[ralph wiggum]…and that’s where I saw the jarbabyj. She told me to burn things![/ralph wiggum]
Did Billy Joel start the fire?
When in the bathtub, do you drip hot wax into the water, watch it solidify, then pick it out and feed it back to the candle?
I do. It’s fun. It sizzles.
“The very fact the flamethrower exists means someone once thought, 'You know I’d really like to set those people on fire but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.” George Carlin.
What is your favorite oxidizer? Do you prefer double-whammys like the nitrates that add color or are you a chlorate chick?
“If only I had something that would throw flame on them.”
Oh…a question?
Should I be concerned that the image of jarbabyj in a bathtub surrounded by burning candles will now stay with me for days? This is a good thing, right?
omigawdomigawd it’s ANOTHER pyromaniac! LOUD cheer
fellow pyromaniac, have you ever dipped little strips of cloth into wax (“waxed” 'em, so to speak) and set them on fire (holding them with tongs or scissors)? it makes a huge, long-lasting flame…
and have you ever built a fire out in the woods somewhere and doused the outside rim with gasoline?
and have you ever lit a plastic fork on fire?
(i’ve tried all of these, with rather satisfactory results… evil giggle)
Wow! Thanks Pyromaniac Girl! (Like you’re a superhero or something. Spandex bodysuit and a flowing cape and cascading locks of raven black hair… I’m sorry I got distracted there.)
You’ve changed my life! I see everything in a whole new light. From this day forward I dedicate my life to following your Wise Teachings.
But is there always room for Jell-O™?
-Rue.
there’s always room for jell-o, but only if you use it as a support matrix for homebrew explosives.
What REALLY happens when you burn the candle at both ends?
Okay, not a question, but a great time I had watching a fire once …
We were putting together the fixins for a big bonfire out in the woods behind a friends house, old pallets, pieces of trees, the works. The guy in charge decides that some good old gasoline is the way to really getting this fire going, so he pours a gallon or so all over the wood, and tosses in a match.
At this point you’re all probably expecting something akin to an explosion, right? Wrong.
Apparently fumes from the gasoline had wafted out from the central pile, drifting along the ground. When he tossed in the match, the wood and gasoline caught, but so did the fumes. Outward from the pile of wood spread a burning carpet of flame, 15-20 feet in every direction, glowing with that deep blue low energy fire. It spread out before anybody could react, rushing past our feet and into the surrounding trees.
And just as quickly, it was gone. It was beautiful.
Is it fair to assume that she was going to sing Light My Fire?
Well, I’ll tell you, but only because you said neato-jet.
Step 1: Buy 50 sparklers.
Step 2: Put them all together facing the same direction and leave one in the middle sticking out about an inch farther than the others.
Step 3: Squeeze them together as tightly as you can while someone wraps them completely in masking tape. The best way to go about doing this is, do both ends first, three loops around as tight as possible, then do the middle and work out from there. Three loops every time. And the important part is that they be extremely tight.
Step 4: Make sure to wrap both ends but leave the one sparkler sticking out a bit.
Step 5: Go someplace very secluded and very open… a farm?
Step 6: Light the sparkler that’s sticking out.
Step 7: When that sparkler lights up… run the fuck away as fast as you possibly can… with one inch you have about 20 seconds.
Step 8: Enjoy the subsequent explosion. If you did it right, you’ll blow a half foot hole in the ground.
Or… you could just buy some dynamite.
[share]
My butt has a pilot light.
[/share]
Well, gee, another fire lover! During my childhood in rural Illinois, every fall my family would gather up all the dead leaves and burn them in an old steel barrel. We’d also burn the old phone books in there. This was in the early '70s. Once I was in my own place, I could light objects on the stove whenver I pleased. Things like empty toilet paper rolls or the box left over when I open a new bar of soap. I also had some barly used emergency flares that I had found one day; I’d light them in the sink. And I recently discovered that Angie likes the smell of a freshly snuffed match or candle.
Well well! Thank you all for your questions. And I’m glad that I could be of some assistance. Let me try to address some points.
First, plnnr:
You ruin the 350 year old buffet table that your mother bought you as a wedding present. I advise against it.
tansu:
Yes I do. I like to do this with red and green candles at Christmastime for a holiday feel. I also coat my fingertips with hot wax, let it cool and then melt it away over the flame.
I…I…I…next question!
And now, Munch…you need my help, that’s clear.
Get yourself a bottle of Ouzo. Pile the assorted wedding pictures, priceless heirlooms, used condoms and window scrapers in the parking lot.
Take your pants off.
Pour the Ouzo on the pile, smoke a Menthol Kool and then throw the butt of it on the pile.
Dance naked around your masterpiece.
I don’t know what the DEAL is, but I know the solution is to apply hot wax to the pubic area, rip off all the hair, dip your genitalia into a steaming bath and wash thoroughly.
Then…set all of your clothes on fire and start over.
Gross, disturbing AND good clean fun. for safe measure, set her family on fire.
jar