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Old 02-18-2019, 05:40 PM
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Are parents who don't push their teenagers to get jobs doing bad by them?


Reddit seems to be full of depressed 20-somethings who have never held a job. It's full of lots of depressed people, many of whom are employed. But the former group always sticks out to me as the most desperate and demoralized.

How common is it for parents not to strongly encourage their high schoolers to get a job, whether it be a summer job or afterschool job (or both)?

Do you think getting and keeping a job in adolescence is a critical life experience in modern society? Because I do. I shudder to think what kind of person I would have turned into if I hadn't been schooled in the art of menial labor every summer of high school. The lessons I learned from those horrible jobs were invaluable. I still find myself reflecting back on them all these years later.

Now, I guess I can see how a rich kid could be spared from adolescent employment without it being that detrimental to their ability to "launch". But it seems to me that a typical working-class or middle-class kid needs to learn as soon as they can how to apply for a job, sit through an interview, and endure all the bullshit to get a paycheck at the end of the week. At the very least, getting a job demystifies the process of getting a job. So it's no wonder to me why someone would feel intimidated by the "real world" if they haven't gotten this kind of instruction earlier in life. It's hard for me to feel like a parent who doesn't push a kid in this direction is doing right by them.

What do you think?
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Old 02-18-2019, 05:43 PM
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Depends on the kids. Some turn out fine without the experience, some would be trouble even with it. On the whole, a good variety of crappy jobs is probably good life experience. So, short answer, I'd "strongly encourage" it for some kids, and not for others. I'd be more generally in favor it if for practically everyone (although I can conceive of some exceptions)
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Old 02-18-2019, 05:53 PM
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My oldest son wanted to work. He was into trucks and him and his Dad were rebuilding a 64 chevy. He wanted truck parts. My middle girl worked at a grocery chain, doing their weekly sale circular posters. She brought the supplies home and did them, and 1 summer of fast food work. ( that made her determined to get a degree).
The lil'wrekker, not so much. She thought she might babysit her brothers kids, never happened. I did it. Not daily. Just special nights out. I don't know how she's ever gonna be gainfully employed. My older 2 are gainfully employed as well as their spouses.
The lil'wrekker is speshul, forsure. She's a full time college girl with a couple months of library aide work on her resume. I may have to feed her until I die. Alas.
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Old 02-18-2019, 06:08 PM
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heres the thing tho back in the 50s-80s when the whole teens getting jobs was in its golden age you didn't have :


1 a lot of those jobs being competed for by displaced adults who lost theirs or adults looking for a 2nd or even 3rd side job


1a a lot of places not hiring anyone in high school due to the perception " they just screw around make things worse and cause me problems by a lot of places that used ot hire teenagers


2 a lot of the educational expectations parents have for kids have today Ie "id rather Johnny do his homework and study (which is 5 times that what it was when I went to hs in the 90s) and extra credit so he can go to college than a crappy low paying burger job
2a johnny has so many sports and extra activities (drama science ect club)at school that help with the above he dosent have time for a job


3 the" I grew up poor and worked like a dog but now im well off so my kids wont have to do so : idea


ive seen this ideal in action : I was at a newly opened gamestop and a kid and his mom came in and the kid started talking to one of the floor guys and mentioned he thought it would be cool to work there after school or in the summer the guy gave him the application and his mom took it and handed it back to the gs guy saying " I haven't suffered through 6 years of crappy jobs and loans to go to school so I could start as the office cleaner until I worked my way up to a job I was qualified for so you'd have to get a job as a kid like I did apparently she ended up owning the place ……
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Old 02-18-2019, 06:16 PM
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There are a lot of parents, particularly parents who don't have a college education, who believe that it's more important for their kids to concentrate on their studies than to work part-time. My parents were like that (I took summer courses instead of getting a summer job), at least until I received a college acceptance letter. On the other hand, I knew a lot of kids who were smarter than me who also worked through high school.

Overall, I think the crappy jobs I had in college were good experience.
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Old 02-18-2019, 06:17 PM
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I think that it is probably at least a bit of a disservice to the kid.

