How much pee to pee when a doctor says "pee in this cup"?

[Shodan]

@Skammer

Any time I’ve had to provide a semen sample (my wife and I have gone through several rounds of IUI), the handoff has been like a super secret drop in a spy movie. After I have the sample in the cup, I open a little metal door in the wall to a small alcove. After I close the door, a little light goes on in the next room to alert the technician that the sperm is in the safe and then they open the alcove from a door on their side. Meanwhile I have been provided with directions to exit the doctor’s office from the back hallway, so as not to be seen leaving by the staff or the patients in the waiting room. It’s very cloak-and-dagger.

[punchline]
You have a better HMO,
[/punchline]

Nothing cloak and dagger about the process when I had to make my contribution - no doubt in anyone’s mind what I was there to do. The nurse behind the desk had seen it all, too - she didn’t blink an eye when I asked if I could bring my wife along to assist.

The only time she reacted was when I asked how many other people I could bring as well.

Regards,
Shodan

[outlierrn]

@Cat_Whisperer

Okay, so when you say “cup,” you mean “proper urine specimen container.” Got it.

I never say, let alone type, proper specimen container when cup will do.

[Mama_Zappa]

@Cub_Mistress

30 ml (or 30 cc but this is incorrect these days) is about 3 tablespoons, so 10 to 20 ml is about one to two tablespoons.

When I worked in a hospital we always tried to collect at least 30 ml.

actually 30 ml is about one ounce, which is two tablespoons.

[Irishman]

You know what we call a sterile plastic container for collecting urine when it doesn’t have a lid? A cup. (Okay, the horse is dead.)

Typically I have seen in lab collection containers be like this

http://www.globescientific.com/65-oz-collection-cup-with-pour-spout-polypropylene-pp-p-506.html

65 oz plastic cup, no lid. They used a paper lid.

Notice that page calls it a “collection cup”.

The one time I had to do a 24 hour collection, I was given a red plastic jug similar to a 1 gallon gas cannister (lid was different).

johnpost said:

you should also clearly label it something like

‘pee – not major brewery beer’

If you label it “beer” it is safe from me.

[Autolycus]

This reminds me of a story I read here I think of some poor soul trying to get a fecal sample in the tiny tiny vials used sometimes for urine. Anyone else remember that?

[pseudotriton_ruber_ruber]

They asked me for a stool sample, a urine sample, a blood sample and a semen sample, so I handed them my underwear.

[Mama_Zappa]

@Autolycus

This reminds me of a story I read here I think of some poor soul trying to get a fecal sample in the tiny tiny vials used sometimes for urine. Anyone else remember that?

I don’t remember that tale, but I was given a similar-sized container to take home when I needed to provide a stool sample… I’d spent the entire previous week running to the bathroom and doubling over in cramps and pooping every 20 minutes, but when I made it to the doctor’s office, oh noooooooo, not gonna perform there… (said my gut).

So I had this little jar to take home, and bring back with something in it the next morning. They didn’t need much fortunately.

And the entire way back to the doc’s office that morning, all I could think of was “Dear God. I don’t want to ever have my purse snatched in New York City. But if it’s my destiny to have that happen, today would be sort of OK”. And giggling as I envisioned myself filing a police report describing the contents of said snatched purse.

[Antigen]

@Ionizer

The ‘anal’ comment is about a very small % of Techs I have experienced that threw anything less than than their concept of ‘perfect’ into the trash (literally), or ‘contract labs’ that reject stuff that is not exactly as they insist, but within reasonable limits. Not the usual routine, by any means, and certainly not a blanket statement By far, most of us Techs can/will work around less than perfect samples. Comment fields are very, very familiar to me, but some Techs had no idea what to do with 'em.

Wow. Pull that shit in any of the hospitals where I’ve worked, and your butt’s out the door. Even unacceptable specimens - and I mean really unacceptable, like a urine tube with only a drop in it - are kept for a number of days. Hell, we’ve gotten empty tubes sometimes, and we can’t throw them out. And I’ve run plenty of “unacceptable” specimens when they’re not easily recoverable, like when they’ve had to cath a baby in the ER, and the urine spills out of the container into the biohazard transport bag - I hate doing it but I’ll put a comment and say it was run at the request of Dr. Whoever. CYA.

