Until I was about six or seven, I thought that when you said “God damn” or “Jesus Christ” in anger, you were saying the Lord’s name in Spain.
I used to think:
Australia was an island.
Pandas and koalas were bears.
George Washington had wooden teeth.
Dinosaurs and cavemen lived at the same time.
clairobscur was a woman. :o
The lyrics to America the Beautiful included the words
“…and crown thy *hood * with brother hood from sea to shining sea.”
I spent way too much of my childhood wondering:
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How the Police knew if you removed the tag on the bottom of the furniture.
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What they did to you if you did.
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Why they cared.
In other news, I was likely a teenager before I found out
that “Forhesajollagafella” wasn’t one big word. :smack:
…that Paladin’s first name was Wire.
I thought the phrase “for all intents and purposes” was really “for all intensive purposes.” It wasn’t until I read it in a book that I figured out the real wording.
. . . that when the highway sign said “Exit Only” that there was no way to reenter the highway there, so I kept driving until I came across an exit without the “Exit Only” sign. (I was going south, but wanted to turn around and go north.) Don’t ask how old I was.
[Hijack]
One day, I shall name my sandwich shop Muhammed Deli
I always wondered why things that were roughly similar were good for all intensive purposes. It seemed that those are exactly the purposes for which you’d need the actual thing.
Also, since my friend Joe’s mom was white and his dad was black, I thought he was vibracial.
–Cliffy
The real wording is:
Four Intense Porpoises. Fnord
Don’t tell a soul.
Aggravated assault.
As in: “I HAD to hit him Judge, he pissed me off!”
Uh, pandas are bears and Asutralia is an island…
That a genie lived in a little triangular patch of light created by the streetlight outside my bedroom window. If I was good, the genie would give me candy.
Sadly, it seems I was never quite good enough.
…that the moon followed me around.
…that felons were accident prone people who always left the seat up. :o :o
…that car phones’ phone #'s were people’s licence plate #'s, and you could call them when they were driving like idiots. My mother loved that one.
I used to believe that all doctors went into the medical field because they wanted to help their fellow man, and that they had a strong calling to heal people.
I had similar beliefs about politicians.
That Jesus was rather small – or God was very big – because:
I guess I knew more than I thought I did!!! 
… that when someone hit you, you had suffered a salt and were given a battery.
… that a certain state of unconsciousness was “nacoma.”
As in: “Your friend is very sick. She’s in nacoma.”
While (great) pandas are indeed bears (red pandas are more iffy), Australia’s a continent, not an island.