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#1
05-25-2001, 01:50 PM
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It has come to my attention that some Dopers don't know the value of their souls. How can they sell their souls to Lucifer if they don't know it's worth?
"Gosh" you say "I don't know what my soul is worth! How can I sell my soul to Satan if I don't know what I can get for it? Is it worth Diamonds? Rubies? Nude Jell-o wrestlers? Or is my soul only worth a pair of used underpants (and not the good kind of used underpants either)?" CRAZY FENRIS can HELP YOU! For a mere 05% of your soul, CRAZY FENRIS will give you the Straight Dope on Satan's USED SOUL bluebook! More information means more bargaining power! Get that addition to your mansion! Hold out for the Chief Justice post! YES! YES! YES! YES! I'll give you The Straight Dope! Yes, I'll let you in on Satan's main bargaining chip! Yes! I'm gonna fry for this. "But Fenris!" I hear you cry "Only 05% of my soul? Such a small amount for SO MUCH INFORMATION! HOW CAN YOU AFFORD IT!?" I'll tell you, friends: The secret is low, low overhead and high, high prices and because I'm CRAaaaaAAzy! So, post the condition of your soul and I'll tell you (for the aforementioned 05%) how many harem girls/guys it's worth. Crazy Fenris: Used Souls Appraiser 
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#3
05-25-2001, 03:05 PM
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:regards soul::
The condition of my soul? Ummmmm. Ummm. It's in perfect condition. Trust me. They all look like this. Once you send it off to the Dry Cleaners It'll look like it still has the tag on it. Really. So anyway, how much for this thing?
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#4
05-25-2001, 03:30 PM
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Quote:
"But Crazy Fenris" I hear you cry "What if I don't make an agreement with The Fallen One?" Well, that's a risk that CraaAAAaazy Fenris is just willing to take! We belive that the Dark Lord is gonna make you an offer you CAN'T refuse! Crazy Fenris
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#5
05-25-2001, 03:50 PM
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I'm not sure how much this one is worth anymore. It's pretty old and weary right now. It's rather like one of those books you find in the basement of a used books store that no one realizes is down there. The cover's a bit frayed and the pages are yellow and starting to crumble, but still you pick it up and rifle through it because you never know what might be hidden in there.
So ... what's it worth to you?
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#6
05-25-2001, 04:51 PM
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Hmmm. After much soul searching (during which time, I also got the kitchen 'catch all drawer' cleared out, as well as putting away some laundry - hey, this soul searching is tough to do in a cluttered house), I think I found it.
Tried it on, seems a little tight around the ethics, a little loose around the flirting department. Has this strong lean towards the left - but apparently has enough right leanings to achieve balance. Well worn, but in a good way. A few dings and dents (from that divorce thing), and this long rust stain (from a year ago when son was in the hospital - salt water causes rust pretty substantially you know). But I believe such things give it character. Or, at least that's my story and I'm sticking to it. All in all, a good fit still
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#7
05-25-2001, 05:43 PM
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Hmm - I had a brief exchange with Fenris earlier, during which he accused me of cruelty for my willful disregard of his delicate flower-like sensibilities, as well as my doubts of the purity of his soul. (I had pointed out that his soul was the current Blue Light Special. I have no idea why he took umbrage at this.)
Anyway, I've been away for a couple of hours, sobbing in the men's room over my heartless comments. (I'm a woman, but I find crying in the men's room more interesting.) How could I have wronged such a fine, upstanding citizen of the galaxy as the noble Fenris? Oh, unique snowflake that you are, with eyes like limpid sun-dappled pools and the heart of a warrior-poet? The self-flagellation went on for nigh unto the entire afternoon. Now I return, much chastened, and what do I find? Crazy Fenris, Used Souls Appraiser. Taking a finder's fee, while the Teeming Doper Millions risk eternal damnation. Fenris, no more will I believe your protestations of purity. Never again shall I sniffle into a sodden wad of tissue over the possibility that I have injured you. Rather I shall glory in the following knowledge: Dude, you are so gonna fry for this. PS - Euty, your soul sounds like it might be a collectible. Try taking it over to Antiques Roadshow before you close a sale. Don't trust Fenris. He's CraaAAAaazy.
