carrot Top. Yeah, I know that was mentioned in antoher thread, but you can't say "Carrot Top is annoying" enough.

Those four are the worst offenders. When I see another one I really hate I'll post it.

[Wicked Blue]

Ooooohhh....
Grasshopper sittin' On a railroad track
Sing Polly wolly doodle all the day
A-pickin' his teeth
With a carpet tack
Singing Polly wolly doodle all the day
Fare thee well,
Fare thee well,
Fare thee well my fairy fay
For I'm going to Lou'siana to see my Susyanna
Singing Polly wolly doodle all the day...

This commercial implants this song in my head for days. That's what makes it my Most Hated Commercial.
Enjoy!


Rose

[Larry Mudd]

Isn't this akin to asking "What urinary infections do you dislike?"

[Legomancer]

Any and all Mountain Dew commercials and, byt association, those who drink Mountain Dew.

I know this is an older crowd, so surely there's folks here who, like me, remember when they couldn't GIVE away Mountain Dew. It went through several attempts to hip it up ("Gimme a mountain, gimme a Dew!") until they finally hit on the "extreme" bandwagon and struck paydirt. As a result, we endure this endless series of commercials on just how amazingly cool and rad those who drink Mountain Dew are, when in fact, most of them are a bunch of programmer geeks getting into pissing ocntests about who drinks more caffeine.

I especially hate the Crouching Tiger one, where they first rip off/appropriate CTHD, and then have the balls to run a disclaimer saying _{this commercial not affiliated with any movie}. Oh, ok, it's your own invention, huh, you little weasels?

[barflyer]

I'll switch off the channel whenever any rap is played.
If I happen to be taping, so my VCR channel won't change, I'll turn off the TV entirely for 60 seconds.

[Rayne Man]

Here in the UK we are getting a stupid Budweiser commercial about some guy inventing a foot long hot dog. Whats the point of this ?. It just does not mean anything to us Brits. Anyway US Bud is just an imposter ,true Bud is made in the Czech Republic !!

[MsWhatsit]

The one with the singing belly buttons makes me want to scream in horror every time I see it. That commercial is truly nightmare fuel.

I also hate the stupid beer commercials where the guy asks for "a cold one" and then his buddy dumps an Igloo or a pile of snow on his head. Yeah, funny. If I see this commercial again, I may throw a shoe at the TV.

And I absolutely detest all diamond commercials that imply that if a man does not spend three months' salary on an engagement ring, he is no kind of man. And that diamonds are pretty much the only thing that women care about, so if you don't get a big enough diamond, she is perfectly justified in dumping your ass. DeBeers can bite my left tit.

[Kbean]

I hate (although it isn't show too much anywmore, thank God) the Wassssap? commericals and the Wassssabi ones. The singing belly button one also drives me absolutely bonkers. Here in Maine, there is a McDonalds commerical on the radio (I'm not sure if they have it other places) where this guy is pretending to try to break the record for saying the word "blueberries" the most times in a commerical to celebrate Maine Wild Blueberry month or some crap like that. Anywho, it's really really obnoxious.

[Stellablue]

Bowflex!
I see that one so many times I could just scream!

[Jeep's Phoenix]

That commercial that begins with a lady singing "One pound of hamburger sits in my fridge..." It makes me want to throw the television out the window. (I think it's for some kind of Old Elpaso taco kits.)

Anything concerning "Isuzu Joe."

A local TV station is featuring an ad that seems to be a remake of the "I've fallen and I can't get up" commercial. Their remake sucks--the actress who has fallen and cannot get up has absolutely no talent, unlike the lady in the original commercial.

There's a commercial for either a skin care product or a cat food--I don't remember which--that features a woman watching a cat licking its feet while, in the background, another woman is singing "This is the way....we WASH...our face.." There is no tone or rhythm to her singing. I hate it.

All of the Mike's Hard Lemonade commercials have gotten old.

All of Robitussin's "Dr. Mom" commercials. They make women look like flaky idiots unable to do anything but cook and dispense cold medicine.

Target's commercials are so stupid that it's funny. The same goes for the Martha Stewart/K-mart commercials--except for the one that had Martha naked in a bathtub. That was scary.

Any commercial or infomercial for any "tooth-whitening" product.