My nephew is a college freshman; by all accounts, he's doing very well in school -- he made the honor roll in his first semester, and he seems to be finally coming out of his shell socially.

But...he's never worked a day in his life, and, as far as I can tell, his parents never even brought up the topic. I do wonder about the culture shock he's going to undergo when he does get that first job.

I'll also note that my nephew shares a lot of his personality, and his smarts, with his father (my brother-in-law), who is, to be charitable, not a great employee. My brother-in-law is a very smart guy, but he is also pretty pompous about his smarts, and has real issues with hiding his clear disgust for managers and colleagues whom he thinks are beneath him. As a result, his career (he's a senior IT guy) has consisted of bouncing from job to job, once he wears out his welcome. So, I can foresee some real issues for my nephew the first time he has to deal with doing crap work, or with an idiot for a boss.
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Old 02-18-2019, 06:26 PM
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But...he's never worked a day in his life, and, as far as I can tell, his parents never even brought up the topic. I do wonder about the culture shock he's going to undergo when he does get that first job.
I never worked a day in my life until I got my first job after college. No culture shock here. Pretty normal, all in all.

Quote:
I'll also note that my nephew shares a lot of his personality, and his smarts, with his father (my brother-in-law), who is, to be charitable, not a great employee. My brother-in-law is a very smart guy, but he is also pretty pompous about his smarts, and has real issues with hiding his clear disgust for managers and colleagues whom he thinks are beneath him. As a result, his career (he's a senior IT guy) has consisted of bouncing from job to job, once he wears out his welcome. So, I can foresee some real issues for my nephew the first time he has to deal with doing crap work, or with an idiot for a boss.
Well, that's a separate issue. It's something better to get "out of the way" with a consequenceless first job in school. Except if you BIL still has those issues, is there much reason to think those behavior issues will ever go away?
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Old 02-18-2019, 06:32 PM
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Well, that's a separate issue. It's something better to get "out of the way" with a consequenceless first job in school. Except if you BIL still has those issues, is there much reason to think those behavior issues will ever go away?
It's an excellent question. When the nephew was younger (up until age 14 or 15), he had *serious* anger / emotion management issues. He'd get frustrated or disappointed over small things, and suffer a complete meltdown. I know that he went to a counselor for a while (something his father could probably really use, too), and nephew seems to be more in control these days.

On the other hand, on his second day of college, his roommate accidentally locked him out of their room while nephew was in the shower, making the nephew late for a freshman convocation, and causing a panic attack which lasted for days. So...I dunno.

The anecdote's becoming increasingly removed from the OP, so I'll stop the sidetrack now.
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Old 02-18-2019, 06:35 PM
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Eh, I didn't have a "real" job (i.e., not babysitting, volunteer work, or one-day temp agency assignments) until after my sophomore year of college. I don't think it's that big of a deal. (I did apply for jobs before that, but had a hard time getting them; the problem was that I was twenty before I a) looked old enough to have a job; and b) had acquired enough social eptitude to get through an interview without the prospective employer immediately going "HELL NO." At any rate, I seem to have caught up and become a perfectly employable adult.)
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Old 02-18-2019, 06:36 PM
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It does depend on the kid, and on the circumstances. My son didn't really have the option of working any time during high school, as an expat kid. He went to summer enrichment programs like CTY instead. Given a choice I would have preferred that he work during the summer because it can be character-building, but it didn't seem to matter much in his case: the first time he had an opportunity to work (as an ESL teaching assistant at the summer programs offered by a private school here in Hawaii), he was over the moon, even though he had to drive an hour each way to get to work and the job started at 7:30am each day. I have a photo of him grinning like a madman with his very first paycheck!

I'd love to pat myself on the back for good parenting, but nah...that was just his inborn temperament. Still, as a general parenting guideline, I would want my kid to work during the summer in high school. During the school year would depend on what the kid could handle - it might be too much with a tough courseload and an easily stressed student, or it might be a great experience.
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Old 02-18-2019, 06:37 PM
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Like others responding here, I'm of two minds about this. One thing I've learned is that my experience growing up is not my kid's experience, and I can't force it on them. Too often I find myself learning that much is just different now.

