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  #1  
Old 11-25-2017, 02:46 PM
gigi gigi is offline
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Brits must have a kettle on the stovetop at all times...?

As I took the kettle out of the up-high cabinet where I never go (which ended up holding many things I didn't remember I own) to have my biannual hot chocolate, I wondered, do British people get in trouble if a kettle is not sitting on their stovetop at all times? Can a policeman politely enter your home and check? What community service is imposed for violators?

Also, will I get in trouble for putting non-Pods pods in my Tide Pods container?
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Old 11-25-2017, 02:48 PM
Baron Greenback Baron Greenback is offline
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Stove-top kettles are pretty rare these days, and it has been permitted to be without one since 1971, but the Electric Kettle Enforcement Agency is ever vigilant.

Last edited by Baron Greenback; 11-25-2017 at 02:49 PM.
  #3  
Old 11-25-2017, 03:13 PM
Lickety_Split Lickety_Split is offline
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Stove-top kettles are pretty rare these days, and it has been permitted to be without one since 1971, but the Electric Kettle Enforcement Agency is ever vigilant.
Spot on, mate. One does not want to get on the wrong side of the dreaded EKEA. Those blokes can be bloody wankers if you cross them.
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Old 11-25-2017, 03:22 PM
Baron Greenback Baron Greenback is offline
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Spot on, mate. One does not want to get on the wrong side of the dreaded EKEA. Those blokes can be bloody wankers if you cross them.
I was reported to them a couple of years ago by a chap from the Gas Board who'd come round to service my boiler. Apparently, I took longer than the proscribed 30 seconds to offer him a cuppa. I had to attend a series of evening classes on "The Vital Importance of a Cup of Tea and a Nice Sit Down".

I took my lumps and got on with my life, but it was a rough time.
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Old 11-25-2017, 03:33 PM
chacoguy chacoguy is offline
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What happens when all the Brits turn their kettles at the same time.
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Old 11-25-2017, 03:34 PM
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Is it true that the EKEA has trucks they drive around with special antennas in them that can detect electric kettles in the flats they pass?
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Old 11-25-2017, 03:38 PM
Gatopescado Gatopescado is online now
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I took my lumps and got on with my life, but it was a rough time.
And how many lumps did he take? Milk?
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Old 11-25-2017, 03:39 PM
Gatopescado Gatopescado is online now
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Is it true that the EKEA has trucks they drive around with special antennas in them that can detect electric kettles in the flats they pass?
Reconfigured "Cat Detector" Vans, obviously.
  #9  
Old 11-25-2017, 04:05 PM
Baron Greenback Baron Greenback is offline
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Is it true that the EKEA has trucks they drive around with special antennas in them that can detect electric kettles in the flats they pass?
That's what they'd have us believe. Few are willing to speak publicly about this, lest hard-faced men come a-calling, just before the dawn. No-one wants to be the subject of a surprise Kettle Audit. No-one.

Last edited by Baron Greenback; 11-25-2017 at 04:05 PM.
  #10  
Old 11-25-2017, 04:50 PM
Filbert Filbert is offline
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It's terrible when you're moving house. I had to buy an extra kettle last time, to ensure I was able to provide a cuppa on demand at both the old and the new house.

I'm considering getting one of those emergency car ones, just in case, but then what would I do for milk?
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Old 11-25-2017, 05:00 PM
DPRK DPRK is offline
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The EKEA make me laugh compared to their Russian counterparts.
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Old 11-25-2017, 05:02 PM
running coach running coach is online now
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It's terrible when you're moving house. I had to buy an extra kettle last time, to ensure I was able to provide a cuppa on demand at both the old and the new house.

I'm considering getting one of those emergency car ones, just in case, but then what would I do for milk?
How about a few of these?

Last edited by running coach; 11-25-2017 at 05:02 PM.
  #13  
Old 11-25-2017, 05:10 PM
Baron Greenback Baron Greenback is offline
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The EKEA make me laugh compared to their Russian counterparts.
Ah, the Federal Samovar Service of the Russian Federation!

EKEA don't really go in for gulags, they specialize more in excruciating social embarrassment which, for the average Briton, is way worse.

