Let's plan our post-rapture party!

[TruCelt]

Yeah, I’m expecting more ownerless Lincolns than anything else.

I wonder if it ever occurs tot hese folks that it did, in fact, happen, and they are still here?

And what happens to people born after the big day? What if some really righteous believer is born during the millenial age? Are they just SOL?

[Baffle]

The rapture will occur right at the very end of a 12-hour shift I intend to work. And I’ll have another one the day after. Some party.

[Hambil]

My theory is that the rapture already happened years ago but only five people got taken to heaven, and they were just reported as missing person cases and nobody really noticed

[Skald_the_Rhymer]

@Boyo_Jim

Unless they get hungry.

If you let you attack lizards get hungry enough to overcome both their training and the shock collars, you deserve to be eaten.

@Oy

How big are the attack lizards? Are we talking Komodo Dragons, or geckos, or somewhere in between?

And, while I understand that lizards, being cold-blooded, require less food to sustain them than most mammals of equivalent size, do you expect us to have sufficient occasions to command the lizards to attack (or situations in which their lives are threatened) that they will have enough prey-food to sustain themselves?

And, silly, by house-trained, I mean can we leave them on sentry duty in the house without waking up to lizard fewmets (scat, faeces, turds) all over the place? Don’t know about you, but I’m not all that taken by the idea of waking up to go to the bathroom and stepping into lizard poo.

I live alone in an urban area. Maybe I should consider acquiring one of these attack lizards. Have you any more for sale?

You don’t use attack lizards for home defense. You use defense lizards for home defense. Attack lizards are meant to kill and eat people on command.

@Oakminster

These particular attack lizards are of the Bearded Dragon variety. Very well trained, and don’t causes issues with fewmets. Poop is rare, and usually just a pellet. When not eating intruders or other annoyances, they eat super worms and salad greens.

Oak, of course, has chosen to retrain his lizards. That’s his option but he’s voided the warranty.

[Skald_the_Rhymer]

@TruCelt

Yeah, I’m expecting more ownerless Lincolns than anything else.

I wonder if it ever occurs tot hese folks that it did, in fact, happen, and they are still here?

And what happens to people born after the big day? What if some really righteous believer is born during the millenial age? Are they just SOL?

Yahweh murdered countless multitudes of newborns in the Old Testament. Not merely during the Deluge (and some wankers argue that he caused a cessation in pregnancies some time before the Big Day), but during the Ten Plagues in Exodus and, by proxy, during the invasion of Canaan. I can’t imagine that he’d care.

Athena, of course, would never do such a thing.

[Oy]

@Skald_the_Rhymer

You don’t use attack lizards for home defense. You use defense lizards for home defense. Attack lizards are meant to kill and eat people on command.

Well, considering how I feel about my landlord and his wife downstairs, attack lizards might actually be more appropriate…

[Mr.Excellent]

Can we have a Diplomacy tournament? I’m one of those misguided souls who believes the game to be much more fun in person than over mail - that’s probably one of the reasons I’ll be Left Behind, actually. Anyway, I’ll bring the board.

I’ll also loot some good Scotch, of course. Do you folks like Laphroig?

Oh - and most important: Does anyone mind if I pick up some abandoned military hardware? Say, an armored division’s worth? I was thinking that after the party, we could train up and use the gear to conquer as many of the dazed and traumatized left-behinds as we can reach, forging a new and terrible Last Empire with which to wage bitter and unrelenting war upon God Himself, along with His Followers.

Or, we could have an x-box tournament. I’m flexible. But I’d sort of prefer to scourge Earth clean of all those who won’t bow before our invincible war machine. shrugs

[Skald_the_Rhymer]

@Mr.Excellent

Can we have a Diplomacy tournament? I’m one of those misguided souls who believes the game to be much more fun in person than over mail - that’s probably one of the reasons I’ll be Left Behind, actually. Anyway, I’ll bring the board.

I’ll also loot some good Scotch, of course. Do you folks like Laphroig?

Oh - and most important: Does anyone mind if I pick up some abandoned military hardware?

Are you kidding? There’s looting to be done. You’re not getting into the party WITHOUT weapons.

Well, I’ll make exceptions based on my whim.

