I’m more worried about her personality, as others have said. It’s far more disgusting to hit up someone in the hospital for money, than to get intimate with someone that far away from you in the family tree.
I don’t even know who most of my second cousins are. Some of them live in Poland. (I’d find it a bit weird to date any of the ones I do know, especially since most of them are significantly older or younger than I am, but second cousin really isn’t all that close a relationship.)
Of course, it sounds like dating this specific person would be a bad idea regardless of the relationship, but that’s a different issue altogether.
I checked on Wikipedia because I’d always been confused on what cousins were considered what. I now know I have two sets of second cousins. One I haven’t seen in over a decade and live 1500 miles away. I actually did have a crush on one of them for a awhile growing up but I’m pretty sure I’m over that one by now.
The other set live near us and we see at most every family event. Besides the fact that they’re 13 and 15…no, no I don’t think I’d be attracted to them. And, even age issues aside, I guarantee it would oog the entire family out to date one.
So my opinion is that while there’s nothing legally, morally, or ethically wrong with doing it, I wouldn’t and I’d probably look askew at anyone who did.
I always forget exactly what second cousins are, but I’m pretty sure I couldn’t name any of mine.
Whether or not we feel a sibling connection seems to have more to do with our respective ages and the age at which we see our caregivers care for them than any genetic relationship. I’ve got male friends of the family who I would be all sorts of oogied to kiss romantically, because my mom was their baby sitter when we we under the age of 6. After that, it’s less oogy and more possible. IIRC, that’s the same age that Israel kibbutzim studies have revealed: see your caregiver care for someone else before you’re both in kindergarten and they’re forever your sibling at heart.
So if the age difference between you and your brother is great enough, or if you girls hung out as young kids more than he hung out with her, that could be why she feels like a sibling to you but not to him.
But what I’m hearing sounds more like you just don’t like her because she’s a manipulative bitch, and you care about your brother. That’s cool, but as you know, interfering in a case like this is most likely to make you the bad guy.
WhyNot,
daughter of first cousins (by marriage)
I wouldn’t cut them out of the family, but yea, it’s gross.
Basically, I agree with this:
With all due respect, this sounds like a personal problem. Kind of like people getting “Icked out” by gay couples. Debatably not the same thing but definitely the same animus.
Nothing wrong with being icked; you can’t help that. I would only hope you keep it to yourself.
This, of course, setting all “Manipulative Bitch” issues aside.
Beside all that; Isn’t love all ready hard enough to find in this world? I say be happy for him.
I don’t think that’s accurate when you’re describing cousins across generations. I have a first cousin who shares a set of grandparents with me. His kids are also my first cousins, once removed. My grandparents are their great-grandparents.
Dosn’t matter. IMO. A second cousin is not that near.
OK, that’s genetically equivalent to half-siblings, which is (on average) too close. It’s good that in this case their kids are fine, but they took a risk.
Second cousins, though, are only 1/32 consanguinity. Since humans only have 23 chromosome pairs, that means that there’s a pretty good chance that these two don’t even have any chromosomes in common at all, and are effectively unrelated, genetically. If they’re especially worried, or there are any genetic diseases known to run in your family, they might be well-advised to get genetic testing, but beyond that, I see no oog factor.
Hypothetical:
Let’s say you’ve known a couple for X number of years. Great friends of yours, etc. One day, they admit to you they are cousins. (suppose the question didn’t come up, whatever) Would your opinion of them change, and if so, why?
Doesn’t bother me, but I don’t know any of my second cousins. (I’ve met a few, but I don’t know any names.)
You know of course that Abraham married his sister Sarah, a man upon whom great blessings were given.
Second cousins is no biggie to me.
Are any of these “inside” relationships actually illegal? I mean, if everyone’s of age, can anyone end up in jail, brother/sister, cousins, uncle/niece or even parent/child?
I think second cousin’s a little close if you grew up together. Of course, I once saw a picture of a really hot girl, and started to ask my mom about her, could she introduce me…she told me it was my first cousin. Of course I hadn’t seen her in better than a decade.
My question is, is it wrong that I’m dating my little brother’s ex-wife? They weren’t married long and I didn’t even meet her until after the divorce, but I wonder what the rest of the world thinks. There’s the fact that he hasn’t seen her or his son in a year, and he’s usually high when he remembers to call that somehow works in there.
I married my son’s father’s sister’s husband. Everyone’s cool with it.
Yes they are illegal in some cases but it mainly has to do with a marriage license. I don’t think you would go to jail except maybe in the parent/child relationship. My home state of Louisiana had to pass a bill to allow two first cousins to marry but with the stipulation that they had to be past reproductive age to marry which they were. I am pretty sure there are similar laws in a few other states.
I had a notable sociology professor that told us that sexual interactions between siblings are way more common than acknowledged. If both parties are of age and they don’t wish to get married, I think the standard laws apply except maybe for the parent/child relationship.
How big of a risk of genetic problems is there in first cousins having kids if there hasn’t been that much previous consanguinity in their family?
I ask because I seem to remember reading that it does something like double the risk, but the risk isn’t terribly big to begin with (though it’s not infinitesimal). I’m definitely not certain that I got this fact right, I don’t even remember where I read it.
This might be a topic for another thread, and the thing is only half formed in my mind anyway, but: I notice that in these kinds of debates, the SDMB consensus always seems to revolve around whether things are peachy or near-peachy in individual circumstances, and utterly disregards the potential cumulative impact on society.
So I’d ask a corresponding question: even if you and your cuz (or your sibling) probably won’t see any genetic abnormalities in your offspring, should that make any difference to public policy that presumably considers society-wide impacts over the long term?