Last edited by Baron Greenback; 11-25-2017 at 05:12 PM.
  #14  
Old 11-25-2017, 06:04 PM
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Reconfigured "Cat Detector" Vans, obviously.
What happens when they find a cat that hasn't been confused?
  #15  
Old 11-25-2017, 06:04 PM
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Reconfigured "Cat Detector" Vans, obviously.
Loony detector vans, you mean.
  #16  
Old 11-25-2017, 06:05 PM
Ludovic Ludovic is offline
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How much do electric induction water warmers cost? The last time I went to Europe I fell in love with them since they are so much faster than both a kettle and a microwave.

So one could substitute an induction tea kettle for those short-notice tea necessities
  #17  
Old 11-25-2017, 06:51 PM
running coach running coach is online now
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Loony detector vans, you mean.
It's people like what cause unrest.
  #18  
Old 11-25-2017, 10:41 PM
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I'm happy to report that out here in Her Majesty's Dominion, the electric kettle is alive and well.
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Old 11-25-2017, 10:44 PM
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But the kettle's on to boil
And we're so easily called away
  #20  
Old 11-26-2017, 01:58 AM
Tibby or Not Tibby Tibby or Not Tibby is offline
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Brits do indeed love their cuppas.

I grew up in New Jersey. Philadelphia raised Dad (385th Fighter Squadron of the 364th Fighter Group, Honington Air Base) married Orpington, Kent raised Mom (bombed out of 3 houses in “Bomb Alley”) in 1945 and brought his beloved wife back to live in the States for the rest of their lives.

I recall no day in their 70 year marriage that my parents did not enjoy at least one cuppa tea each and every day. Their last cups were the day they each died.

I remember how grown up I felt when Mom taught me how to properly brew tea when I was 4. I delighted in making tea for my neighborhood chums. Our stovetop kettle hardly had time to cool.

...think I'll make a cup right now.
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  #21  
Old 11-26-2017, 08:01 AM
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Well, I’ll have you know there is always a stovetop kettle on my stove top, ever at the ready. (Even now, I can say with absolute certainty though I be thousands of miles from home!)

And if you come in my house, within a few minutes of your arrival you WILL be offered a cup (cuppa? I think not, eh?) of tea. It will be brewed in a pot, served on a tray along with some cookies. ( You heard me, COOKIES,) If I like you, perhaps even a cup and saucer.

Having thrown off the oppressive yoke of colonialism, here in the free world we live without fear of roaming vans of enforcers. Y’know, like all them British wankers.
  #22  
Old 11-26-2017, 08:47 AM
Filbert Filbert is offline
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How about a few of these?
UHT?!! In TEA??

I'm not in such dire straits as that yet, young man.
  #23  
Old 11-26-2017, 11:00 AM
LSLGuy LSLGuy is offline
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As I took the kettle out of the up-high cabinet ... to have my biannual hot chocolate
...
Bolding mine.

As a Yank I'll defer to the Brits et al about the OP's main question. But I gots ta know: how the heck do kettles and hot chocolate go together?

Hot chocolate comes from milk that's heated to almost scalded in a saucepan, followed by adding the powdered or (better) shredded chocolate. Kettles have no place in this process.

Last edited by LSLGuy; 11-26-2017 at 11:01 AM.
  #24  
Old 11-26-2017, 02:20 PM
glee glee is offline
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I'm 64 and have lived in England all my life.

I don't drink tea. (I do know a lot of my countrymen do.)
I also don't know anyone who has a stove (unless you count an Aga.)

I think the world you are thinking of existed when this series was on!
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Old 11-26-2017, 02:22 PM
chappachula chappachula is offline
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to have my biannual hot chocolate
Am I the only one wondering why you only want hot chocolate twice a year?

Life is short---that's why god made chocolate
  #26  
Old 11-26-2017, 02:33 PM
Yllaria Yllaria is offline
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Reconfigured "Cat Detector" Vans, obviously.
I've heard of CAT scans. What's a cat detector? I assume it's not out finding lost moggies.
  #27  
Old 11-26-2017, 02:42 PM
Leaffan Leaffan is online now
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I've heard of CAT scans. What's a cat detector? I assume it's not out finding lost moggies.
A reference to the Monty Python "Fish Licence" skit.
  #28  
Old 11-26-2017, 02:45 PM
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A kettle on the stove is to British families what chicken soup is to Jewish families.
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  #29  
Old 11-27-2017, 12:23 AM
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Putting non Tide Pods in a Tide container will void the warranty on your washing machine, and maybe provoke a visit from the Maytag Repairman.