I'll use the example of getting a driver's license (not to derail the original discussion, just an example of something being different). When I was growing up it was normal for a teenager to get their driver's license and soon as they could, on their 16th birthday, because you JUST COULD NOT WAIT to drive. Now, it seems, not so much.

Similarly, having a job and having your own money was very desirable when and where I was growing up. Now, it seems, not so much. Add into this the idea of independence and getting your own place.

I do find with my one kid, they and their friends seem to be on a little different timeline about these life milestones. They are getting there, just later than when I was growing up. It seems that the drive to be a grownup isn't the same today. Maybe it's all those memes about "adulting" being so hard that scares them off, I dunno.
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Old 02-18-2019, 06:43 PM
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My daughter is 17 and will just be starting her first job in about a month. At times my husband and I strongly suggested she work, but we never pushed it. Shes done some volunteering, in fact shes doing that as I type this. I think it will be a good experience for her, I worked when I was 14. That said, school comes first, and I remember having a lot of work to do in high school, but based on her experience since middle school, I think its gone over the top with the amount of work and, what seems to me, like more detailed knowledge students are required to have these days.
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Old 02-18-2019, 09:03 PM
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it's not as easy to get a job as a teen as it was when I was a teen. I babysat with absolutely no child experience at the age of 12. For multiple families. I'm a parent now, and there is absolutely no way that I would hire 12 year old me to watch my kids. Most of the jobs I had (late 80s and early 90s) there is no chance for a teen to get now.
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Old 02-18-2019, 09:44 PM
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Our parents never pushed us and all 3 of us are college graduates who earn more than they spend. So in our case, no.
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Old 02-18-2019, 09:46 PM
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it's not as easy to get a job as a teen as it was when I was a teen. I babysat with absolutely no child experience at the age of 12. For multiple families. I'm a parent now, and there is absolutely no way that I would hire 12 year old me to watch my kids. Most of the jobs I had (late 80s and early 90s) there is no chance for a teen to get now.
True. Also jobs that used to be for kids have been taken over by adults. Paper routes, bagboy at the grocery store, fast food, etc. are full of adults now.
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Old 02-18-2019, 09:53 PM
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My son was doing volunteer work, odd jobs, pet sitting, mowing lawns, etc. in high school I never pushed him to get a "real job". Why should he? He was doing enough with going to school and earning his spending money in a way that let him enjoy being a teenager.

After high school, he was expected to get at least a part time job during the summers and while he was in college. At 20, he's working full time at a hotel (front desk/night audit) and going to city college part time. I say he's doing pretty well.

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Old 02-18-2019, 09:55 PM
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Life is for the living, you’ll never get those years back. I wish like hell I didn’t work in college, I didn’t need the money.

As long as a high school or college student is doing something constructive, it beats working crap jobs.


Get involved and do things. Don’t waste your valuable younger years working menial jobs.
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Old 02-18-2019, 10:56 PM
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The best part of my kids working is that they realised that crappy jobs are crappy and all four are now at Uni studying for proper careers (nursing, economics and engineering).

I started working a local market selling secondhand clothes in the late 1970's, taught me a lot and I still remember some of the skills!
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Old 02-18-2019, 11:25 PM
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My kids were always looking for ways to earn money. Raking leaves, shoveling snow, walking dogs. I didn't have to push them. They wanted stuff like Game Boys and Magic: The Gathering cards and certain clothes I woudn't buy them (black leather trench coat a la The Matrix).

They also could get a certain amount of their allowance docked if they didn't do their chores.

One son had a job he liked better than school and it was actually kind of a struggle to convince him he needed to get a HS diploma.
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Old 02-19-2019, 06:20 AM
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I had a couple of jobs in high school and college, but just in the summers, not simultaneous with schoolwork (other than babysitting).

I wish I had been forced to APPLY for competitive jobs earlier in my life (say, in high school). THAT’s the experience I’d missed out on. Until disturbingly late in my life, jobs either just fell into my lap (stepfather’s colleague is looking for someone to XYZ...), or evolved from volunteer activities. I never learned how to handle the disappointment of rejection, get up, and keep trying; and, I had little sense of testing out the value of my skills in the open market, to then adjust those skills and expectations accordingly.