[JThunder]

Originally posted by Jeep's Phoenix
That commercial that begins with a lady singing "One pound of hamburger sits in my fridge..." It makes me want to throw the television out the window. (I think it's for some kind of Old Elpaso taco kits.)

It's for El Paso, and it grates on my nerves as well -- mostly because the lyrics to that song are so hopelessly insipid.

[NutWrench]

The AFLACK duck must die.

--Nut

[jayjay]

Originally posted by Stellablue
Bowflex!
I see that one so many times I could just scream!

But the eyecandy is lovely. Why can't the vice-presidents at my company look like him?!

jayjay

[Infovore]

Somebody should take that singing bellybutton commercial out and shoot it.

Wassup? I fail to see what's the slightest bit amusing about that one. The only one I thought was vaguely funny was the yuppies sitting around going "What are YOU doing?"

Anything with bare baby butts in it. I hate looking at bare baby butts.

That commercial for "Bibsters" that shows kids all covered with food slop (also the one for paper towels with the kid covered in rib goop). I can't stand commercials with food-messy kids (dirty or muddy doesn't bother me--just food).

While we're discussing commercials--does anybody know if the piece of music in the chicken pox commercial (the one where the toys cry) was written for it or if it can be found somewhere else? I love that piece.

[Qwertyasdfg]

The commercial with the song "All I wanna do is thank you..." It enrages me. I hate it so much that, in order for that commercial to not be effective I did an Orwellian doublethink to basically force myself to not remember which company did that commercial. In other words I intentionally went into denial so that the commercial wouldn't be effective. Thats how much I hate that fucking song.

[The Bitterdrunk Kid]

-Mazda commercials. That "zoom zoom" kid is really annoying. And I don't know anybody who really cares what driving a car feels like anymore. Most people want a car that won't break down in rush hour traffic.



You know what's wierd about that kid? He says "zoom zoom" exactly like the kid in the Sixth Sense says "I see dead people!"



Here's my list-

1. Flexmaster- first of all, I can't think that's gonna work. Second, I can't figure out what accent it is she's trying to use. Although it's not as annoying as Miss Cleo!

2. That stupid kid on drugs from the Dell commercials. You know the one where he's trying to sell them to some other kids parents?

[AMM9132]

I hate that "Epil Stop" commercial where they are advertising that hair removal spray where youjust spray it on and wipe of all the hair. For those who haven't seen it, there is this werewolf looking middle age man who has the hairiest back second only to a Sasquatch and he sprays the "Epil Stop" on and wipes this long strip of hair off his back. Nasty.
:: stomach turning ::

[The Bitterdrunk Kid]

I hate the anti-smoking commercial thats running now. It's set at "All-Smoke High" (I think), where it's a rule that you have to be constantly smoking. Then they show you the principal, who talks out of one of those electronic voice boxes. All of the kids have huge circles under their eyes, and a lot of the kids have cancer. Now, I know they're trying to keep people from smoking, and that's good. But I just can't see how this commercial is going to work. Of course if you have to chain smoke all day, everyday, then you're going to be pretty un-healthy! This commercial makes a good case against schools requiring students to smoke, and that's about it.

[brianjedi]

The first "Steve" Dell commercials were OK in a goofy sort of way. (I still say "Sorry about the rhododendrons, Mrs. Feffercorn.") The best thing about those, though, is the parody that TechTV's "The Screen Savers" did. It's hilarious, because Martin does a dead-on imitation of Steve's dorkiness.

For the record, no one has ever liked "Isuzu Joe."

The "Being (insert athlete here)" commercials on ESPN are kind of dumb. They all have the same plot, and they were never funny.

The TNN "We've got POP!" promos are annoying as heck. As much as I like the channel now, the guy in charge of those needs to be "popped" in the mouth.

-Brianjedi

[JohnT]

That horrible Taco Bell commercial with that idiot singing words to the tune of Bonanza? Ponderosa? - "I'm just a guy, a dude, and I'm hungry!"

PepsiCola - "Down Boy" with Brittany Spears.

[Gala Matrix Fire]

How 'bout the singing, swinging, skeletal sisters: "there's more to girls than meets the eye, we're strong and beautiful, no lie..." Soft & Dri commercial. Yeah, man! Hot pants and high heels, a pseudo-military chant, and mirrored sunglasses. Kafka-esque.

Personally, I liked Joe Isuzu. And Fred Rated for Federated.