I put mine in a candy dish.
  #30  
Old 11-27-2017, 02:36 AM
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Bolding mine.

As a Yank I'll defer to the Brits et al about the OP's main question. But I gots ta know: how the heck do kettles and hot chocolate go together?

Hot chocolate comes from milk that's heated to almost scalded in a saucepan, followed by adding the powdered or (better) shredded chocolate. Kettles have no place in this process.
Amazingly enough and despite the people who make powdered cocoa indicating in the very instructions that you can make it with milk, a lot of Britons use water.

The Scottish-Welsh team was stumped when they came to Bilbao for meetings and the local cafeterias (including the one in the company's HQ) offered hot cocoa in the form of:
* a jar of steam-heated milk,
* a sachet of powdered cocoa,
* an empty cup and saucer,
* and the right to request to get the already-dissolved cocoa-in-milk topped up with room-temperature milk.

At least one of them caused a sensation the next time she had visitors, by making the cocoa with milk.
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Last edited by Nava; 11-27-2017 at 02:37 AM.
  #31  
Old 11-27-2017, 03:26 AM
Filbert Filbert is offline
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Most English people that I know, including myself, make drinking chocolate using mostly boiling water, topped up with some cold milk. It's a lot faster than heating milk on the stove because, well, we all have electric kettles. It's also a lot less rich, so you can drink more of it without feeling like it's too much. Mostly the instructions do say 'add hot milk', except the 'instant' varieties, but everyone ignores them.

If you go to a cafe though, you'd expect it made with hot milk, though when I did cafe work (in both a major UK chain and a small independent cafe) it was pretty common for people to request it made with water or part water instead. I'd be surprised to have it laid out DIY style in a cafe, but I'd also be very surprised and feel a bit cheated if I'd bought one and it was made with hot water. That'd be like ordering a coffee and they get the jar of instant granules out; I might make it at home that way because it's cheap and easy, but I ain't paying someone else to do that.

Personally, I do make hot chocolate at home with milk on occasion, but that's more of a treat for really rotten days, whereas I drink a couple of mugs made with mostly water and just a bit of milk most days.
  #32  
Old 11-27-2017, 03:35 AM
Beckdawrek Beckdawrek is online now
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I use a French press coffee pot, so I always have the kettle sitting on a burner. Not mention having used it for many things in the course of a lifetime. What i really would like is that thing called insta-hot thru a faucet in the sink. Mr.Wrekker vetoed that as maybe a problem waiting to happen. He likes to kill my dreams, sometimes.
  #33  
Old 11-27-2017, 04:56 AM
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Oh, the horror! I remember arriving at the railway station on my commute to work, only to find that the drinks machine (dispenses hot water) wasn't working. Fortunately the ever-resourceful staff had procured a kettle and my pre-train cuppa was safe. Thinking about that day still makes me shudder, the consequences could have been quite catastrophic.
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  #34  
Old 11-27-2017, 08:58 AM
LSLGuy LSLGuy is offline
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I use a French press coffee pot, so I always have the kettle sitting on a burner. Not mention having used it for many things in the course of a lifetime. What i really would like is that thing called insta-hot thru a faucet in the sink. Mr.Wrekker vetoed that as maybe a problem waiting to happen. He likes to kill my dreams, sometimes.
IMO Mr. Wrekker is a clueless Luddite.

I installed my first one back in about 2000. Three residences later I still have one. It's literally the first trip to HD after we move in. The one I installed in 2000 did fail after 4 years; some metal parts rusted through. The later ones lack any rustable parts and last indefinitely. Operating cost is negligible.

You might have to pull more power into an outlet under the sink. But you can probably just hang it off the same outlet the dishwasher uses. Hint: it can't use the switched outlet the disposer uses.

This is the minimal case: https://www.amazon.com/InSinkErator-...dp/B00ZP90S4E/ and this is the deluxe case: https://www.amazon.com/InSinkErator-...dp/B000WACYO8/. Of course they're available in different finishes and fixture shapes; I'm just talking about function.

The difference is the deluxe model has a second lever that dispenses unheated water. I have both sides fed through a filter then I connected the unheated side to an undersink chiller akin to this one: https://www.amazon.com/Franke-CT-200...dp/B00W5B2262/. So I have instant almost-boiling hot water and instant almost-freezing cold water.

