Kick my dog, I will beat you senseless. -or- Lumpy is out of my house.

[Tripler]

Breaking News: Tripler's folks kick his sister's boyfriend out of the house!

Lemme give you a little background info on "Lumpy". My sister has been dating this moron for the past four years or so. He lives with his stepmom sometimes, and mooches for awhile, then moves to his father to repeat the process. He is barely a high school graduate with no future, and can't seem to keep a job. Basically, he's an overweight lump on two feet, which is why we call him "Lumpy".

It seems said jackass had moved himself into my folks house. Ya know, eating the food, using the phone to all hours of the night. Welp, one night, he decides to kick my dog . . . You don't kick Tripler's dog.

Momma Trip gives him a nasty look and says to Lumpy "That was totally innapropriate." The Lumpmeister replies, "I didn't kick her that hard . . ." Momma Trip counters, "I don't care. That was totally inappropriate. I think you should leave. . ."

So, he sulks off to my sisters room, and Momma Trip tells Sista Trip to get Lumpy out of the house. Momma Trip has had enough of this welfare hotel crap. Two cheers for Momma Trip.

Seems the folks are now changing the locks and alarm codes so Lumpy is denied access to the house. Apparently, he's got a key to the old house locks from the spare key board. So, this will change.

Tripler has also issued a verbal order - Use of force authorized.

You don't kick Tripler's dog. . .



Tripler
I'm so damn happy!!

[deb2world]

tripler, your house sounds like mine, the dog (and in my house cat also) rules.

But it sounds like the best thing for your sister to get this bozo out of her life. Hip Hip Horray to you and Momma Tripler, a job well done.

[Guinastasia]

Oh good gravy! If ANYONE kicked one of my cats or my dog, they'd be in some SERIOUS deeeeep huuuuuurrrting.

[Eo Echo]

Good for you Tripler. I once had to pummel the almighty shit out of some dick who kicked my dog Piper (RIP, buddy).

[inor]

just so.

[matt_mcl]

If a trick, boyfriend, husband, or family member, I don't care, ever kicked my cat or my roommate's cat, they'd exit swiftly out the nearest aperture, door, window, or air vent. You don't beat up on the kitties.

[Jalapeno_On_A_Stick]

My mother, god bless her, was kind enough to let me and my 2 pit bulls stay with her when I first moved back to this god-awful-poor-excuse-for-a-state (don't ask) until I could find a house. God bless her!

One day as I was going out I told her "If they give you any trouble, just smack 'em or kick 'em or something". Her response? "Yeah right". In retrospect I suppose it isn't a good idea for an old woman (or anyone perhaps?) to kick two 80 lb. pit bulls. Funny, anytime I've suggested that to someone they responded to me as if I was crazy. No, I don't kick or in anyway mistreat my dogs. Spoil them beyond all belief? Guilty! How many dogs do you know with a king size and air conditioning?

But hey, if you're feeling like Bruce Lee, give 'em a kick... I'm curious to see what would happen... So send that dirtbag on over. He can stay with me for a few days. Although, he may never be seen again in one piece.

:-p

[SPOOFE]

The only time when it's appropriate to kick a dog is when it starts humping your leg. But then the dog just sees you as "playing hard to get".

[Vince the Intangible]

But then the dog just sees you as "playing hard to get".

But that sure's hell beats out being seen as "ready and willing", or "fire hydrant", for that matter.

[SPOOFE]

Vince...... I like you.

[Vince the Intangible]

Urmmm... I like you too Diddler, but... get off my leg.

[Lynn Bodoni]

Tripler, tell Sissy that she needs to dump Lumpy, NOW. Anyone who would kick a dog might decide that it's all right to kick or hit his girlfriend. She deserves better than Lumpy.

[Vince the Intangible]

Yeah, a lumpy dump would be good for her right now.

[Jalapeno_On_A_Stick]

Uh, I guess I should have added "bed" after "king size(d)".

<pokes his eye out with a ball point pen>

[Tripler]

Originally posted by Lynn Bodoni
Tripler, tell Sissy that she needs to dump Lumpy, NOW. Anyone who would kick a dog might decide that it's all right to kick or hit his girlfriend. She deserves better than Lumpy.

She can do better! She just doesn't feel like going out to find better. She said, "I'll find someone somewhere along the line . . ." Problem is, the more overtly I deny Lumpy his "mooching pleasures" the more Sister Trip runs to him. She's a charity worker-type, I think. So the more I/we (Clan Tripler) are reppellant of him, the more she runs to him. I think it's that bad boy image. We'll see just how bad of a boy he is with my boot up his ass. . .





Spoofe,, Vince get off the couch. Bad boys. Wanna go outside? C'mon, I'll put you in your pen . . .


Tripler

[BunnyGirl]

This is a great thing.

You can tell how a person will treat people by the way he treats animals. Any man that loves a cat (dogs will do) is okay in my book!

[Captain Amazing]

I always used to trip over my dog...I don't know if that counts. She would tend to sleep either at the top of the stairs, or in the enterance to the hallway. I'd be walking along, then *bump*, and she'd give me that look that said "You just ran into me", at which point, I'd give the look that said, "It's your fault, stupid, for lying in the middle of the hallway", and she'd give me a look that said "Well, I'm going back to sleep now...please don't run into me again." But, it was never a deliberate decision...good for your mom, Trip.

