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  #251  
Old 11-20-2017, 12:32 PM
QuickSilver QuickSilver is online now
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Originally Posted by IvoryTowerDenizen View Post
You know what? Iím am in no way an heiress, but Iím perfectly capable of supporting myself. Iím not sure why the only options are gold-digging leech hoping to take your daughtersí inheritance or heiress.
Because BIRGing.
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  #252  
Old 11-20-2017, 12:59 PM
IvoryTowerDenizen IvoryTowerDenizen is offline
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Because BIRGing.
Ah- see, now that makes sense.
  #253  
Old 11-20-2017, 01:02 PM
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It's so odd...I've literally never heard anyone use the word "heir" or "heiress" in describing themselves or people they know in normal conversation. Like...never.
I've noticed that he will never leave to the imagination any detail that even remotely reflects positively on him, no matter how irrelevant that detail is to the matter at hand. Kind of like that person who name drops constantly or goes out of their way to tell you what designer brands they own.

His latest FB isn't just a woman he met online. Nah, she's a heiress...and a Jewish one at that! So you know she must rich, smart, and exotically beautiful. That's the box he's put her in in his brain, and that's how he wants us to see her. Because if we assume she might just be a regular average woman, then we might see him as average too.
  #254  
Old 11-20-2017, 01:04 PM
Sarahfeena Sarahfeena is offline
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I've noticed that he will never leave to the imagination any detail that even remotely reflects positively on him, no matter how irrelevant that detail is to the matter at hand. Kind of like that person who name drops constantly or goes out of their way to tell you what designer brands they own.

His latest FB isn't just a woman he met online. Nah, she's a heiress...and a Jewish one at that! So you know she must rich, smart, and exotically beautiful. That's the box he's put her in in his brain, and that's how he wants us to see her. Because if we assume she might just be a regular average woman, then we might see him as average too.
Yes, I think you're exactly right. The funny thing is, it's such a meaningless word...I mean, I'm an heiress too, if you count the 1/4 share I'll get in my parents' house someday.
  #255  
Old 11-20-2017, 02:27 PM
erysichthon erysichthon is offline
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Originally Posted by Shagnasty View Post
Then again, maybe you know me better than I know myself. I am replying to this even though I said I wouldn't and you predicted I would. You were certainly right. Bees and honey and all that.
It's "flies and honey." You're the fly in that relationship, not the bee.

Last edited by erysichthon; 11-20-2017 at 02:28 PM.
  #256  
Old 11-20-2017, 02:35 PM
erysichthon erysichthon is offline
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Originally Posted by expectopatronum View Post
Shags you are doing a terrible job at not responding to this thread.
I'm sure he'll be back any moment now to explain that he's really, really good at this online dating thing, and he has no problem getting multiple dates every week. Also, he's super picky because he doesn't want a gold digger or a hosebeast, but fortunately he has a date coming up with an heiress who meets all of his requirements. Oh, and that threat he posted and deleted was totally not a threat, and has nothing to do with the myriad times he's bragged about taking revenge on people.
  #257  
Old 11-20-2017, 02:38 PM
Penfeather Penfeather is offline
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Yes, I think you're exactly right. The funny thing is, it's such a meaningless word...I mean, I'm an heiress too, if you count the 1/4 share I'll get in my parents' house someday.
I suspect that his little town had a "society" column in the newspaper, next to the stories of barn fires, foot-and-mouth outbreaks and lynchings, and Shaggy latched onto the term heiress delightedly because his brain lives in the shittier parts of 1957 and women ought to be defined by either how they look or what they're going to own. Here in 2017, it just looks weirdly anachronistic: I mean, I suppose I could call my wife "the Japanese heiress", but it would look silly.
  #258  
Old 11-20-2017, 02:47 PM
Penfeather Penfeather is offline
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Because BIRGing.
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The opposite of BIRGing is cutting off reflected failure (CORFing). This is the idea that people tend to disassociate themselves from lower-status individuals because they do not want their reputations affected by associating with the people who are considered failures.
Turn your head and CORF.
  #259  
Old 11-20-2017, 04:27 PM
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I suspect that his little town had a "society" column in the newspaper, next to the stories of barn fires, foot-and-mouth outbreaks and lynchings, and Shaggy latched onto the term heiress delightedly because his brain lives in the shittier parts of 1957 and women ought to be defined by either how they look or what they're going to own.
And how much of a big shot their daddy is.