So, I’ll make sure my child DOES have more experience with these things.

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Old 02-19-2019, 08:54 AM
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When I was growing up, we needed the money and I worked or tried to, with mixed success, all through HS. My first three college years were actually part-time with a full time job. Then I got a scholarship and, eventually, a TA-ship, to finish.

It never occurred to my kids to work during HS. In college, my older son worked for part of his first summer, then took off with two friends for a month in Europe. I don't think he worked the other two summers, but he always had a job in the computer center help desk. My younger son worked for two of the three summers for a company in his specialty (traffic engineering) and spent the third as a kind of intern. My daughter worked only in her third summer. But all three had regular jobs at their colleges during the school year. And all three score very high in conscientiousness.
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Old 02-19-2019, 08:59 AM
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There are a lot of parents, particularly parents who don't have a college education, who believe that it's more important for their kids to concentrate on their studies than to work part-time.
One more of the 'it takes all kinds' troop. Unlike the parents above mine are hyper-educated and successful and mom - with whom I lived - never allowed me to have a job in high school. I mowed a few lawns for some spare cash but no schedule or whatever. She told me to concentrate on what I was doing - school - and the rest could wait. My first 'real' job was spinning records for dances and on-air my freshman year. That summer I bused tables. The second summer I had my paid internship and went on from there.

I did the same for my kids. The oldest got her International Baccalaureate in high school and is kicking ass as a freshman in college. The only work she's ever done is helping at her dojo teaching the little kids. But she'd have been there afternoons, anyway. She's taken lessons since she was 4.

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Old 02-19-2019, 09:20 AM
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Do you think getting and keeping a job in adolescence is a critical life experience in modern society?
Part of me things having a job in high school now is more impactful than it was when I was a kid. I did work in high school, but interestingly most of my friends did not. So my jobs were a way to socialize with people I would otherwise not have. I get the feeling it's harder for kids today to socialize in the way that we did back in the 90s. And yes, there's the whole "responsibility" of a job, but for me personally those kinds of lessons weren't so profound. My parents didn't force me to get a job, but it was encouraged.

Those friends of mine who didn't work, they did play sports. Sports, or whatever other extracurricular activity, can be another distraction besides a job that would benefit the modern teenager.
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Old 02-19-2019, 09:21 AM
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I never worked a day in my life until I got my first job after college. No culture shock here. Pretty normal, all in all.
I don't think kids necessarily need to get a job during high school, but they should in college. I still keep tabs on the job market even though I'm fully employed and the great majority of full time professional jobs now require 3-5 years of experience for "entry level" positions. Kids get that by working internship and part time professional jobs DURING college. Those that graduate without doing any internships are having a lot of difficulty competing in the current job market.

Even worse, some companies are requiring college kids to have *prior internship experience* to get *an intern job*! When I was a kid we had the "need experience to get a job, but need a job to get experience" catch-22. The catch-22 is now pretty much a catch-44 for today's kids.
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Old 02-19-2019, 09:44 AM
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I'm pretty strongly in the "get a job" camp.

We required that all 3 of our kids get summer jobs as soon as they turned 16. Early jobs included shelver at local library, Dairy Queen, local public works dept. In retrospect, I think such experiences were just about as important as anything they learned in high school.

In our opinion, such work teaches many valuable life lessons, which are better learned before one begins one's post-school career, such as: the boss isn't always right, but is always the boss; responsible habits re: money; the importance of adhering to a schedule; having not-wonderful jobs shows the importance of positioning to get better work. Moreover, I'm not sure what they kids would be doing all summer if they weren't working. My kids, at least, wouldn't have been spending their time on wonderfully creative and charitable activities. Too many of our friends had teens/college students who stayed up all night, slept all day, and seemed to expect their parents to just support their extended leisurely childhood.

And my kids had had other, less formal gigs such as babysitting, mowing lawns, etc.

I think not having kids work contributes to the prolonged infantilization, which I perceive as too common. But of course, different kids respond best to different things.