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#8
05-25-2001, 05:43 PM
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Hmm - I had a brief exchange with Fenris earlier, during which he accused me of cruelty for my willful disregard of his delicate flower-like sensibilities, as well as my doubts of the purity of his soul. (I had pointed out that his soul was the current Blue Light Special. I have no idea why he took umbrage at this.)
Anyway, I've been away for a couple of hours, sobbing in the men's room over my heartless comments. (I'm a woman, but I find crying in the men's room more interesting.) How could I have wronged such a fine, upstanding citizen of the galaxy as the noble Fenris? Oh, unique snowflake that you are, with eyes like limpid sun-dappled pools and the heart of a warrior-poet? The self-flagellation went on for nigh unto the entire afternoon. Now I return, much chastened, and what do I find? Crazy Fenris, Used Souls Appraiser. Taking a finder's fee, while the Teeming Doper Millions risk eternal damnation. Fenris, no more will I believe your protestations of purity. Never again shall I sniffle into a sodden wad of tissue over the possibility that I have injured you. Rather I shall glory in the following knowledge: Dude, you are so gonna fry for this. PS - Euty, your soul sounds like it might be a collectible. Try taking it over to Antiques Roadshow before you close a sale. Don't trust Fenris. He's CraaAAAaazy.
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#10
05-25-2001, 06:07 PM
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Euty
First, I'm only the middleman ("So LITTLE overhead that when it rains, I GET WET!") so other than as a friend, your soul has no value to me, personally. The Lord of Evil, on the other hand: ::examines soul:: That's not fraying around the edges, it's the sort of patina that good old stuff gets! And, good heave...er...unfortunate expression, please disregard...bookstores with forgotten basments are the best kinds for finding treasure. This soul is quite the collector's item for some lucky fallen angel Per my research, the Prince of Darkness will offer you either a person of your choice who'll give you hot oil massages and rub your feet AND a collection of every Disney Short ever made, on DVD, letterboxed and all in pristine viewing condition OR a '55 DeSoto, with fake leather seats, a steering wheel made out of chains, a horn that plays the chorus of "If You Think I'm Sexy" along with a bumper sticker that says "Honk if You Nuke Fat Chicks", $223.00 in small unmarked bills AND 3 shoeboxes full of pictures of nude politicans, ranging from Ted Kennedy to Tip O'Neill to Richard Nixon. Your choice. wring The tightness around the ethics, while desireable amongst a select, elite few is actually a drawback when selling to the Lord of Flies. He's in the resale market, and outside of the conissuer, this quality's sadly not in demand as much anymore. However, there's quite a dedicated core group who won't accept a soul without this feature. Per the Bluebook, Old Scratch will offer you: One(1) Guilt Free video tape of Bunny Lake is Missing, seven(7) worry-free days regarding your son (first day of college, date, whatever), one(1) set of all of The Archies albums and a magic wand that will make the very best Dim Sum appear when waved. Scylla, eh? The SAME Scylla that I just noticed callously ignored my r very first post on the board, especially when I was responding to your OP? (Although I misspelled your name.) The one who, through this callous gesture scarred me for life? Well, well, well. ::examines Scylla's soul:: Look at this. It's in great shape, but...what ARE these stains? Eeewww. ::kicks metaphorical tires:: And...what's this? Bailing wire? Oh this will never do. It looks like it came from a scratch and dent sale. ::makes that tsk-ing noise that all mechanics use, just before they tell you that your "little noise it makes sometimes" will set you back $3000:: <sigh> I'm afraid that Mr Scratch will only be able to offer you 13 Evil Nazi Groundhogs, dead or alive, OR .28c and one of Chairman Kaga's old outfits, slightly burned. Your choice. Hey, don't blame me, the Bluebook NEVER lies.  And the rest of you: C'mon down to CRAZY FENRIS'S USED SOUL EMPORIUM! IF THESE AREN'T THE BEST PRICES WHERE YOU ARE, GO SOMEWHERE ELSE! Crazy Fenris
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#11
05-25-2001, 06:09 PM
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Used soul appraisals????
