ssnnniiiffffff
Mmm… I’m getting straw, I’m getting leather, I’m getting damp hair, I’m getting pseudoscience… with a top note of hot steamy horsepucky.
Well, OK, maybe. Salt starts with a toxic chemical and adds another toxic chemical, too. I wonder if they’re concerned about that.
Ah, but if you stand on your head, the pungent cells of bullshit are shifted 180 degrees out of phase, and no longer resonate with the cells of your brain. Eventually the odor disappears and you can understand how the rotation of a wine glass matters.
You can actually deal with this problem by not swirling. If you wish to release the aroma, simply place a straw in the wine and blow some bubbles. Then sniff deeply. If you inhale a bubble, so much the better. Works fine in both hemispheres, and for left-handed people, too.
I am so bringing a bendy-straw next time I go to France.
I find that article regal and pretentious, and lacking in legs as well as body.
I contacted the author of the article, Lahni de Amicis, and was very surprised to receive a prompt, courteous, and detailed response. I thanked her and requested permission to post her response but did not receive any response to that request, so I will paraphrase key points rather than posting her email wholesale.
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She’s very earnest. This was clearly not intended to be a joke. My bad.
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She admitted that using the term “wine cell” is an error. I don’t know why she pointed this out; I did not mention it. I did say that I was engaged on a discussion board but did not mention which one. She said someone rudely took exception to this claim; I have no idea if she googled herself and found this thread along with the comment in post #3, or was referring to some other uncited remark.
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However, she said that the correct term would be molecule or atom.
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She described how everything has polarity, down to the “atomic level,” and in a liquid they rotate about the pole.
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She related this as “basic physics.”
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She has done informal trials and found that her more olfactorily gifted clients can tell the difference.
Who are coincidentally also True Scotsmen, one and all.
But doesn’t the “water cell” hogwash involve clusters rather than everything sticking to everything, which is what actually happens?
I hate when my wine sticks together in little chunks. I must be holding the bottle wrong. Which direction am I supposed to face when I (uh) sip from a liter bottle of Cabernet?
Well, there’s your problem. Wine bottles are 0.75 liters. You must be drinking Coke.
Hang on… so based on the followup article: Wine Swirling Direction Part II:
The author is stating that the direction of wine swirling “unwinds” the molecular structure (or possibly atomic structure :eek:) of the wine?!
Seriously?
So… logically… in the best case if I swirl my wine in the recommended direction it’ll separate into hydrogen and oxygen and dissipate?! And in the worst case its atomic structure will unravel?! Holy crap…
And if Einstein is correct, that means… oh god! Someone get on the horn with Washington!
Omar Khayyam (by way of Edward Fitzgerald) might conclude that these folks are skipping the selling and buying routines altogether, and just heading straight for the casks every morning.
I wonder what Mr. de Amicis thinks a wine atom is?
I think scientificaly rigorous testing of various methods of sniffing, swirling, and drinking wine poses a real problem. The more you study, the harder it is to keep your rigor. The second bottle of wine always tastes better, anyway.
Tris
Supine, the ceiling.
Well, on the bright-side it could mean an end to world energy issues… but conversely it would also mean that a malcontent armed with a cement truck full of second grade cabernet could take out the eastern seaboard. 
From that link:
Comedy gold. I can’t wait until he covers drinking Pinot Noirs which have first been swirled into a Bose-Einstein condensate.
HAH! What a hoot, this was awesome.
{MD 20/20 weapon of massively drunk destruction of choice for winos and terrorists everywhere}
Wish I’d looked at this earlier.
I presume you mean Champagne.