The Straight Dope

Go Back   Straight Dope Message Board > Main > The BBQ Pit

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #51  
Old 11-19-2001, 02:10 PM
Chef Troy Chef Troy is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Why has no one suggested prayer WRT the missing Purple Passion Penis? I suggest the 23rd Psalm... considering it contains the immortal phrase, ...thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me... it seems appropriate.

It's important to remember, however, that force will not be effective in returning the PPP to its rightful place in the nightmares of Boulder's literate children. As the saying almost goes, the penis mightier than the sword.
Reply With Quote
Advertisements  
  #52  
Old 11-19-2001, 02:16 PM
Cat Whisperer Cat Whisperer is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Calgary, AB.
Posts: 47,836
Re: I live in Boulder...

Quote:
Originally posted by ModernRonin2
<snip>
People who have lived in Boulder for a while eventually pick up this saying: "Only in Boulder." For instance:
<snip>
- Only in Boulder... Do we have enough little plows to plow the bike paths in winter but not enough for the regular roads.
<snip>
-Ben
Sorry to burst your bubble, but this one is not true, because Calgary has the same problem. In a vast, sprawling city of ~850 000 people (and I do mean vast; Calgary is known for being a very spread out city), we have 3 snow plows (IIRC). We had a really snowy winter a couple of years ago, and people in the suburbs literally could not get into or out of their neighbourhoods for weeks at a time. But somehow, the bike paths are always clear.
__________________
"Your guilty consciences may make you vote Democratic, but secretly you all yearn for a Republican president to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king!"
- S. Bob
Reply With Quote
  #53  
Old 11-20-2001, 09:03 AM
Fenris Fenris is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2000
Just when you think it can't get any weirder...

Another piece of "art" has been swiped (or, mutter the conspiracy theorists...hidden by the library)!!!!

A female torso roughly molded out of red clay (and apparently anatomically correct), is missing!

The statue, which I've dubbed Torso Van Moreso* has vanished. It, along with Purple Passion Penis, are the two exhibits missing from the porn-shop atmosphere of the Boulder County Library. (Some of the other "exhibits" designed to "raise awareness" of domestic violence, in addition to the severed penises and Torso Van Moreso include prettily decorated chain-mail and velvet chastity belts, and an "erotic" nude painting of a woman (the person who described it used the word "erotic" in a positive sense).

The Penis Artiste has claimed that she has had her First Ammendment Rights violated by El Penis Bandito, apparently not realizing that only a governmental agency can violate the First Ammendment. Apparently she's as wise as she is talented.

Four theories abound regarding the missing Torso Van Moreso
[li]That a copycat criminal kidnapped her
[li]That a pervert kidnapped her for carnal purposes!
[li]That the library staff swiped and hid her, to make El Penis Bandito look bad (the conspiracy theory)
[li]That she's been having a torrid affair of PASSION with the Purple Penis and they've run off together.[/list]
More reports from the front of this steamy controversy as new events occur!

Fenris

*Name unapologetically swiped (and marginally modified) from "Angel and the Ape" by Howie Chaykin
Reply With Quote
  #54  
Old 11-21-2001, 02:14 AM
Shyabrick Shyabrick is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Did the cops have to send a "special insertion" team to retrieve the stolen display?
Reply With Quote
  #55  
Old 11-21-2001, 03:08 AM
december december is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 7,493
From Elizabeth Mattern of the Daily Camera in Boulder, Co, as picked up by Scripps-Howard News Service
Quote:
The phallic artwork has since been stolen, then recovered by police and will not be re-hung in the library.
(As pointed on at http://www.andrewsullivan.com/ )
Reply With Quote
  #56  
Old 11-24-2001, 01:46 AM
ņaņi ņaņi is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!!

I haven't laughed this hard since Sept. 10 - my Birthday. This is without a doubt the funniest thread i have ever seen. keep me posted on every new development on this great Penis caper, Fenris!



Looking at all those penises... Loretta Bobitt musta cum to town...
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:21 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@chicagoreader.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Publishers - interested in subscribing to the Straight Dope?
Write to: sdsubscriptions@chicagoreader.com.

Copyright Š 2013 Sun-Times Media, LLC.