My neighbors have 2 HS boys. They have had NO DIFFICULTY getting jobs - lifeguard at local pool, stocker at local grocery store, assisting a photographer of local youth athletic teams. Now KEEPING those jobs, the kids have had more difficulty with! But in my Chicago suburb, there is absolutely no impediment to a teen finding employment.
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Old 02-19-2019, 10:49 AM
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We didn't push our daughter to work; she was in college before she had a summer job (she often took classes in the summer). She is a perfectly fine worker -- conscientious and willing to do whatever is asked of her.,

So I'd say personality is a bigger factor.
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Old 02-19-2019, 11:03 AM
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In my experience-it depends.
Every child will benefit from learning to hold a job and do it well. But every child will pay a price for that experience. All of us do. We give up time that could be used in other ways. We suffer mental and physical trouble during our work. No one has a perfect job. Fortunately the trouble suffered by working is usually minor compared to benefits. And learning to cope with that trouble is a major reason for a young person to hold the job.

But it depends. A child with physical or mental issues may not be up to working. Or the work may cause significant damage. A child who would clearly benefit from working may benefit more from some other activity. Just as anyone would.

The decision in almost all cases is to try to have the child work. But be aware of the costs and balance the cost/benefit ratio. The answer is never always.
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Old 02-19-2019, 11:24 AM
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I think kids should learn what it is to earn money, especially if they want Mommy and Daddy to buy them something really pricey. When I wanted a better guitar, I saved for it. When I wanted my driver's license, I could only get it if I could pay my share of insurance and gas. When I wanted to go to college, I had to save and apply for scholarships.

My daughter got a job so she could get a phone... and pay for her insurance and gas... and (while in college) contribute towards her living expenses. Having to do crappy menial labor is a valuable life experience, IMHO, and no kid should be deprived of it.
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Old 02-19-2019, 11:35 AM
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I'm going to fall in the category of "disservice".

Not because I think that shitty jobs are character building, but rather because for most kids when I was in high school, that money they earned was usually their first *real* money that was substantial and that they generally had total control over, unless their parents were real control freaks and presumed to tell them how to spend the money they had worked for.

That's a powerful thing- earning money outside of rinky-dink $20 here, $10 there type money or maybe a total haul of $100-150 on Xmas or your birthday was an eye-opening thing for me. Not only did I make what I got from my grandparents for Xmas in one week, it was money that I had worked for. So it was a sum that I could actually spend on stuff beyond just snacks, movie tickets, etc... but it was also money that I was well aware of the amount of effort that went into it. Prior to that, I didn't have much- gift money and the occasional $10 or $20 I could wheedle out of my folks.

It more or less forced me to reevaluate my spending and saving habits in a positive way. That's what the real benefit is- it's an early, essentially risk-free start on proper financial behavior, assuming your parents don't subsidize you. You learn that blowing it all up front may be fun, but you don't really have anything left. Or you can save it up and buy something. Or a mix.

FYI, my first job was mowing a couple of lawns a week at $15 each. So $30/wk all summer long. Then my next job was as a janitor and busboy for about 3 hours @ $3.35/hr and another 3 at $2.01 + 1% of the total tips for the restaurant.
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Old 02-19-2019, 11:48 AM
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There are lots of ways to teach a work ethic to your children. My dad got me a job sweeping a sheet metal shop when I was 15 and then working as a mechanic's assistant in a rock quary when I was 16. After that though it became apparent that I could get an athletic scholarship to college and it was more important to attend camps and workout then it was to work. I was still spending 6-8 hours a day working on a schedule but not getting paid for it.

I think the rule my friends parents had was best. "I don't care what you're doing but you'll either get a job, be in a play or be on a sports team but you will not be laying around between 8 am and 5 pm." Playing video games and eating junk food with your friends doesn't help anyone but getting out and "working" is effective no matter what the work is.
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Old 02-19-2019, 12:14 PM
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I am betting the amount of hardship a teen has in acquiring a job depends a lot on their mobility. If they don't drive and don't have access to public transit (or don't avail themselves of it for whatever reason) and aren't located close to a bustling business district, then I can see how it would be very hard to get a job.

