It’s in the post. Enjoy. My sons are my cite.
Hrmmmm - having checked locations you might be the better bet.
Can you get here before 2pm?
Maybe a new rumour’s started that you’re gay? ( 
)
Two alternate reasons:
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Office gossip says you are about to be fired. They are being nice to you out of sympathy.
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Office gossip says you are about to have an enorous promotion. They are being nice out of a desire to ride your coattails up.
Okay, okay, I’ll fess up.
Having read about how your girlfriend broke up with you on Valentine’s Day, I felt sorry for you, and I started a rumor at your work that you have an enormous penis.
You’re welcome!
Excuse me, what? Sorry, I was a little distracted.
I was talking about the babes in my department, cardiac surgery. But I just went to a meeting with some bariatric surgery people. When I got on the elevator to go up there, there was this AMAZING babe. Instead of the usual looking at the floor or the wall or whatever, she introduced herself to me. “Hi, I’m Jenn, and I want to get naked with you.” That’s what I heard, anyway. What she actually said might have been something about how she was going to the same meeting.
So I arrived, and Jenn and I were joined by Dorothy, Kerri, and Barbara. Folks, let me tell you something about the women that work in the field of bariatric surgery. YUM! Not a bum in the lot. The only notes I took in the meeting were “nice tits.” I filled a whole page that way.
I need a cold shower.
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!
That’s an interesting hypothesis, but I think I can falsify it. There are certain women from whom I’m always looking for signals. So much so that I sometimes find them where they don’t exist.
If the desired one is male, a clue-by-four is often appropriate. Apply liberally to …uh, gain his attention.
I find that, it’s not so much what the woman does as whether or not there’s boom-chika-wow-wow music going in the background that’s the real giveaway.
How could you tell? Everyone listens to a different personal soundtrack on their iPod these days.
Piffle. So long as we go through the motions, I don’t care WHAT you want. Genetics, schmetics, when does the mating start?
Oh, it’s out, babe. It’s out.
Actually, I’m at work right now. So it’s in. Wanna meet at, say, six-ish?
Damn! Ok - I’ll take **LOUNE **then.
Thanks.
I don’t wanna breed anymore. They can try me again next week or so. 
I’ve been single since August, and I’m soooo jealous! Instead of cute women at work, I get the Thaizmanian Devil.
Wow, that pun was bad. Can I get sympathy sex too for being unfunny?
Yeah, well, I’ve been single since 1985! It’s only slightly less depressing when you consider I was born that year.
And there are no girls where I work.
So stop bitching
Until you reveal your age, then you garner no sympathy from me “maam”
Heh, I didn’t realize my “And there are no girls where I work” comment could be another way. I’m a guy.
And I think you can derive my age from the cited birth year 