Because it's all about breeding. The only proper mate of an heir is an heiress. Anything less and he's settling for a hose beast charity case.
  #260  
Old 11-20-2017, 04:57 PM
Sarahfeena Sarahfeena is offline
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I suspect that his little town had a "society" column in the newspaper, next to the stories of barn fires, foot-and-mouth outbreaks and lynchings, and Shaggy latched onto the term heiress delightedly because his brain lives in the shittier parts of 1957 and women ought to be defined by either how they look or what they're going to own. Here in 2017, it just looks weirdly anachronistic: I mean, I suppose I could call my wife "the Japanese heiress", but it would look silly.
Exactly! I mean, I know a few people who are going to come into a looooooot of cash someday (apparently there's more than one junk mail empire in the world, who'd have thunk it?) and trying to picture any of them referring to themselves as an "heiress" is just hilarious.
  #261  
Old 11-20-2017, 05:01 PM
nearwildheaven nearwildheaven is offline
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I'm sure he'll be back any moment now to explain that he's really, really good at this online dating thing, and he has no problem getting multiple dates every week. Also, he's super picky because he doesn't want a gold digger or a hosebeast, but fortunately he has a date coming up with an heiress who meets all of his requirements. Oh, and that threat he posted and deleted was totally not a threat, and has nothing to do with the myriad times he's bragged about taking revenge on people.
Just you wait. This time next week, he'll be on here complaining about how she ghosted him too.

  #262  
Old 11-20-2017, 06:05 PM
Beckdawrek Beckdawrek is offline
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I inherited my Daddy's credit card debt, boy that made me a richer person. I learned how to talk to c.c. collection departments, and chase down the companies they sold the debt to. Til his measly insurance policy paid so I could pay the bills. It was a blast being a heiress for about 2 years. Then I had to arrange to sell his house and cars, all this while my 6 living sibs were complaining ( they were heirs also). Yea, goodtimes, goodtimes!

Last edited by Beckdawrek; 11-20-2017 at 06:06 PM.
  #263  
Old 11-20-2017, 06:28 PM
erysichthon erysichthon is offline
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Originally Posted by nearwildheaven View Post
Just you wait. This time next week, he'll be on here complaining about how she ghosted him too.

Or she'll show up for the date in flip-flops. That's a deal-breaker!
  #264  
Old 11-20-2017, 06:31 PM
Shagnasty Shagnasty is offline
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Originally Posted by nearwildheaven View Post
Just you wait. This time next week, he'll be on here complaining about how she ghosted him too.

I don't think that is going to happen because that lunch date went really well again. We are in a relationship now. Fortunately, she is well under 40 so I dodged that bullet. Even more fortunately, she has my same personality and meets all of my requirements. Who would have thought that a pretty Long Island girl knows how to work on muscle cars and loves to drag race? That is hot right there. There really is a lid for every pot.

I will be off the dating sites at least for a while so the rest of the world can breath a little easier now.

Last edited by Shagnasty; 11-20-2017 at 06:32 PM.
  #265  
Old 11-20-2017, 06:41 PM
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It is always a relief when a smell drifts away.
  #266  
Old 11-20-2017, 06:41 PM
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I don't think that is going to happen because that lunch date went really well again. We are in a relationship now. Fortunately, she is well under 40 so I dodged that bullet. Even more fortunately, she has my same personality and meets all of my requirements. Who would have thought that a pretty Long Island girl knows how to work on muscle cars and loves to drag race? That is hot right there. There really is a lid for every pot.
When will you tell her they you donít want to get married and have kids with her?
  #267  
Old 11-20-2017, 06:44 PM
Shagnasty Shagnasty is offline
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When will you tell her they you donít want to get married and have kids with her?
That is the beauty of it, she doesn't want that either. She already has a one and only child that takes up most of her time. Like I said, she meets ALL of my requirements.
  #268  
Old 11-20-2017, 07:11 PM
Arrogantly Ignorant Arrogantly Ignorant is offline
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That is the beauty of it, she doesn't want that either. She already has a one and only child that takes up most of her time. Like I said, she meets ALL of my requirements.
(Bolding mine)

Yeah, that's something imaginary girlfriends are really good at doing.
  #269  
Old 11-20-2017, 07:21 PM
Shagnasty Shagnasty is offline
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(Bolding mine)

Yeah, that's something imaginary girlfriends are really good at doing.
She is no Morgan Fairchild, I can tell you that much, but she is real. If you keep playing long enough, you will eventually hit a straight flush and maybe even a Royal Flush. It is just a numbers game that requires some skill and credentials. Getting a high quality date is easy. Finding a personality match for me is extremely difficult. It has only happened a few times in my life. I am sure you are all shocked by that revelation. The most recent other one was married and it caused lots of problems for her because I was a much better match to her than her husband yet we couldn't do anything about it except have an emotional affair.

