Not a post-count party

[Crunchy Frog]

I promise this is not a post-count party.

This is just me sharing something mundane and pointless because it's Sunday and I'm at work, and we were struck by lightning, so internal stuff is out. (This means I can't do any work locally, but I can still surf the net all day) So since I'm at work, but can't do any work, I just felt like sharing.

I've finally reached over 1000 posts.

That's all. I am asking for no fanfare, no special treatment, no big huge extravagant party. Just sharing something trivial and basically meaningless. Thank you for reading.

You may go about your business now, sorry to take up your time.

[Jack Batty]

Listen not to the nay-sayers.
I love post count parties. At first I thought they were a pretty lame way of self agrandizing. Then I hit my 100th post, and boy did I feel mighty proud of myself.
No matter how anybody rants about it, post count seems a pretty integral part of this board. If it wasn't why would they diplay post counts for all to see.
Screw 'em. Throw a party, act like a wild-man, let the mead flow. I'll expect the same treatment when I hit 300 in a few days.
happy 1000th.

[aha]

This is not a congratulation for your 1000th post so don't worry.

Hey lightning? That means rain. Where the hell you at?

Here in Oklahoma it's hotter than a whore's ass on dollar night. No measurable rain in 3-4 weeks.

Shit.

[Crunchy Frog]

Thanks Jack,
but I was just pointing it out, no biggie, really.

I would also like to point out that since I hit 100 posts a while back, I let all the other little milestones pass quietly. 200-900 post count parties were not to be. I didn't mention it. But a 1000, I don't know, that just seemed like something to mention.

I want to make it clear, it's not that I'm starting a party or anything, cuz I know people don't like that.

So I'm am NOT tapping a keg right now and passing out cups for any special reason, I just happen to have 7 kegs that need to be emptied. Those scantily clad women over there are NOT exotic dancers waiting for me to turn on the music. The decoration in here is NOT for a party, I'm, uh, let's see . . . I just like streamers and banners and balloons, yeah that's it.

So feel free to come in and hang out with me if you want, but we are NOT celebrating anything specifically, I just want to make that clear -- this is NOT a post count party.

_{psst . . . anyone have any Everclear? I wanna make some jungle juice.}

[Jack Batty]

I'd help myself to some cake but aha's "Whore's ass on dollar night" quip has caused me to loose my appetite. Jesus, you paint a pretty nasty picty\ure, there, don't ya.

[Crunchy Frog]

Originally posted by aha
Hey lightning? That means rain. Where the hell you at?

Here in Oklahoma it's hotter than a whore's ass on dollar night. No measurable rain in 3-4 weeks.

I'm in St Louis. If I could, I'd send you some of the crap we got falling from the sky around here. In the meantime, have a beer on me. For no special reason, you understand, this is NOT a party or anything. Just hanging out at a time that coincidentally falls along the same time as my 1000th post.

[Scotticher]

Congratulations on your un-1000postparty!

Hope you have fun un-partying.


Scotti

[Crunchy Frog]

Thanks, Scotti, would care to not have a beer with me? Feel free to not help yourself to one of the 7 kegs that aren't over there. And if you wouldn't like it, go ahead and not ask for a lap dance from one of the women I haven't hired as entertainment.

[2nd Law]

handing Bratman a bottle of Everclear.

Ever notice the "caution:Flammable" label on this stuff? best put out your smoke before you start playing with it.

hand me an un-beer and let's not see some of those un-dancing girls!

[Crunchy Frog]

Thanks for not bringing Everclear. I really need this for the Jungle Juice I'm not making. As I said earlier, I don't have 7 kegs tapped and ready over there, so you can't help yourself to as much as you don't want.
The women that aren't here would love to not dance for you to the Red Hot Chili Peppers CD I'm not playing right now. If you want one to not dance for you, just don't get their attention.

[ultress]

I didn't feel like attending a post party today anyway. But congrats on the 1000 mark. It took me forever to get there. I'll have a beer out of one of the kegs that you need to empty.