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Old 02-19-2019, 12:15 PM
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Dad's side of the clan everyone seems to want to work; I can't think of a person who was pushed into it although even today most start some kind of responsible job (as opposed to "chores") by 16 or so. I don't know if its genetic or environment but we just naturally gravitate that direction. Mothers side is the exact opposite and some are now starting a third generation basically on the public dole. I don't have much contact with them needless to say.
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Old 02-19-2019, 12:17 PM
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Lessons learned at work can far exceed lessons learned at school.
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Old 02-19-2019, 12:58 PM
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When I turned 15 it was expected that I would get a job. I wanted a job so I could have some degree of independence. It would have been a big disservice to me to not have had that experience. It helped me to learn responsibility and the value of money.
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Old 02-19-2019, 01:20 PM
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Sophia earned her first legitimate dollar at the age of 10 - she borrowed $50 from me and, going to Michaels (and other like stores), bought a bunch of stuff to make soaps and other lotions. I threw in $20... call it Paid In Capital... and bought labels and bottles, created a quick design for "Sophia's Scentsations™" branded products.

She made her soap, we packaged it, she went door-to-door, made $290, paid me back $52 (interest), and walked away with $248 for her upcoming trip to LA. I mean, people just threw money at her - "Here's $20, honey, and you just keep the change."

She then got a job @ Culver's, a fast food place within walking distance. Worked that for two years then decided in October to quit to focus on her studies - her grades have improved (well, from a 91 average to a 96) - but has been so thrifty that, even though she quit with $400 in the bank account, she still has $251 of it left.

Yesterday she decided to have a bake sale, so she spent $9 on ingredients and sold $46 of cupcakes and cookies in about 3 hours of effort (she literally just planted a table in our front yard, had a "Bake Sale" sign that she made, and sat there from 4:30-5:30pm, selling everything she had). When I pointed out to her that her "wage" was $13/hour, she said "well, better than Culver's, but I can do better next time." And she will.

In a number of ways, I'm not really that worried about my daughter - she's going to be just fine.

So, yes: Work as a child is important. Earning money as a child is important. Yes, it depends upon the child, but I can't think of many children to whom this would be a bad thing, but I'm sure they exist.
  #36  
Old 02-19-2019, 01:23 PM
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I turn 50 in April and I have two young daughters. For me, it seems I have always worked from a very young (too young?) age. In many ways this was simply an economic issue, we were poor growing up and any money I could make helped the household directly or indirectly. I don't regret it, it instilled core values in me that I still use today. I started delivering newspapers at 8 years old and by 13 I had multiple paper routes. We moved to another state at that time and I discovered most paper routes were held by adults. So I worked "under the table" at different restaurants as a dishwasher until I was legal to work with a student work permit at 16. From 16-18 I worked in a fast food restaurant with many of my school friends. My first office job was at 18 and today I work in technology for a large FinTech.

I realize that my experience growing up may not be my daughter's. When the time is right, I want her to work but certainly not at the age that I started. I also don't want her to feel like she has to work like I did. I really do not have the attitude that since I've done better in life that my kids shouldn't have to toil and work until after college. But I can't say now whether I'll push lightly or harder for them to work as teenagers.
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  #37  
Old 02-19-2019, 02:26 PM
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I never even thought about it. My oldest was told she could get a job when she finished high school. In my mind high school is a full-time job. She picked up work immediately after she finished high school, no problem. She was still a teen, but she was 18 and could make her own choices. My younger daughter has expressed an interest in a volunteer job when she turns 15 but that will only be during the summer. I would prefer she not work because I think high school years are the time you focus on education.

My opinion may be colored by the fact that I had to work when I was 14 to help my mom pay the bills and I hated it, but it had to be done. I was tired all the time, I was around adults who got me in to trouble, and I ended up dropping out thinking I was better off making five bucks an hour than finishing high school.

