Exquisite rant. But I confess that I will now have to go try this delightful beverage, because that’s the way I am.
(bolding mine)
I do, every chance I get. 
You had better be packing some diet soft drinks Mister or Missus, whatever the case may be!
Timely rant. I got home today and found this in the fridge - ElzaHub bought some by mistake today, thinking it was like regular Dr. Pepper Black Cherry Vanilla, not realizing it was a diet drink (which he won’t drink). So the bottle is unopened in the fridge and now I’m tempted to go get it and take a few sips.
Even after reading your rant. It’s like needing to try and touch a hot griddle when you KNOW it’s hot and it’ll burn you.
E.
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!!!
Goddammit, I can’t do it with beer, I might as well do it with crappy soda.
Son of a bitch, it tastes like bubble gum. Sugarless, crappy bubble gum that’s been on the shelves for six years. That was nasty. Seriously nasty.
ElzaHub said “I’ve just tasted terrorism.”
E.
It’s alright, Elza. You did it for Science and the, uh, Enforwarding of Mankind.
Mister, and we have some wonderful diet soda in the UK, good and bad.
Actually, I did it because I just have no willpower.
E.
Ace-K is a sweetener that works synergistically with aspartame. Most people, if I recall correctly, think the combination flavor is closer to sugar than either alone. The pair is also used in Coke Zero.
Great Rant. 
However, now I have to try this shit. Damn.
Is it worse than Diet Jolt?
Dammit…and I avoided drinking anything throughout the OP, so as to avoid spewing it out my nose!
Damn, I wish I’d thought of that one.
I’ll take one.
Hope you like the “dingle” variety of “razz” berries.
raises his hand I could use a drink and a rim-job if you’re offering.
Yeah, does the offer include hubcaps, because I’m in the marker for those fun spinny ones?
Euthanasiast, you use your tongue purtier than a twenty dollar whore!
How is it that after many months on this board, I STILL have not learned to keep drinks away from my mouth while reading absolutely brilliant rants such as Euthanasiast’s. How?
Don’t worry, the coffee cleaned up just fine.
It’s threads like this that remind me that SD is a veritable bargain!
I will have to try this swill now, though. Curse you!
Good, but definitely not his best.
Euth, good to see you ranting again, tell us more about the ‘drunken bitch’!