Aha, wish you had some of the rain we got, three weeks of rain every day. But no complaints here, for the past few summers we've had droughts too.

Can't be too much I can mess up in here....

[casdave]

Just as well that I decided to ensure those barrels were not full as we would not want anyone to get the wrong idea fortunately there seems to have been an error as the brewery you didn't call delivered kegs that were not empty but this can be remedied.

In the meantime try some of these vol-au-vents that I did not make which were not left by me on the tables that are not in the corner of the room.

(this is strangely Catch22 )

[Crunchy Frog]

I'm sorry Ultress, I seem to have misworded my previous posts.

As you can see, this [i]isn't[/t] a party.
The proper wording of how my posts should have looked starts right after Scotti's post.

There aren't 7 kegs that need emptying, there are no scantily clad exotic dancers who are currently not dancing to the Chili Peppers CD I'm not playing on the stereo that isn't here. I am not making Jungle Juice with the bottle of Everclear that 2nd Law didn't give me.

I hope that clears up how everything should have been worded by me from the start, since this is not my post count party and all.

[Crunchy Frog]

*muttering to self*
Damn typos in the stupid brackets, screwing up the whole f***ing post . . . too f***ing stupid to preview the damn thing . . .

This is how it should've looked:

I'm sorry Ultress, I seem to have misworded my previous posts.

As you can see, this isn't a party.
The proper wording of how my posts should have looked starts right after Scotti's post.

There aren't 7 kegs that need emptying, there are no scantily clad exotic dancers who are currently not dancing to the Chili Peppers CD I'm not playing on the stereo that isn't here. I am not making Jungle Juice with the bottle of Everclear that 2nd Law didn't give me.

I hope that clears up how everything should have been worded by me from the start, since this is not my post count party and all. [/b][/quote]

[2nd Law]

.... just like this isn't my 200th post party, eh?

Now, what do I have to not do to not get a non-lap non-dance over there (or is that over here)?

And where isn't the tequila?

[Crunchy Frog]

2nd Law - the tequila and other assorted hard liquor (JD, Baccardi, Absolut, etc) that I don't have is not located just behind the wet bar that isn't in the corner. It's all paid for, so just don't ask the bartender who isn't over there for whatever it is you don't want to drink. If you would like one of the women who aren't here to not dance for you, just don't get their attention and they won't be right over to you.

BTW, I would congratulate you on 200 posts, but then this may start to seem like a party.

[Crunchy Frog]

Originally posted by casdave
In the meantime try some of these vol-au-vents that I did not make which were not left by me on the tables that are not in the corner of the room.

(this is strangely Catch22 )

At the risk of sound ignorant, vol-au-what? I've never heard of that before. And this is Catch22-ish? Saw the movie, never read the book. I'm not stealing this from a Monty Python sketch I've never heard on my Instant Monty Python CD Collection

[Jack Batty]

Okay, okay, so I was a little slow on the up-take.

(I still say screw 'em - party, but I'll make nice)




What is this party for anyway, I don't get it. What's a post? Can I not have a beer that doesn't exist form one of those lap-dancers that aren't here anyway?

:: sitting in the corner, shutting up ::

[Crunchy Frog]

*handing Jack a cup filled with whatever is not in those kegs over there*

Here you go, have all of the beer you don't want. Get smashed if you don't feel like it. If you don't like the music that's not playing, you can change it if you don't want to.

*answering the door*

Hey, everyone, the pizza I didn't order just arrived!

[Silver Fire]

I am not here to dance and I don't want to take my clothes off.

[Crunchy Frog]

Hey, good to have you, Silver_Fire!

Feel free to not do either of those things. And where aren't all the women? We need women if we're not going to throw a proper party. Ultress showed up, but she didn't bring friends.

I'm sure you won't be able to find all the drinks that aren't available.

[aha]

Brat:
Ok thanks for the beer. I am going to drink it but not in a celebratory fashion. Then if you don't mind would you see if you could locate some chea...err mm cold champagne?

ultress:

Aha, wish you had some of the rain we got, three weeks of rain every day. But no complaints here, for the past few summers we've had droughts too.