Last edited by Rushgeekgirl; 02-19-2019 at 02:27 PM.
  #38  
Old 02-19-2019, 02:31 PM
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I just wanted to add my daughters always had a way to earn extra money but it was coming from me or someone else in the family/friend circle. Neither ever got allowance, but they would babysit/dogsit/do extra work around the house not already on their chore list, etc. My roommate has always paid my younger daughter to do housework for his part of the house, but nothing they did distracted them from school work, especially with my youngest also needing therapy twice a week and school club activity. I don't know where she'd find the time for a job!
  #39  
Old 02-19-2019, 02:37 PM
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A couple of people have touched on this but what do kids do when they want money of their own and are discouraged from employment? And, apologies for sounding flippant here, but where do they get their vice money?
  #40  
Old 02-19-2019, 02:44 PM
you with the face is offline
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Having a job creates more opportunities than opportunity costs, IMO. So I can't see myself not encouraging my daughters to get jobs, especially during the summer.
  #41  
Old 02-19-2019, 03:05 PM
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I think it depends a lot on the kid and what they are doing. If they are active in two or three activities and taking an AP courseload, it isn't reasonable to expect them to take a job - my daughter had a job under that sort of load and had to quit it - the job would schedule her for too many hours over finals, would schedule her over rehearsal, and then tell her that her first responsibility was to the job. Her first responsibility was the full college prep course load she had of three AP courses and one college class. Her second responsibility was to the leadership commitments she made that made a difference in getting into the college of her choice. Her third responsibility was to show up for rehearsal for a role she committed to, and THEN came the job. Her Summers were filled with more college coursework and volunteer work for Girl Scouts.

Now, my son almost always had two jobs - but he stopped playing baseball after his Sophomore year and didn't take college prep coursework. He had plenty of time to work.

My kids got an allowance.
  #42  
Old 02-19-2019, 03:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by monstro View Post
I am betting the amount of hardship a teen has in acquiring a job depends a lot on their mobility. If they don't drive and don't have access to public transit (or don't avail themselves of it for whatever reason) and aren't located close to a bustling business district, then I can see how it would be very hard to get a job.

Sent from my SPH-L710 using Tapatalk

Yeah, I lived three miles from the nearest town that had more than a church, a bar and a gas station (it had a grocery store and a feed store - and more bars and churches and gas stations.) I got a drivers license at seventeen, but didn't own a car until after I graduated from high school. There was zero opportunity for me to have a job that didn't involve babysitting or mowing lawns (which I did some of - although that market was pretty saturated).

My kids shared a car through high school - so my daughter seldom had it when my son was working. And with no public transportation - the nearest employment being two miles away, and Minnesota Winters being a bear, she was limited to what other people could drive her to. Carpools for rehearsals were easy to set up - a job would have been difficult while her parents worked full time.
  #43  
Old 02-19-2019, 04:05 PM
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I had no way to get any money at all without working (never got an allowance, but still had to do a ton of chores). I started babysitting at 11 1/2 -- with no childcare experience! -- and did that until I got a job at the local library at 16. I did work at the concession stand when P.O.P. was auctioned off, but that was a one-off. I kept my library job through college and paid for college 100% myself. Fortunately, one of the Asst. Librarians was big on education, so I was able to work almost full-time in the summers.

I still had time to socialize, party, etc. I don't feel I missed anything by working, but I gained a LOT.
  #44  
Old 02-19-2019, 04:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kenobi 65 View Post
I think that it is probably at least a bit of a disservice to the kid.

My nephew is a college freshman; by all accounts, he's doing very well in school -- he made the honor roll in his first semester, and he seems to be finally coming out of his shell socially.

But...he's never worked a day in his life, and, as far as I can tell, his parents never even brought up the topic. I do wonder about the culture shock he's going to undergo when he does get that first job.

I'll also note that my nephew shares a lot of his personality, and his smarts, with his father (my brother-in-law), who is, to be charitable, not a great employee. My brother-in-law is a very smart guy, but he is also pretty pompous about his smarts, and has real issues with hiding his clear disgust for managers and colleagues whom he thinks are beneath him. As a result, his career (he's a senior IT guy) has consisted of bouncing from job to job, once he wears out his welcome. So, I can foresee some real issues for my nephew the first time he has to deal with doing crap work, or with an idiot for a boss.
I think that's a personality issue rather a first job issue. As your brother-in-law is long past the first job culture shock, and he's still pompous employee.
  #45  
Old 02-19-2019, 06:48 PM
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If they want to get a job, fine. It'll be good for them. But don't pressure them if they don't want to. You don't want to give them a reason to hate you when they find out how much working sucks.
  #46  
Old 02-19-2019, 07:07 PM
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My dad made more money in the first two weeks after college than he had in all his work before then. He thought you should put all your time into study. My mother worked as a waitress during college. She swore that no daughter of hers would have to put up with groping from the customers and heavy passes from the management.