Oh man, you are my new best friend. As Queen of the Underworld, I have got literally BILLIONS of souls hanging around here. Man, every time I turn around I'm just tripping over these miserable things, clutching at my ankles and begging for mercy & stuff. Enough to drive a Goddess berserk. I can't even get in to my craft room anymore! How much for the ones in my craft room, anyway? Last time I counted, there were 7,854 of them, all in pretty good shape. They're antiques, in fact--12th century peasant folk, not the corrupt royalty. I surely hope we can do business, my man! 
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#12
05-25-2001, 06:19 PM
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Well, hell. Try this one out:
One Jewish soul Minted in Chicago, IL. Raised in Los Angeles and now living in the mountains of rural Virginia and loving it. Turned it's back on the city and currently lives the life of the country squire. This soul went to college completely on his single mothers dime. It contributed nothing to its education. This soul spent the period from 15 1/2 to high school graduation in lock up for auto theft and other offenses too silly to go into here. This soul once called an arresting officer a 'dickhead'. This soul, in it's freshman year in college, dated a girl for 3 months (including a sexual relationship)(hey, I'm literally baring my soul here) only to leave her for her roommate over spring break. This soul once ran a telemarketing department. This soul has been responsible for more than 250,000 pieces of junk mail flying through the mailstream in the last year. This soul is currently whining about the response to an article on the objectification of women at a trade show. This soul has fibbed to it's publishers over the years about the time it takes to get back from sales trips to get free days off. This soul works his assistants to death but...this soul frequently doesn't report their unscheduled sick days to HR. This soul brings in 3 pounds of chocolate to his department every Monday. This soul should be out mowing the lawn right now. This soul loves his wife and baby girl very much. This soul is an old school punk but has a secret place in his heart for Quiet Riot, Duran Duran, Big Country and John Denver. This soul uses the words 'signage' and 'proactive' in meetings. This soul has been a network admin and webmaster and enjoys playing with board members by using tech-speak that could come straight from "Star Trek". So anyway. What is this soul worth on the open market? And is that per pound or in sum?
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#13
05-25-2001, 06:43 PM
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Hmmm. I did snub Fenris on his first post, didn't I?
Heh, heh, heh. I suppose this means you'll have to switch political parties, doesn't it? Actually, I was pretty new as well, and probably just missed you post. Also, when I'm in agreement with someone I often proceed without comment rather than preaching to the choir. I've since learned that this isn't proper netiquette. I'd apologize, but since you've so underhandedly devalued my very soul, I guess I'll just go and sulk.
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#14
05-25-2001, 06:53 PM
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Quote:
This soul is slightly used, though not so much recently. Unfortunately, it's been up on blocks in the garage by itself for too long. I guess you could say it's a "sole" soul (with a sense of humor, though sometimes bad humor). It has a quiet, but wordly finish. It's getting up in years, approaching what tactful people call the "classic" stage. I think with a good tune up and a wax job, it could hum along nicely.