The cold side is mostly redundant to the dispenser in the fridge door, and is IMO a mostly-silly extravagance. OTOH, it flows about 3x the speed of the fridge door and I'm an impatient critter. The hot side on the other hand is one of those things like a microwave oven or an ice maker in the freezer, that once you have it you wonder how you got along without it.

Making tea is easy: grab a mug & fill with almost boiling water (we call it "boily water"). Then go get your tea, infuser, lemon, honey, milk, whatever. Once you have all your stuff, dump that water out of the now warmed cup, add all your ingredients then refill with more boily water. It's been about 90 seconds since you thought "I want tea" and now it's fully made and steeping.

I also use it to pre-heat my coffee cups and to quickly heat bowls for serving soup or whatever. It's amazing how much longer hot things stay hot when you don't waste half the heat in your coffee or soup simply warming the container. And that's in a warm climate. When I lived in snow country the difference was astounding.

Trust me when I say this is a <$200 gift to yourself you'll enjoy daily for years.

Last edited by LSLGuy; 11-27-2017 at 09:01 AM.
  #35  
Old 11-27-2017, 09:07 AM
Mangetout Mangetout is offline
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Amazingly enough and despite the people who make powdered cocoa indicating in the very instructions that you can make it with milk, a lot of Britons use water.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Filbert View Post
Most English people that I know, including myself, make drinking chocolate using mostly boiling water, topped up with some cold milk. It's a lot faster than heating milk on the stove because, well, we all have electric kettles. It's also a lot less rich, so you can drink more of it without feeling like it's too much. Mostly the instructions do say 'add hot milk', except the 'instant' varieties, but everyone ignores them.
Wait a moment. Drinking chocolate and cocoa are not the same thing. Cocoa is powdered cocoa solids. Drinking chocolate contains sugar (even the non-'instant' type)
  #36  
Old 11-27-2017, 10:30 AM
gigi gigi is offline
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Originally Posted by LSLGuy View Post
Bolding mine.

As a Yank I'll defer to the Brits et al about the OP's main question. But I gots ta know: how the heck do kettles and hot chocolate go together?

Hot chocolate comes from milk that's heated to almost scalded in a saucepan, followed by adding the powdered or (better) shredded chocolate. Kettles have no place in this process.
Well, I got some of this as a gift, and thought I should add hot water:

https://www.kingarthurflour.com/shop...late-mix-12-oz

However, I did not read the instructions "Add 3 to 4 heaping tablespoons to hot milk, stir, and enjoy." OOPS.

I also have flavored hot chocolate Keurig pods. Abomination?

https://www.candyfavorites.com/junio...hopping%20Feed
  #37  
Old 11-27-2017, 10:37 AM
running coach running coach is online now
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Originally Posted by LSLGuy View Post
Making tea is easy: grab a mug & fill with almost boiling water (we call it "boily water"). Then go get your tea, infuser, lemon, honey, milk, whatever. Once you have all your stuff, dump that water out of the now warmed cup, add all your ingredients then refill with more boily water. It's been about 90 seconds since you thought "I want tea" and now it's fully made and steeping.
Wouldn't it be quicker to put instant tea mix in the boily water?

:flees:
  #38  
Old 11-27-2017, 11:04 AM
LSLGuy LSLGuy is offline
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Of course there's also Mr. Tea. Not quicker, but since "he does-a da rest" it's so much easier.

I tried to find the clip on YouTube but failed. Consider yourself properly Sarducci-ed.
  #39  
Old 11-27-2017, 11:36 AM
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Wait a moment. Drinking chocolate and cocoa are not the same thing. Cocoa is powdered cocoa solids. Drinking chocolate contains sugar (even the non-'instant' type)
The two terms are used interchangeably in my family. I thought that was a pretty widespread thing. So does wikipedia, taking a look. Hot chocolate, also known as drinking chocolate, cocoa...

We'll distinguish between the powders (as cocoa powder can also be used for baking) but not the drinks, as they're basically the same aside from sugar being added at a different stage; cocoa powder can be used to make drinking chocolate, and drinking chocolate powder could be used to make a nice mug of cocoa. Maybe it's a regional thing.
  #40  
Old 11-27-2017, 12:09 PM
LSLGuy LSLGuy is offline
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IME, "cocoa" as a beverage is a fairly thin concoction of sweet milk chocolate and hot milk (or occasionally (shudder) water). Typically served in a coffee mug-sized container.