I am a product of their effort. I think that they were wrong.
  #47  
Old 02-19-2019, 07:25 PM
Eva Luna is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dangerosa View Post
I think it depends a lot on the kid and what they are doing. If they are active in two or three activities and taking an AP courseload, it isn't reasonable to expect them to take a job - my daughter had a job under that sort of load and had to quit it - the job would schedule her for too many hours over finals, would schedule her over rehearsal, and then tell her that her first responsibility was to the job. Her first responsibility was the full college prep course load she had of three AP courses and one college class. Her second responsibility was to the leadership commitments she made that made a difference in getting into the college of her choice. Her third responsibility was to show up for rehearsal for a role she committed to, and THEN came the job. Her Summers were filled with more college coursework and volunteer work for Girl Scouts.
Yeah, I quit the first non-babysitting job that I had during the school year (Baskin-Robbins, one of the few places in town that would hire 16-year-olds) because I told the manager that I couldn't work more than 2 - 3 hours on school nights, starting at 4 pm at the earliest, and he kept scheduling me from 3 - 10 plus cleanup (so a full-time work shift, which isn't even legal for a 16-year-old, either in terms of number of hours worked or the time of day). That on top of 6 honors and AP classes, a couple of school music groups, and the occasional babysitting job just wasn't going to work.

The last straw was when he was short-handed and scheduled me to work alone from 4 - 7 on a weeknight, and when my relief hadn't shown up by 8, I called him and told him that I had a ton of homework to do and I was locking up the store and going home. He begged me to stay until he could get there, but that was going to be another hour and I had enough homework to keep me up well past midnight as it was. And it wasn't the first time this had happened by a long shot.

If only I could go back in time and report him to the state labor department for all the other illegal stuff he did, like scheduling people to be "on call," which meant that we were expected to hang around at home in case it got busy and we were needed. For free. In 1984, before cell phones.
  #48  
Old 02-19-2019, 07:25 PM
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Parents should be teaching kids that work is good but jobs are bad. They should be teaching kids that jobs are economic traps set by capitalists to ensare the fruits of their lifetime of labor and effort. They should be influencing their children to press for exploration for more sophisticated ways to organize an economy than the one in place which victimizes the majority to enrich a thin minority. Jobs are what they use to trap you for life.
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  #49  
Old 02-19-2019, 10:45 PM
China Guy is offline
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My eldest was a greeter in a restaurant on weekends for about 6 months. It was more a favor to a friend of the family that needed help. That said, I think it's pretty valuable for everyone to have had a food service job for a few months. Also, it can help teach kids the value of money that nothing else will. Caveat, I started as a dishwasher in a Chinese restaurant at 15, and gradually worked my way up the food chain until finally landing a professional entry level investment banker job after getting an MBA (to then compete with 22 year old silver spoon prep school kids for the next rung up the ladder).

The amount of income my kid earned was trivial, and I wasn't about to let it get in the way of the HUGE upper middle class investment I've made in paving the way for her success in life, but I do think it was a really good life experience.
  #50  
Old 02-19-2019, 10:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Red Wiggler View Post
A couple of people have touched on this but what do kids do when they want money of their own and are discouraged from employment? And, apologies for sounding flippant here, but where do they get their vice money?
From what I've seen its basically "ask your dad". Again, just from personal experience, I would say that the kids in those families aren't discouraged from employment; more that they aren't encouraged. So you cadge a few bucks for smokes, pocket some change from a trip to the store for the movies. Or skim a fiver off the dresser if it sits too long. Use your allowance, if you have one, to cover your vices. Kids will find a way.

Working would be easier from what I've seen.
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