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#15
05-25-2001, 06:54 PM
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Quote:
FREE POMEGRANATES WHILE YOU WAIT! 12th Century peasants are a dime a dozen. No: Literally: 12 for 10c. Which means that your craft room souls (Not including my 3% take for bulk appraisals. If you want 'em individually priced, my fee goes up slightly) are worth $65.45. ::flips through Bluebook:: UNLESS...these wouldn't happen to be Grand Fenwickian 12th century souls, would they? It seems that neither Satan nor...um...his antagonist have them in their possession and there's quite a bidding war. If so, Your Queenship, you have quite a prize! Fenris
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#18
05-25-2001, 07:56 PM
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Quote:
"Phone-Spammers-R-You?" I can't put a price on your soul... ...mainly because Satan's recruiting department have called Crazy Fenris and asked if you're interested in a job. They're disappointed by the "loves wife and kid" thing and the "kind to employees" thing, but they're willing to put up with your personal quirks. Expect a call from Mr. Beelzebub, Lord of Flies in the next few days. Please have your resume ready. Relocation will be required. Crazy Fenris
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#19
05-25-2001, 08:44 PM
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Quote:
It's hell, I tell you, hell. Or is that the idea? I can see it now... Quote:
Mmmm...damnation goodness...
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#20
05-25-2001, 09:02 PM
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Quote:
When we built this craft room, we were envisioning...well, CRAFTS! All these used souls are cluttering up the shelves. It is getting so you can't find the silk flowers, let alone the crochet hooks! 
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#21
05-25-2001, 09:07 PM
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My soul...
I do work in a cube farm but I mock the company and its customers frequently. I have a tendency to flirt but I'm good at it-or so I've been told. I do have three animal familars-two birds and a gecko. I've trained one of the birds to say "Shut your piehole." I support my friends, both IRL and the ones I only know via email,without hesitation. And I'm not too proud to admit I'm somebody's little ferret-check the sig.
__________________
I'm overrated, desecrated. Still somehow illuminated. Hang on to me forever baby...I could always swim
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#22
05-25-2001, 09:07 PM
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Mine is a romantic soul; filled with the pleasure of candle lit rooms and chilled white wine; soaring in the sweet night air or floating in the arms of my best beloved. My soul shines through the window of my eyes like the rising sun in paradise. My soul moves me to weep at love songs, when princesses are rescued, and when the dog comes home. Moonlight, gentle sighs, long lingering glances, and all such trappings of romantic love are etched upon my soul, forever to remind me of my one, true beloved. My soul is pure in this devout, chaste love, sanctified in the flames of passion, and immortalized by my true love's adulation.
Yeah, right. And if ya believe that, I got a bridge I'd like you to see. Perfect for ya, one owner, only got crossed on Sundays after church. I swear. But hey, Fenris, if ya got time, give me a price on the one I described, just, you know, for a lark.
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#23
05-25-2001, 10:02 PM
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Grand Fenwickian Souls?
Oh for goodness sakes, why didn't you SAY so! I've got 127 of them! Been using some as footrest stuffing (I've found that Fenwickian footrests really are superior), and we used the rest to make a bitchin' leash for Cerberus.
I am willing to let them go, though, if the money's good enough (got a few popes down here that'll do just as well for stuffing). I'm looking to open a bed n' breakfast/casino on the outskirts of the Vatican City. Showgirls, a 24-hour-buffet, and Elvis-themed wedding chapel, and all that snazzy stuff. What'll you give me for them? I'll even toss in this really cool decoupage coffee can--it was the first soul I ever caught myself, and I do get a lot of compliments on it.
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#24
05-26-2001, 07:09 AM
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Quote:
A seat in the U.S. Senate (or elected body of your choice), along with a Limo Driver who's willing to put out on request, 1/4 pound of non-Fattening Godiva Chocolates delivered monthly AND a monthly stipend of $368.55, deliverable in Indian-head nickels. Fenris
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#25
05-26-2001, 07:36 AM
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I, being the stupid idiot that I am, promised my soul to my girlfriend who took it and promptly broke-up with me. So I'm looking for a used soul that I could buy, or at the very least lease. Preferably a nice virile male one but I'm willing to settle for an outgoing lesbian. I'd be willing to pay just about any price.
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#26
05-26-2001, 11:52 AM
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Quote:
Oh, and my soul? Not for sale, unless my husband decides to sell it...