Last edited by Shagnasty; 11-20-2017 at 07:22 PM.
  #270  
Old 11-20-2017, 07:42 PM
Beckdawrek Beckdawrek is offline
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Once again, I am sitting here , mouth agape. How can this go on and on and on and on? I am slightly nauseated..
  #271  
Old 11-20-2017, 07:46 PM
Penfeather Penfeather is offline
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Exactly! I mean, I know a few people who are going to come into a looooooot of cash someday (apparently there's more than one junk mail empire in the world, who'd have thunk it?) and trying to picture any of them referring to themselves as an "heiress" is just hilarious.
There's something weirdly Jane Austen about a world view in which women are judged solely on their looks, dowries, and fashionable accomplishments, which they have to negotiate into securing a husband while they're still of marriageable age: it's like Sense and Sensibility written by Bret Easton Ellis.
  #272  
Old 11-20-2017, 07:48 PM
erysichthon erysichthon is offline
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I will be off the dating sites at least for a while so the rest of the world can breath a little easier now.
So the dating sites get a break, but we don't. Awesome.
  #273  
Old 11-20-2017, 07:49 PM
expectopatronum expectopatronum is offline
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Shags, for the last time, fuck the fuck off with that charity bullshit. Dating is not charity. What the actual fuck is wrong with you? Seriously? You're a sick, delusional, misogynistic, objectifying shitstain on 99 cent toilet tissue. The kind they put in public toilets that feels like cardboard. You have no redeeming qualities whatsoever. I believe you're in a lasting relationship just as much as I believed tdn (whatever happened to him?) when he said he and his internet girlfriend who had met twice had a bond stronger than couples of ten years standing. In other words, not at fucking all, you pus encrusted boil who's so far into the closet he's met a talking lion. Jesus christ almighty.
  #274  
Old 11-20-2017, 08:02 PM
Sicks Ate Sicks Ate is offline
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In other words, not at fucking all, you pus encrusted boil who's so far into the closet he's met a talking lion.
It's his underarms that are pus encrusted:

Shagnasty05-10-2006, 10:29 PM

I have never had much problem with underarm odor. I have certainly never had strong BO. Many other people's underarm odor smells like onions or perhaps some canned food gone bad. Mine smells like vagina. I ran out of deodorant about three weeks ago and after a few days I stuck a finger under there and smelled. It smelled exactly like pus.

Last edited by Sicks Ate; 11-20-2017 at 08:02 PM.
  #275  
Old 11-20-2017, 08:02 PM
Guinastasia Guinastasia is offline
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Yes. Her family was one of the founders of the junk mail industry and still own a lot of it. Flame away. She moved to be away from her family though. They have more than enough money but more drama than the Soprantos. Sign me up. That is what I am here for.


"Founders of the junk mail industry" = ordinary business owners. Or the postmasters who provided them with a list of addresses.

Oh, and who are the "Soprantos"?
  #276  
Old 11-20-2017, 08:07 PM
Left Hand of Dorkness Left Hand of Dorkness is offline
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Oh, and who are the "Soprantos"?
They stand on street corners and sing arias about chemtrails and the Illuminati.
  #277  
Old 11-20-2017, 08:09 PM
Beckdawrek Beckdawrek is offline
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Shit, that pit odor thing. WTF?
  #278  
Old 11-20-2017, 08:11 PM
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...it's like Sense and Sensibility written by Bret Easton Ellis.



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Originally Posted by Shagnasty View Post
She is no Morgan Fairchild, I can tell you that much, but she is real.

Interesting bar you set.
Joyce DeWitt doesn't, quite, do it for ya?

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Originally Posted by Shagnasty View Post
Fortunately, she is well under 40 so I dodged that bullet.

