No, I don't want to hear W fart

labradorian · #1 10-17-2001, 02:00 PM

CNN, Newsworld, and the whole bloody lot of you:

Yes, we as a world have been through a rough patch lately. Yes, we wanted some soothing happy-talk from political leaders, if for nothing else as a break from the same old talking heads on your channels.

But for the love of god, not EVERYTHING that George W. Bush says or does is newsworthy. And almost NOTHING is worth cutting away live for.

No, I do not want to hear W address the Kindergarten graduation class in Mudflaps, Indiana, live.

No, I do not want to hear W present Meritorious Procrastination medals to Department of Redundancy employees in Middle Wichita, Kansas, live.

I do not want regular programming interrupted every time W talks, coughs, burps, scratches or farts. If it's newsworthy, tell me at the top of the hour, mkay?

tevya · #2 10-17-2001, 02:11 PM

This just in: United States President George W. Bush is feeling a little gassy today. We have mic'ed his ass and will interrupt scheduled broadcasting in the event of further developments. Now to Connie Chung for a discussion of what this means for our country in this time of crisis.

pezpunk · #3 10-17-2001, 02:12 PM

I agree HOWEVER a lot of people do want to know what he is doing. Just watch, if the news stops covering President Bush making soup for the poor and goes back to regular programming someone will be in the pit yelling "WHERE IS PRESIDENT BUSH".

Ya just can't win.

Abe Babe · #4 10-17-2001, 02:52 PM

I don't want to hear him fart as much as I want to see V.P. Cheney and Sec. of State Powell in the back ground unsuccessfully trying not to giggle.

kniz · #5 10-17-2001, 03:26 PM

What I want to know is "Where is Cheney?" My wife thinks that as Fred Samford would say "He had the big one", but my theory is that he still thinks the White House is targeted.

vanilla · #6 10-18-2001, 08:19 AM

Come on!
People would pay good money to hear our president fart!

Too much CNN?
try cartoon channel.

Typo Negative · #7 10-18-2001, 08:32 AM

I'd like to see the reaction from those drones who always stand behind him when he makes a speech.

lieu · #8 10-18-2001, 08:46 AM

Word has it that he quit farting about 10 years ago and hasn't cut one since. Just went cold sphincter.

Apparently though his daughter, Jenna, has a real problem with indulging in flattulance. They're afraid they might need to check her into an oxygen bar.