Enough With The POTA DVD Ads!!!

[Tuckerfan]

Fer Chrissake's people, I saw Planet of the Apes in the theater, and while it wasn't the most indescribably bad piece of shit to come out of Hollywood, it was definately a runner up. Now you're bombarding me on TV with ads saying that its "The Must Have DVD of the Year" or something similar and it looks like its a 2-disc set. Unless that second DVD consists of Tim Burton and the other shitheads who produced that piece of drek profusely apologizing and promising never to make a sequel while being raped by guys in monkey suits, I don't want to see it! When will you fuckwads in Hollywood realize that it doesn't matter how heavily you promote a piece of shit, people aren't going to buy it? We've seen the movie, we know it sucks (second weekend ticket sales dropped off by something like 60%), and we're not going to buy it! The best thing you can do is bury the film canisters and fire anyone who had anything to do with that movie.

[Bossk]

Originally posted by Tuckerfan

When will you fuckwads in Hollywood realize that it doesn't matter how heavily you promote a piece of shit, people aren't going to buy it?

I wish this were true, but it seems there ARE people out there buying the x10 camera.

[Tuckerfan]

I wish this were true, but it seems there ARE people out there buying the x10 camera.

Really? I thought they went out of business or were headed that way. I've not been bothered by their pop-ups in months. (Then again, maybe that's because I disabled Javascripts in my browser. )

[Freyr]

Tuckerfan wrote:

Now you're bombarding me on TV with ads saying that its "The Must Have DVD of the Year" or something similar and it looks like its a 2-disc set.

Yeah, the movied sucked. It went down faster than the Hindenberg. They gotta re-coup their losses somehow! Give 'em a break! Preferably an arm or leg, we shouldn't be too violent.

[SPOOFE]

I heard that the POTA DVD erased the ending, and inserted spastic, flashing colored screens, dancing llamas, and Mexican party music... according to the reviews, it makes a lot more sense that way.

[Revtim]

Originally posted by Tuckerfan
When will you fuckwads in Hollywood realize that it doesn't matter how heavily you promote a piece of shit, people aren't going to buy it?

Not even close to being true, unfortunately. Why do you think they throw millions into ads, for a tax write-off?

[Tuckerfan]

Not even close to being true, unfortunately. Why do you think they throw millions into ads, for a tax write-off?

Because if they're dumb enough to produce a movie as shitty as POTA, they're dumb enough to think that advertising the shit out of it will actually make someone want to buy it.

[Bob Scene]

Bad news. I heard that al Qaeda, as their next big blow against the U.S., is financing a sequel.

[Daikona]

Originally posted by SPOOFE
I heard that the POTA DVD erased the ending, and inserted spastic, flashing colored screens, dancing llamas, and Mexican party music... according to the reviews, it makes a lot more sense that way.

That's beautiful. ~_^

[SPOOFE]

Because if they're dumb enough to produce a movie as shitty as POTA, they're dumb enough to think that advertising the shit out of it will actually make someone want to buy it.

But you're forgetting that there are even more consumers dumb enough to believe the hype. Remember, people even went to see Battlefield Earth.

[hawthorne]

Originally posted by SPOOFE
I heard that the POTA DVD erased the ending, and inserted spastic, flashing colored screens, dancing llamas, and Mexican party music... according to the reviews, it makes a lot more sense that way.

That's really going to undercut the feature-length version ofThe Prisoner.

[Stoid]

[hijack]

[quote]Originally posted by SPOOFE

Remember, people even went to see Battlefield Earth.

I didn't go see it in the theatre, but having read and enjoyed the book years ago, and being truly amused by how unrelentingly vicious the reviews were (worst reviewed movie in recent memory, possibly ever, just brutal), I hadda rent it. I guess I was hoping for something like that "Showgirls" camp... instead I just stopped watching it about 30 minutes in and took a shower. POTA looks like "The Godfather" next to it.

That movie pointed up a truth about John Travolta: he's really not a very talented actor. There are certain things he can pull off, and do so with a certain amount of charisma. But if he ventures outside that narrow band of performance, he can be not just bad, but painfully , embarassingly bad.

stoid
[/hijack]

[Tuckerfan]

stoid, that's about how long I made it through that piece of shit.

Things are getting worse, I'm afraid. Thanks to the renewed sense of patriotism America's been feeling of late, they're now busy at work on:







(wait for it)


















Rambo IV!!!! (Ugh, now I'm going to be sick!)

[rjung]

Originally posted by Tuckerfan
When will you fuckwads in Hollywood realize that it doesn't matter how heavily you promote a piece of shit, people aren't going to buy it?

If this were true, Microsoft would have been out of business fifteen years ago.

[Fledermaus]

That's really going to undercut the feature-length version of The Prisoner.

Rolling...on...the...floor...holding...sides...and...gasping...for...breath...


I couldn't let that line go by without comment. Hawthorne, that rocks.

[Winnowill]

Originally posted by SPOOFE

But you're forgetting that there are even more consumers dumb enough to believe the hype. Remember, people even went to see Battlefield Earth.

Worse. There do exist people who liked it so much they BOUGHT it so they could sit through multiple viewings. So how can a POTA DVD fail?

(BTW, I haven't seen either movie, and don't intend to.)

[Sofa King]

...profusely apologizing and promising never to make a sequel while being raped by guys in monkey suits....

I'm not sure that Charlton Heston is "up" for that kind of work anymore.

[jane_says]

I hate to be the lone dissenter here, but I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles sometimes. I went to see POTA at the theater. That's saying a lot for me: the last movie I saw at the theater before POTA was The Grinch (I have two preschoolers). I watch a lot of movies, but almost always on PPV or DVD/VHS.

Here's the thing - I didn't think it was that bad. It wasn't what I expected, and it couldn't have been more far removed from the originals, but it wasn't terrible. It was most certainly watchable and it held my interest for a couple of hours. I didn't notice anyone leaving the theater before the lights came up and I didn't hear anyone demanding a refund on my way out, either.

I'll prolly buy the DVD, too.

[The Ryan]

profusely apologizing and promising never to make a sequel while being raped by guys in monkey suits,

So if they make the sequel while not being raped by guys in monkey suits, would that be okay?

[SPOOFE]

Here's the thing - I didn't think it was that bad.

Me neither... except for the ending. Maybe Burton was in the can during the filming of that scene. Monkey cops?

[Fledermaus]

SPOOFE, I'm with you--I liked the movie up until the ending, which felt like it was tacked on simply because, well, it's a Planet of the Apes movie, and we need that "twist" at the end, and "Oh my god! It was earth all along!" was already taken.

[kabbes]

Not bad? I actually enjoyed POTA. I thought it was romping good fun. I got the impression from the discussions on the message boards after seeing it that lots of others felt that way also.

Now OK, the ending was a touch wacky. But it beats a lot of reeaaaly sucky Hollywood endings where everybody lives happilyeverafteramen. God - it wasn't Volcano ladies and gentlemen. At least it had a bit of character.

There must have been a hundred movies this year alone that were worse than POTA. Go rag on them.

pan