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#28
05-26-2001, 12:37 PM
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Fenris,
I could use an evaluation before I head to the crossroads. Hook me up!
__________________
Goethe once said, "A useless life is an early death." In Goethe's terms, most of you are already dead.
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#29
05-26-2001, 01:18 PM
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I have the soul of a dancer with two left feet, the soul of a poet without whimsey, the soul of a colorblind artist, the soul of a writer's block. I have no idea how I got them - I'm thinking they were mixed in with my stuff last time we moved. So, can we deal here? I'm not looking to score big or anything... just a little something to put away for my golden years.
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#31
05-26-2001, 09:11 PM
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Quote:
I am a generous man, always willing to purchase the beers. I am a rabid hockey and football fan, but I go to baseball games cause they're cheap, and for the atmosphere at beautiful Coors Field. I can frequently be seen being kind to animals, and never throw cigarettes out of the car. My truck is always clean, unless it take it four wheeling, because I like to leave the mud on it for a couple days. I do not use the ashtray, I use a soda can which I recycle. I mow my lawn whenever I damn well feel like it, and not a minute before. Sometimes, I hurt myself and don't realize it for a couple hours, when I look down and say, "Wow, what the hell is that from?" I play softball (3rd base) with passion. Fat Tire is my favorite beer. I plan on taking a friend of mine on a pilgrimage to the brewery as soon as he returns from out of state. I am not beyond driving 40 miles to the airport to spend 20 minutes talking with a friend passing through town. I get teary-eyed imagining the Avs winning the cup, and Ray Bourque skating a victory lap holding it. The mountains, my home, and my dog sometimes make me want to weep with happiness, and my son is the most important person on the planet to me. Do your worst.
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#32
05-26-2001, 09:12 PM
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Fenris... I'm not looking to buy right now. Just shopping around, checking out the prices. Thats all. I just want to make that clear up front. Heck, I didn't even bring my checkbook.
Question, how are you in such buddy buddy cohorts with the Devil that you get a cut of souls. Also, what do you plan on doing with only a small percentage of mine and the others? Create some Mega-patchwork soul?
__________________
For every homicide in the US there are TWO suicides. Think about that. Comfort someone troubled.
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#33
05-26-2001, 09:35 PM
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Uh, Fenris?
Yeah, you. The CRAZY one. I have borne (gasp!) an illegitimate child. I do things my own damned way. I don't iron my seams flat when I quilt. I picked up and moved 3000 KM away from everything familiar just 'cause I felt like it. I let my kid play outside until dark. I read my kid bedtime stories every night. I have taken homemade cookies to every stinkin' rehearsal for every single production I have ever been in. I still miss my dog that died 15 years ago. I have a tattoo. I worked for an escort agency - albeit fully clothed in the office manager position. I don't always floss. I'm damned cute and tell people that all the time, whether or not they believe me. I have been known to swallow. I don't use Napster because I believe it's theft. I make kick-ass pie. How much ya got for me? Ginger
__________________
I don't think so, therefore I'm probably not.