The singing belly buttons are indeed nightmarish.

[Dragonblink]

I will second the aforementioned singing freaking bellybuttons, phone ads, and Epil Stop commercials (both spray and citrus) and I will also add the cel phone reception stickers (both kinds), any commercial narrated by a child, anything having to do with Old Navy, and all psychic numbers.

Am I the only one who sees the "College Girls Gone Wild" video commercial four THOUSAND times a night? The one that starts off with an Adult Material Not Suitable For Children disclaimer (as opposed to the adult material that IS suitable for children)? I hated that ad the first time I saw it and it's just gotten more irritating through repetition. Honestly, if I wanted a video tape of girls flashing the camera I'd go to my group of community college buds with a camera and say "Hey, everyone flash me!"

It figures, my hundredth post and I'm whining about ads. Could be worse, though, my 69th post was about microwave pork rinds ...

[gorewonfla]

Originally posted by bluethree
How 'bout the singing, swinging, skeletal sisters: "there's more to girls than meets the eye, we're strong and beautiful, no lie..." Soft & Dri commercial. Yeah, man! Hot pants and high heels, a pseudo-military chant, and mirrored sunglasses. Kafka-esque.

I don't think Kafka would've thought THAT up even if he was tripping on acid.

[Sylkyn]

I simply loathe those damn Geiko ads they repeat ad nauseum on MSNBC. They run three in a row...every single time they take a commercial break!

If I see that stupid lizard licking his eyeball one more time, I swear I'm going to hurl a damn brick through the tv screen.

[Ferggie]

Carl's...Junior...

Thankfully I don't see them much anymore. They were in full force when I was in advertising class, and I think pretty much everyone in the class agreed that they were disgusting, horrible, stupid commercials.

"If it doesn't get all over the place, it doesn't go in your face."

BLEAGH!

[DKW]

Saw the bellybutton one once, thank the Seven Heavens, during a USA Network showing of Street Fighter: The Movie. I found it infinitely more stomach-churning than anything in the movie. Yes, it was that bad.

Agree on the unbelievably insipid AFLAC and GEICO commercials. Sheesh, how is poking fun at the name of your company supposed to sell anything??

Hate, hate, HATE the moronic, stomach-churning Movie Channel commercials which have the say the word "movies" over and over to Ode to Joy. It's not enough that those barbarians had to bucher one of the finest classical pieces of all time, but they did it for a commercial idea that a SIX-YEAR-OLD could have thought up!

Patience wearing really thin with the American Express (or whatever, I don't even bother to watch anymore) commercials that show a panicky woman rail on about her situation. Dammit, I don't want to see human suffering! Just get to the freaking point!

Really wish BASF would just give it a rest already. All right, you make a lot of products better, you're good people, we get it already.

It's been ages since Budweiser has had a decent commercial. They should have killed the lizards bit at least six months before they did, and I don't even get "Wassssup" or its knockoffs.

Please, no more talking babies.

Or talking animals.

The Sportscenter promos used to be funny, but now they're flat-out surreal. Man, someone must be smoking something over there.

For sheer gall, however, nothing can top the smarmy Philip Morris commercials. I mean, my GOD. What, peddling your coffin nails isn't enough; you also have to insult our intellgience?

Whew...I fell a lot better now. (The hell I do... )

[Mann Slaughter]

1) The Desani bottled water commercials.
The ones I've seen feature R&B, and rap music legends, The Gap Band, and Sugarhill Gang respectively. They have these guys singing classic songs from MY youth to shill their water. (It's alright if they use music from someone else's youth) It might not be so bad if the actions in the commercial were even remotely related to the songs(!)

2) Any baby diaper commercial!
Typically, they have older children with full sets of teeth running around doing "adult stuff" (office work, etc) while wearing only a diaper. I swear, some of these kids look like they'll be shaving tomorrow!

[Biotop]

There's currently some ad from a hotel chain that offers free travel points or something like that. All I know is that the ad ends with some kid playing golf with an old lady who keeps laughing like a hyena. How I hate this ad. The whole commercial is so obnoxious and even though I've seen it a hundred times I still can't remember what friggin' hotel chain it is and what the travel offer is. Good job, advertising agency!