"Drinking chocolate" is a thick almost gooey concoction of rather dark chocolate, little sugar, and little milk. Typically served in a demitasse-sized container.

IWO, "drinking chocolate" is the espresso to "cocoa"'s ordinary coffee. (or if the cocoa's made with water, instant coffee (shudder again)).

I have no doubt the terms have lots of regional variations and marketing driven segmentation to boot.

Last edited by LSLGuy; 11-27-2017 at 12:10 PM.
  #41  
Old 11-27-2017, 12:21 PM
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IME, "cocoa" as a beverage is a fairly thin concoction of sweet milk chocolate and hot milk (or occasionally (shudder) water).
Can I at least microwave the milk?
  #42  
Old 11-27-2017, 12:55 PM
LSLGuy LSLGuy is offline
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I do the same. It also makes for a nice very speedy cafe au lait first thing in the morning. Like this morning.

Although that also sometimes makes for a less-nice entire-microwave-oven-interior-au-lait. Like Saturday morning.

Last edited by LSLGuy; 11-27-2017 at 12:56 PM.
  #43  
Old 11-27-2017, 01:07 PM
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A reference to the Monty Python "Fish Licence" skit.
La de da and fiddle dee dee, it's Eric the half a tea
  #44  
Old 11-27-2017, 02:14 PM
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Can I at least microwave the milk?
Heathen!
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  #45  
Old 11-27-2017, 02:16 PM
Baron Greenback Baron Greenback is offline
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I see Meghan Markle has passed the Tea-Making (Royal Family Level) exams.
  #46  
Old 11-27-2017, 02:21 PM
Sunspace Sunspace is offline
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I see Meghan Markle has passed the Tea-Making (Royal Family Level) exams.
Yes, she's doing quite well.
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Last edited by Sunspace; 11-27-2017 at 02:22 PM.
  #47  
Old 11-27-2017, 02:59 PM
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Is it true that the EKEA has trucks they drive around with special antennas in them that can detect electric kettles in the flats they pass?
Yes. But they'll let it go as long as the heat signature indicates the resident has left the top off so it "really boils."

Quote:
Originally Posted by LSLGuy View Post
Bolding mine.

As a Yank I'll defer to the Brits et al about the OP's main question. But I gots ta know: how the heck do kettles and hot chocolate go together?
. . .
I learned a few years ago to make it Mayan fashion, and I'll never go back. Cocoa powder with a dizzying array of spices, including hot pepper seeds, goes into boiled water. Then when it's all dissolved and the spices have bloomed, add about a tablespoon of heavy cream. The difference in scent and flavor after the cream is added will knock your socks off. He claimed it is even better with goat's milk, but I haven't tried it. Probably not my cuppa.
  #48  
Old 11-27-2017, 03:44 PM
gigi gigi is offline
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Heathen!
OK, I will get out a saucepan dedicated to hot chocolate prep. I will be ready no matter what Enforcers happen by.
  #49  
Old 11-27-2017, 05:17 PM
TruCelt TruCelt is offline
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I'm 64 and have lived in England all my life.
. . .
I also don't know anyone who has a stove (unless you count an Aga.)
. . .
Nonsense. All ovens are stoves. It's just that not all stoves are ovens. Just like some stoves have a cooktop, but that doesn't make it a range.

A stove is any box made for heating indoors without burning the building down. (Most furnaces technically qualify.)

Sometimes a stove has a cooktop, which is heated by the burning fuel within.

An oven is a box which gets hot and is configured for cooking food. Sometimes a stove has a big enough fuel burning resevoir that there is room to also bake inside of it, so that stove is also an oven.

A range has a separate, dedicated heat source for the cooktop, it is not heated by the stove within.

An AGA is a stove with a cooktop, and also an oven, but it is not properly a range.

Hope that helps.

d&r

Last edited by TruCelt; 11-27-2017 at 05:17 PM.
  #50  
Old 11-27-2017, 06:30 PM
Mangetout Mangetout is offline
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Join Date: May 2001
Location: England
Posts: 56,728
Quote:
Originally Posted by Filbert View Post
The two terms are used interchangeably in my family.
I have reported you to the Beverage Council. Please stay where you are until the inspector arrives. (They said it may take up to two weeks to process my complaint).
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