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#34
05-27-2001, 08:11 AM
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Quote:
Fairy: The Dread One (per the BlueBook) will offer you: A complete collection of every Roald Dahl book ever written (even the Gremlin one) A recipe for perfect pancakes A magic wand which will complete paperwork for you. A massuse who'll rub your feet/back/neck on demand A $722.05/month stipend A box of paints, a rhyming dictionary, and tap-dance lessons. Crazy Fenris
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#35
05-27-2001, 08:25 AM
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Quote:
Satan LIKES sports fans. For YOU, he'll make a special offer (and I'm feeling generous since the Avs beat the snot out of the hated Jersey Devils (and humiliated that unctous, smarmy announcer): Per Douglas Wallop's The Year The Yankees Lost The Pennant (aka the musical "Damn Yankees!"), he'll transform you into the best hockey player EVER, AND let you play for whatever team you want for one (1) season. He'll also give you a megababe for that season. Crazy Fenris, still feeling giddy from the Avs victory last night, WILL tell you the catch: Do not play for the Avs. His DREAD plan is that he'll get whatever team's town worked up into a frenzy with the hope of victory, and then...you'll lose the Stanley Cup in the last possible game, thus destroying their hopes and dreams. Should you take this offer, might I suggest you choose Jersey as your team? When you're done, he'll give you a lifetime supply of Fat Tire beer, a home in the foothills, and the magic power to let you slap the "Four Wheeling, even on property where it's allowed, is EVIL" crowd (Peter Boyles, for example) in the face, at will, from a distance. Fenris
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#37
06-01-2001, 01:49 AM
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Fenris, some of us are still waiting for our appraisals. I have to tell you, customer service is very important in this line of work. People just don't have time to wait for slow appraisals--they'e apt to just go a sell their souls for the first price offered. We wouldn't be thinking of selling at all if things weren't in dire straits. And if we sell before you give us a quote, well, we get screwed, but you get nothing. I swear, I don't know how you stay in business. I don't want to be rude, and I don't want to have to ask to talk to the manager, I just want you to do what you advertised.
I'm glad we had this talk.
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#38
06-01-2001, 09:20 AM
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OK, I'll queue-up for an appraisal:
Fenris: I love my wife and dote on my daughter. I'm kind to animals, and keep three cats. No dogs 'casue I've no time for them I volunteer at homeless shelters, and donate to organizations that serve the homeless. I donate to environmental causes and to Paws With A Cause. I served the country for 15 years in the Navy, working on nuclear reactors and submarines. I'm capable around the house, cook well, and can fix the car. The Dark One would probably love my chili: It can set wooden spoons on fire and peel the chrome off the stove. I lean slightly to the right-of-center: Fiscally conservative, socially liberal (but not too liberal )I'm a damn good shot. I give blood. BUT: I'm a Technology Consultant to the pharmaceutical industry, and can be an insufferable know-it-all.
__________________
"The biggest big business in America is not steel, automobiles, or television. It is the manufacture, refinement and distribution of anxiety." - Eric Sevareid, American news commentator (1912-1992).
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#39
06-01-2001, 09:42 AM
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Alright, Fenris. Take this one for a test drive and see what it's worth.
Caucasian male, age 28. Smokes, but is cutting back. Or, at least that's what he's been telling himself for three years. Works as an auditor for a small phone company, where his job is to screw over big phone companies. Owns a PT Cruiser. Was a lifelong Redskins fan but switched allegiance to the Ravens in October of '00 (before they were really on the radar as "going anywhere"). Moderates The Pit, though not with the sanguine sarcasm of Alphagene, nor the swift and deadly justice of Lynn. Right now, said soul is in the possession of a girl named Rebecca; I just want to make sure she gets a good price if she ends up shopping it around.
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#40
06-01-2001, 09:45 AM
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"Dear Fenris, Please Don't Put A Price On My Soul"--Bob Dylan (paraphrased, of course).
"I'm A Soul Man"--What is currently playing on the loudspeakers in Fenris' showroom.
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#42
06-01-2001, 10:26 AM
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Hey, Crazy Fenris, take a look at this one:
One slightly used soul, not quite 30 years old. Loves to sleep outside and skinny dip and sing whilst hiking. Has loads and loads of friends in many states and keeps in touch with them even when they forget to call. Has no true love but hasn't given up looking. Volunteers on Mondays, 'cause it makes a bad day better. Loves public transportation. Always stops to talk to the little old lady who walks so very slowly down the street. But <gasp> works for The ManTM. In marketing. Sending direct mail. Is there any hope?
