It sounds like she does have the right to keep her kids home from school without telling them why, at least in moderation. The truancy squad isn’t coming out to crack her skull open or anything.
And it also sounds like the school has a right to not extend special privileges without a good reason. (Whatever an excuse brings. In my school it would have been the ability to make up work.)
You’re allowed 5(?) unexcused absences per semester. I wasn’t really worried about it as that was the only one he got all year.
I wonder what the graduation rate was in “olden times” when there were not all these really specific laws.
Doesn’t really matter, because in “olden times” if a 10 year old didn’t want to go to school, or a migrant farming family wasn’t able to stay in one place long enough for their kids to attend, or you had a “hands on” kid who wasn’t interested in it, or a girl had to stay home and take care of her mother and new baby sibling, there were employment opportunities (or marriage for the girls) out there for them that didn’t care about their level of schooling.
Now? Just about everywhere you could work requires a high school degree or a GED. Vastly different world now.
If its an occasional absence and there’s a note, the reason is none of the school’s business why.
Only when it becomes regular or more than normal or causes other problems, then the school can start asking.
I just consider it common courtesy to tell them why the kid is out for school. It’s like me calling into work - I’m not going to call into work and tell them it’s none of their damn business why I’ve decided not to come today. Seems to me school falls into the same sort of category. If you’re not going to be where you’re supposed to be, you should tell someone and you should tell them why.
Plus, after a certain point, it is the school’s business. And I think that responding to such a simple request with, “How dare you undermine my authority!” is ridiculous.
Maybe the school has decided that “regular” or “more than normal” is triggered that first time. Absence from school isn’t normal - normal is being in school every day. Absence happens but yeah if your kid stays home you should be willing to pony up with a reason so the school can check their little checky boxes.
Really? Because I have seven personal days a year and “I’m taking a personal day” is all the explanation I’m required or even asked to give.
Oh, come on. A random missed day here or there is not going to result in low grades and the community college doom for an otherwise good student. This is just as silly and overblown as the “how dare you even ask” crowd.
Look, I missed school from time to time… sometimes even when I wasn’t sick. Sometimes to go on vacation, or to visit with family that was only in town for a day, or because whyever. I was responsible for my own education and my grades did not suffer. And it’s profoundly silly that we had to pretend we had family emergencies or illnesses instead of just saying, “he won’t be in today, thank you.”
If a pattern develops or if the student’s grades suffer, then investigation and possibly intervention are necessary. If not, the whole thing is a silly dance that benefits literally no one - not the student, not the parent, and not even the school.
No, my point was actually that I suspect a greater percent of students graduated back in the day before all these laws were passed. But I guess this is kind of getting away from the specific topic, so I’ll end my hijack.
Hey, respect my authoriah!! Seriously the attitude displayed by the teachers in this thread is exactly why parents get “all uppity” at things like this. I love how Scumpup insinuates that you can either blindly follow school rules with Nazi like obedience, never asking questions, or go get homeschooled like the slack jawed yokel you obviously are.
There are good reasons schools want reasons for absences. If you choose to have your child attend public school you need to be prepared to deal with these sorts of unyieldng rules. There are often very good reasons behind the rules, though the enforcement of the rules if often made rigid to the point of being irrational and inhuman. But that’s what you get with massive beurocracies. Considering how massive our system of public education is, it does a damn fine job of managing the red tape. That doesn’t mean patents shouldn’t ask questions and push for answers when things like this come up.
I am a public school teacher btw. My kids are enrolled in private school.
After further research, I am totally wrong about this funding thing, at least here in CA. They only get money for attendance as of 1998. Excused vs. unexcused absences has to do with truancy and whether they can make up the work.
Good LORD! I didn’t realize the mother discussed in the OP was required to turn in a notarized 20 page dissertation on the details of her child’s absence. (In triplicate no doubt!)
We’re talking about a simple question: “Why did your kid miss school?” I’m even willing to bet that there were only a few implements of torture involved in the interrogation process.
