From the incredibly bad Tough Guys Don’t Dance: “Oh God…Oh man…Oh God…Oh man…Oh God…Oh man…Oh God…Oh man…Oh God!”
No, no, no. The great quote from UHF is:
“Badgers? We don’t need no stinking badgers!” (Although I don’t think UHF qualifies as a bad movie.)
My own contribution: from the worst film Pete Postlethwaite or Rachel Griffiths ever appeared in, Among Giants, someone in a bar says glumly,
“Don’t go having a good time. You’ll only brood about it in years to come.”
Great. The movie’s title is on the tip of my tongue, but all I can say is…
I kick ass for the Lord!
Oh, well. Somebody else must have seen this rotten movie.
I kick ass for the Lord!
Isn’t that from Peter Jackson’s zombie flick Dead Alive? I think that movie had a couple of titles on video, I can’t recall the other one.
“There’s a herd of killer rabbits coming this way!”
-Night of the Lepus (1972)
How dare you categorize UHF as a bad movie! :eek: :mad: 
If UHS is a bad movie, it’s a bad yet good movie.
And has some great stuff in it.
[On the game show, “Wheel of Fish”, Phyllis Weaver has just spun the wheel and landed on a red snapper]
Kuni : Ahhh, a red snapper. Mmmmm, very tasty. Okay, Weaver, listen carefully. You can hold on to your red snapper…
[Hiro-San emerges, carrying a table with a box]
Kuni : …or you can go for what’s in the box that Hiro-San is bringing down the aisle right now! What’s it gonna be?
[Phyllis Weaver decides between the Red Snapper and the box. The audience points to the box]
Phyllis Weaver : I’ll take the box. The box!
[the audience applauded]
Kuni : You took the box? Let’s see what’s in the box!
[Hiro-san opened the box, and the audience gasps in silence]
Kuni : Nothing! Absolutely nothing! STUPID! You’re so STU-PIIIIIIIIIIID!
And of course,
“Let’s see if Poodles can fly”. (Throws it out the window. A thump is heard) “Well, sometimes it takes them a couple tries”.
Erin Brockovich:
Trudy: I think we got off on the wrong foot.
Erin Brockovich: That’s all you’ve got, Trudy. Two wrong feet in fucking ugly shoes.
Thought of the day.
Isn’t the most common problem with bad movie scripts that they contain too many “great lines”? I mean, stuff like the lines that are selected for trailers. Quotable stuff. Stuff that makes the writer feel clever, and sort of warm and all tingly inside. Many bad action movies have heroes who can’t open their mouth without saying some witty wisecrack - the “Oscar Wilde on stereoids” syndrome.
A good movie needs a lot of ordinary, humdrum lines - then the great lines will work. Just like a movie can’t be made solely out of colorful and flamboyant characters. Even though those are the things that make movies. Proof: that burning trainwreck, the last Batman movie.
Come to think of it, some political campaigns have that problem too.
Sylvester Stallone in Tango & Cash: “Rambo is a pussy!”
And a pox on everyone who called They Live a bad movie. (On the other hand, I thought UHF sucked, so take that as you will…)
What’s even more fun is that the number of screenwriters who really are clever is much, much smaller than the number who attempt to be clever in the manner you describe. Which results in movies and lines that are unintentionally hilarious later on. It’s sort of like compost makes your garden better.
One of my favorite lines from bad movies is from Bride of Re-animator:
“This morbid doodling with human body parts - is this what it’s all about?”
But one of my favorites of all time is from the obscure 80’s crude-rude-and-socially-unacceptable yuck-fest, The Whoopie Boys, delivered by the effeminate, lisping Taylor Negron, in a discussion of the sudden change of cast on Bewitched:
“You can’t just change Dicks midstream!”
That was a part of Taylor Negron’s stand-up routine. I don’t think it counts, since it’s not really part of the screenplay, just an attempt to pad time by making the actors bring their own material.
I saw part of a movie, once. No idea what it was called, what it was about, or who was in it. I saw the scene I’m about to describe, and a further ten minutes to confirm that the part I saw was not representative of the whole.
A guy’s getting beat up by a biker in a small apartment. All of a sudden, a short, wiry Mexican dude crashes through the window and, with a truly disturbing manic grin, confronts the biker. Confused, the biker asks, “Who the hell are you?” The intruder replies, “Super Chicano, asshole!” slaps himself in the face a couple of times a la Curly Joe, and then proceeds to beat the ever luvin’ fuck out of the biker.
I was laughing so hard I may have lost consciousness for a few minutes.
From Showgirls:
“It must be weird not having people come on you”
Plan 9:
“Let’s you and me ball it up in Albuquerque”
Glen or Glenda:
“Pull the shtring! Pull the shtring!”
Andy Warhol’s Frankenstein:
“To know life, Otto, you must fuck death in the gall bladder”
Some MuthaF****rs are always trying to iceskate uphill.
Put *down * the bunny!!
Put the Bunny back in the box!
Two from an all-but-forgotten, early Jim Carrey movie called Once Bitten…
Mark: “I don’t wanna be a vampire. I’m a day person!”
The Countess: “Put down the cross, Robin. It only works in movies. Besides, I’m an atheist.”
Cheesy, cheesy vampire-needs-virgin-blood movie, but I love it!
I **had ** to quote that movie. When Nick Cage said it in ConAir, my jaw dropped. :eek:
UHF quoting, and nobody called me? Well… the BEST exchange in the whole movie is thus:
FLETCHER: “You idiot! Can’t you do anything I tell you to do? Does this look like a number 2 pencil?!?”
UNDERLING: “No, but I thought-"
FLETCHER: “You THOUGHT?!? I don’t pay you to THINK!!”
UNDERLING: "But, Da-a-a-a-”
FLETCHER: “Shut up!”