Auto, first things first: stop talking to the crazy chick. If she has feelings for you she will get ticked off at you for dating other chicks and freak out on you about random crap all the time. It will not end well. Don’t date her, don’t screw her, don’t talk to her. Just walk away, my friend.
Secondly, you had mentioned before trying to drink less and I somehow don’t see that being possible in a bar situation. You might want to find a place to hang out that is less alcohol-friendly. I’m not saying you’ve got a problem because I don’t know you well enough to make that assessment but you’ve mentioned wanting to cut back. Start cutting back now. Alcohol makes you think about sticking your dick in the crazy when you know you shouldn’t otherwise. Remember that.
I agree with a good number of the previous posters: steer clear of crazy chick. The whole back-and-forth with the games and the religiousity talks speaks volumes of not-goodness.
This girl is ugly. She’s crazy. She makes you uncomfortable.
Why, exactly, is not hanging out with her an issue? Because you’re the same religion?
That strikes me as very, very odd. However, I have no religion to speak of and perhaps this is how things are done among those who do.
Also, inviting girls that you don’t like and think are ugly and crazy into your house because you’re horny and want to get your dick wet, even if you know they’re into you and probably want a relationship is not nice. It means you’re not a nice guy. A regular guy, perhaps, but not a nice guy. Please refrain from using that moniker to describe yourself. You’re just a regular, horn-dog guy. Nothing much wrong with that, but if you’re going to be a horn-dog, at least own it, ya know?
I am sorry, but you don’t like this girl, you say she is not pretty, you have all these bad things to say about her. But, you invite her in because you are horny, and she is the bad person here? Sounds like she should be running from you. You speak about her with thinly veiled contempt for coming on to you so strong. But you would have had sex with her anyway, because…?
I have a lot of…confusion…over all the Bible study, worship services, etc. mixed in with insulting women, hoping for ‘poon’ etc.
She sounds messed up, no doubt. But you are not coming off any better.
It’s the part where he doesn’t even find her attractive that baffles me most, though. Most of the time when I hear stuff like this from a guy, it’s because he thinks the girl is hot and so is willing to overlook the crazy to have a fling with her.
My understanding of this, and granted, it’s not great, is that while her face/body may be nasty, her ‘poon’ is probably just as functional as any other womans, maybe even attractive.
Clearly, Auto is a horn-dog. And I honestly have no problem with that. However, being a horn-dog and then grousing about how you’re a nice guy and no girls like you is obnoxious.
I think that this comment is at the heart of the matter.
You state that you “attract drama” as if you had no control over it. Your whole story shows that you actively court it. It’s kind of silly to lament these situations. It’s not as if you find yourself in them because of bad luck. You find yourself in them because you seek them out!
Let’s just leave aside the inviting crazy girl in for sex bit. We can find lots of evidence without even going there.
You met this girl at church.
She was hitting on you and you weren’t interested in her that way. You kept hanging out with her anyway.
She got all weird and clingy and jealous. WTF? You kept hanging out with her anyway.
Your friend confirmed that she had issues. You kept hanging out with her anyway.
She started making bizarre manipulative comments. You kept hanging out with her anyway.
You invited her to go out afterwards. :smack: :smack: :smack:
Don’t you see that her bizarre behavior at the bar and afterwards was a totally forseeable outcome?
Don’t you see that future attempts to diplomatically avoid her will just be made more complicated by the fact that you went out to the bar with her and had her back to your house?
Don’t you see that at any point, you could have said “kthxbye” and just ended the situation?
I mean, I would have been out of there at #1. Maybe many people would have stuck it out through #2 or #3 out of a misplaced sense of “politeness.” Any sane person would have bailed at #4 at the very latest. But you went to #5???
How can you not see that you bring this crap on yourself?
The story of the girl with the red dress provides and excellent microcosm of this whole issue. You saw a girl that was clearly not-quite-right at the moment. Gorgeous + sulking + tight red dress + fishing for compliments = Danger Will Robinson!! The only sensible thing to do is not get involved. Or if you find yourself involved, to minimize the interaction. You did the opposite. I don’t care that you made her cry. I do care that you see this as “attracting drama” instead of acknowledging that you consciously chose to create that drama.
You know I adore you, but you have really got to accept responsibility for you actions!!
I don’t want to turn this into a discussion on my faith, but I’ll just say I disagree with many Christian teachings regarding sexuality.
As for the worldly thing, it depends a lot on what you mean by that. My role model for the Christian faith is the Jesuit order. They have jobs, they have social lives, and they are also typically very religious people. As for worldly in the sense of ‘sins of the flesh,’ well, again this is an oversimplification, but my goal is moderation and staying free of addiction.
I’m so sure this comment will crush him, as that’s what he was totally going for. Seriously what was this comment even made for?
Auto, I’m hoping a lot of this was hindsight as in “Wow, now that I look back on it, she was really crazy” moreso than seeing it flat out and saying “Wow, it’s apparent that she’s really crazy but I wanna get laid so bad I’m willing to compromise.” As a few other posters have said, this doesn’t exactly portray you as the kind guy that you try to make yourself out to be here.
I gave it some thought, and I’ve decided to do this.
Let me explain why I let things progress so far. I’m not absolving myself of responsibility here. Now that I’ve had time to think about things, I realize that I kinda fucked up.
It was a combination of things really. One, it felt good at first to be hit on and have my ego stroked. This is a relatively new thing for me, so I admit it clouded my judgment for a while. Two, I felt bad for her. She told me how she didn’t have many friends and all these other things, and I felt shallow and bad to just dismiss things at the get-go. In general I have a hard time saying no to people; it’s something I need to work on. She asked to drive me home, she asked to get my number, she asked to go to the bar, she asked to come into the house, and I didn’t have the guts to turn her down. I realize that doing things just because you feel bad for somebody is often a horrible thing (and not nice to boot), but it’s hard sometimes. Does that make any sense?
Three, it was important that we shared the same faith. I haven’t had any Christian friends in a while, and it’s nice to be able to talk about faith issues from a groundpoint of mutual understanding. Lastly, yes, lately I have been quite horny. At no point did I plan on sleeping with her, but the thought did cross my mind.
Like Green Been said, I do need to accept responsibility for my actions. I fucked up and my course of action from here will be to ignore her calls (1 ignored just in writing this), and maintain a cordial but aloof demeanor with her in person.
Ladies, this is guy code for " I wasn’t planning on it, but I was prepared for the possibility that I might be convinced it was worth it"
It’s usually not, Auto Trust me. Even if they’re not crazy, you’ll often regret it for any of a panoply of reasons. And I’ve been there, done that, got the penicillin shot…
(not really, but I’ve been in enough situations b/c of stuff like this that a quick dose of the clap would have been easier.)
All together, now:
DON’T STICK YOUR DICK IN THE CRAZY