[Guinastasia]

I've been known to kick a cat off my feet in the middle of the night, but I don't think that counts, since I'm not really kicking them, just kicking my legs around so the cat will move! Why is it the cat that weighs the most is the one who wants to lay on my feet?

[dewt]

If someone kicked my dog... well, I'm not sure the dog would even notice.... but hang on a sec, that's not the point. The point is, I too, would be violently upset and would, as mentioned above, be moving the hapless offender towards the nearest aperture. Defenestration indeed.

[Captain Amazing]

Originally posted by dewt
.... be moving the hapless offender towards the nearest aperture. Defenestration indeed.

Lumpy's lucky he got the window. "Face, meet wall."

[Cartooniverse]

Originally posted by BunnyGirl
This is a great thing.

You can tell how a person will treat people by the way he treats animals. Any man that loves a cat (dogs will do) is okay in my book!

<--sitting down primly next to Bunnygirl. Hands folded in lap. I've got four cats, and I adore them all.

Cartooniverse

[dewt]

Originally posted by Captain Amazing
Lumpy's lucky he got the window. "Face, meet wall."

Well, sure, but a window is cheaper to replace. And the tinkle of broken glass and subsequent dwindling scream are sooooo much more satisfying than an screamless crunch. Plus, what if you miss the joists and put his head through mere gyproc? That would be such an anticlimax. You'd have to do it again and again till you got it right and onlooks would merely shake their heads and mumble, "shoulda used the window."

[OrcaChow]

Originally posted by SPOOFE Bo Diddly
The only time when it's appropriate to kick a dog is when it starts humping your leg. But then the dog just sees you as "playing hard to get".

At one job a long, long time ago, I was talking to a fairly powerful client of the business, when her dog started peeing on my leg. The first clue was that the woman was grinning. She thought it was cute and wasn't about to stop the dog, so I wound up and kicked for the dog's balls. Punted it in the belly instead. The owner didn't say much, though she was unhappy that I kicked her dog. She was lucky I wasn't wearing my carpenter's belt. A clawhammer at ten yards would've cured the little bastard's incontinence problem but good.

[OrcaChow]

Oh, and congratulations on freedom from Lumpy, Tripler. Too bad it took kicking your dog to get the jerk out.

[Tripler]

Originally posted by OrcaChow
Oh, and congratulations on freedom from Lumpy, Tripler. Too bad it took kicking your dog to get the jerk out.

Much obliged. I'm just upset I wasn't at home when it happened. It would've been satisfying to see what a shit lined human skull would've done to a sliding glass door. . .

Trip

[LindyHopper]

Originally posted by dewt

Well, sure, but a window is cheaper to replace. And the tinkle of broken glass and subsequent dwindling scream are sooooo much more satisfying than an screamless crunch. Plus, what if you miss the joists and put his head through mere gyproc? That would be such an anticlimax. You'd have to do it again and again till you got it right and onlooks would merely shake their heads and mumble, "shoulda used the window."

Well, yeah, but I keep picturing a sort of Al Bundy thing, you know? Grab the guy by scruff of neck and waistband of pants, frog-march him toward the door, and then...miss. A couple of times. Just slam his face into the door frame. THEN throw him out the door.

If anyone ever tried to harm any of my two dogs or three cats, they'd be in a world of hurt. The ONLY acceptable excuse, in my opinion, is if a dog is charging toward you with obvious intent to seriously injure you. Then it's just self-preservation. Otherwise, MAN......

[Spider Woman]

Is your sister still seeing this goon, Tripler?

When I first saw the title to this thread, I was wondering if you had a bone to pick with Lumpy, a registered member of the SDMB. From reading this and checking the distance between Minot, SD, where you live, Tripler, and Minneapolis, MN, where Lumpy lives, I'm assuming they are not the same person.

[MsRobyn]

Except (and I can say this because I'm physically here) that Minot is in North Dakota.

Robin

[Tripler]

Originally posted by Spider Woman
Is your sister still seeing this goon, Tripler?

When I first saw the title to this thread, I was wondering if you had a bone to pick with Lumpy, a registered member of the SDMB. From reading this and checking the distance between Minot, SD, where you live, Tripler, and Minneapolis, MN, where Lumpy lives, I'm assuming they are not the same person.

Aw hell no! I've never met Lumpy. It's my Lumpy that I can't stand. We named this moron Lumpy because that's basically what he is.

And as far Sista Trip, she's probably still seeing him. At least he's not in my house drinking my beer. . . Kick my dog and drink my beer? In some Middle Eastern countries, I hear they execute you publicly, bring you back, and then do it again . . .


Tripler
TO Order 01-0311: Upgraded orders - Use of deadly force authorized if my beer is consumed by others than me.

[UncleBill]

First of all, I'd like to upgrade the Cheers for Momma Trip from two to three, and then contend that Deadly Force is Authorized not only for the beer thief, but the dog-kicker also. Not only in Middle Eastern countries, but in the American South.

As in

The use of unnecessary force in the apprehension of the Blues Brothers has been approved.

[UncleBill]

First of all, I'd like to upgrade the Cheers for Momma Trip from two to three, and then contend that Deadly Force is Authorized not only for the beer thief, but the dog-kicker also. Not only in Middle Eastern countries, but in the American South.

As in

The use of unnecessary violence in the apprehension of the Blues Brothers has been approved.