[gorewonfla]

Originally posted by Biotop
There's currently some ad from a hotel chain that offers free travel points or something like that. All I know is that the ad ends with some kid playing golf with an old lady who keeps laughing like a hyena. How I hate this ad. The whole commercial is so obnoxious and even though I've seen it a hundred times I still can't remember what friggin' hotel chain it is and what the travel offer is. Good job, advertising agency!

That's Holiday Inn. I've been to one twice, and both times I got horrible service.

[Stellablue]

So we hate lots of these ads. But notice that we often can't remember what product or company they are for! It is not working! We get the joke or hate the joke or the jingle or whatever but we don't know what is being advertised. Have the ads gotten to the point that they are only trying to be clever or artful or offbeat but miss the point? I can't remember which clever ad is for which car. Is is just overload?

[vanilla]

Oh yes. Carrot top.
I keep expecting him to suddenyl pop up in a regular show..
He is actually more annoying than Gilbert Gottfreid.

[Lute Skywatcher]

Would somebody please shoot that fool wearing The Riddler's hand-me-downs?

And what's with the jock making fun of the SportsCenter guy's name?

[xizor]

I can't stand any commercial for Jack-in-the-Box. I will never eat at that restaurant for the mere fact that the guy with the big white plastic head annoys the crap out of me. I want to smack it like a pinata.

[bernse]

My top hate commercial right now is (I think) from Buck-a-day computers.

It starts out with some really, really lame song "Do you really want a clone"

Cuts to some real ugly kid with braces (obviously the camera-mans kid or something) who shouts "Nooooooooo!"

Chorus again -"Do you really want a cloooone..."

Cuts to some other kid that they dug up just yells"No!!!"

They also have in real small print at the screen something like "$199 shipping and handling not included"

BTW - What the hell is a "clone" a "clone" of in this day and age? Its not like IBM is the premier making of x86 machines.


<gack!>

[Oblong]

That arthritis drug where they sing the name of the drug over and over. Don't know the name of it but it sounds like "Celebrate!" So it's "Celebrate! Celebrate!" over and over again while the lady dances in the park.

[Slacker]

Originally posted by xizor
I can't stand any commercial for Jack-in-the-Box. I will never eat at that restaurant for the mere fact that the guy with the big white plastic head annoys the crap out of me. I want to smack it like a pinata.

Jack's are about the only commercials I can tolerate. They're even kinda funny once in a while (the first 800 times at least).

Thank the Good Dude that they're not showing them anymore, but everytime I saw those freaking Verizon Wireless ads with the "People Just Wanna Be Free" song in them I thought to myself, hey - why am I not pouring boiling water on my genitals? If it wasn't bad enough to torture us with these frickin slo-mo peace sign fake hippies once, they ALWAYS ran them twice in sucession, so you were gauranteed a double dose everytime.

I also despise the Cingular Wireless ads. "We're a big heartless corporation that believes in self expression!" What the hell does a cell phone have to do with self expression?

Also, what the hell is wrong with Coors light? Does anyone actually watch their ads before the agency sends 'em to the TV studios? The "want a cold one" series is without a doubt the stupidest chain of ads I've seen in a long time.

And I'll second the nominations for anything involving that little "zoom zoom" bastard. And the Aflac duck. And Geico. Damn I watch too much TV.

[Slacker]

Originally posted by Oblong
That arthritis drug where they sing the name of the drug over and over. Don't know the name of it but it sounds like "Celebrate!" So it's "Celebrate! Celebrate!" over and over again while the lady dances in the park.

LOL yeah that one sucks pretty royally. It reminds me of another one. It's for some type of denture adhesive. It has a bunch of oldies-but-goodies as a symphony biting in to corn et al while a conductor leads them.

[Lute Skywatcher]

Oh, great, bernse had to go and remind me of PeoplePC and their precocious (ugh!) spokeskid. 25 bucks a month for both the PC and the Net service? Yeah, right, what's the catch?

[Jodi]

I have to third the Epil-Stop commercial. And fourth it and fifth it. It is the worst.

I was sitting on the couch this weekend, eating Trader Joe's spicy tortilla chips, drinking a Diet Coke and channel-surfing. What did I see? A loving close-up of some chick's hairy armpit being spritzed with some spray. I wasn't sure what to do first, throw up the chips or scrub my eyeballs.

Jeez, the next thing you know we'll be seeing douche demonstrations.