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#43
06-01-2001, 10:43 AM
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Quote:
And as for why I take the 5%, whatdayathink The Devil'll pays for the remaing bits and pieces he'll need to complete his collection! <evil grin> Crazy Fenris
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#44
06-01-2001, 10:49 AM
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Quote:
What kind of pie? Fenris
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#45
06-01-2001, 11:05 AM
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Quote:
Kallessa, by your own admission, you didn't offer me your soul. Only one person has a soul so pure, so luminescent and modesty forbids me from mentioning the value of this soul. I'm a busy, busy man. I don't have time to deal with hypotheticals. And if you want to speak to the manager, be my guest. I'll get him for you. ::runs inside:: <much rustling, thumping, a loud "Ouch!"> :: Fenris comes out wearing an obviously fake handlebar moustache and a straw hat:: <fake voice> Yeeeeeeeessss? I am the manager. How may I help you? (signed: The Manager)
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#46
06-01-2001, 11:10 AM
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So, Crazy Fenris, think I can trade this one in for a better model?
During finals week of my senior year in college, a mere week and a half before graduation, I sold my textbooks to raise money to buy beer. I needed to finish a beer-quest at the student pub.
When I was eight, a friend and I dropped his cat several times from the top of a stepladder onto a pile of cushions to see if cats really landed on their feet. I kill spiders in painful ways whenever I see them. The more painful, the better. Fire, Raid, fire, boiling water, fire, crushing, fire, a shotgun, and fire. (I don't like to get into the shotgun part.) I'm a very inefficient worker. I'm going on vacation next week and I can't seem to get anything done today. This is demonstrated by all the time I'm killing on the SDMB. I argue that Best YetTM macaroni and cheese is sufficiently nutritious to support me for a month. I have irrational terror of minor things, such as meeting my girlfriend's parents, or going to the beach. In my mind, I view these as "meeting them and being buried in a shallow grave" or "going to the beach and being simultaneously mauled by a tiger shark and devoured by a Portuguese man-o-war". To balance that out, I volunteer for a battered women's shelter. I know the folks at the local Red Cross office well, and appear every 56 days like clockwork. I remember anniversaries, even the minor ones like first meeting, first date, first kiss, first "I love you", and first base. I'm a firm believer that the Vikings can actually win the Super Bowl, and refuse to listen to the naysayers. I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people LIKE me!
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#47
06-01-2001, 11:43 AM
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Okay, Fenris, soul-baring begins:
Thirtymumblednumber soul: used (slight scarring, but fading with time) spirit bent (but not broken) warped sense of humor formerly a spineless invertebrate, but developing a backbone (finally!) Was a teacher, then a carny, now a secretary. I rescue injured animals, yet play 'Godzillakitty' with my own cat. I badger people to tell me the endings of movies. I am a lousy cook. I adore terrible puns. Occasionally, I will pay for someone else's meal or purchase without telling them, just to watch the confused look on their face. I hate needles but I still donate blood and platelets. What will you offer me for my soul (that is, if a little agnostic owl has a soul at all)?
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#48
06-01-2001, 06:46 PM
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Here's another soul awaiting evaluation from the amazing Fenris and his "Cities on Flame with Rock n Roll Review"
On the bad side, this soul:
On the good side, this soul[list] *Was most happlily and sincerely married for 24 years before losing his beloved wife to a dementing illness *Always remembers anniversaries and special days *Buys flowers *Genuinely loves his new wife of two and a half years and has made serious adjustments in life style to accomodate her tastes *Is a serious science fiction fan, who will be attending Westercon next month *Loves Australian Rules Football *Has eclectic music tastes, ranging from kick-ass rock n roll to folk to country to a capella *Is seriously sentimental and can easily be moved to tears *Loves his children, even if it's hard for him to articulate at times So, Fenris, whaddya think?
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#49
06-01-2001, 06:52 PM
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Fenris, fenris!! Do me next do me next!!!!!!!!
Here's my soul! ::rips it out from the back of the neck:: It's only sixteen years or so (seventeen if you believe soul starts at conception!) Since its in such new and shiny (and innocent ) condition, what can I get?
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#50
06-01-2001, 06:57 PM
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hey waita minute..... I think I got undersold!
Quote:
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