Say, an armored division’s worth? I was thinking that after the party, we could train up and use the gear to conquer as many of the dazed and traumatized left-behinds as we can reach, forging a new and terrible Last Empire with which to wage bitter and unrelenting war upon God Himself, along with His Followers.

I think you meant to type, “forging a new and terrible empire in Athena’s name, with with to wage bitter…” etc.

Or, we could have an x-box tournament. I’m flexible. But I’d sort of prefer to scourge Earth clean of all those who won’t bow before our invincible war machine. shrugs

I don’t do xbox. I’ll tolerate those who do, but only because your inattention will give me the leisure to take the choicest bits of whatever arsenals y’all bring.

[Clothahump]

@aruvqan

Um, shouldn’t the party be held on the Plains of Meggido?

Here’s a question, just for the sake of argument.

According to some premillennial Christian interpretations, the Messiah will return to earth and defeat the Antichrist (the “beast”) Satan/Lucifer/ Devil in the battle of Armageddon. Then Satan will be put into the “bottomless pit” or abyss for 1,000 years, known as the Millennial Age. After being released from the abyss, Satan will gather Gog and Magog (peoples of two specific nations) from the four corners of the earth. They will encamp surrounding the “holy ones” and the “beloved city” (this refers to Jerusalem). Fire will come down from God, out of heaven and devour Gog and Magog after the Millennium, and the Devil who deceived them is thrown into Gehenna (the Lake of Fire and brimstone, or Hell) where the Beast and the False Prophet have been since just before the 1,000 years.

Now, if I’m Satan (or whoever), doesn’t it seem likely that I’ve read this prophecy? And I see that I’m gonna get my butt kicked? Why would I not then say to myself, “Self - this sucks diseased yak wang. Let’s try a different strategy.”

[Surly_Chick]

@jjimm

Would love to make it, but I’ll be too busy stealing Aston Martins from those who have been Taken Up.

Can you get those little metal fish thingies off the car without marring the paint? Because I don’t want a fish outline on the rear of my Aston Martin.

[Mr.Excellent]

@Skald_the_Rhymer

I think you meant to type, “forging a new and terrible empire in Athena’s name, with with to wage bitter…” etc.

Fair enough - especially since, if memory serves, “Goddess of War” is part of Athena’s portfolio. So long as we get to the bitter and unrelenting war bit, I’m happy to give Athena a nod for the project.

[Mr.Excellent]

@Surly_Chick

Can you get those little metal fish thingies off the car without marring the paint? Because I don’t want a fish outline on the rear of my Aston Martin.

You could slap a Darwin Fish over the Jesus Fish outline, maybe.

[WolfpackJeep]

@Surly_Chick

Can you get those little metal fish thingies off the car without marring the paint? Because I don’t want a fish outline on the rear of my Aston Martin.

Sounds like I’ll be bringing WD-40, detergent, and car detailing accessories.

[Skald_the_Rhymer]

@WolfpackJeep

Sounds like I’ll be bringing WD-40, detergent, and car detailing accessories.

Is your name MacGyver? Is it Michael Weston? Because if it isn’t, you’re leaving out weapons, which we’re going to be needing. Please expand your shopping list.

[DocCathode]

I’ll be bringing bacon cheeseburgers, since if G-d has abandoned me there’s really no more reason to keep kosher.

I’ll also be bringing this
Yes, I really do own it. It’s in my dining room closet.

[WolfpackJeep]

@Skald_the_Rhymer

Is your name MacGyver? Is it Michael Weston? Because if it isn’t, you’re leaving out weapons, which we’re going to be needing. Please expand your shopping list.

I’ve got a shotgun, but it needs cleaning.

[Oakminster]

@WolfpackJeep

I’ve got a shotgun, but it needs cleaning.

A shotgun? That’s kinda like owning a potato chip. You’re going to have to do better than that. Or bring more booze. Or drugs. Post rapture I don’t expect the DEA is going to be very enthusiastic about their work…

[WolfpackJeep]

I can definitely supply the booze!

If I had known about this when I was cleaning out my parents’ house, I wouldn’t have gotten rid of that bottle of ‘untaxed liquor’.

[Rick]

I’ll empty the liquor locker and bring it.
Who is bringing the ice?

[Cicero]

After watching a documentary about David Berg and the Children of God, I am not sure I want to be part of this. However I will bring my Skade collection