Thanks ultress...

[Gunslinger]

Hey, can somebody please not hand me a beer? I think this is getting close to not being my 300th post, but I never look at the number, so I'm not sure.

[ultress]

Anything for my best friend, aha. I'm not gonna smooch and hug on you since I'm not partying. And I'm not gonna get slobbering drunk and dance on the table.

[Crunchy Frog]

Hey ultress . . .

I don't have $50 here for you to not get undressed and dance for us. (I know you never mentioned getting undressed, but there's only $30 not in it for you if you just not dance.)

[aha]

Anything for my best friend, aha. I'm not gonna smooch and hug on you since I'm not partying. And I'm not gonna get slobbering drunk and dance on the table.

and I am not gonna enjoy the hell out of it ultress...I have to be careful tho... because I have been accused in another thread of kissing your ass.

My answer to that was "Mark the spot."

[ultress]

Brat, the $30 that you don't have won't get me dance, but getting undressed is not worth $500 that you don't have so I'll stay dressed (am I getting confused or what?)

[Chronos]

Chronos neglects to stop in, and doesn't kick back with a can of un-Pepsi, and doesn't snap his fingers for one of the non-scantily clad women who doesn't exist to stay where she is and not give him a personal show.

By the way, Bratman, not that I'm asking, but does this whole unParty thing fail to work when the cops don't show up? And is going to neglect to strip for us, or not?

[Scotticher]

Originally posted by BratMan007
Go ahead and not ask for a lap dance from one of the women I haven't hired as entertainment.

Pssst Bratman-

I am a woman, so lap-dancing women hold no interest for me. But, thanks for the offer!

Hope things are not moving along the way you don't want them to!

Scotti

[purrplebear]

<wandering by, purplebear just happens to hear some faint sounds of people not talking and not music being played, so she opens the door and steps inside, not wearing her purple bikini and open white lace shirt>

<walking up to BratMan as he's not drinking something from a not empty keg, she doesn't grab him and pull him down for a deep kiss of congratulation>

<clearing her throat after that wow! non-kiss, she says> I am not thirsty though, is there some of that non-Bacardi and coke not available?


Ok, now I'm getting confused here. I hope that came out right......errr..... didn't come out right...err...

Never mind.

[Crunchy Frog]

Originally posted by Scotticher
I am a woman, so lap-dancing women hold no interest for me. But, thanks for the offer!

Um, sorry. I feel so stupid now. Do you think we can ask the mods to put like the little symbols next to the user names to denote male or female to avoid just this sort of thing from happening?

I would also reply to Chronos's post, but quite frankly, it confused the hell out of me.

[Crunchy Frog]

Originally posted by purplebear
<walking up to BratMan as he's not drinking something from a not empty keg, she doesn't grab him and pull him down for a deep kiss of congratulation>

I believe the proper response here would be from the wise and wonderful Jackie Gleason: homina homina homina

Nice to have you here, PB. You can help yourself to anything that's not here. It's all free. And when your finished not having your drink, I'll gladly escort you to the hot tub that isn't in the backroom.

[purrplebear]

There's not a hot tub in the back room? I'm so not there. Lead the way, please, my dear.

And, I am also a bit confused by Chrono's post. Is who going to not strip for whom?

[2nd Law]

<not gesturing to Silver Fire because I don't want her to not give me a lap dance>

I don't think this isn't getting unconfusing.... I must not need another un-beer!

[Crunchy Frog]

Originally posted by purplebear
There's not a hot tub in the back room? I'm so not there. Lead the way, please, my dear.

OK, I'll not be taking PB to the back room where there isn't a hot tub. Everyone be sure not to entertain yourselves until I don't come back. I want to make sure everyone's not having fun, since this isn't a party after all!

[Anniz]

Since this is a no party celebration,
I'm not here and I don't want a beer
and I'm not saying congratulations,
well, not in English, but I say it in
Swedish, is that okey?
Gratulerar!

[Crunchy Frog]

Oh, hey a Swedish chick!