Whew ::brow sweat wiped off::


Putting on heirs?
  #279  
Old 11-20-2017, 08:21 PM
Penfeather Penfeather is offline
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Sever and Severability, by Bret Austen Ellis:

Quote:
It is a truth universally to be deplored that a single woman past the age of two-score is an avaricious beldam in pursuit of the vast estate to which the man of the world falls natural heir, and is fit for naught but pushing feet-first through that really expensive kind of Swedish woodchipper which I totally do own, the ugly strumpet.
  #280  
Old 11-20-2017, 08:23 PM
Shagnasty Shagnasty is offline
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You're a sick, delusional, misogynistic, objectifying shitstain on 99 cent toilet tissue. The kind they put in public toilets that feels like cardboard. You have no redeeming qualities whatsoever. I believe you're in a lasting relationship just as much as I believed tdn (whatever happened to him?) when he said he and his internet girlfriend who had met twice had a bond stronger than couples of ten years standing. In other words, not at fucking all, you pus encrusted boil who's so far into the closet he's met a talking lion. Jesus christ almighty.
I am starting to get the feeling that you don't like me very much. I enjoy your posts and wish you and your family a happy Thanksgiving even if we have some minor disagreements from time to time.
  #281  
Old 11-20-2017, 08:35 PM
expectopatronum expectopatronum is offline
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Thank you, we will. But do I deserve to enjoy my family and my boyfriend, seeing as how I don't have a perfect face, body, and am not an heir to any fortunes? I may be one of those you see walking around the supermarket with my boyfriend that you'd describe as a hosebeast. By your own admissions, you have no use for anyone less than perfect. Why would I like someone who views me in such a way? Would you?
  #282  
Old 11-20-2017, 08:43 PM
Bryan Ekers Bryan Ekers is offline
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Damn you people for making me jealous and wistful.
That's still better than Shag, who's witless and jizzfull.
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  #283  
Old 11-20-2017, 08:49 PM
razncain razncain is offline
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I am starting to get the feeling that you don't like me very much.
Naw, after what expectopatronum said, what gave it away?

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Originally Posted by Shagnasty View Post
I saw a picture once and your husband really is that hot. Up until that point, I thought I was a heterosexual Kinsey scale 1 (straight as an arrow) but I know now that isn't true. Is there a word for someone who is only capable of lusting after one specific person and no one else?
Yeah, there's a word for it if it's is of the same sex. And let me put in the disclaimer, "not that's there is anything wrong with that." Shaggie, do you plan on showing her this thread?


Amusing thread, OP really did their homework, and that #77 by erysichthon was gold, I tell ya, showing all the quotes gathered up of how many times Shagnasty has to remind everybody that he's 100% as heterosexual as they come.
  #284  
Old 11-20-2017, 09:10 PM
raventhief raventhief is offline
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That is the beauty of it, she doesn't want that either. She already has a one and only child that takes up most of her time. Like I said, she meets ALL of my requirements.
You should tell her the story about the prank. See if you really are the perfect match.

Last edited by raventhief; 11-20-2017 at 09:12 PM.
  #285  
Old 11-20-2017, 09:51 PM
TokyoBayer TokyoBayer is offline
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You should tell her the story about the prank. See if you really are the perfect match.
That's the best thing about imaginary friends. Totally accepting of everything.
  #286  
Old 11-20-2017, 09:55 PM
Richard Parker Richard Parker is offline
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Shagnasty:

Now that you're back and participating, a question--

Do you think your views on women had anything to do with why you had so much conflict in grad school that you had to drop out?
  #287  
Old 11-20-2017, 10:08 PM
Lamia Lamia is offline
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That's the best thing about imaginary friends. Totally accepting of everything.
You know, I actually find it somewhat plausible that a junk mail heiress would be willing to go out with Shagnasty. Such a woman would presumably be used to empty boasts and misleading claims, and might even be sympathetic towards someone who tries to make himself look important but actually has nothing worthwhile to offer.
  #288  
Old 11-20-2017, 10:24 PM
Shagnasty Shagnasty is offline
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You know, I actually find it somewhat plausible that a junk mail heiress would be willing to go out with Shagnasty. Such a woman would presumably be used to empty boasts and misleading claims, and might even be sympathetic towards someone who tries to make himself look important but actually has nothing worthwhile to offer.
It isn't just plausible. It is a fact. I just got off the phone with her after our date today and the drama in her family is incredible but that is the type of thing that I am attracted to. She is very sweet herself with just subtle notes of crazy. It is a near perfect personality match along with everything else. She has to head back to Long Island tomorrow for Thanksgiving but she will be back this weekend and we can go out again. She is like the female version of me and that is what I want.