As for collection, we usethese kits, which have a sterile cup with a screw top, and a sterile plastic yellow-topped tube. The blue lid has a little tube inside that reaches into the urine, and you peel back the small paper cover to reveal a sharp needle. Flip the yellow-topped tube over, puncture its top with that needle, and suction will pull urine up into it. Sterile transfer, and lets you pee into a cup, and lets us work with a tube. Easier for all involved.

[ChrisBooth12]

overflow that baby

[even_sven]

When I was a Peace Corps volunteer in Cameroon, periodically throughout our service all of the volunteers would have to do medical tests to check out for nasty parasites and the like. One requirement was that we submit three stool samples on three different days.

We had a sort of hostel in the capital where we could stay during this process. Imagine a giant house full of a few dozen Peace Corps volunteers, all trying desperately to poop. People were smoking like crazy, brewing pot after pot of coffee, etc. The communal fridge was full of all sorts of brown bags covered in stern warnings. All anyone could talk about was their poop.

The kicker was that we had to take the samples to the lab- on the other side of Yaounde- ourselves. There is nothing quite like a cab ride through a poor African capital city. Usually we’d be crowded in with a few strangers, carefully carrying our bags while the cab is rushing at breakneck speed through the chaos. Even on the best day, even a simple ride through Yao can be a pretty intense experience. It’s all the weirder wielding bags of poop!

[Lust4Life]

I remember once at a medical after asking for a urine sample the nurse said resignedly, don’t tell me you went before you got here.
( no doubt because so many people "dry up "with embarassment because someones listening while they pee).

She was pleasently surprised when I told her that I hadn’t.

Actually I’d had a couple of pints before hand and after I’d filled the container to the brim ended up having to piss in the sink for about five minutes.

Which made me stick in her memory, but probably not for good reasons.

[Leo_Bloom]

The wrap up of what the lab techs (LTs) consider useful: One ounce, or two table spoons, or 30 ml, or a portion of a shot-glass (I’ll remember that image the most).

I believe that everyone in this thread overpees in the specimen cup. I think it would be healthy for all of us to raise our hands and each person to say if they do or not, and, importantly, why.* LTs, who know the rules, especially must id themselves as such, and if they overpee, their reasons would be all the more interesting.

FWIW, I have an image of a giant 7-foot high toilet where all the extra pee goes. If indeed most everyone in the US overpees, that means the lab technicians must throw out the excess, which the donors might just as easily flushed down the toilet himself to begin with.
This adds an unnecessary step in processing, and can be seen as a contributor to the decline of the GDP we’re all aware of.

*Participation voluntary.

[Ionizer]

@Leo_Bloom

I believe that everyone in this thread overpees in the specimen cup. I think it would be healthy for all of us to raise our hands and each person to say if they do or not, and, importantly, why.* LTs, who know the rules, especially must id themselves as such, and if they overpee, their reasons would be all the more interesting.

FWIW, I have an image of a giant 7-foot high toilet where all the extra pee goes. If indeed most everyone in the US overpees, that means the lab technicians must throw out the excess, which the donors might just as easily flushed down the toilet himself to begin with.
This adds an unnecessary step in processing, and can be seen as a contributor to the decline of the GDP we’re all aware of.

*Participation voluntary.

Not sure how serious this is (?), but its usually better to have (or give) it and not need it -v- need it and not have it. Since I know the deal, I give enough and maybe a bit more.

This is just like when blood is taken - all of it is not used (99% of time probably) and remainder is eventually tossed. Granted, it does cost to trash blood/tissue products (bio-hazard by definition and goes into the red ‘boxes’ that get burned) whereas urine goes down a sink/toilet or wherever. It is not really a problem to ‘take out the trash’, so to speak, is it? The reverse of too much is not enough - and that makes things go slower for patients awaiting their time of medical attention when a test is delayed due to inadequate amount. That might be a part of a GDP calculation should you want to factor things out, 'eh?

Why is a 7’-tall toilet pictured in your mind? That takes a very tall person Its not like Techs need to shoot hoop with the urine when they toss it out - is it?!