But you make a good point. If you don’t like public school, send you kid somewhere else (and preferably not on tax payer dollars).
On a perhaps related note, try telling the school when your kid turns 18 that she can write her own absence and permission notes. They didn’t like that at all.
I remember that day well. Soon after I turned 18 I submitted a note. It said please excuse “blah blah” - he was sick. They asked if it was me that wrote it - I said yes (guess they though my father could have had the same name). They didn’t want to take it, but I took out that damn manual they gave us every year - showed them i was over 18 - and they took it.
Point is - yes - I was a smart ass, but I still turned in the note (as required - listing a valid excuse - as required). The rules apply to everyone. All they want is a (valid) reason. Parents don’t own their kids. We live in a society. This isn’t even a particularly hard rule. I know of a parent that their reason was “I wanted to take my daughter out for the day”. Sorry - that isn’t a good reason - and someone has to create some sense of order - even if it is easy to lie and get around. Taxpayers have a right to SOME accountability when we are paying for the education (and I am not complaining about paying).
Happened to my daughter this year.
They didn’t like it one bit.
I laughed.
I have no idea what the rules are now, but when I was in high school (I was NOT an absentee problem, at all) I had a family counseling/therapy appointment. Dad sent me to school with a note* that I was to give to the school dude in charge of tracking the absent kids. If your parents didn’t call, then after attendance was taken, they’d call down the list of all the unexcused kids and try to reach the parents to verify the parents knew the kid was out. If you showed up late, or when you showed up after your absence, he’d give you a pass, without which the teachers wouldn’t let you back into their classrooms. This guy was a real jerk and I really didn’t think it was any of his goddamned business what kind of appointment I had. Dad sent the note and that should have been enough (It read, “please excuse Dogzilla at 1:00 for an appointment.”). When the dude queried me as to what kind of appointment, I told him I had to go to the doctor for STD testing. 
He wrote my pass without another word. When I got home, I told my dad what I’d told the school guy. My dad laughed his ass off and even brought this up a few weeks ago with a chuckle.
Funny, there’s more stigma associated with getting psychological help than there is for potentially having an STD.
The school and I work together to keep track of my kids. If they have to do something out of the ordinary that affects one of them then I expect a clear reason. If one of my kids needs to do something out of the ordinary I don’t mind giving a reason because we, the school and I, are working together toward the same goal. If I really thought they were over the line I wouldn’t mind in the least telling whatever lie I felt like.
The OPs friend should tell the school whatever lie he wants. It’s not like the “doctor’s note police” will show up to check.
Do they not let parents pull their kids out for things like vacations anymore?
When I was in school, my parents just filled out an “educational trip” form anytime they pulled us out for something, and it was always approved.
I don’t understand why schoolkids don’t get a certain number of “vacation days,” anyway. They’re kids, you’d think they’d need more of a break than employed adults do.
I was amazed one day when I had to bring my daughter to her elementary school half and hour late (orthodontist appointment) to see a line at the front office. There were a lot of kids signing in at the office before going to class (require if you are late) and this is how the conversation with the school secretary went with most of them, “Why are you late Brian?” “I overslept.” “That’s the third time this week Brian, please try to get to school on time.”
Almost all of the kids said they overslept or their parent overslept. And it was also clear that this was a very common thing for many of these kids. I was surprised at how many parents just didn’t care enough do make the kids get to their elementary school on time.
And my school always asks why they are going to be late or absent. It never occured to me to be offended or not want to answer. Further, they ask their general symptoms, they just want to know if it’s lice or a cold or a stomach ache. And I’m glad they do so I can be informed if pink eye is going around or if a lot of kids are out with the flu.
They do. They get months off in the summer and weeks off for Christmas. They get plenty of breaks. My kids have to attend school 180 days a year. That’s fewer than half of the days out of a year.
As for pulling kids out of school for trips, yes it’s allowed. You just tell the office ahead of time and it counts as an unexcused absence.