Shitty economy is now over; you can start reading Amazon product reviews again.
This is a fun fact, but I didn’t make it up: A rock of salt over 10 pounds will float in salt water.
George W Bush, Dick Cheney and the cohorts were handed hard jail terms for lying about the existence of WMD in Iraq and starting war causing innumerable casualties on both sides and wasting tax money for the said war. Bush received extra term for his involvement with the year 2000 Gore vs Bush Presidential election fraud. Also Jeb Bush and Katherine Harris received similar terms for their involvement in the said election fraud. Lastly Dick Cheney received extra 10 year term for his involvement with and profiting through a private entity, Halliburton.
Does this mean that I should stop drinking it?
Tom Cruise had 1/4 inch silicone heel implants surgically inserted into his feet shortly after All the Righ Moves was released.
The modern-day Bagpipe is based upon an improvised demoralizing technique utilized by the ancient Scots during battle- that of tucking a cat underneath your left arm and biting its tail. The resultant yowling had been known to send entire armies fleeing.
The five moons of Mars are Phobos, Deimos, Porthos, Athos, and Aramis.
Noted funk musician George Clinton’s first hit record was a cover version of the Hoagy Carmichael standard “Stardust.”
The world leaders admitted they kept secret of the fact that Earthlings have become subjugated by space alien life forms for the last 3 decades.
On September 12th, 2001 George W. Bush attempted to declare Martian Law in the United States, but was unable to convince Congress that there was such a thing.
Dick Cheney was arrested at a spa in Seattle for repeatedly and aggressively commanding the masseuse to “Release the Kraken!”
Rob Schneider recently admitted to frequently hiring migrant workers behind an LA Home Depot to come to his home and choke him.
Coca Cola never contained Cocaine, but the original Pepsi recipe was built around opium.
The average male will accidentally sit on his own testicles a total of 47 times over his lifetime.
-
The US Air Force conducted a study in the 1950s to determine if American or Soviet cockroaches would more readily survive a nuclear war. The discouraging results may have been a factor in avoiding a nuclear exchange between the superpowers.
-
Max Shreck used a minimal amount of makeup in the film Nosferatu, he really was that ugly.
-
John Wayne lost his sight in one eye half way through the filming of True Grit, due to a mishap with a pickle. Unfortunately, it was the eye not covered by the patch, forcing him to complete the movie effectively blind. The subsequent blooper tape has been in the possession of several famous celebrities, all of which have died untimely.
-
A 1984 study into the effect of cheese consumption in monkeys concluded it caused an increase in fear and anxiety.
-
Howard Hughes was a believer in Lamarkism, and planned to practise it on his children.
The navigational line called the anticrine is the obverse of a reticulated parallel. A navigator who knows both his current anticrine and horological coordinate can calculate his ship’s true position even inside chimerical navigation zones (e.g., the Bermuda Triangle.)
Abraham Lincoln’s middle name was Mary, in honor of his recently deceased grandmother.
Combining funds from black-budget projects, the NSA and CIA built a time machine. But when they sent an operative to kill Fidel Castro’s mother, a software glitch sent him to Asia Minor, where he founded the Hittite civilization.
Purely by coincidence, George W. Bush’s first language is Hittite.
-There are 57 US states. Obama wasn’t supposed to tell us. One of these hidden states is populated by the Oompa Loompas.
-Obama is not the first black president. Andrew Jackson was also half white and half black. Some of his descendants went on to fame of their own. Bo Jackson went on to baseball and football fame while Peter Jackson became a star in the film industry. Some of his other notable descendants are Stonewall Jackson who was famous for his root beer floats and Samuel Jackson who is a famous snake handler.
-The KKK took my baby away.
While conventional lore insists that cats have nine lives, a scientific study [citation needed] led by Pr. Schrödinger determined that the common household cat only has 5.7 lives on average. The study did confirm that there were many ways to skin the common household cat, however.
Proctor and Gamble co-founder James Gamble was a Satan-worshipper. This is shown in the company’s logo, which includes numerous Satanic references. This was confirmed on TV by a company executive in the 1970s to Phil Donohue and again in the 1990s to Oprah Winfrey.
-The reason that the US did not declare war on Finland during WWII is that when the State Department was compiling the list of Axis nations, a prankster substituted ‘Freedonia’ (the fictional land from the Marx Brothers’ film ‘Duck Soup’) for Finland. The state of the war between the US and Freedonia still exists since no one can find a Freedonian representative to sign a peace treaty.
-Despite the claims in ‘The Simpsons,’ Chief Justice Earl Warren was never a male stripper. It was Associate Justice William O. Douglas who once worked as an exotic dancer. The writers of ‘The Simpsons’ knew this, but decided ‘Chief Justice’ made a better joke than ‘Associate Justice.’
-Due to a combination of manufacturing defects and quantum tunnelling, an estimated 10-15% of ballpoint pens disappear via wormholes to another Galaxy. Astronomers currently believe that the pens are in the Andromeda Galaxy, revising earlier theories that had the Large Magellanic Cloud as their destination.
Sandy Koufax was naturally righthanded, but threw with his left hand because his religious beliefs forbade him from using his right hand for trivial activities such as athletic competitions.
Only one of the statements in this post is false:
1 - Until the company was forced to stop around 1960, Lysol was marketed as a vaginal douche (and was wildly successful at it, too).
2 - Bubble wrap, the ubiquitous packing material that’s fun to pop, was not developed for that purpose originally. In fact, its first commercial use was marketed as some kind of uber-modern wallpaper.
3 - A subcommittee of the Indiana state legislature - the Committee on Education, in fact - passed a resolution for submission to the House of Representatives regulating the value of “pi” to be one of up to 9 different values, including the rational values of 3.2 and 4.0. The House then voted unanimously in favor of the bill, 67-0.
The common “Hummingbird” is not actually a bird, it is actually a herbivorous mosquito
If you eat Pasta and Antipasta, you will still be hungry afterwards (and have a bad case of indegestion and/or Acid Reflux)