Would you care to not join purplebear and myself in the backroom? If sure you won't be able to find the hot tub that isn't there if you don't look hard enough.

[Anniz]

Since it's not there, I'll not join you.
I always behave or is it not behave????
I'm starting to get confuse here....
and I don't even had a beer, yet,
or did I....

[Crunchy Frog]

Anniz -
I've been confused for the past 30 posts. I find the only thing to make my brain stop hurting is to shut it off and go with the feeling.

I'm sure purplebear doesn't mind if you don't join us. And if you don't want a beer, they're right over there where the kegs aren't. Or maybe you'd prefer to not have a mixed drink from the bar?

[Catrandom]

Well, I won't be stopping by to get a beer because I don't want to celebrate 1,000 posts, either. Wow! None of the men around here can really move when they haven't had a few drinks! I didn't think anybody didn't do the Hustle anymore!

Catrandom

[Crunchy Frog]

Catrandom!

I see you have 1,000 posts today too! I'm honored you decided to not come by and refuse to share this news with us. Don't have a beer or a mixed drink from the wet bar that isn't over there. Be sure not to mingle with everyone here. Help yourself to the free pizza I never ordered and remember to not celebrate a damn thing.

[purrplebear]

I'm not having any fun at all here, so worry. I reckon it's okay with me. And, if you're going to bring along other women to the hot tub that's not in the back room, maybe there are some other men who don't want to come along as well.

<now that I'm really getting confused>

This is the most non-fun I've had in a while. Thanks, Bratster!


Hello, Anniz, nice to not meet you.

I know just what you mean, CatRandom. I'd whistle if I didn't know how. Or something to that effect. And, I won't congratulate you on your 1000th post, either. Nope, not me.

[Catrandom]

Awww What a sweet welcome to a party that isn't going on. I'm not going to wander out to the pool or try to find someone who knows how to make a Blue Moon. And of course, I don't offer my congratulations to BratMan.

Catrandom

[Crunchy Frog]

Originally posted by purplebear
And, if you're going to bring along other women to the hot tub that's not in the back room, maybe there are some other men who don't want to come along as well.

First, I would like to state that I technically haven't invited anyone anywhere. And secondly, I never said that nobody else couldn't come to the hot tub that isn't in the back room if they didn't want to.

OWWWW! Damn, that made my brain hurt! I think I just sprained my frontal lobe.

I really shouldn't type stuff like that after not drinking so many beers.

[Falcon]

*sticks head in*

So, I wasn't cruising around the board today, and therefore didn't find the nonparty.....

So I thought that maybe I wouldn't wander on in and not strip down to a swimsuit, and then not get into the hottub. And then NOT invite some more guys to join us. Nope, wouldn't do that.

(Ow. My head hurts.)

[Anniz]

Hej purplebear!
Nice to not meet you too.
So, can I have no beer please,
I feel for not being drunk.

[eyor]

woohoo! I have reached 10 posts. new record.

[annalamerino]

What's a round number without a party?

[Crunchy Frog]

Originally posted by eyor
woohoo! I have reached 10 posts. new record.

Not to nitpick (ok, so that's exactly what Im doing) but that "woohoo" of yours sounded an awful lot like a celebratory (is that a word?) comment. I just want to remind everyone that there is to be no party here whatsoever. That said: Nice to have you eyor, please stick around and not have a beer. Or if you'd prefer, you can not take a swim in the pool that isn't in the back yard or join PB and Anniz and myself in the back room where we are not in the hot tub. Hands off PB though if you decide not to join us back here. I've got dibs (as long as Mr Bear doesn't mind - must never forget there is a Mr Bear. Anyone named "Bear" can probably kick my ass.)

[purrplebear]

<Giggles> Oops! Sorry, no levity allowed, right? Why, I am so not flattered by your unattention to me, Bratster. Or is it inattention? <NOW my head hurts!>

And, yes, Mr Bear is quite capable of inflicting bodily harm on anyone who harms me in any way, but I think you're safe from that. You've always been nothing but nice to me.

Hello, eyor, nice to not meet you.