What diameter of PVC pipe would I use to make a dachshund launcher?
Well, our dachshunds are pretty aerodynamic. Lying down, their legs tuck underneath such that they almost can’t be seen. And they have long, pointy noses. On the other hand, their nostrils (no different from other dogs) are right on the front of their noses, which I’d think catch in the air. Also, their ears stick out pretty far from their head; they won’t stick their heads out the car window because they flap around so much.
At any rate, hold on a sec…
** Tosses book from my desk onto the couch. **
** Tosses compact disk from my desk onto the couch. **
** Tosses male dachshund from my lap onto the couch. **
** Tosses female dachshund from my lap onto the couch. **
Well, the male flies better than the female (most likely due to it’s larger chest and hence more tapered backside), but neither is very graceful in mid-air. Both fly better than the book, which is now in pieces, as they felt the need to “kill it” while returning it to me. The CD, however, flew better than all of them, ending up behind the couch (that’s one reason I never played football).
Thus, I can definitively say that testing the aerodynamicity of dachshunds results in the inability to listen to Eminem or read The 47 Ronin. 
I think debating which is the most aerodynamic bred of dog is kind of like discussing which is the most loyal breed of cat; of academic interest only.
That said, I think the Jack Russel terrier has far better laminal flow than a dachshund.
Google “ashley whippet” - the greatest frisbee dog that ever lived. Basically, the Michael Jordan of the canine set.
That dog could fly on her own - no cannon needed. Great dog.
I’m still holding out for greyhound or whippet. I think the added width of dachshund legs relative to the body work against the breed.
Surprisingly, a good 5 minutes of googling turns up no authoritative papers on the subject of dog aerodynamics. Disappointing that there’s nothing in the literature.
Though look here.
The third dog from the left is clearly getting in a very aerodynamic position during extension.
As a late addition, don’t forget that a greyhounds ears will fold back onto its head almost perfectly while running. This removes that pesky ‘earodynamic resistance’ that curses other breeds.
Actually, a hole in the center of the nose has very little effect on aerodynamics. IIRC it’s the optimal position for an air intake.
You’re probably right about the ears though. Smaller ears would be better, especially if they can be folded down (back) to minimize air resistance.
While true, I just tested this. There seems to be some sort of blockage that prevents airflow out the back end. There was a small, sudden puff that doesn’t seem related though, as I wasn’t even blowing in Howzit’s (that’s the male dog) nostrils at the time. 
The vet can attest to the fact that it doesn’t work from the back to the front end either.
Having the air inlet at the oint of the nose has some advantages. At high speeds, the air will be forced into the weiner dog lungs, acting somewhat like a supercharger. Now if you could get the weiner dog to empty his lungs into his stomach, as the air passed through the digestive track, you could get a ram jet effect if you follow my drift. If you can’t teach your weiner dog to breathe like that, a similar effect could be had by putting the weiner dog on a Mexican food diet. :eek:
<semi-hijack>Out of curiosity, are greyhounds the fastest breed of dog, on average? I was poking around for some information on salukis the other day for a story that I’m working on, and apparently salukis can and do run down desert gazelles very nicely. They don’t seem to be a well-known breed, however…</hijack>
A family friend had an obese wiener dog, so the vet told him to take it for a walk every evening after work.
So the fellow dutifully picked up the dog and carried it around the block every evening after work.
In the stuff I’ve seen Greyhounds are the fastest dog breed. Like Salukis they were used (it’s unknown if they were bred for it as the breed is goes back into the BC era) to bring down gazelle and such in Egypt.
The only two animals I’ve been told are faster are the cheetah and some form of deer/antelope.
FTR, the current record for a greyhound approaches 45 mph.
Hmm. I don’t really think crap is fast or jumpy. I’m actually very glad about that. 
-Tofer