[Sunspace]

Oy.

I moved a month ago, and didn't order new cable television service. And my VCR blew up a week before the move, so I can't get anything off the air. (I used an old Amiga monitor to display the picture.)

This thread reminds me of half of the reason why I don't really miss TV*.

The other half of the reason was a calculation somewhat like the following:

• Cable internet service from Rogers: $40/month.
• Minimum package of TV channels: $17/month.
• Package of TV channels containing channels I actually want to watch: $25/month.

Minimal cost including service charges etc: $84/month. And no roomates to share it with.

Of course, if you want the Fancy Digital Channels, the digital cable box is another 10.95/month. And then there's digital programming packages and specialty channels on top of that.

So I could easily spend more than $100/month on cable.

^{*Except Teletoon. And The Simpsons. Oh yeah, and Space, the science fiction channel. And CBC Newsworld. But except for them...}

[Ethilrist]

Those soda ads start out funny, the Obey Your Thirst ones, because they make traditional commerical icons look goofy (basketball players bumping their heads into doorways). Then they spoil it with the attitude, Obey your Thirst! Ignore commercials! (well, except this one...).

Any Old Navy commercial. As a wise person once said, making an Old Navy commercial doesn't mean your career has hit bottom. It means your career has hit bottom, face down and skidding...

[Superdude]

Originally posted by Legomancer
Any and all Mountain Dew commercials and, byt association, those who drink Mountain Dew.

I'm truly sorry to hear that. For I am a Mountain Dew addict. I love the stuff, and have been drinking it since well before this current commerical trend started. Which commercial do I hate? Just about all of them.

[Zebra]

Are you ready for a cold one?


All of it's stupid permutations as well.

[elmwood]

I don't know if this counts as a commercial, but I absolutely cannot stand the screaming, mullet-headed guy who sells baseball cards on the "Shop at Home" broadcast that dominates late night programming on low-budget UHF independent stations.

What does that guy have against the Buffalo Bills, anyhow?

[Intrinsic]

Any pharmaceutical commercial. Peppy music, smiling faces, and sentimental moments describing the new wonders of drug "whatever." The most annoying part is when the monotone voice quickly describes the side effects (paraphrasing) as "some users may encounter side effects fatigue, nausea, achiness, soft stools, incontinence, headaches, liver disease, and rarely death."

[White Queen]

I abhor the Herbal Essence "Urge" commercials. All of them. I will never buy anything by Clairol ever again because I hate those commercials so much.
There is another commercial that runs on local tv, usually during Mariner games, for Honda lawn equipment featuring a Great Dane named "Bluebell". All I have to say is Bluebell must die!!!!

[stolichnaya]

So we hate lots of these ads. But notice that we often can't remember what product or company they are for! It is not working! We get the joke or hate the joke or the jingle or whatever but we don't know what is being advertised. Have the ads gotten to the point that they are only trying to be clever or artful or offbeat but miss the point? I can't remember which clever ad is for which car. Is is just overload?

This is an interesting question. Ironically, the reasoning behind these "quirky" or "joke" ads is the very reaction shown in this thread. People are so attuned to marketing BS that they look for it in everything. The strategy behind these ads is to get the brand out there in the context of entertainment rather than selling. Is that still BS? Sure. Does it work better or worse than obvious marketing? Who knows. Because the wonderful secret of advertising is that everyone knows they need to do it, and nobody knows how to tell if it's working. Ah, capitalism.

[Three Dog Night]

Another annoying commercial is the Friendly's one with the grandfather talking to the baby. No grandfather, ever, would go on and on about a restaurant to a baby. Also, all the other Friendly's commercials are pretty annoying. They all end with that girl with a lisp saying "you and me at fwiendly's." I'm never eating there again.

I also second all nominations for the GEICO gecko and pharmaceutical commercials. For those of you who hate AFLAC, you should know that you can buy a duck that says "aflac, aflac...aflaaaaaaaaaaaac" from them. I got one for free at a fundraiser with them this year.

[Netbrian]

Where I live, ads for the Shang Company appear on the raido WAY TOO FREAKING much. If I wanted to listen to a guy talking in a slow, emotionless, monotone, I could at least get my computer to do it and hear something interesting.

[Spatial Rift 47]

The problem with the title of this thread is that it assumes that there are some commercials I don't absolutely hate.