The only reason she contacted me in the first place was that I told her that her profile was too demanding.

Last edited by Shagnasty; 11-20-2017 at 10:28 PM.
  #289  
Old 11-20-2017, 10:28 PM
TokyoBayer TokyoBayer is offline
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You know, I actually find it somewhat plausible that a junk mail heiress would be willing to go out with Shagnasty.
I donno. This is a pattern where the right woman shows up on page 6 or 7 of whatever dating thread he's doing at the moment.

I buy him having kids and such, but who knows what else is true.
  #290  
Old 11-20-2017, 10:40 PM
cmyk cmyk is online now
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Yes. Her family was one of the founders of the junk mail industry and still own a lot of it. Flame away. She moved to be away from her family though. They have more than enough money but more drama than the Soprantos. Sign me up. That is what I am here for.
The Soprantos. Heee... Is that like the Mexican version of the mafia?
  #291  
Old 11-20-2017, 11:21 PM
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She is like the female version of me and that is what I want.
Her pits smell like schweddy balls? Hey, whatever floats your boat.

Last edited by Muffin; 11-20-2017 at 11:22 PM.
  #292  
Old 11-20-2017, 11:21 PM
Beckdawrek Beckdawrek is offline
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Remember the Star Trek movie where Bones and Kirk are imprisoned on the frozen prison planet. And they escape and Kirk has a fist fight with the shape shifter who looks just like him. So, Shag wants to date himself. That is as bad an egomaniacal asshole a person could get. Wow!
  #293  
Old 11-20-2017, 11:27 PM
Shagnasty Shagnasty is offline
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Thank you, we will. But do I deserve to enjoy my family and my boyfriend, seeing as how I don't have a perfect face, body, and am not an heir to any fortunes? I may be one of those you see walking around the supermarket with my boyfriend that you'd describe as a hosebeast. By your own admissions, you have no use for anyone less than perfect. Why would I like someone who views me in such a way? Would you?
I have seen your pictures on other boards. You certainly aren't a hose-beast. You are pretty hot in an unusual way. If I wasn't in a relationship, I would take you out for the time of life in a second. Let me know if you ever come the Boston area and we can have lots of fun. Best wishes in the mean time.

Last edited by Shagnasty; 11-20-2017 at 11:28 PM.
  #294  
Old 11-20-2017, 11:35 PM
Penfeather Penfeather is offline
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She is like the female version of me and that is what I want.
She was raised a poor black child?
  #295  
Old 11-20-2017, 11:42 PM
Morbo Morbo is offline
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If I wasn't in a relationship, I would take you out for the time of life in a second.
Donít you mean 21,600 seconds?
  #296  
Old 11-21-2017, 12:10 AM
Penfeather Penfeather is offline
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No, a second is about how long it would take.
  #297  
Old 11-21-2017, 12:37 AM
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I have seen your pictures on other boards. You certainly aren't a hose-beast. You are pretty hot in an unusual way. If I wasn't in a relationship, I would take you out for the time of life in a second. Let me know if you ever come the Boston area and we can have lots of fun. Best wishes in the mean time.
Yup, he's a nasty creep.
  #298  
Old 11-21-2017, 12:50 AM
Guinastasia Guinastasia is offline
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He asked me out once, but I wear flip-flops and sports jerseys to museums. Alas, we could never be.
  #299  
Old 11-21-2017, 12:51 AM
Half Man Half Wit Half Man Half Wit is online now
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Come on, this is just blatant trolling.

This thread has kinda become my "Keeping up with the Kardashians", but Shag, I really expect a better performance than that.

Last edited by Half Man Half Wit; 11-21-2017 at 12:52 AM.
  #300  
Old 11-21-2017, 02:22 AM
TokyoBayer TokyoBayer is offline
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Originally Posted by Half Man Half Wit View Post
Come on, this is just blatant trolling.

This thread has kinda become my "Keeping up with the Kardashians", but Shag, I really expect a better performance than that.
Yeah, he's just mailing it in now.
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